The entire house is sunk into the dead silence and gloom. I am lying on the bed supine, gazing at the ceiling, analyzing my emotions and what I did to Nandini. Today I actually became an animal. A heartless, emotionless beast who can even hurt and devour its loved ones. I close my eyes. Nandini's innocent, love-drenched eyes are haunting me. The moment she left; her eyes were still searching for her answer. Why? Why she couldn't feel my love today?
"Because I didn't make love to you today. I took revenge. I just poured my vengeance and wrath upon your body. I became an animal...just like your brother and grandfather...."
My mind screams followed by mine.
"Ahhhhhh.......I hate you all. But I hate myself more. I just destroyed your trust and love."
I yell at myself and sit squarely on my bed with a jerk. My mind is about to explode. Unmindfully, I grab the photo-frame of mine which is kept on the side table and hurl it to the opposite wall. It gets smashed in zillion pieces, just like my Nandini's heart. I am panting like a hound who can't do anything but growling in its bound. I fist my hair.
"How could I? How could I rape her like a slut?"
I sound like a lost soul who don't even know his existence.
"Very convenient lamentation. Though you did all these in your full sense. You considered her a slut and you treated her in the same way."
My inner self scoffs.
"No, no, no....she is not....she is not..."
I wail at him while leaping out from my bed. I slip in my tee while already wearing my jeans and come out of the house like a bull. This place is now suffocating me like an abyss. It's around 11 pm. As this house is isolated from the main city the surrounding is quiet and dark. Only the streetlights are illuminating the bleak read. I start walking on it like an aimless lurching ship. Can this placidity pacify my restless heart? I keep on walking like a lost soul until my conscience gets halted by some unknown figures and words,
"Hey, Hero! Give your all things to us.... Quick."
I roam my eyes all around. 5-6 ruffian guys are around me, encircling like vultures. All faces are half-covered with cheap hankies. Two of them are holding wooden sticks and one is having a shining knife. It is evident that they are adamant to plunder on me.
"I don't have anything. Let me go."
I say composedly. One of them, probably the leader comes forward.
"All say this. Let me check you. If I get something you are gone."
He sounds intimidating but unfortunately failed to put an impact on my mind. Presently I am totally devoid of any kind of fear for myself. The person pats on my pockets. I am sure that he won't get anything there. Not even my house key. Because I just left without any burden. But suddenly his hand stops on my left back pocket. In the streetlight, I can see his flickering eyes. In the blink of an eye, he pulls out my wallet. I scrunch my eyes. Shit, I forgot that the jeans I am wearing is the same jeans which I wore in the office. And after coming home I didn't take it out because of Nandini's sudden visit. The hoodlum stirs it against my nose.
"What is this, Boss?"
His voice is raspy. I stretch my hand towards it and say in a composed tone.
"Look, I forgot about it. Take the money and give it back to me."
"Wo..wo...you are ordering me. But you are not in that position, Mr. Lemme check why are you being so possessive about this wallet? Any secret?"
He tries to open it.
"Give it to me. You only want the money...right?"
This time I sound resolute. My wallet has Nandini's pic and I don't want him to see it. As I scream at them a heavy hand hits my jawbone. I stumble back at the unanticipated attack.
"Ohoo...so this is the reason. You have a beautiful face in your wallet. Wow, she is sexy, Man."
In the meantime, he opens my wallet and despite my reluctance he gets her photo. His words are sleazy, and the tone is filthy. He licks his lips with sheer greed.
"Dare to utter a single word for her...or else..."
I hiss caressing my wounded jawbone.
"Or else? What will you do? You will hit us? Will snatch this picture? What? I will say...she is sexy...bombshell. How hot she will be in the bed. I just once want to fuck her, Man...just see her boobies..."
He disgustingly utters and tries to show the pic to his other mates. That is it for me. I spring on them like a thunderbolt and keep on moving my hands at a venture. Some hit their jaws and some chins, stomach and chest. However, it is not a movie where the hero can win over an entire gang, neither am I a black belt karateka. Within 5-6 minutes they grab me from all sides. One twists my hand behind and holds it in his iron grip. The leader fists my hair and jerks my head. Another sucker punches my lower abdomen. My breath hitches with sharp pain.
"you, Bloody...I will kill you. Thank your stars that your bitch is not with you. Otherwise, we will fuck her in front of you. And you won't be able to do any anything. I would have raped her like a slut."
His words stab my heart.
"They would have raped her like a slut just like me. Then what is the difference between them and me?"
I question myself.
"They are even better than you as they don't know her. But what about you?"
My inner God answers my words.
"Hit me...."
I mumble. The goons can't grok me.
"What?...."
The leader asks in confusion.
"I say....hit me...until I die...."
This time I yell.
"You are showing attitude to me. Wait...."
The main leader takes a wooden stick and in the next moment hits on my shoulder.
"Hit me....don't you have any strength?"
I rasp out. Again, he hits me but this time on my thigh. He keeps on hitting me indiscriminately. I just clench my jaws and bear the pain. Ironically it doesn't seem a pain to me. These are being received as a healer. Healer to my heart, healer to my soul. His heavy stick smacks the back of my knees and I kneel with a jerk. With gasping mouth and dropping eyes, I meet his orbs. Those have a diabolic look. The look which remains in the eyes of a predator when he gets ready to bounce on his prey for the last time. He forwards his hand to another guy and he hands over the knife to him. It shines like a guillotine in the streetlight. The man who is holding me from behind fists my hair and pulls them back so that my head can tilt backwards, and my oesophagus can be visible easily to slit. He is going to slay me like a butcher. A bitter smile appears in my lips.
"I have punished myself, Nandini."
I mutter in my mind and close my eyes to welcome my chosen death. However, nothing happens, and I hear a grievous scream mingled with a bullet shot. The hold on my hair also loosens. I open my eyes and see some police are encircling us. The goon leader is yelling with pain pressing his wounded hand as it is shot by the police, I guess. Within a minute all the goons get arrested and dumped to the police van. I forgot that as this area is deserted and isolated, police patrolling in this area is quite tight. One of the police comes to me and asks,
"Why were you roaming alone over here, Sir? Don't you know it could be risky? If something had happened, you would have blamed us only."
"Perhaps I wouldn't have been alive to blame you."
I mumble which the police officer can't notice.
"You have to come with us to launch the F.I.R against them."
He again says. I wobble in denial.
"But I don't want to."
I reply.
"What? They almost killed you."
He raises his voice with annoyance and surprise.
"I allowed them. Officer, I don't want any F.I.R and all. If you want, I can appear in the court for my witness but please, this time I can't go to the police station."
I say obstinately. After a lot of arguments and intimidation, they finally surrender in front of my stubbornness. I assure them about the witness in the charge sheet and eventually push my slouching body towards my home. I am bleeding from the corner of my lips. I am dragging my legs due to the pain. Still, there is tranquillity. My restless mind calms down a bit. The cool breeze is touching my burning skin. I inhale deeply and murmur,
"I punished myself, Nandini. But it doesn't less the sin of the Murthy's."
.........................................................
I tiredly sneak into my bungalow. I was supposed to come back before Bhai usually comes. But now it is around 10:30 pm. Bhai has definitely returned. But right now, I don't want to face him. In fact, I don't want to confront anybody right now. I don't feel like talking to anyone. I just want to go to bed and sleep. My body and mind are not at peace. The reason is of curse Manik's behaviour. Today he behaved so strangely. I had so many questions in my mind, but he didn't give any answer. But his eyes were telling something else. Those were full of pain, frustration and helplessness.
"You were so different today, Manik."
I utter in mind and reluctantly push the door of my room. I glance at Bhai's room. The door is closed. Maybe he is inside. With a sigh, I enter my room. Only then my eyes fall on the couch.
"So now you have to sneak in your own house. Why, Nandi?"
Bhai's words moor me on my place.
Author's note: The lines in Italic and bold are the thought of the characters. Other stories will be updated shortly.