-February 14th 1997-
Me,Joey and Chandler were walking towards the apartments when we Hear screaming coming from Monica's.Me,Joey and Chandler rush in and go into Monica's bedroom and Joey has a pan.Chandler has a tea kettle.
Phoebe:We’re all right.
Monica:It’s okay,it’s okay.
Phoebe:We’re all right.
Monica:We were just waxing our legs.
Chandler:Off?!.
Phoebe:For your information this happens to be a pain like no man will ever experience.
Chandler:Yeah well I don’t think you can make that statement unless you’ve been kicked in an area that God only meant to be treated nicely.
Joey:Yeah I-I think that women just have a lower threshold of pain than men that’s all. I mean come on it’s just a little wax.
Tabitha:Oh yeah come here.
I put a little wax on Joey’s arm and put a strip on it.
Chandler:Oh that’s mature.
Joey:Okay fine so now what I just pull it off?
Phoebe:Uhuh.
Monica:That’s right.
Joey laughs and pulls it off but then does a high pitched whine.
At that moment we hear the apartment door open.
Ross:Come on Rachel come on!.Talk to me!. Please!.
Chandler slowly closes the door and we hear Rachel from the living room.
Rachel:I can’t talk to you.I can’t even look at you right now!.
Monica:What?.
Chandler:Nothing,nothing.
Monica goes over to the door.
Monica:Rachel said everything was okay.
Phoebe:"To Joey".What,what are they talking about?.
Ross:Rachel?.
Rachel:Just get away from me!.
Ross:No it was a mistake!.I made a mistake!. Okay?.
Rachel:A mistake?!.What were you trying to put it in?.Her purse?!.
Phoebe:W-where did he put it?!.
Rachel:Ross you had sex with another woman!.
Me,Monica and Phoebe all gasp.
Monica:Oh my God.
Tabitha:My god.
Phoebe:Oh I knew something had to be wrong because my fingernails did not grow at all yesterday.
Chandler:Yeah well I guess they had a fight and he got drunk....
Monica:Oh!.
Monica hits Chandler and Joey in the head.
Monica:You guys knew about this and you didn’t tell us?!.
Chandler:"To Joey".He has sex and we get hit in our heads.
Rachel:You know what I want you to leave!. Get outta here!.
Ross:No.
Rachel:Just get out!.Now!.
Ross:No!,No!.I wanna stay.I wanna talk about this.
Rachel:Okay!,All right!,How was she?.
Chandler:Uh-oh.
Ross:What?.
Rachel:Was she good?.
Joey:Don’t answer that.
Rachel:Come on Ross!.You said you wanted to talk about it let’s talk about it!.How was she?.
Ross:She was...
Tabitha:Awful.
Joey:Horrible.
Chandler:She was not good.Not good.
Joey:She was nothing compared to you.
Ross:She,she was different.
Joey:Ew!.
Chandler:Uh-oh.
Rachel:Good different?.
Ross:Nobody likes change.
Ross:What?.Okay,okay,okay,okay.
Phoebe:Should we do something?.
Chandler:Yeah never cheat on Rachel.
Ross:I’m sorry okay I’m sorry.I w-I was disgusted with myself and this morning I was so I was so upset and then I got your message and I was so happy and all I wanted was to get her out of my apartment as fast as possible.
Rachel:Whoa,Whoa,whoa wait a minute. What time did your little friend leave?....Oh my God.She was there?.She was still there?. She was in there when I was in there?!.
Ross:Listen.Oh hey,hey the important thing was that she meant,she meant nothing to me!.
Rachel:And yet she was worth jeopardising our relationship!.
Something hits Monica’s door and we all jump back at the sound.
Ross:Look I didn’t think there was a relationship to jeopardise.I thought we were broken up.
Rachel:We were on a break!.
Ross:That for all I knew would could last forever.That to me is a break up.
Rachel:You think you’re gonna get out of this on a technicality?.
Ross:Look I’m not trying to get out of anything okay.I thought our relationship was dead!.
Rachel:Well you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!.
Joey:You know what I don’t think we should listen to this anymore.
Joey goes to open the door but Monica stops him.
Monica:What,what are you doing?.You can’t go out there.
Joey:Why not?!."To Tabitha".I’m hungry.
Monica:Because they’ll know we’ve been listening.
Rachel:God!.And to have to hear about it from Gunther!.
Ross:Come on!.Like I wanted him to tell you I ran all over the place trying to make sure that didn’t happen!.
Rachel:Oh that is so sweet.I think I’m falling in love with you all over again.
Chandler:You know what I think we can go out there.I mean they have more important things to worry about.
Joey:Yeah we’ll be fine.
Ross:Look Rachel I wanted to tell you I thought I should I-I did and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
Tabitha:"Glares".Joey we will be talking about this later.
Joey:O-okay.
Chandler:"Handing Monica the wax".Wax the door shut we’re never leaving ever.
*****************************************
Phoebe is on the phone and we are all still trapped in Monica’s bedroom.
Phoebe:"Into phone".Hi it’s Phoebe.Listen someone’s gonna have to take my 9:00 with Mr. Rehack cause it’s like 9:15 now and I’m not there.
Ross:Don’t you realise none of this would’ve ever happened if I didn’t think at that same moment you weren’t having sex with Mark?.
Rachel:All right.Let’s say I had slept with Mark.Would you have been able to forgive me?.
Ross:Yes I would.
Rachel:You’d be okay if you knew that Mark had kissed me and been naked with me and made love to me?.
Ross:Yes.
Rachel:You knew that our hot,sweaty, writhing bodies were...
Ross:La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!.Okay,okay yeah I would have been devastated but I would still want to be with you.Because it’s I mean it’s you.
Everyone:Oh.
Ross:What?.Come on Rach tell me what you’re thinking?.
Rachel:I’m thinking I’m gonna order a pizza.
Ross:Order a pizza like I forgive you?.
Joey:Oh man pizza?.I like pizza...Put olives on the pizza.
Phoebe:We could eat the wax!.It’s organic.
Chandler:Oh great food with hair on it.
Phoebe:No not the used wax.
Chandler:Because that would be crazy?.
Ross:Hey can I,can I get in on that?.Because I’m kinda hungry myself.
Rachel:Fine...Hi!.Yes I’d like to order a large pizza.
Ross:No anchovies.
Rachel:With ah extra anchovies.
Ross:That’s okay I’ll just pick em off.
Rachel:Yeah and could you please chop some up and just put it right there in the sauce?.
Ross:You can have the last piece if you want.
Rachel:Well I should think so.You slept with someone.
*****************************************
Everyone but me are all eating the wax. Chandler and Phoebe don’t like it and Joey tries some and makes a face like he enjoys it.
Phoebe:They’re gonna get through this aren’t they?.
Chandler:Yeah come on it’s Ross and Rachel they’ve got too.
Tabitha:What if they don’t?.
Joey:You think I need a new walk?.
Chandler:What?.
Joey:Well you know I’ve been walking the same way since high school.You know, you know how some guys they walk into a room and everybody takes notice.I think I need a take notice walk.
Chandler:Are you actually saying these words?.
Ross:What now you’re not even talking to me?...Look Rachel I-I’m sorry okay I’m sorry I was out of my mind.I thought I’d lost you I didn’t know what to do.Come on!, Come on how insane must I have been to do something like this?.Huh?.I-I don’t cheat right ithat’s not me.I’m not Joey before Tabitha!.
Joey:Whoa-ho-ho!
Joey looks to me and Chandler and we give him a "come on" look.
Joey:Yeah okay.
Monica:Hey.It’s three in the morning.They don’t know that I’ve come home yet.You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Phoebe:Yeah you know people can be so self-involved.
Ross:You know what,You know what I’-I’m not the one that wanted that,that break okay.You’re the one that bailed on us. You’re the one that,that ran when things got just a little rough!.
Rachel:That’s....
Ross:That’s what?!.
Rachel:That is neither here nor there.
Ross:Okay well here we are.Now we’re in a tough spot again Rach.What do you want to do?.How do you want to handle it?.Huh?.Do you wanna fight for us?.Or do you wanna bail?...Look I-I did a terrible stupid,stupid thing.Okay?.And I’m sorry I wish I could take it back but I can’t.
Me,Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.
Ross:I just can’t see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel I love you so much.
Rachel:No Ross!...Don’t!.You can’t just kiss me and think you’re gonna make it all go away okay?.It doesn’t work that way.It doesn’t just make it better.Okay?.
Ross:Okay,okay,okay.
Rachel:I think you should go.
Ross:What?.
Rachel:I really think you need to go now.
Ross:Okay,okay.This morning you said there was nothing so big that we couldn’t work past it together...
Rachel:Yeah what the hell did I know!.
Ross:Look,look there’s got to be a way we can work past this.Okay.I can’t imagine,I can’t imagine my life without you...Without, without these arms and your face and this heart.Your good heart Rach.And,and....
Rachel:No.I can’tyou’re a totally different person to me now.I used to think of you as somebody that would never ever hurt me ever.God and now I just can’t stop picturing with her I can’t.It doesn’t matter what you say or what you do Ross.It’s just changed everything.Forever.
We are all crying and Joey holds me and I put my head into his chest.
Ross:Yeah but this can’t be it I mean.
Rachel:Then how come it is?.
Some time passes and it's been very quiet.
Phoebe:They’ve been quiet for a long time.
Joey:Maybe she killed him?.
Chandler:Let’s go.
We go into the Living Room to see Rachel is sleeping on the couch and Ross is gone we all wave good bye and start to walk quietly out and Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel.I walk next to Joey as he starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.
Chandler:Is that your new walk?.
Joey:"Whispering".No I really have to pee.
Me and Joey walk to our apartment and he runs to the bathroom and a while later after he exists I stand right in front of him.
Tabitha:Your sleeping on the couch...Think about what you and Chandler did.
Joey nods and I hand him a blanket.