- September 30th 1996-
Me and Joey are at my apartment and he is watching TV on the couch while I watch him from the kitchen nervously....Everysince me and Joey have gotten together 6 months ago he has been practically living with me.He hangs out with Chandler in the day time and comes to my place to sleep...Since its been 6 months I have decided to ask if he would like to move in with me....I walk over to Joey with my stomach doing flips as I sit down next to him.Joey looks at me smiling but stops and raises an eyebrow at me.
Joey:Babe what's wrong?.
Tabitha:Nothing I just....Have a question.
Joey:"Turns off TV".I'm all ears.
Tabitha:Well you practically live with me already and I was just wondering if you would want to move in officially....You can still go see Chandler I mean our routine will still be the same just your stuff will be here and not there.
Joey smiles and kisses me and we end up laying down on the couch as we kiss and Joey pulls back.
Joey:I would love to live with you."Smiles".
Tabitha:Whenever you are ready to you can move in...But we should talk to Chandler.
Joey:Yeah we should...But we don't have to right now.
Joey brings me into a kiss once again and all the nervousness vanishes as I am wrapped in my lovers arms...Later that day we enter Chandler and Joey's apartment to see Chandler watching TV.
Tabitha:Yo Chandler we need to talk.
Chandler:What did I do now?.
Chandler turns to us with a confused look.
Tabitha:Nothing just we need to talk.
Joey:Tabitha asked me to move in with her.
Tabitha:And i thought we should talk to you about it.
Chandler:Why?.
Tabitha:Cause you guys are bestfriend's and roommates.
Joey:Duh.
I chuckle and Chandler smiles at us.
Chandler:Yes its okay with me you love birds.
Me and Joey grin and we run over and hug Chandler.
*****************************************
-October 3rd 1996-
I am at Chandler and Joey's Chandler is sitting reading a book and I am writing in my notebook as we hear Joey jumping on his bed.
Joey:Whoa!.
We hear a crash and run to Joey's bedroom.
Chandler:See Joe that's why your parents told you not to jump on the bed.
Later in the day Me,Joey and Chandler enter Monica and Rachel's apartment.Joey is wearing a sling.
Tabitha,Joey:Hey.
Chandler:Hey.
Ross:Aww is it broken?.
Joey:No I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks."Points to the sling".
Rachel:Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?.
Joey:No I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.
Chandler:Well I'm sorry Joe.I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just fell out of the socket.
Tabitha:Yes Chandler but I had a better cover story.
Chandler:Like what?.
Tabitha:That's private.
Chandler rolls his eyes at me.
Joey:What is this fruit?."Picks a fruit up".
Rachel:Monica's making jam.
Joey:Whoa jam!.I love jam!."To Chandler". Hey how come we never have jam at our place?.
Chandler:Because the kids need new shoes.
Tabitha:If you wanted Jam Joey you could have asked me to get some to keep at my apartment.
Monica:I'm going into business people.I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard.I needed a plan,a plan to get over my man.What's the opposite of man?.Jam.
Monica sees Joey trying some jam from the pot.
Monica:Oh Joey don't!.It's way to hot.
Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.
Joey:This will just be my batch.
*****************************************
-
October 4th 1996-
At Central Perk Joey is putting lots of jam on his muffin.
Joey:Remember when you where a kid and your Mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?.
Rachel:"Looks at him".You're so pretty.
Phoebe:"Entering".Hi!.
Everyone:Hey Phoebe.
Phoebe:Hey oh you know that guy who's been following me?.I talked to him today.
Joey:"With food in his mouth".You talked to him.Are you crazy?.
Phoebe:Okay first I'm not crazy.And second say it don't spray it.Anyway his name is Malcom and he wasn't following me I mean he was but cause he thought I was Ursula ick.And that's why, hat's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me.Cause of the restraining order.
Chandler:Umm not feeling better bout Malcom.
Phoebe:Oh!,No,no,no,no he's not like a kook no.He's just like this,this very passionate incredibly romantic guy that got like a tinsy bit carried away you know.And we just get along really well and he's so cute.
Ross:Oh my God you've got a crush on your sister's stalker.
Phoebe:No I'm just gonna help him you know get de-Ursula-ized like you know,like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
Joey:"With his mouthful".Hey I didn't stalk her.I mean
Joey sprays Phoebe with crumbs from his mouth.
Phoebe:Okay I asked for the news not the weather.
Monica:"Entering".Hey guys.
Everyone:Hey Mon.
Monica:Joey this is for you."Gives him a jar of jam".It's blackberry curin.
Joey:Awe."Tastes it".Oh!.
Chandler:Hey Joe I gotta ask Tabitha buck naked."Holds up one hand".Or,or a big tub of jam."Holds up the other hand".
Joey:Put your hands together."Smirks winking".
Tabitha:"Whispers to Joey".How romantic.
I pull back and i wink at him and I watch as he blushes which makes me chuckle.
Monica:Joey take your time with that.That's my last batch.
Joey:No more jam?."Sadly".
Rachel:Well what happened to your jam plan?.
Monica:I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So I've got a new plan now.Babies.
Chandler:Well your gonna need much bigger jars.
Ross:What are you talking about?.
Monica:I'm talking about me having a baby.
Ross:What?.
Tabitha:Are you serious?.
Monica:Yeah.The great thing about the jam plan was I was taking control of my life.So I asked myself what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's when I came up with the baby plan.
Ross:Well aren't you forgetting something?. What,what,what is uh what is that guy's name?.Dad!.
Monica:It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with if I have to wait another 28 years then I'll be 56 before I can have a baby and that's just stupid.
Chandler:That,that's what's stupid.
Monica:I don't need an actual man just a couple of his best swimmers.And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff.
Rachel:Down at the docks again?.
*****************************************
-
October 5th 1996-
At Monica and Rachel's Me,Joey and Chandler are at the kitchen table.Joey is eating jam straight out of the jar and Chandler is staring at him in amazement.Joey offers him some.
Chandler:No that's all right.I just had a jar of mustard.
Monica:"Entering from her bedroom".Okay sperm donor number 03815 come on down!.Okay he's 6'2",170 pounds and he describes himself as a male Geena Davis.
Chandler:You mean there's more than one of us.
Ross:Look you can't do this Mon.All right if you do this I'm,I'm gonna,I'm,I'm gonna.....
Monica:You're gonna what?.
Ross:I'm gonna tell Mom.
Rachel:Honey I'm sorry but he's right.I love you but you're crazy.
Ross:Crazy.
Monica:What?!.Why?,Why is this crazy?.So this isn't the ideal way to something....
Ross:"Interrupting her".Oh it's not the ideal way...
Monica:Lips moving,still talking.I mean it may not be ideal but I'm so ready.No I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you.It makes me ache you know?.
Joey:Check it out!.Jam crackers!.
Joey holds up a Graham cracker covered in Jam.I chuckle at his childishness.
Tabitha:Cool invention."Chuckles".
Monica:Okay all right how's this?.27. Italian-American guy.He's an actor,born in Queens.Wow big family seven sisters and he's the only....boy.
We all turn and look at Joey.
Monica:Oh my God under personal comments New York Knicks,rule!.
Joey:"Engroused in eating Jam".Yeah the Knicks rule.
Monica:Joey this is you.
Joey:Let me see.
Joet goes over and looks at the form.
Joey:Oh right.
Rachel:When did you go to a sperm bank?.
Joey:Well right after I did that sex study down at NYU."To Chandler".Hey Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?.
Chandler:And that's how you bought it?.
Joey:No that's what I was wearing when I donated.I'm kinda surprised there's any of my boys left.
Monica:Well honey it is pretty competitive. I mean I've got an actual rocket scientist here.
Joey:Maybe I should call this place and tell them to get rid of it tho.
Phoebe:"Entering".Hello!.
Everyone:Hey.
Ross:How's the maniac?.
Phoebe:Oh well he's yummy.We did a little kissing.
Rachel:Phoebe what are you doing?.
Phoebe:Oh,no,no,no,no.You know what he's not into that stuff anymore.He quit for me.
Tabitha:Pheebs this guy has been obsessed with your sister for God knows how long okay you don't just give up something like that.
Phoebe:Look he gave me his night vision goggles and everything.
Ross:You're taking the word of a guy who has night vision goggles?.
Phoebe:What he's not still following her.Do you think he is still following her?.
Chandler:Pheebs wake up and smell the restraining order.
Phoebe:What are you saying I should do?.
Monica:I think that if you really like this guy you should just trust him.
Phoebe:Thank you Monica.
Joey:Or you could follow him and see where he goes.
Monica:Oh that's what I would do forget mine.
*****************************************
-October 6th 1996-
At Monica and Rachel's Joey is entering the apartment.
Joey:Hey.
Monica:Hey.
Joey:Where you going?.
Monica:To the bank.
Joey:Sperm or regular?.
Monica:Sperm.
Tabitha:So you're really doing this huh?.
Monica:Oh yeah picked a guy 37135.
Joey:Sounds nice.
Monica:Fraid so.Brown hair,green eyes...
Joey:No kidding hm.
Monica:What?.
Joey:No I-I figured you would've picked a blond guy.
Monica:Really?.Why?.
Joey:I don't know I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall,smart blond guys,name like.... Hoyt.
Monica:Hoyt?.
Joey:It's a name yeah.I saw you,you know in this great house with a big pool.
Monica:Really is he a swimmer?.
Joey:He's got the body for it.
Monica:I like that.
Joey starts laughing.
Monica:What?.
Joey:You guys have one of those signs that says We don't swim in your toilet,so don't pee in our pool.You know.
I laugh at that.
Monica:We do not have one of those signs.
Joey:Sure you do it was a gift from me.Oh!. And you have these three great kids.
Monica:Two girls and a boy?.
Joey:Yeah!.
Monica:And,and,and they wear those little water wings you know.And they're,they're running around on the deck.Then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of them.
Joey:Sure!.
Monica looks very depressed.
Tabitha:But hey you know this way sounds good too.
Monica:Yeah.
Joey:Oh Monica.
Joey and I go over and hug her I watch as Joey then looks at the form and stops hugging her and I pull away as well.
Joey:Wow this guy's an astronaut.That would've been cool."Sees Monica".For like a day."Hugs her".
*****************************************
At Monica and Rachel's Joey is finishing off the last of the jam as Him,Me and Rachel sit at the kitchen table.
Joey:I called the sperm bank today they want to talk in person about getting rid of the sperm.
Joey tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face and i hold a laugh.
Joey:I will be making an appointment.
Tabitha:Babe you got a little thing on your..."Points to her whole face".
Joey wipes a little jam from the corner of his mouth.
Joey:Did I get it?.
Tabitha:"Laughs".Here let me.
I grab a towel and wipe his face for him and he just smiles at me as i do so.As i throw the towel away Ross enters the apartment.
Ross:Hello.
Rachel:Hello.
Ross:"Sees Joey".Hey."Walks into the living room".Uh Chan can I uh can I talk to you for a second?.
Chandler:Sure.What's up?.
Ross:Just one uh one additional relationship thought.Probably something your already familiar with uh women talk!."Smacks Chandler over the head with a magazine".