-June 15th 1996-
Everyone is here at Central Perk except for Joey who enters.
Tabitha:Hey Joey how did the audition go?.
Joey:Incredible!.I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was.
Everyone:Who?.
Joey:All right.I'll give you one hint....Warren Beatty.
Everyone:Wow!.
Joey:Yeah there's just one thing that might be kind've a problem.See i uh had to kiss this guy.
Chandler:Cause he was just so darn cute.
Joey:No as part of the audition.See I'm up for this part of this guy who the main guy kisses.
Ross:Well hey.You're an actor I say you just suck it up and do it.
Rachel looks at Ross in disbelief.
Ross:Or you just do it.
Joey:I did do it I'm a professional.
Monica:Then what's the problem?.
Joey:See after the scene Mr.Beatty comes up to me and says good actor,bad kisser... Can you believe that,me not a good kisser, that's like,like Mother Theresa,not a good mother.
Phoebe:Well come on who cares what that guy thinks.What does Warren Beatty know about kissing?.
Me,Chandler and Monica give her a look.
Phoebe:Oh.
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Chandler:Hey what did your agent say?.
Joey:Yep this kiss thing is defiantly a problem Mr.Beatty wants to see it again on Monday.Man I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong.Oh okay one of you girls come over here and kiss me.
Joey looks towards me but looks towards Monica,Rachel and Phoebe to keep our relationship to ourselves.
Monica:What forget it!.
Rachel:Yeah right.
Joey:Come on I need your help here.
Tabitha:All right.I'll do it.
I go over and I grab his face and i kiss him.I hear Chandler make a barfing noise as we kiss and I pull back from Joey.
Tabitha:Ah good,very good,firm but tender."Winks".
Joey:Then I don't know what it is.What's the problem?.
Monica:Joey you know maybe your just not used to kissing men,maybe you just tensed up a little,maybe that's what you need to work on.
Joey:Yeah that makes sense."Looks at Ross".
Ross:Over my dead body!.
Joey looks at Chandler.
Chandler:And I'll be using his dead body as a shield.
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-
June 16th 1996-
At Monica and Rachel's Me,Phoebe,Monica and Richard are here.
Ross:"Entering from Rachel's bedroom". Come on out honey.I'm telling you look good.
Ross turns around and under his breath he says to us.
Ross:Tell her she looks good,tell her she looks good.
Rachel enters in this hideous pink bride's maid dress with a huge silver bow on her chest and a big huge skirt.Me,Monica and Richard stare in shock.
Phoebe:"Laughing".Oh my God you look so good!.
Rachel:I can not believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 people looking like something you drink when your nauseous.
Ross:So don't I don't see why we have to go to this thing anyway it's your ex-fiancee's wedding.
Rachel:Because I promised Mindy I would.
Monica:Yeah well you promised Barry you'd marry him.
Rachel glares at Monica and Monica retreats to safety between Richard's legs.
Rachel:Look you guys I have to go I'm the Maid-of-Honor.And besides you know what I just need to be in a room again with these people and feel good about myself.
Chandler enters the apartment and sees Rachel in the dress and starts laughing.
Phoebe:Oh-oh!.Someone's wearing the same clothes they had on last night. Someone get a little action?.
Chandler:I may have.
Monica:Woohoo stud!.
Tabitha:What's she look like?.
Chandler:Well we haven't exactly met we just stayed up all night talking on the internet.
Monica:Woohoo geek!.
I laugh.
Chandler:I like this girl okay I seriously like this girl you now how sometimes I tend get a little defended and quipy...
Ross:Get out.
Rachel:No.
Tabitha,Monica:Please.
Chandler:Well she totally called me on it okay.She said cut it out,get real and I did.
Rachel:Wow!.What's that like?.
Chandler:It's like this...Me no jokes.
Phoebe:All right stop it you're freaking me out.
Richard:Oh yeah I don't like you this way. All right I'll see you guys later.
Everyone:Bye Richard.
Monica:Bye sweetie."Kisses him".I love you.
Richard:I love you too.
Monica stares at the door after Richard leaves.
Phoebe:I think my boyfriend ever so dreamy,I wonder what our wedding's gonna be like.
Monica:What are you talking about?.What wedding?.
Phoebe:Come on like you never talk that.
Monica:No!,Never!.I mean we're living in the moment.God it is so nice for once to not have to get all hung up on Where is this going?.
Tabitha:Afraid to ask him?.
Monica:Could not be more terrified.
Chandler:Well I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing give Rachel another chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum.
I hold a laugh at Chandler's teasing but then I start to think about weddings...Me and Joey haven't talked about that.
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At Chandler and Joey's place Me,Joey,Chandler and Phoebe are here and Chandler is talking to his new friend on the internet...Me and Joey talked about telling our friends today about us.
Joey:Come on Chandler I want this part so much.
Chandler ignores him.
Joey:Just one kiss I won't tell anyone.
Chandler:Joey no means no!.
Rachel in her bridesmaid dress complete with hat and Ross enter the apartment.
Rachel:Hey.
Chandler:I'm sorry we,we don't have your sheep.
Joey:Awe Rach I think you look cute."Kisses her on the cheek".
Joey then looks at Ross.
Joey:And you uh y-you I could eat with a spoon."Goes to kiss him".
I hold a laugh at this.
Ross:Get away from me I said no!.
Monica:"Entering".Richard buzzed.He's waiting downstairs.
Joey:Oh Richard's here.I should run down say bye to him.
Tabitha:Hold it!."Grabs his shirt".Don't we have news to share Joesph?.
Joey:Uh...Yeah."Smiles".
We look at are friends to see them waiting for us to say something.
Tabitha:Me and Joey have been seeing eachother for a few months now.
Everyone but Chandler gasps and when he doesn't everyone looks at him.
Monica:You knew?!.
Tabitha:We told him so when Joey spent the night at my place he wouldn't get suspicious Monica.
Rachel:I think you and Joey are a cute couple.
I smile and as I'm about to reply Joey cuts me off.
Joey:I'm gonna go now."Runs out".
Everyone:Bye.
Phoebe:Bye good luck.
Rachel,Ross and Monica all leave behind Joey.
Phoebe:So how's your date with your cyberchick going.Oh hey what is all that"Points at the computer screen".
Chandler:Oh it's a website it's the uh the Guggenheim museum See she likes art and I like funny words.
Phoebe:What does she mean by HH?.
Chandler:"Shyly".It means we're holding hands.
Phoebe:Are you the cutest?.
Chandler:I'm afraid I might just be.
Phoebe:You know what I think is so great that you are totally into this person and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old or have two heads or It could be a guy.
Chandler:Okay it's not a guy all right I know her.
Phoebe:It could be like a big giant guy.
Joey:"Entering".Man I got this close to him "Holds up his fingers".And Monica kneed me in the back...What's going on?.
Phoebe:We were just wondering if Chandler's girlfriend is a girl.
Joey:Oh well.Just ask her how long she's gonna live.Women live longer than men.
Tabitha:"Chuckles".
Chandler:How do you not fall down more?.
Tabitha:Okay ask her What is her current method of birth control?.
Chandler:All right."Reading her answer". My husband is sleeping with his secretary... She's married!.
Phoebe:Well at least we know she's a woman.
Chandler:I can't believe she's married.
Joey:Aw man I'm sorry."Starts rubbing Chandler's shoulder".This must be very tough for you huh.
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Later while we are still at Chandler and Joey's place Phoebe is still here and Chandler's computer dings.
Phoebe:Aren't you gonna answer her that's like the tenth bing-bong message she sent.She wants to know what's wrong?.
Chandler:What's wrong?,What's wrong?.You're married that's what's wrong.
We hear another ding.
Phoebe:Oh my.
Chandler:What?.
Phoebe:She wants to meet you in person.
Chandler:Hey look Phoebe I wanted to meet her in person too okay but she's married she has a husband.
Phoebe:What if the husband person is the wrong guy and you are the right guy.I mean you don't get chances like this all the time if you don't meet her now you're gonna be kicking yourself when your 80 which is hard to do and that's how you break a hip.
Chandler:Okay I'll do it!.
Phoebe:Oh yeah!.Okay!.Great.Go man go put on your shoes a-and march out there and meet her!.
Chandler runs and picks up his shoes.
Phoebe:Oh wait no,no you have to take a shower cause ew.
Chandler runs to the bathroom as the computer dings again.
Phoebe:No you know what you have to answer her answer her first.
Chandler runs to the computer.
Phoebe:No,no you know what make some coffee cause its too much.
Chandler walks slowly into the kitchen and I turn to Phoebe.
Tabitha:Your driving him crazy Pheebs!.
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-July 17th 1996-
The next day at Central Perk Me,Joey,Chandler,Rachel,Ross and Phoebe are here waiting for Chandler's cyberchick to arrive.
Chandler:Where is she,Where is she?."Grabs Tabitha".Oh hey I have a question where is she?.
Tabitha:Chandler relax Chandler she'll be here.
Chandler:"Noticing a blond woman walking in".Oh,oh,oh that's her.
Ross:"Seeing her".Yeah cause life's just that kind.
Phoebe:Chandler you gotta stop staring at the door.It's like a watched pot you know if you keep looking at it then the door is to never gonna boil.I think what you have to do is try not to...
At that moment Chandler's ex Janice walks in.
Chandler:Oh my God!.
Janice:Oh.....My.....God...
Chandler rushes over and kisses her.
Everyone:Oh.....My.....God!.
Later that day at Chandler and Joey's I'm making some soup as Joey is reading a script and Ross enters the apartment.
R
oss:All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this because I wanna be a good friend and dammit I am a good friend.So j-just shut up and close your eyes."Kisses Joey".
When Ross stops kissing Joey I stare at them.
Joey:Wow you are a good friend course the audition was this morning and I didn't get it.But that was a hell of a kiss.Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Tabitha:I really wished I didn't see that.
Joey stands up and walks over to me.
Joey:Maybe i can erase that from your mind."Winks".
Tabitha:"Chuckles".You know Ross wishes he was deaf right now...Right?.
We look at Ross who is getting ready to leave the apartment and as he does me and Joey begin laughing.