Flare
Napatingala ako sa kaniya. Seeing him this close makes my heart beat faster and I know the reason why. He's carrying me like how a husband would carry his wife after getting married. Mataman lang siyang nakatingin sa'kin samantalang ako naman ay nakatingala sa kaniya.
My limbs are getting numb. Nararamdaman ko ang panlalamig at paninigas ng mga ito. My muscles, even my tissues are contracting in pain. I wasn't able to move because of the frostbite he activated.
Figures. He took extra precautions for me.
"Admit defeat before the frostbite reach your heart," malamig niyang wika. I didn't react. I know what he was talking about.
The freezing of my skin causes numbness of my body parts. Later it it will restrict my veins and prevent blood from circulating. It's like having my heart frozen for life just like him. A frozen heart. An ice cold heart that even my burning warmth could't touch. I guess there's no point on trying to make those thick ice melt for me. As I can see he never really cares, there's no chance for him to even like me a bit.
Napatingin ako sa braso ko't nakita ko ang pamumutla ng balat ko kaya nakagat ko ang ibabang bahagi ng labi ko. The circulation of my blood's already affected. Any minutes from now my heart will freeze.
"Do you really want to die?" Matigas nitong tanong. I didn't answer him but just stared at him for a few seconds.
"If I would die in your arms, then it's a pleasure." Saglit kong nakitaan ng emosyon ang mga mata niya.
Was that pain?
"Admit defeat," he repeated. I didn't budge. Nakatingin lang ako sa kaniya't gano'n din siya sa'kin na para bang sinusuri ang pagkatao ko.
Please, don't make this so hard for me...
Napantig ang tainga ko nang marinig ko ang iniisip niya. Nangunot ang noo ko. His thoughts sounded like he was begging for it. Like he was begging for me not to make things harder for him, but I don't understand why either.
You can't lose, our princess. You need to win before they can cancel it.
Nabalik ako sa katinuan nang marinig ko ang boses ni Yael sa isip ko. Oh, right. I nearly forgot. I need to win this festival not just for a bet but to get one step ahead of knowing my real identity. Hindi ko rin alam ano ang pina-plano nila pero ang pagkauhaw ko sa katotohanan ang paiiralin ko sa ngayon. Mariin kong pinikit ang mga mata ko. I got no room to prioritize my hopeless romantic love affair.
Heal my frostbite, Yael.
I remembered how he healed my burn back then. Alam kong may kakayahan siyang gamutin ang sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon. He can heal anything related to internal and external pain and sickness. That is what I'm sure of.
Pagdaaan ng ilang segundo ay unti-unti kong nararamdaman ang panunumbalik ng pakiramdam ko. Little by little I can feel my own arms and legs. Bago pa man tuluyang mawala ang pamumutla ng balat ko't bumalik ito sa normal na kulay ay inangat ko ang kanang kamay ko upang kabigin ang batok niya dahilan upang mapayuko siya papalapit sa'kin.
I took advantage of his submission and reached out for his lips and kissed him. Naramdaman ko ang paninigas niya mula sa pagkakatayo dahil hindi niya 'yon inaasahan. I closed my eyes with my lips brushing against his. It felt so soft and cold, but warm for some reasons. I moved and nibbled his lower lip. Hindi siya gumagalaw. He remained frozen as if he was really not expecting it.
Tinanggal ko ang kanang kamay ko sa batok niya sabay mulat ng mga mata ko. I saw him staring at me blankly. Mga matang kailan man ay hindi ko magawang basahin sa hindi ko malamang dahilan. His lips were unmoving. Hindi ito gumaganti sa bawat halik na binibigay ko sa kaniya. It felt like I was kissing a nonexistent person.
Kahit na hindi siya gumagalaw ay nakatingin lang siya nang diretso sa mga mata ko. I took that opportunity to raise my left hand. Tinutok ko ito sa tuktok ng palasyo kung saan naroon ang insignia. Naramdaman kong bigla siyang naging alerto sa naging muwestra ko at akmang lalayo sa'kin nang habulin ko ang labi niya at kagatin ang ibabang bahagi nito.
I smiled when the insignia landed on my bare hands. I used gravity to take it effortlessly while trying to distract Frost with a kiss. Nakarinig ako ng pagsabog sa kalangitan. It must be the fireworks. Senyales na talo na ang Water Continent dahil nakuha ko na ang insignia.
Hinawakan niya ako sa balikat at puwersahang inilayo sa kaniya. I can see anger in his eyes. I scoffed. Is he angry because I used dirty tricks to win over him?
"Are you trying to kill yourself?!" He shouted. His expression was livid.
I couldn't find the rightful word to say with his sudden outburst. He was there in front of me, left hand in his head gripping his hair with frustration. I can hear his heavy breath, and I can see his mouth saying inaudible words I can't hear.
"You can't marry me, Flare! You just can't!" Sa hindi ko malamang dahilan ay bigla akong nakaramdam ng panlalamig ng katawan ko. It wasn't because of frostbite this time. It was because of him raising his voice at me.
"Why?" I whispered.
"How many times do I have to keep on repeating myself to you? How many times do I have to make you feel and realize that I don't have a slightest feeling towards you?!" I felt a pang of pain in my chest. I felt chains binding my heart and it really hurts, but I still manage not to show any reaction in my face.
Hold it in, Flare.
"Even if the world stops, I will never love you!" Huminga ako nang malalim. I was trying to calm myself down, and at the same time trying to find the right words to say.
"A bet is a bet. Royalties' bet is like a decree. All the words and conditions spoken must be put into action." Napangisi ako. I wanted to applaud myself for smirking despite of the heartbreak I'm feeling.
"You are unbelievable!" He said sharply.
"You never should've started a bet me, Frost." I tilt my head and crossed my arms in front of him showing him how much I don't care about his concerns.
"I don't care about you marrying me, and I don't care if you love me or not. What matters to me is that you lost the bet and you have to face the consequences of your mistake." His fist suddenly balled into fist, lips sealed tightly, and jaws clenching.
He knows me very well. He know better than challenging me. Alam niyang hindi ko siya aatrasan dahil gusto kong patunayan na maling-mali siya ng hinahamon. And look what we have here, it's Frost going back against his own words.
"You don't have a proof about it. It's your words against mine." I figured out he's gonna say that so I smiled at him. Inangat ko ang kaliwang kamay ko't may lumabas doong isang maliit na salamin. It was a small handful golden mirror.
"No. It's your words against yours." I replied. I showed him the mirror in my hands.
I recently discovered this type of ability I have. The ability to store intangible things into something tangible. It's like storing memories, and capturing events and storing them into things. A mirror is a perfect object to reflect all of them.
Tinapat ko ito sa harap niya. May lumabas na liwanag sa salamin patungo sa lupa. Seconds after, scenes started to reflect on the ground. Nakita roon ang pangyayari kung saan sinabi niya ang kasunduan. Kung mananalo ang Water Continent ay walang kasalang mangyayari. I even asked him what if we won, and he said that will never happen.
"What now, Frost?" Hindi siya nakapagsalita kaya napangisi ako. He knows he's not getting away with it. Buong akala ko'y hindi na ako magugulat at masasaktan pa sa sasabihin niya pero doon ako nagkakamali.
"I love someone else..." he trailed off.
"I love Chastine, my childhood love." Napahigpit ang paghawak ko sa salamin. He loves someone else. Kaya pala kahit anong gawin ko ay hindi niya ako kayang bigyan ng atensyon o ni katiting na pagmamahal.
Chastine, I remembered her. Siya yung sinasabing kababata ni Frost. I heard they're childhood sweethearts as well. Siya din 'yong babaeng nakita kong hinalikan ni Frost.
"You love her? You love her so much to the point you challenged me," I chuckled and narrowed my eyes at him.
"But you lose and you're gonna marry me," matigas kong wika. I don't know why but I suddenly felt surge of emotions inside me that I couldn't explain like I wanted to remind him that I already owned him, that he's already linked to me. That he's mine.
"I will marry you, and you will become my official wife," he stated. Hindi muna ako nagsalita dahil pakiramdam ko'y may idudugtong pa siya roon.
"But I will marry Chastine the same day after I marry you and she will become my concubine." I scoffed.
That's such an insult. He's taking me as his official wife, but he's marrying his concubine right after he married me? Not just that! Sure he's a prince and he's allowed to make a concubine and create his own harem but really? Marrying two at the same day? Does he love her that much?
"You can't blame me. I promised her to be my official wife but now I cannot fulfill it. I will make her as my concubine. And you may become my official wife but don't expect any attention and admiration from me." My mouth almost parted open, gladly it didn't.
I felt my heart crushed into tiny little pieces. Walang katumbas ang sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon. Parang pinipiga ang puso ko at nilalamukos ang bawat parte nito na nagdudulot ng labis na sakit. Masakit naman talagang marinig at malaman sa taong mahal mo na may mahal itong iba at ipamukha pa sayo na wala kang halaga.
I will just be his official wife, nothing more. It's like I owned him by title, but not his heart. Indeed, what a tragic love story.
I love him and it's natural for me to get hurt. Emotions may be over powering me right now but I can still think clearly. If he's using my emotions thinking it would go against my decisions, then he's wrong.
Kung inaakala niyang magpapaubaya ako dahil mahal ko siya at may mahal siyang iba, puwes nagkakamali siya.
"Your choice. You can marry her right after you marry me. I don't even care if you spend the night in her chambers. As long as you fulfilled the condition of the bet, I'm fine with it." Again, he was silent for a few seconds.
"How long are you planning to hurt yourself? Can't you just let me go and be happy?" he said helplessly.
"Let you go? I already let you go long ago. Nakalimutan mo na ba? Ikaw ang nagsimula sa pustahan, ngayon ay hindi mo kayang tapusin at panindigan?" wika ko. I laughed at him sarcastically.
That's to remind everyone that once you mess with my life I became the flare of raging fire you won't be able to extinguish.
"You set the date of the wedding, I'l tell my mother king and queen about it." I nod my head.
"A day after tomorrow is our wedding date. Make sure to explain everything to Chastine. I don't want scandalous events to happen."
"Don't worry, she's not like you." I rolled my eyes. She's definitely not me, and I'll never be like her.
I OPENED my eyes when I heard someone knocking on the door. It must be the chamber maids telling me to wake up because the matrimony gifts has arrived.
"Your highness, the matrimony gifts from the royalties of Water Continent has arrived!" Bumangon ako mula sa pagkakahiga.
Tomorrow will be the wedding and everyone in the palace is very busy for the preparation. Even the king and queen are shocked about the sudden announcement of the wedding, Feleri was flabbergasted and Flame just left when he heard about it.
"I'll be out in a minute." Inayos ko ang higaan ko bago hayaang bumagsak ang mahaba kong buhok sa balikat ko. I went to the vanity on the side of my bed. Umupo ako roon habang tinitigan ang sarili ko sa salamin.
Who are you?
That's the question I couldn't even answer myself or let's say that's the question I'm trying to answer. I wanted to find out who I am and what I truly am. Hindi ako matatahimik hanggang hindi ko malalaman ang totoo tungkol sa pagkatao ko.
"Fichi..." The dragon bracelet suddenly lit up. Bigla itong nawala sa braso ko't pagdaan ng ilang segundo ay biglang lumitaw sa tabi ko si Caiz.
After the festival, si Caiz lang ang nanatili sa tabi ko. Of course he's disguised as a dragon bracelet in my arm. Canaan, Yael, and Arden need to be somewhere. They said they need to prepare for something na hindi ko naman alam at hindi na ako nag-abala pang magtanong dahil alam kong hindi naman nila sasabihin.
"What?"
"Are you okay?" I didn't answer him. Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses niya ako tinanong kung ayos lang ba ako simula noong natapos ang paghaharap namin ni Frost.
"I mean your heart doesn't hurt? Nothing pains you?" I laughed in my head. My heart does hurt. I got rejected multiple times. Harap-harapan pa sa'king sinabi na may mahal siyang iba.
"Isa pang tanong mo, tatamaan ka sa'kin." Humarap ako sa salamin habang dahan-dahang sinuklay ang buhok ko.
Nakatingin lang sa akin si Caiz habang unti-unti ko itong tinatali. I tied it into a bun. Napagdesisyunan kong maglugay ng ilang hibla ng buhok malapit sa noo ko't napakurap ako nang may maalala ako.
"Faxara..." Sa hindi ko malamang dahilan ay bigla ko nabanggit ang pangalan ng babaeng nakita ko sa isang kuwarto noong nakaraan.
Nakikita ko siya sa sarili ko at hindi ko alam kung bakit. We have the same hair color. Even our eyes screams the same fierceness, dominance, and authority. Nakagat ko ang ibabang bahagi ng labi ko. I'm not dumb. I can see resemblances. Kahit na sabihing magkapatid sila ng reyna at baka sa kaniya ako pinaglihi, hindi ako maniniwala sa pagkakataon lang. Ni wala nga akong maramdaman na kahit na ano sa hari at reyna.
The question is if Faxara's my real mother, why is the queen owning me as her daughter?
Napangisi ako. I guess I have to find out on my own. Ang pinagkaiba lang namin ng kapatid ng reyna na nagngangalang Faxara ay ang buhok at hugis ng mukha. She has a curly hair and proportional face. I have a long straight hair and oval shaped face.
I decided to curl the ends of my hair just like hers. I tied my hair into the same hairstyle just like what I saw in that old frame. I copied her royal dress as well and the resemblance is indeed cunning. Nang tingnan ko ang sarili ko sa salamin ay magkamukhang-magkamuha na kaming dalawa.
"Fichi..." I look at him in the mirror. He look astounded as well.
"I'm not asking you anything. Let me do what I want." Wala naman siyang nagwa kun'di ang tumango na lang.
"Your Highness!" May kumatok sa pintuan kaya naman mabilis na nawala si Caiz sa paningin ko't namalayan ko na lang ang dragon na bracelet na nakakasuot sa bandang braso ko.
I stood up. Pagbukas na pagbukas ko ng pinto ay bumungad sa akin ang head ng chamber maids. May katandaan na siya at siya ang nakakataas sa lahat ng mga chamber maids dito.
"Tinatawag na po kayo ng maha-" Pag angat nito ng tingin sa'kin ay biglang umawang ang labi niya. I saw how her lips quivered. Parang may gusto siyang sabihin pero walang lumalabas sa bibig niya.
Napangisi ako. I went passed her without saying anything and went to the throne hall. The king and queen is probably there together with the matrimony gifts. They must be waiting for me to receive and appreciate it.
Taas noo akong naglakad papunta roon. I remained my expressionless face as I walked with grace and elegance along the hallways and corridors. Diretso lang ang tingin ko sa dinadaanan ko nang hindi pinapansin ang mga kawal at mga katulong na yumuyuko upang bigyan ako ng galang.
When I arrived at the doors of the hall, the knight bowed his head and smiled politely as he announced my arrival.
"Princess Flare Fyche Fiery has arrived!" Inayos ko ang pagkakakulot ng ilang hibla ng buhok ko malapit sa noo't hinanda ang sarili ko sa pagbubukas ng tarangkahan papasok ng hall.
Parang bumagal ang paglipas ng segundo nang dahan-dahang bumukas ang pinto't iniluwa ako mula roon. Nakita ko mula sa malayo ang hari at reyna na nakangiti at masayang nagkukwentuhan.
Nang dumako ang tingin nila sa'kin ay biglang nawala ang ngiti sa kanilang labi. Sa hindi malamang dahilan ay biglang napatayo ang reyna sa gulat nang makita ako. She has this chaotic expression in her face. Para siyang nakakita ng patay na biglang bumangon at nabuhay. I can see how flustered her face was as she look at me.
I don't know but I suddenly smiled like her reaction fascinates me. Nang ngumiti ako ay muntikan na siya matumba sa kinatatayuan niya kung hindi siya nasuportahan ng hari. My smile widened even more. It's not genuine, but a menacing smile like I was taunting her.
"Good morning, mother and father..." I greeted as I bowed my head a little. Nandoon pa rin ang pag-angat ng sulok ng labi ko habang nakatingin sa kanilang dalawa.
Napipilitan namang ngumiti ang hari samantalang ang reyna ay gulantang pa ring nakatitig sa akin. Tumikhim ako't nagkunyaring nag-aalala.
"Mother, are you alright?" Kumurap-kurap ang mga mata niya. Huminga ito nang malalim habang nakahawak ang magkabilang kamay sa bandang puso niya.
"Should I call the royal doctors?" dag-dag ko.
Umiling naman ang hari at inalalayang tumayo ng maayos ang reyna. He tried to make her sit properly on the throne pero hindi mapakali ang reyna habang nakatingin sa'kin. Para bang kung hindi pa ako aalis sa harapan niya ano mang oras ay hihimatayin siya.
Patay malisya akong tumalikod at hinarap ang mga kawal at mga mensahero mula sa Water Continent na may dalang mga regalo para sa kasal na magaganap bukas. They can't leave until I accept and acknowledge the gifts.
"You may leave the halls, send my greetings to the king and queen for the gifts." Nagsitanguan ang mga ito't pinanood ko silang magsilabasan sa throne hall.
"Frinn, Frinn calm down..." I cocked my head sheepishly as I listen to the kings words. Nakatalikod pa rin ako sa kanila but I can imagine their faces.
Ang hindi ko lang malaman ay kung bakit ganoon na lang ang reaksyon niya nang makita ang mukha ko. What's her deal with Faxara which is her sister that I look much alike?
I faced her for the last time with a cold expression on my face. I was looking straight at her as if I was looking at her soul.
You will never escape the truth you are trying to bury with lies...
Itutuloy...