"Do it! Do it! Do it! Please!! Just to see what she does!" Noah laughs as her and Caroline push Colson towards the kitchen with encouragement.
Luna and Sam are sitting at the large table. Burning joints while talking about Luna's upcoming album and what she's trying to accomplish with it and her own lable. It's a drunken yet serious conversation. Colson walks up to them; placing himself on Luna's right side and perfectly in Noah's lens with his arms held up to the sky.
"Hi, Bunny." Luna coos as she wraps her arm around his waist and draws him closer to her while continuing her conversation; Colson doesn't respond, just stands there with his arms up.
"Rude." Sam comments as Noah silently records them.
Letting him go, Luna looks up at him inquisitively. "Do you feel alright?" She asks their secret question to his silent, smiling lips. Looking Colson up and down, she stands up on her chair. "Do we wanna high five?" She asks another question as she slams both hands into his solid palms with only a wider but refrained grin as his reaction. "Do we need love?" Luna tries something new, confused as she wraps her body around Colson like he's a tree. When she doesn't get his usual response of ass grabbing, she let's his body go and stands back up on the chair; studying him thoroughly. "Okay?" She sighs as she steps off. Pushing the chair aside, she dips down inside of the raggedy white sweater Colson has on, slipping her arms in with his as her head struggles to pop out slightly against his neck. "Hi!" She beams up at him with a tilted chin. "Do we live here now?" She asks innocently as she shares the sweater with Colson.
Unable to hold his composure any longer, Colson bursts out laughing as he wraps himself around Luna. "I fucking love you." He declares while engulfing her.
"I love you too but wait... What the fuck are you doing?" Luna's muffled voice asks from inside of him.
"It's for Tik Tok... " Noah laughs as she comes into the kitchen.
"What?" Luna asks again as she struggles to climb out of Colson and his clothes.
"Yo... How can you know EVERYTHING and nothing at all?" Noah looks at Luna with a questionable pause. "It's an app." She gently informs her.
"Have you NOT met Luna?" Sam snidely remarks.
"WHY... Because I don't like the falseness of The Internet." Luna scoffs as she finally frees herself.
"True." Noah acknowledges Luna's opinion with a shrug. "Can I post this though?" She asks, completely missing the point.
"What? Me being stuck inside Colson's sweater?" Luna asks in disbelief.
"Yeeeeah... It's a challenge thing where you were supposed to take it off of him but it was super fucking cute the way you guys did it." Noah tries to persuade her.
"Wait, what? Why the fuck would that make me wanna take off his sweater?" Luna asks in confused disgust.
"I don't know... Because that's what babies do, I guess? It's just a thing." Noah shrugs again nonchalantly. "So, can I post it?" She grins at them with excitement as she rewatches the video with Caroline and Phem, even the green haired girl can't help but giggle at the couple along with her friends.
Luna sighs and looks at Colson who gives her a slight nod. "Okay... Whatever you guys want." She shakes her head as she catches Sam's disapproving eye while grabbing a cigarette.
Noah posts it immediately. The video goes viral overnight; hitting almost 53M views. People love their celebrity couples; plus Colson and Luna ARE kind of adorable.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Luna and Colson are both shit fuck wasted by time they finally get to his bedroom. Stumbling around, neither can keep their balance. After drunkenly sliding off the bed, Luna finally gives into gravity and agrees to take her pants off on the floor.
"It works... " She tries to convince Colson who's still struggling in the air.
After a million, high kneed, soldier steps he finally topples over onto her. Falling into her lap as they both giggle like idiots. Colson rests himself heavily against her propped up body as she strokes his cheek. Dizzy and fucked up, their emotions ring louder than ever.
"I love you." Luna smiles down at him.
"I loveLOVE you." Colson grins as he climbs up her body, kissing her on his way up as his weight knocks her unsteady self backwards.
"What'd ya doooo?" Luna laughs from the floor as Colson continues to kiss and crawl all over her.
"I just wanna be on you." He mummers into her neck as he slips his arm around her waist and settles into her body.
"Aww, Bunny." She purrs as she snuggles into his warmth.
The two of them are so drunk that they fall asleep on the floor. Half clothed. Happily wrapped inside each other.
-------------------------------------------------------
"How do we always end up on the floor?" Colson groans the next morning as he shifts uncomfortably.
"Because we're fucking animals." Luna yawns as she stretches out.
"I'll show you a fucking animal." Colson husks as he pulls her up to straddle him by her panties. "I like these... They're different from your regular black." He observes of the cheetah print, making his dick grow at the memory of her now infamous coat in the strip club on his birthday.
"Mmm... That's because I'm an animal, Baby... " Luna growls as she grinds against him and kisses his mouth.
Moving her lips to his jaw, they trail with her tongue down to his throat. Kissing it, she sucks on his neck before slightly biting him. Colson pops his head up immediately. Catching Luna's eyes as she gazes up towards him tantalizingly. Her mouth consuming his body as it seeks it's way down below.
Luna hums into Colson's mound of short pubes. Making him twitch and her grin. Slipping her tongue around his base, she teases him as she hums the chords to Fools Rush In while she sucks his cock. Full and steady. Slurping as her tongue glides from his balls to his tip. Ass perking in the air as he enjoys the back of her throat. His left leg tightening and slightly spazzing out as always when he cums. Luna lifts up, rolling her tongue up his shaft in a full circle around to his head again. Wicked smile crossing her dirty face as she licks her lips and swallows his children.
"YOU are a fucking animal." Colson lightly chuckles as he enjoys the sense of euphoria flowing through him.
"The filthiest." Luna smirks as she licks her lips again and climbs up to his mouth.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Luna and Colson shower with him finally banging her out. The water rains down upon them as they enjoy each other. Colson has Luna bent over to her and his pleasure, fucking her like an animal. It's their morning theme.
"FUUUUUCK... " Is all he can think as he grabs her hips and thrusts into her; mind swirling while he cums again. This time deep inside of her warm pussy.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Luna and Colson dress and do drugs... Like A Lot. As always. She's way passed 180mgs of Percs and pushing while he's still on his own dangerous tip of Adderall and bumping off of her also. Today, Luna snorts a straight line of 90mg percocets and swallows two 30 XRs for good measure. Colson bumps his own three XRs as usual from the gate and two 30s from Luna. Which seems to have become a common occurrence since they were On Tour; his foot and back pain being her excepting excuse. Luna is incredibly smart but she is also a dumbass bitch sometimes.
Sitting on the bed dressed in a leather top and jean shorts, she studies him. Hands on her hips, her mind drifts to a place no one wants to be. No one at all.
"This is bad... I shouldn't be hitting three at a time... And I don't think he should be hitting 'em at all." Luna worries to herself as Colson snorts his own rows of drugs.
"Oh... We gotta do a Hot Ones today too, Kitten." Colson informs her as he comes up from his own rails.
"A what?" She asks again within a 12hr time span, the words seemingly wanting to become the most common question of her life.
"Don't worry... You'll love it. It's got hot wings." He tries to convince as they head downstairs. "Yo!! We OUT!" He shouts through the slightly moving house as he grabs her hand.
Glancing over her shoulder, their fish's bowl catches her eye. "Do we need to feed Hades and Persephone?" She tries to ask as he pulls her out the door.
"Nah, Jillian's got 'em. Just get in." He reassures her as he opens her door to his Range Rover.
"Okay... " She agrees, thanking him with a kiss to the cheek as she slips in before he pushes her door shut and she leans over to pop his open for him.
"I fucking love you." He grins at the old movie's lesson as he gets in and grabs Luna's jaw for a loving but firm kiss before pulling off.
"Ugh... This MAN." Luna thinks as her heart pounds and intoxicated brain swirls from Colson's touch.
-------------------------------------------------------
"Hi, guys!!" Brittany opens the large front door with a huge smile.
"Hey!" Colson greets her with a kiss to the cheek.
"What's up, you fucking Asshole." Luna gives her a SideEye as she warmly hugs Brittany.
"What I do?" She asks as they pull away.
"LUNATIC!!" Tommy shouts as he barrels in and tosses Luna about before letting her go.
"Hi." She can't answer without giggling. "You're a fucking maniac." Luna declares with a laugh once he sets her down.
"Yes, yes I am... And a degenerate too!" Tommy laughs loudly.
"Who said degenerate?" Colson asks throwing his arms around Luna and Tommy.
"I still wanna know why I'm an Asshole." Brittany interrupts them.
"Because man... I told you NO on this shit like a million times and then you got me drinking and on the dance floor and now look at where I'm at!" Luna throws Colson and Tommy off of her as she tosses her arms in the air laughing as she gives Brittany a playful yet slightly annoyed half smile.
"Oooohhhhh, STOP!!! It's gonna be so fucking FUN!!" Brittany explodes with happiness. "Come on, let's get you a beer and set up." She brushes off Luna's complaints as she grabs her hand.
"This is a joint venture, MOTHERFUCKER!!" Luna hollers back at Colson as Brittany drags her away. "And don't forget I didn't wanna do this!!" She warns both him and Tommy.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"Ladies and Germs, it's your girl Brittany and we're here for another episode of Worst Firsts. I've got a show for you today that is FREAKING bananas... My husband, the Rockstar, the stud... Tommy Lee is with us. Along with Tommy Lee 2.0, Machine Gun Kelly. He plays my husband in The Dirt on Netflix and if you haven't seen it... You're missing out. We're doing something we've never done before and have his girlfriend, THAT eeeelusive Brooklyn Bitch with us for a couple's episode so it should be interesting to say the least." Brittany opens up The Show.
"Like a pile up on The 405... We all love car crash, right." Luna deadpans as she cuts in. "But definitely check out The Dirt, Mr. Baker over here is hot AS FUUUCK... And he just dropped a new album Hotel Diablo so check that bitch out too." Luna sucks her teeth and grins at him like she's his pimp.
"I fucking love you." Colson laughs at her with a wide grin as he rolls his eyes.
"Awww... listen to the couple's banter between these two. Now, you guys haven't been together that long... " Brittany tries to lead them into an interview.
"No... No... No... No... " Luna stops her. "You know how long we've been together. Don't try to play me. We're here to embarrass the fuck out of ourselves with our friends... Not give you celebrity gossip. Fool." Luna juts her chin out at Brittany with a hard EyeBall and playful smirk.
"I love her but what the FUUUUUCK." Luna tries not to become anymore annoyed than she already is. She hates interviews of any kind.
"You're right... Alright, lay it on me... Worst First anything. Drugs, sex, school, shitting yourself... Anything." Brittany continues finally starting the actual podcast.
"Oooohhhhh God, don't talk about shitting yourself." Colson groans.
"Wait you shat yourself?? Was it OnStage?" Tommy bellows with laughter.
"I mean you know how it is, Man. Warp Tour in the summer, going on at 1P... That never no good." Colson trails off.
"So did you shit yourself?" Brittany asks intently.
This leads to a 20min discussion on Colson and Tommy's bowl movements On Tour. The conversation naturally flowing into a little antidote regarding Colson's first time trying anal and how he wound up with a turd in his schoolbag. Luna is quietly sipping her beer as she observes the scene she's found herself stuck in.
"Gimme some anal, Loons." Brittany challenges her friend, leading The Boys to giggle like little kids from her choice of words.
"Oh my... FUCK... Are we really doing this?" She slightly pouts to the small room of well known grinning faces.
"Loons don't do anal." Colson puts in his two sense.
"For a reason." Luna cuts back coyly.
"REEEALLLY??" Colson presses her with an amused smile.
"Oooohhhhh shit, Brit... I think we got some tea!" Tommy nudges his silent wife.
"Yeah, Luna. Spill the tea." Colson studies her with a teasing and interested tone.
"Fine." Luna shrugs. "I too was wasted, horny, on my period... And had never tried anal before but was like Fuck It... We live on the edge. No." Luna stops and shakes her head vigorously. "No, we do not live that far out on the edge. We do not. Like you guys were saying before, when you're young or have never done it before or are just stupid and drunk... You don't know how to prep your tiny, little asshole for this new adventure with major things like LUBE." Luna shudders as Tommy cracks up at her adamant mannerisms. "I can't fucking believe I'm about to say this... Ugh... " Luna closes her eyes before continuing. "I think he got MAYBE a millimeter in before I jumped out the bed and ran out of our bedroom crying because... UGH!" Luna pouts as her eyes grow wide and she recounts the moment. "It hurt so fucking bad that I was convinced that he had not only destroyed my insides but that my butthole would never be the same again. I thought I was dying through the ass end. I was LITERALLY so traumatized that I slept in our bathtub WITH the door locked." Luna closes her eyes as she painfully chuckles at the experience and memory of her life with Justin. "So... You... You can definitely keep your mammoth poop cock away from me." Luna snarks at Colson as he bursts out laughing with Tommy and Brittany.
"You ran away from the dick!?!" Tommy bellows.
"I fucking RAN AND HID from That Butt Dick. I don't even care either. I can't do it. I don't like it. I don't want it." Luna declares as Tommy and Colson howl at her.
"Not even the little one?" Colson wiggles his pinky in the air.
"Fuck you. We will NEVER have sex again." Luna threatens with terrorized eyes and a chuckle.
"That one was good but I know you got some stories, Loons. Don't hold out on me. Gimme something NO ONE ELSE can ever compare to." Brittany slightly antagonizes Luna to Tommy and Colson's amusement.
"Alright... You want an original Worst First? How about the time I met The President?" Luna sighs, between the prescription drugs and three beers she's got a solid buzz.
"You met fucking TRUMP!?" Colson scowls at her in disgust.
"Oh, this has gotta be good." Brittany cuts in.
"Noooooo... Fuck. What? No. Obama. Who even are you right now and do you know me?" Luna cocks her eye at her future husband to his slight snort.
"This gonna be REAL fucking good." Tommy agrees with his wife as he leans in.
"You guys know my grandmom and how politically active she is or whatever... So a few years ago, she bought tickets to a charity dinner that was hosted at The White House. We go and it's lovely. Like, I don't know if you appreciate the parts of American history that can be stomached but for what it's worth, The White House is gorgeous. So anyway, my MomMom's talking to The Obama's and waves me over. Okay, cool. I know how to handle Life, right?" Luna jokes before looking over at her friend. "You'll appreciate this, Brit... I had on a beautiful, red custom Mcqueen with sliver, six inch heels. A bitch was hitten'."
"Yeah you were!" Brittany agrees.
"Riiight... Now, you guys know me... I can dance, run, fight, fuck... " She glances at Colson with a playful smile as her hands talk with her. "I can do ANYTHING in a pair of heels. Not this night. As I go to gracefully walk across the dining room, I fucking SLIP. Not only do I slip but I don't fall backwards.. So as I go down, I reach out in front of me to grab on to the closest thing to save me. What do you think I grab?" She looks around to their on edge silence. "Only the motherfucking President of the United States of America!!" Luna shouts as all three of them gasp. "Mmmhmmm." Luna nods her head. "It gets better or worse... Whatever this fucking show is. Not only do I pull the greatest president I'VE ever known down onto the dirty floor with me but my face... And this is it." Luna stops and throws her hands up before hiding inside Colson's shoulder for a moment as they all encourage her to continue. Luna looks up and sighs with her eyes closed before finishing the story. "My fucking face lands directly in his crotch!! Yup. There's me, in ONE OF A KIND, CUSTOM COUTURE on The White House's floor with my head in The President's dick. My grandmother couldn't have been prouder... " Luna lightly chuckles as she shakes her head in embarrassment and her hands continue to fly. "Oh... And to make it more perfect or even worse... I don't fucking know... Guess what I slipped on." Luna slightly whines with a light giggle as she lifts her black painted index finger up.
"Fuck, I don't know... What?" Colson asks, slightly fearful for her while Tommy and Brittany await her answer.
"FUCKING cocktail sauce." Luna states in a monotone.
"Oh. My. God." Brittany utters as her hands cover her mouth and laughter.
"Yooooo!!" That's one of the best things I've ever heard!" Tommy cackles.
Colson can't catch his breath he's laughing so hard; finally composing himself, he looks at her. "So you're sayen' you got some pull down there then, right?" He snarks, making Brittany and Tommy erupt into laughter again.
"I fucking hate you guys. Gimme another fucking beer." Luna complains as she continues to shake her head. "You know what... You want a Worst First? I'll give you two in one shot." Luna taunts them as she swigs her fresh beer. "You might want the option to edit this one out though, Tommy." Luna cocks him a SideEye.
"Awww... Fuck. Whatever it is, I swear it wasn't my fault." He throws his hands up in the air in his defense as he laughs loudly.
"I can't wait to hear this one... " Colson smirks as he tries to keep a straight face and leans forward with his arms crossed.
"Storytime!" Luna hums with a devilish little grin. "So... Do you remember that time you and Pam had me babysit? Fuck, I was young as shit... Only 14... Maybe 15yrs old at the time so Brandon had to be around like 9/10yrs old and Dylan, what? Anywhere between 7/9yrs old, right?" Luna asks.
"Yeah... Something like that." Tommy agrees with a leery uncertainty.
"Don't look at me like that... I warned you and you Fuckers asked for this shit." Luna shakes her painted index finger at him.
"Go on... " He encourages her with a weird testiness to his voice Luna's never heard before.
"Fine. It goes like this. My grandma calls me asking me to babysit for Tommy and Pam. I don't really do kids... It's a miracle Colson's daughter rocks with me the way she does... Anyway, this is my FIRST time babysitting and it's cool. I know The Boys, they're awesome and sweet. We hang out, swim, play video games, eat... Do whatever. Finally it comes around time to chill." Luna looks around as Colson, Brittany and Tommy are intently listening to her. "So... we pop on some Disney movie... I think it was The Emperor's New Groove... " Luna pauses for a second as she tries to fully remember the experience. "Anyway, Dyl falls asleep but Brando's still kinda chilling and watching. Well, I decide to go look for some ice cream for us. I find it... I ALSO find a gallon sized ziplock bag FILLED with joints! Now, be like 15yrs old with me for a minute... Are you NOT gonna be pumped over a bag of rolled up fucking weed!?!" Luna asks intensely.
"FUCK yeah!! I'd say it turned into the best babysitting job EVER after that!" Colson exclaims.
"You'd think." Luna deadpans as she looks into Tommy's inquisitive face, he thinks he remembers this but he's not sure. "So, I hook Brando up with some ice cream and I go out on the back deck to burn. It's like 8Pish... I'm already a stoner, these are functional human beings, not babies... We should be good... And we are. I smoke one of the joints out back, I'm chillen' watching the trees dance, which I think is weird but not too weird so I'm still grooving. Then Brandon comes out and he's looks a little funny but I figure it's whatever and I'm just baked... Anyway, he's like Hey Loons, movie stopped, Dyl's up can you come back in? Of course, definitely, Buddy... Good thing he walked in first and shut the door because as soon as I stood up I felt like Wendy from Peter Pan and my body WAS NOT ON THE GROUND ANYMORE." Luna is adamantly expressing her story with her hands again.
"Where did you... What did you?" Brittany asks with a horrified tone.
"Dude. I don't know. All I remember is grabbing the chair I was sitting on and using it as a weight to keep myself from floating away while I strategically drug it and myself to the door because I was absolutely SURE I was going to fly away. I remember coming into the house, gripping the wall like an FBI agent... And everything was cool again until I had no more wall." Luna continues with her story with wide eyes as she remembers the feelings of uncertainty.
"What did you do then?" Brittany asks, fully engaged.
"The only thing I could think to do... I crawled over to them while holding onto the fibers of the carpet to keep me on the ground and made Brandon go get us some sheets so I could make a shield to not fly away from them!!" Luna exclaims.
"What the fuck were you on?" Colson asks in shock and disbelief.
"Holy FUCK, I remember that night." Tommy admits with his voice lower than usual. "You guys had the whole living room turned into a crazy ass fort... " He says in amazement as he thinks back. "You know what that was, LunaTic?" He asks her with wide eyes.
"ANGEL DUST." They state in unison, yet different tones; Tommy's amazed and shocked while Luna's is clearly unamused.
"Holy shit!" Colson comments as he connects the dots.
Brittany loses her mind. "Wait, the first time you ever babysat was the first time you ACCIDENTLY did PCP?" She asks as her jaw drops and she stares at Luna.
"Yeup." Luna shrugs. "You wanted a Worst First. In my defense though, who the FUUUUUCK has a gallon bag of dippers in their freezer, the kids were fine and... THAT'S your husband, Boo. Just don't ever let Pam fucking hear this, she'll probably kill us both." Luna snickers as she warns Tommy.
"Yeah, that one's going in the archives!" Tommy bellows. "I can't fucking believe you never told me this!" The bass in his laughter hitting hard again. "Does Brando know?" He asks.
"Yeah... We talked about it a few years ago when we ran into each other during Fashion Week. He knew, Dude... Came right up to me and was like... Now that we're older, what the FUCK was up with you?" Luna laughs at the memory.
"Corrupting the youth and shit." Colson snickers at her.
"Shit... Talk your Homie! I was still the youth at that point... Well, kinda." Luna laughs.
"Damn... Do we really have to pull that, Babe?" Brittany asks Tommy. "THAT was like, the most epic Worst First EVER. It's a twofer and it's got YOOOU... " She trails off as she tries to convince him with kisses.
"Yeah... And am underage Luna watching my kids on drugs. Let's just put a pause on that one till I talk to Pam." He tries to ease his wife, knowing that she hates that name.
Colson goes on to share the first time he was ever stuck in an elevator during an earthquake with Diddy in Vegas. Luna telling the story of the first time she rode her bike in the rain and how it had slipped out from underneath of her during a sharp turn. Dropping the searing tailpipe onto her bare calf. It had hurt like a motherfucker. Neither story is as good as crotch planting Obama, Colson's poop schoolbag or simultaneously getting high on something you think is something else while babysitting for the first time. They round the podcast out with plugs for The Dirt and Hotel Diablo. Brittany and Tommy both thanking them for coming on.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"Yooooo... I remember that night and that bag." Tommy confides in Luna as he tosses a huge arm around her. "You took more than one, didn't you?" He eyes her with slight suspicion.
"Fuck yeah I did, there were like a hundred... It was for science. I had to figure out what the fuck I had been on and that took some trial and error with multiple different opinions." She laughs out her answer.
"Duuuuude... Brit's gonna want that and I don't know if we can use it." He says with a mix of amusement and concern.
"Should I not have told?" She asks as she looks up at the man she's known for decades.
"Noooooo, no. It was hilarious. I can't wait to get you and Brando together and talk about that shit!" He laughs. "You know how Pammy can manipulate their thoughts and memories though... " He trails off.
"My legit advice? If you wanna use it, let The Boys listen first because it's about them. If they have no problem then fuck Pam. What's she gonna do? Take away your visitation?" Luna tilts her chin towards him as she gives him a sarcastic look.
"You're right... " He sighs. "Great fucking story." He grins as he squeezes her by the shoulder, with the amount of Percocets in her she doesn't feel a thing.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Luna and Colson share a couple more beers with Tommy and Brittany. Shooting the shit, talking about the new couple's impending numptials and everyone's upcoming trip to Cleveland for ESTFest. Brittany can't wait for the ceremony and Luna's dresses while Tommy gets a little teary eyed over the two young punk's love. He really is a huge softie when it comes to romance.
The couple's exchange their GoodByes. Brittany expressing with overwhelming giddiness how by the next time they're together again Colson and Luna will probably be married. Tommy taking a moment to advise his young friend to cherish it, unlike he did. They both wave from their driveway as Luna and Colson pull off.
-------------------------------------------------------
"That was fun, yeah?" Colson asks Luna as he strokes her smooth, tattooed thigh.
"Sure, telling The Internet how you accidently Monica Lewinsky'd yourself in front of hundreds of people is always a good time." Luna scoffs as she lights them a joint.
"I love your description of shit." Colson chuckles as she passes the bone to him and they head to their next Internet Thang.
-------------------------------------------------------
Colson and Luna pull up to The Chateau Marmont. Colson steps out first, handing his keys to the valet. As another man approaches Luna's door he puts his hand up to stop him. Walking around, he'd rather open His Girl's door himself. Slipping out of the SUV, the somewhat notorious couple manages to walk inside, hand in hand without being bothered.
"Why are we here?" A slightly drunk and totally confused Luna asks.
"They usually film in NY, out here they book where we want. Ash or Jackie must've chose The Chateau... I'm not sure who booked this one." He shrugs out his answers as he leads her to room 29.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Inside the room looks nothing like the hotel Luna's used to. Everything is draped in black sheets. It actually makes the tragic landmark a bit more gloomier, which Luna didn't think was possible.
"Hey, Colson! How are you?" Sean the host greets him. "This must be Luna, it's such a pleasure." He grins as he stretches his arm out.
"Thank you for having us." Luna accepts his hand warmly, still not knowing what the fuck Colson has gotten her into; all she knows is that there's supposed to be wings and she's starving.
"We're all set up. Make yourselves comfortable and we'll start in 10... Sound good?" Sean confirms to Colson's nod and Luna's look of uncertainty; this is Colson's third time, Luna's never have I ever.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"Welcome to Hot Ones, Everybody!" Sean greets the camera. "We've got a special couple's edition here today with some self proclaimed Bad Things. I'm talking with Machine Gun Kelly and if you don't mind my saying so, his STUNNING girlfriend THAT Brooklyn Bitch. They're both ruling the charts with their hit single Bad Things along with other collaborations like I Think I'm Okay and Nightmare." Sean now turns to them directly. "Guys, I've gotta admit, I've seen the music video, caught your performances on SNL, Ellen and GMA... Not a stalker but I might've also peeped a couple hot Insta pics and stories of you two... I have to say, they do not do justice to the amount of tattoos and bad assery, I don't know if that's a word but I'm making it one... That comes along with the two of you in person. Just looking at the you, I wanna peirce my nose, buy a fender and find a hardcore chick to rule The World with!" He laughs nervously as Luna gives him an weird look; in her drunken mind, he's an odd, little man.
"Do it! Live the dream, my Dude!" Colson encourages him with a chuckle.
"Don't tempt me, I just might." Sean wishes. "Okay, so lemme give Brooklyn a little insight... We've got ten wings. Ten types of hot sauce raising in intensity with each wing... And one question to go with each wing and sauce." The host explains.
"Wait, what?" There's that magic sentence again as Luna hears how each wing is contingent upon a question. "You told me hot wings... You didn't say anything about questions." Luna raises her eyebrows at Colson.
"Ten wings. Ten questions. Come on, we got this, Kitten." Colson sinks a firm kiss onto Luna's cheek.
"Not the way you eat fucking wings." Luna lowly snarks for only Colson to hear with an obviously unamused tone; she doesn't like to be blindsided.
"Okay, Round One... One wing, one hot sauce, one question. Beware they get hotter as we go. Don't worry though, we've got your water and your milk that you can refill at anytime." Sean begins to start them off.
"Hold on... Wait. What? What is milk and water? Are you... Are you children?" Luna slightly stutters in disgust. "If I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna enjoy it. Fuck this ballsack shit, lemme get a beer. Please." Luna asserts while finding herself asking the same stupid fucking question AGAIN as she tries to reel herself in.
"Fucking MILK??? Who the FUUUUUCK... Ugh... Shut up, Loons. Get your beer, eat your chicken, let Colson answer whatever questions and roll on." She tries to calm down and mentally prepare herself for who knows what besides chicken and beer. "They are REALLY trying to ruin two of my favorite things though." Luna can't help but still complain to herself, thinking of how much she HATES interviews.
**********************************
Colson can't help but laugh at her. He knew today was gonna take a lot of patience and persuading, considering Luna's great love for interviews and all things The Internet. He's surprised she's held up this well so far. "SHIT!! I hope either Ash or Jackie screened these FUCKING questions." Colson's heart suddenly begins to panic.
"Heineken, please." The sound of Luna's voice breaks Colson's thoughts as he focuses on the secretive smile on her face.
"Alright, Penny Lane." He teases her as her squeezes her thigh and tries to drop a kiss on her lips.
"Unh Unh... Luna Smith, motherfucker." She declares with a slur as she ducks just out of his reach; reminding him of the first time he tried to kiss her.
Giving him a playful eye, she let's him pull her into his lap. Luna runs her fingertips along Colson's jawline as he dips his tongue inside of her willing mouth, lightly dancing together until he breaks away to only hold her by the lips; hands firm upon her ass as always. There's a sweet, sensualness to them as love and other emotions rush between their beings by just their kiss on the lips. Colson wraps his arms around Luna, both sighing upon his release as they rest forehead to forehead. Intimate words are exchanged between the two of them until Sean interrupts them after grabbing Luna a few beers. EVERYTHING being caught by the cameras. Slightly intoxicated, Luna doesn't even think to be aware of them like a fucking dumbass.
"Alright... Round One... Now complete with water, milk and beer." Sean rubs his hands together with a chuckle.
"Thank you." Luna lifts her beer graciously to his smiling nod.
"Starting us off, we've got Hot One's classic sauce. It's our garlic fresno edition so critique away." He suggests as they all bite into a leg.
Colson takes one bite. Luna's eating the fuck out of her chicken wing as always. Then dude starts asking questions and ruins everything.
"You two are getting married in like two weeks so I'm assuming you live together... How do you guys typically start your day off?" He is easily the most awkward interviewer Luna has ever encountered.
"We do." Colson answers after he swallows his bite; looking over at Luna whose still munching away, her chicken filled nod agrees with him for the moment. "We usually start the day by fucking and getting stoned. One or the other or both together. It don't matter which order as long as their together. Back to back. Fucking and stoning. Stoning and fucking." Colson clarifies himself as Luna almost snorts her beer and Sean tries to compose himself.
"I fucking love him." Luna's soul shines for Colson.
"Round Two... This is a shawarma sauce by Dawson's. Little spicier but not much." The host leads.
Colson takes one bite as expected. Luna's chilling. Eating fucking chicken. She can't talk if she has a mouth full of chicken.
"You've got this new album out, Hotel Diablo... What would you say is the most personal song on it?" Sean asks as he takes a sip of his milk.
"Glass House." Colson answers lowly; Luna hands him her beer, only slightly happy her mouth is preoccupied by delicious meat.
"Next we got Goat Rider by Angry Goat Company... " Sean begins to describe the next sauce.
"They should call Em that... " Luna says lowly as she looks up at Colson and tries to contain herself; his smirk only encourages her. "Because he's the angriest little GOAT of them all." She says in a tiny, childlike voice; it's Colson's fault she couldn't help herself as she dips her face into his chest to hide her giggles; he's just as bad as he covers her head and his own laughter with his arm crooked around her.
"God Damn, I fucking love her." Colson's heart glows with amusement from his Kitten's sense of humor.
"Hey... Hey... Hey... No secret conversations. Hot wings and questions." The host tries to redirect them.
"Alright, super chicken man." Luna announces as she comes out of her hiding spot. "What's next?" She asks as she grabs her third wing and chomps into it.
"Are you guys REALLY getting married at ESTFest?" He asks as Colson almost chokes on his chicken.
"Need some milk?" Luna asks sarcastically with a full mouth.
"Fuck you." Colson coughs out as he sips the milk. Luna almost chokes on her own chicken as she laughs at him. "See, that's what you get. Asshole." He calls her out after handing her, her beer and making sure she'll live.
"So ESTFest... ?" Sean goes on to remind them.
"Yeah... " Colson nods after he collects himself also. "During ModSun's set."
"What?" Luna asks Sean directly when he won't stop looking at her for an answer. "You see the ring." Luna wiggles her sparkling left fingers in the air. "ACTUALLY... I got two." She grins like a spoiled little girl as she extends her right hand out. "THIS one is my favorite... " Luna declares as she admires it herself before she leans back against Colson, staring up at him with THAT One Look as she plays with one of her most prized possession.
"Is that a guitar string?" Sean asks with pure wonder.
"Is that the fourth question?" Luna asks with a teasing charm as she holds her hands together towards her chest, just underneath her chin.
"I like that you play hard ball." Sean chuckles nervously as he wags his finger at her, not wanting to let this question go. "I'll trade it in for Round Four's question as long as it's a two part answer." He bargains.
"Mmmm... Nope. Two questions. Two answers. Two chickens." Luna's unwilling to budge.
"Fine... Is it a guitar string?" He asks again with a tinge of disappointment but still wanting to know.
"Yes." Luna nods her head proudly as she answers and presents her hand back towards him again so he can fully study the work of love.
"Wow. That's really neat the way the wire is twisted around to reinforce itself." He observes in admiration. "Where did it come from? EXACTLY." He reframes the question.
"We were On Tour in Pittsburgh and Colson sporadically proposed to me in his dressing room after The Show. He made it with one of the strings off the guitar he'd used that night within like 20mins." Luna sweetly admits as she thinks back to those private moments.
"I just wanna say, for the record, One... The guitar that string came off of goes everywhere with me now. Has ever since... Actually I don't think I've used another electric since that night." Colson looks over at Luna, who shakes her head to agree with him that he hasn't. "And Two... I had that rock for a few weeks but my dumbass left it behind when we hit The Road." Colson points out.
"Annnnnnnnd I love them both." Luna coos as she pecks Colson on the side of the mouth. "Now can I see why this goat is so angry?" She asks as she shoots him a grin and grabs her chicken leg.
"Alright, where are we at?" The host struggles to regain control of his show.
"We're at you owe me another hot wing because we gave you two answers." Luna reminds him of their deal as she splashes the sauce from the next bottle in line on her fifth tiny drumstick. "You want any?" She asks Colson as she reaches over.
"Ahhh... Just a bit." He groans.
"You know Imma tell Slim all about this later tonight, right?" She chortles at him lightly.
"I fucking hate you." Colson chuckles at a munching ass Luna while he reaches for her beer.
"So... Round Six?" Sean asks as he weakly throws his hands up. "We've got Scorpion from the Heartbeat Hot Sauce Co. Now we're climbing up the ladder guys but Brooklyn, you've eaten all of each of your wings. The only other person to do this is Shia Labeouf. Think you can you keep up?" He asks her as if it's a test.
"This motherfucker is DUMB." Colson snickers to himself at the idea of anyone challenging Luna.
"Hold up, I have some questions. First off... What do you mean only one other person has eaten all their wings? What the fuck do they do with 'em?" She asks, feeling kinda offended by the lack of chicken respect on this Internet Thang that Colson has her involved in.
"Most guests usually take a small bite of each wing." He explains to Luna's look of horror.
"Why did you ask me if I can keep up? Did you run out of chicken and beer?" She genuinely asks around the sexist insult to his head shake.
"She's such a fucking bitch." Colson thinks in amusement as he watches Luna. She is his favorite person in The World, especially when it comes to her level of IDGAF.
"Okay then, let's eat and answer questions." Sean simply requests as he takes a healthy bite. "What's the craziest thing you two have done together?" He asks once he's swallowed.
Colson takes a drink from the beer he's now sharing with Luna, mentally refusing to sip anything else after she made fun of him. His insides are dying. Luna's having the time of her life like she's the Abba Queen of hot wings as she wipes her mouth after fucking up her latest victim. Both of them are on totally different waves lengths but when their eyes meet for the question anything drops away and everything makes sense.
"The craziest thing I've ever done with Luna is fall in love with her almost 10yrs ago simply by her presence and smile." Colson grins as he looks down for a moment. "I think I might've even described it once as a cosmic boner." Colson lightly laughs to himself as he looks up into Luna's welling eyes and they lightly giggle together at the reality of their love; she covers her mouth to slightly to muffle her happy whimpers.
"Yeeaaah... We've done some crazy shit but none of our foolish antics compare to the risk that we're taking by starting a life together." Luna answers sincerely as her breath catches and her eyes never leave Colson's.
"More wings for Round Seven?" The host interrupts their intimacy again.
"Round Seven." The couple agrees before nodding studiously at each other and focusing on their wings.
"Round Seven we have Bourbon Habenero Ghost from Hellfire Detroit. Let's give it a go." He suggests as they each take a bite. "Best song on Hotel Diablo?" Sean hits them with a rapid fire question.
"AHHHHH... Fuck!! THAT'S hot!! Ahhhh... Ahhh... Bad Things!" Colson shouts out his answer as he stands up and begins waving his bandana around.
Sean heads directly for the milk after one full bite, chew and swallow. Luna eats the whole wing. Then finishes her beer.
"Aww... Bunny." Luna coos with a smile as she lightly giggles and sucks her teeth. "Don't listen to him, he's hot sauce dumb right now. Col, get some milk... " She advises as she hands him the glass. "Hotel Diablo is bigger than just ONE great song." Luna air quotes. "It's a whole concept from beginning to end. I won't say which song I think is the best but I think when a song that is not only number on the Alternative charts but also number two in POP with a major lyric that stands alone about hurting oneself... " Luna's voice begins to quiver. "Than that means to me that millions of people are responding to and resonating with a certain kind of painful feeling... " Luna starts to become visibly emotional as she continues to speak. "And I think it's important to pay attention to that point because it's incredibly concerning that so many individuals in our society obviously relate in some kind of vulnerable way to the words of this song but we don't talk about ANY it. It's time to change our question. It's not what is the best song. It should be WHY is this the best song." Luna has tears rolling down her cheeks as she looks down in her lap to let them drop silently, leaving both men speechless.
"Holy fuck... I never thought of it that way." Colson stares at her while holding the empty glass of milk before making his way over to comfort her.
"Are you guys ready for Round Eight?" Sean gently asks as he sits back down with them after Luna's had a chance to pull herself together.
"Yeah, Man. We got this." Colson answers as he squeezes Luna's thigh.
"Okay... Round Eight... We got Beyond Insanity by Da Bomb and a direct question for Brooklyn. We ready? Bite!" Sean declares skipping his own wing to ask Luna the question mid chew. "Why won't you proclaim your birth name publicly?"
"What the FUCK was that?" Colson's bewildered by the question presented to Luna as he holds tight of her thigh and drops his wing as she speaks. "Just know I'm here, Kitten." Is all he can think as he stares daggers into Sean and Luna cooly rips the host a new asshole.
"Do you know my birth name?" Luna asks as she slows down her chewing and stares through the stupid host. "Because I don't. It's not Luna Smith if that what you're suggesting. That's my legal name. Not my birth name. You should really do your research before you ask your guests personal questions... Or at least have them worded correctly." Luna advises icily as she finishes her wing. "We ready for Round Nine?" Luna asks loudly with an annoyed tone as she drops the chicken bone onto her full plate.
"Yeah. Let's do it." Sean continues uncomfortably. "This is called Chipotle Express and it's by PuckerButt Pepper Co... We may be rising in heat but we're gonna take it down a smidge in the questions... I know you've collaborated a few times but do you guys think you'll ever do anything like a full album or project together?" Sean asks as he bites into his wing.
For the first time Luna doesn't use her love of food as an excuse not speak. "That's probably the best question you've asked yet." She compliments Sean finally as she looks over at Colson's own turning wheels before choosing to explain. "Because it's the first one that I don't have an answer to because I never heard the question."
"I think what she's trying to say is as natural of a next move that you may think making an entire album together may be... It never occurred to either of us until the moment you presented the question... " Colson turns his head to stare at Luna with a loving smile; both knowing that they're sharing almost the same thought. "And now I can't stop thinking of all the other thousands of things we could create together. So thank you." Colson and Luna turn away from each other for a moment to look at Sean with gratitude.
"Do you guys believe in soulmates?" He asks his final question while caught up in the loving feelings between the couple.
"Yes."
"No."
Colson and Luna answer at the same time but with different responses. Different ideals. Different expectations.
"What do you mean no?" He asks her with furrowed eyebrows.
"I don't. I believe in true love but I don't believe that we're only destined to love one person. I think different people are supposed to come into our lives at different points for different reasons for different amounts of time. If that wasn't my truth than I would've never been able to fall in love with you after Justin." Luna explains her logic to him as if they're the only two in the hotel room.
Colson's silent for a moment. Totally hating Sean and his hot wings. ESPECIALLY hating his stupid fucking questions. Deeply contemplating what Luna just said.
"But you do, MGK?" Sean asks him directly, interrupting his thoughts.
"Yeah. I believe I found my soulmate... And if not, I'll have her as my wife." He smiles coyly, never taking his eyes off of Luna as she watches him with adoration.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"What were your other questions?" Luna inquisitively asks Sean after they wrap up taping.
"Oh! Uh... What do you think married life will look like for you guys and do you think you'll ever have kids?" He responds, slightly caught off guard.
"Life won't change." Luna smiles. "We're gonna keep on creating, traveling and being kind to The World as for... "
"You ready, Kitten?" Colson interrupts them as he slips his arm around Luna's waist. "Thanks again, Man." He acknowledges Sean before leading Luna away.
"We already have one... But maybe another one day." Luna answers his second question over her shoulder with a twinkle in her eye.
-------------------------------------------------------
"Where are we going now?" Luna giggles into Colson's ear as he carries her piggyback style up a slight hill.
"You've shown me a lot of cool things, now it's my turn." He answers her as he gently sets her down in the evening glow of the dipping sun. "Here, lemme get that blanket." He asks of her as he takes the schoolbag from off of Luna's back. Stretching it out, he reaches for her once he sits down. "Lay with me, please?" He requests.
"Where are we?" Luna asks as she curls up next to his body.
"Just wait." Colson gently instructs as he lights a blunt.
On a quiet hill somewhere in LA, Colson and Luna snuggle up together in the warm summer's air as the sun falls off the edge of The Earth. The night's sky slowly creeping around them. Luna's breath catches in her chest as she takes in Colson's surprise. It's a WHOLE sky filled with stars.
"I knew you'd appreciate this." He smiles to himself as he kisses the top of her head.
"It's so beautiful... How did you ever find this?" She asks in amazement.
"Mod showed me one night when we were tripping. It's the ONLY place you can see the stars out here." Colson breathes in deeply as he pulls her closer.
They lay together pointing out what they think are different constellations. Debating what's a satellite and what's a star. Luna drawing out Orion's Belt as Colson shows her where he believes The Big and Little Dipper are.
"So you really don't believe in soulmates?" Colson asks Luna again under the cosmic sky.
"No. Not one. I believe we're destined to love who we love... And I love you, Bunny. What's the difference?" She asks him.
"I don't know... I guess I find the whole idea of belonging to one person to be comforting and romantic. It's like having a predestined home." The idealistic yet hurt little boy inside of him answers.
"Oh, Bunny... " Luna purrs as she snuggles closer to him. "I am your home. Forever. Married, not married. Soulmates, not soulmates. I know a lot of shit but there's not much I'm sure of." Luna admits. "I am sure that I've loved since I saw you but that I wasn't meant to truly meet you until I did." She places his hand in the middle of her breasts so he can feel her beating heart. "We are who we are for a reason and right now... Our reason is the only thing that makes sense or matters to me."
Colson grabs her chest with a firm lightness. Holding their feelings tightly inside of his large palm. After a moment he gently rolls his body so that he looms over top of Luna. Staring down at her, he brushes the light stands of hair from her face. Leaning on his forearms, he dips down to kiss her passionately. She runs her fingers along the sides of his face into the back of his hair as she pulls him closer and kisses him firmly.
Their touches are sweet and soft under the star filled sky. They slowly undress each other as their kisses linger on their bare skin. Colson and Luna stare into each other's souls as he fully enters her. Making them both shake from their pure feelings and emotions.
It's not often that Colson and Luna make love. They usually fuck the shit out of each other. Tonight they're not animals. They're intimate lovers, both taking their time. Dropping heartfelt I love yous into each other's ears as they softly pant and moan. Soulmates or not, Luna and Colson are in this shit called Life together. Forever.