Off closes his eyes and tightened his grip on the wheel chair's arm rests. He remembers now. He remembers the unbearable pain and immeasurable fear.
"Nooo!", he screamed which startled Newwiee and the other people nearby.
He is panting heavily then buried his face on his palms, trying to make sense of the reality.
"What's wrong, P? Is anything hurting? Your wounds? Your bruises?", New asked in panic, searching which part of his elder brother's body is hurting. He kneeled in front of his brother, wanting to get his attention.
Off began to understand why they are avoiding the topic about Gun. He slowly looked up, gazing at New.
Though he is afraid to hear the answer to the question he's about to ask, still he has to know the truth.
"Tell me, where is he?", he asked his younger brother.
New was taken aback, gazing back at his P'Off's eyes. Making sure that his brother is asking about the person he already know.
"Do you remember him now?", the bulky man asked his brother.
Off grabbed Newwie's collar, pulling him close, only inches away from his face asking in between his gritting teeth and his sharp gaze.
"Where is Gun? Tell me now.", he repeated with emphasis.
New gently held his brother's hand, trying to calm him down. Loosening the grip of his P'Off's hold. He then stood up then gently pushed his brother's wheel chair going to the seemingly the longest hallway, passing by different rooms until they reached the farthest end.
They saw Tay and Singto standing in front of a room which has a huge glass window where they watches a small man looking so fragile, strapped in various kinds of life preserving machines. The two glances at the siblings with sympathy.
New slowly turned the wheel chair to the side to show him Gun whose now battling for his life.
Off's heart sank, feeling weak at the sight of his beloved man's condition. New held his brother's shoulders, giving him strength while Tay comes closer to his partner rubbing the bulky lad's back.
"He has not woken up yet.", New uttered.
"He might be waiting for you.",Tay said, glancing at his friend.
Singto opened the door to the intensive care unit so Off can enter.
"Be strong for him.", Singto uttered, gently pressing Off's shoulder as he passes by him.
New slowly pushed the wheelchair into the room and stopped beside Gun's bed.
"Please leave us alone. I want to stay beside him.", the older lad asked while his gaze is fixated on his partner's pitiful condition.
Newwiee just nodded and left the room, followed by Singto and Tay.
"Aight! Gotta head home now. I still have some personal things to attend to .", he said, nodding at the couple as he turns to leave.
Tay and New watches their friend until he is out of sight. Awkward silence envelopes them afterwards.
They unconsciously walked together towards the hospital's open ground. Both are hesitant to speak.
Tay sat down on an empty bench, Newwiee follows him.
"New.."
"Tay.."
Both spoke at the same time, glancing at each other, averting each other's gaze after. Silence.
"When did we become like this?", Tay asked after a moment.
Newwiee felt the sadness in his lover's voice. He let out a sigh and turns to look at Tay.
"Since that day I saw you kissing Joss.", Newwiee spoke.
Tay was surprised, feeling guilty all of a sudden. He looked at his partner with a baffled look.
"Yes. I saw it. I was about to pick you up that day cause the shoot ended early but you were already gone when I reached the office. Then I saw you and Joss in his car as I passed by.", New revealed.
"Hin..", Tay wanted to explain but he couldn't find the proper words to say it.
"I thought I was wrong. I hoped I was wrong. I hoped it wasn't you and Joss. I gave you a chance to explain.. But you chose to hide it.", New continued, biting his lip, pacifying his aching heart.
"New..", Tay uttered, feeling anxious at his beloved man's bitterness.
"I tried to be understanding, Tay. I thought I can handle it. Then I began to question myself. Was I not enough? Have I done something wrong? Has your love faded?", Newwiee kept on, pouring out all his bottled up feelings in the last few months.
Tay silently listened. He wanted to let Newwiee finish before he speaks his mind.
"Being in this kind of relationship, I am at a loss sometimes. I am afraid. Afraid that you lost your interest in me. That you don't love me like before.. Or that you might have grown tired of me. That's why.."
"That's why you slowly distanced yourself? You are letting me go first because you thought I would? Is that it?", Tay retorted.
New clenched his jaw, avoiding Tay's gaze.
Tay did the same thing. He is hurt knowing how Newwiee is thinking of letting go. He scoffs at the thought.
"I admit, I made a mistake for not telling you about what happened.", he then uttered, gazing sadly at his partner.
"I thought I was protecting you for doing so. It's my fault. But I swear, I don't have feelings for Joss or anyone else as I have for you. I never wanted someone else like I wanted you.. How could I get tired of you? There is only you in this world.", Tay uttered with sincerity but hurting.
Newwiee was about to speak when they saw some doctors and nurses rushing towards the direction where they came from.
They automatically followed them to check what is happening. Both were anxious and panting as they reached Gun's room. They saw Off being guided by one of the nurses out of the ICU, looking pale and trembling. Newwiee hurriedly walks towards his brother.
"What happened, P'?!", New asked.
Off looked at him with a confused expression.
"Gun... He..", the lad struggles to go on, his heart is beating fast.
Before Off could speak further, they heard one of the doctors exclaimed.
"He is coming back!"