.56
If I had food in my mouth, I would have choked on what Ivo said. I forced my facial expression to remain neutral and unbothered, but every fiber of my being wants to run away. Hearing his voice again and sitting with just a table between us makes me uncomfortable.
I hate how my eyes noticed the smallest things. I noticed that his hair is a little longer now. The midnight blue suit he was wearing somehow brightened his skin, and when he slightly moved his arm, I can't help but watch how his muscles protruded underneath his sleeve.
Ivo's eyes are just as I remember. His gaze is still sharp, as if lined with icicles around the edge, the calculating coldness as he stared back at me. I noticed my reflection in them, shivering, I stared back at him.
And the familiar warmth in his gaze every time he looked at me seven years ago, gone. I am nothing but foreign to him.
They still hold me. Suddenly, it all came back to me. I've never entirely forgotten the night when he first glanced my way for the first time. When we danced that night with the stars so bright in the sky. The first kiss we shared inside his car and the softness of his lips.
After all these years, I still feel everything when he's near.
And before I could lose myself in his eyes, I looked away and stared at the glass of water in front of me instead. I'm walking in thin ice right now, and if I kept my gaze on him, I know I would have surrendered and sought comfort in his familiar eyes.
I took the glass and drank the water like my life depended on it. All of them were watching me intently. Tessa looked at me like I have lost my mind while Kaede watched with full of concern with her doe eyes.
And Ivo? He probably wished the water could drown me. I almost dropped the glass when I placed it back on the table because my hand was shaking.
How did I get here?
How did this happen?
I feel restless. I want to leave, but I can't. It was as if an invisible force was holding me back, and I do not have any choice but to sit here and watch this entire cliché movie.
I felt Tessa's hand on my back, and she whispered silently to me that only I could hear, "Calista, are you okay?"
I gave Tessa the brightest smile I could muster, "Yes. I'm totally fine," I turned my eyes to Kaede, "I don't mean to be rude, but why am I here again? Is it because of the autograph? Do I have to sign anything else?" I said apathetically.
Kaede looked taken aback at the tone of my voice, but she smiled anyway. Is she that dense? The moment I saw them here, I lost interest. I don't even care what's this meeting about anymore. I just want to get out of this place.
"No, Ms. Calista," she turned her head to look at Ivo and lovingly beamed at him, "My fiancé and I are here to make a request."
Goddamn it. I don't like how the word fiancé rolled out her tongue effortlessly.
Before I could tell her that I am not taking any requests, Tessa beat me to it. "Of course, we would be glad to make this happen, Ms. Astrella."
Kaede's entire face brightened up. "Awesome!" She turned from Tessa to me and said, "It will be the loveliest gift we will receive."
I forced myself to smile, "What request is this exactly?"
Kaede opened her mouth, but Ivo's voice snatched my attention. "We want you to paint us," he paused. His eyes are dark and intense. "Paint us for our upcoming wedding." I tensed at his words.
"We have been a fan of yours, Ms. Calista, ever since the release of your first painting. Your talent is undeniable. Your paintings speak to one's heart and mind. We think that if you're the one who will paint our portrait, then you will surely capture the love my fiancé and I have for each other with just a stroke of your brush." Her eyes sparkled with delight as she explained. Ivo then squeezed her hand. A soft smile was tugging in his lips.
"That's so sweet of you, Ms. Astrella. We are beyond honored to receive such kind words coming from you," Tessa said. She seems ecstatic about this, but I feel like I'm about to throw up. "You guys could have asked another painter, but you chose Calista," she added.
Ivo smiled at Tessa and replied, "I couldn't think of anyone else. It has to be her," he paused for a moment. Then his gaze is back at me again, "It has to be you," No. It can be anyone else, but here you are. "Thank you for meeting us today, Calista."
My heart pounded against my ribcage. The way he said my name, feeling goosebumps and tingles, erupt all over my skin. I didn't like the way he said my name. There's a hidden threat there, and I glared at him.
My eyes moved from Ivo to Kaede. She touched his left arm and caressed it as if to soothe him. They grinned at each other like an inside joke passed through them, and I hated every moment of it.
He used to look at me that way. Ivo used to be the brightest star in the darkest days of my life, and his arms were the safest place I've ever been, but now that star is shining for someone else and providing safety and comfort for someone else.
And I am here, watching them as they looked at each other with unspoken words of love and adoration.
My vision blurred. I blinked and cleared my throat, "Excuse me. I badly need to go to the comfort room."
I had to pull away from the scene because I am afraid of what I'm feeling right now. I knew when I saw them, and I was not Calista. I'm Skyla all over again.
"Calista!" Tessa called, but I ignored her.
"Is she okay? She looks so pale," I heard Kaede asked.
"I'm so sorry. The event probably exhausted her last night, and she is feeling a bit under the weather today," Tessa said apologetically.
I didn't hear Kaede's response to Tessa because I am already far, but I can tell that Ivo is watching me as I walked away from them. I went straight to the comfort room and entered the empty cubicle. I closed the toilet lid and sat down on it.
There's tightness in my throat. I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. In the previous years, my panic attacks would wake me up in the middle of the night. Thanks to Tessa, I somehow learned how to stop them every time they come.
Focusing on taking deep breaths in and out through my mouth, feeling the air slowly fill my chest and belly and then slowly leaves them again. Breathe in for a count of four, hold for a second, and then breathe out for a count of four.
"Often, when in the throes of anxiety, we feel as if it will last forever, and that makes us panic more," Tessa said as she watched me practice my breathing. I had another panic attack last night. Kev called her again today for another session.
"That's why it's important to remind yourself that this panic-filled moment won't last forever. Enter this mantra, Calista. Repeat 'this too will pass' in rhythm with your breath," her voice was soft and kind.
I repeated the mantra like a prayer until my body relaxed. Seeing Ivo again is triggering a lot of things in me. I don't know what to do about it. I never mentioned Ivo in my sessions with Tessa, simply because I didn't want to remember him at all. Since every time I remember Ivo, my chest hurts. Everything about him reminds me of his betrayal.
After all these years, it only took one look, and I am completely undone. All the defenses and walls I've built to prepare for this moment crumbled.
I grabbed my phone and sent Tessa a quick message.
To: Tessa
Hey, I am going home. I need some rest. See you.
After a few more minutes of deep breathes, I finally calmed down. I used the exit behind the restaurant so Tessa and her companions wouldn't see me. I left the restaurant, not knowing where will I go next. I turned off my phone and started driving.
I drove around the city nonstop. I was amazed at how the city changed in the past years. Some places looked familiar, and some not. A lot of things have changed, yet somehow some things remained the same. I had so many good memories in this city. I had a lot of bad ones too.
I got out of my car after parking it in front of Welston University. I stared at the familiar school in front of me. Welston University didn't change much, but I'm sure the people in it did. I had a lot of great memories here.
I was cramming for my exams, taking photos for the school paper, and hanging out with my friends inside the campus. Remembering the days I had with Alexavia, Tyrone, and Aoede. They were one of the most important memories of my university life. I sighed. What am I doing? I shouldn't be reminiscing the past. I haven't even thought of them for the past seven years, so why now?
Perhaps seeing Ivo did something to me. I gave the school one last look and turned my heels to go back inside my car, but something stopped me. I felt a pull on the hem of my dress, and when I looked down, a little girl is staring right back at me. How long has she been standing next to me? I didn't even notice her.
My eyes narrowed at her, and the little girl smiled at me. "Hi," her voice was soft but cheery.
"Hello?" I asked. I tightly smiled, "Can I help you?"
She shook her small head, and her dark brown curls moved in the process. "No, you can't help me, but I think you're beautiful."
"Thank you," I paused. I looked around, but no one seems to look for a missing kid. I smiled at her and asked, "Where are your parents? Why are you here alone? It's not good to talk to strangers," I said.
"It's okay. I think you're very nice."
"How can you tell?" I asked. Her parents are probably looking for her.
"I just know," she replied with a smile. "Can you stay with me for now?"
I wanted to say no, but I nodded anyway. "Sure. I have a lot of time today. I can be your big sister for today," her mouth broke a toothy grin.
I can tell that she's a sweet girl and from a well-off family basing it on her clothes. It's too dangerous for her to be out here. I held out my hand to her, and she took it. We walked over to an empty bench and sat down.
"What's your name?" I asked.
"I'm Ainsley. What's your name?"
I smiled and replied, "Calista. So, tell me, Ainsley. What seems to be the problem?"
The little girl grinned. Her green eyes are sparkling with curiosity. She bowed her head and replied, "I ran away from my parents." I shook my head in disbelief. How old is she? She's probably not older than seven years old. Am I hearing things?
"What?!" I couldn't stop myself from raising my voice because her answer shocked me.
She nodded her head and played the hem of her dress, "My mommy didn't want to marry my daddy," her lips are pouting.
"Oh," I mumbled.
She crossed her arms against her small body and turned to me, "Why? I don't understand. I ran away from them because I want to ask someone why my mommy didn't want to marry my daddy," she added with a quiver in her voice. I can see the frustration in her face.
"Are you upset about it?" I asked gently.
She nodded. Her green eyes welled up with tears, "I want them to be together."
I rubbed her back and said, "It's okay. Perhaps your mommy and daddy need more time?" I offered.
I don't know what's going on with her parents, but they had her at a young age. Perhaps they didn't want to commit to the married life yet because of personal reasons. I am just guessing here, and I don't even know how to explain it to such a young girl.
"How much time?" A tear fell from her eyes, and she immediately wiped it off with her sleeve, "How much time do they need? 100? 200? 300?"
I honestly do not know what to tell her. I only had one romantic relationship in my life, and that one didn't even last long. Marriage never crossed my mind, and this girl sitting next to me just asked me how much time her parents need for them to get married.
But I want to put a smile on her face. I took her small hands in mine, "I don't know, but I'm sure they love each other."
Ainsley sniffed, "How can you tell?"
I poked her button nose with my finger, "Because they have you, Ainsley."
Her features softened. "Do you think they are looking for me?"
"Of course! They're probably worried," I stood up from the bench and said, "Come on. Let's get you home," Ainsley nodded.
Her hand is so small and fragile. The urge to protect this little girl is so strong. I just met her a few minutes ago, and she has me wrapped in her finger already. If she's my niece, I would probably that one Aunt who spoils her nieces and nephews.
"I'll tell mommy about you, and then maybe we can see each other again?" Ainsley suggested.
I nodded at her, although this will probably the last time. I replied, "Sure. We can eat ic---"
"Ainsley!!"
"Mommy! Daddy!"
We looked at the source of the voice. Ainsley immediately let go of my hand and ran towards her. My eyes widened at the sight before me. I only saw her for a brief moment last night, but she still looked the same. She doesn't look like someone in her late twenties.
To me, Alexavia still looks like a twenty-one-year-old university student. Now I know why those green eyes looked so familiar. Noah grinned at Ainsley and carried her in his arms. He kissed both of her cheeks, which made Ainsley giggle.
And Noah still looked the same as the last time I saw him seven years ago, we don't know each other that well, but he has helped me a lot back then. Seeing them together brings back some memories I have buried a long time ago. The three of us were together, and we saw how Anthony shot himself in the face.
What's with this day?
Why am I seeing the people I have loved and hated in the same day? Are we having some kind of reunion that I am not aware of? I am not ready to face her yet, because as much as I have missed her. I couldn't change the fact that I ran away and left her without a word. I owe Alexavia an explanation as her best friend.
Alexavia and I stared at each other. I am not expecting to see her here. And most importantly, she's a mother now. My gaze traveled from Alexavia to Noah. I'm sure Ainsley will grow into a beautiful girl someday. After all, her parents are crazily good-looking.
I gave a small smile and turned my heels to leave. Just like with Ivo, every atom of my being wants to run away from this situation. But Alexavia's voice stopped me. "That's it? No hello or hi? Are you not going to ask me how I've been? Are you going to leave again without notice? Just like seven years ago?"
There's anger in Alexavia's voice, and her mouth is set in a hard line. I prepared for a lot of things but not this one. When I left seven years ago, I never thought of coming back to this place.
I planned to start anew somewhere far and forget everything. Leaving those I loved behind. Leaving my only best friend back.
"Is mommy angry?" Ainsley asked Noah.
Noah glanced at my direction, shook his head, and said, "No, Mommy just missed her best friend. She missed her a lot."
"Calista is mommy's best friend?"
"Yes, and right now, they're about to have a heart to heart talk," Noah explained to her daughter.
Sighing, "Alexavia, I' m--"
"No," she walked over to me with an angry face. Alexavia grabbed my wrist and said, "We're going to talk, and I do not take no for an answer. I'll drag you if I have to, Skyla. I'm not going to let you go again."
I guess the seven years didn't change Alexavia's stubborn attitude. She dragged me to her car with Noah and Ainsley behind us. Then her daughter asked, "Mommy, is Calista going home with us? Is she going to be my big sister?"
Alexavia slammed the car door then replied with a strong voice, "Yes!"
All I could do was sigh. Seven years may have passed, yet some things remained the same. Alexavia is still my best friend, and I wouldn't even complain if she drags me to hell.
Thirty minutes later, I found myself in their living room. Ainsley wanted to stay and talk to me, but Noah whispered something to her ear and agreed to go with him. Alexavia only stared at me and didn't speak.
The awkwardness is killing me, and I feel like I'm about to have another panic attack if this silence continues. I know she got a lot of questions to ask me, and I am not prepared to answer them all, but I am also aware that she's my best friend, and she deserves the truth. I have hurt her for leaving seven years ago.
Then another moment passed, and Alexavia said, "Your boobs got bigger. Did you get a boob job?"
I couldn't stop myself from grabbing the cushion, and I threw it at her. "My boobs are natural, bitch!"
Alexavia caught it swiftly and threw it back at me, "How would I know? You were gone for seven years, Skyla! And you don't need to be shy. There's nothing wrong with getting a boob job."
"Why in the hell would I get a boob job?!"
"I don't know! You tell me!
"No, you tell me! What made you say I had a boob job?!"
"Because your boobs weren't that big seven years ago!"
"Why are we even talking about my boobs?!"
"Should we talk about my boobs then?!"
"Why would we talk about your boobs?!"
"Because you don't want to talk about your boobs and your boob job!"
"I didn't get a boob job!"
"Okay, Miss my-boobs-are-natural!"
Sighing, I replied, "You're crazy, Alexavia."
She paused for a moment and whispered, "I missed you, Skyla."
I gave her a sad smile, "I missed you too," I really did. "Alexavia, I'm sorry--"
"You don't have to be sorry about anything, Skyla. And you don't need to tell me anything for now. I can wait. I'm just happy to see you again," she whispered.
Tears filled my eyes, but I blinked them all away. I didn't want this to be some sad reunion. Smiling brightly at her, I said, "Me too, Alexavia."
I paused to look at her. Nothing has changed about her. It felt awkward to be around her a few minutes ago, but it's all gone now. I feel like I just saw her last week, and we're finally catching up after our busy schedule. I noticed how her skin glowed, still beautiful and vibrant.
"Ainsley is beautiful," I said.
Alexavia smiled at me, "Indeed. She's a bit of a troublemaker like her father."
"Those green eyes of hers do not lie. I can't believe she ran away," I mused. Then I asked, "You and Noah?" I can't help the smirk on my lips.
She blushed and rolled her at me. "He was there for me when you left, Skyla," Alexavia closed her eyes, "Anthony's death did something to me too."
When I left seven years ago, I didn't think of any of the people whom I cared for. I was focused on myself. I didn't know who I might hurt once I leave, and I wished I told her that, because of all people, Alexavia would understand. She's one of the fewest people who get me.
"I'm sorry, Alexavia. I'm so sorry," Tears finally fell from my eyes. I didn't stop them this time.
"I had my regrets, too, Skyla. I should have been more persistent in asking you questions because I knew you were hiding something from me, but I acted like I didn't notice anything. That one time, you were gone for almost three weeks to God knows where I should have been nosy. I should have asked you questions. I should have been persistent even if you'd find me annoying. If only I knew some of the things you were hiding, then maybe I could have done something," there's regret in her voice, and I frantically shook my head at her.
"No, it's my fault. You were my best friend and Anthony's friend too, but I left with no goodbyes, not thinking of what might have Anthony's death caused you too. I was only thinking about myself, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Skyla, you're like a sister to me. I wished you have told me what troubles you, but that's not what is important now. I'm not angry with you. I wanted to, but I couldn't. You were hurting more than I did. I'm just happy you're here. You're my best friend, and that didn't change even after all these years," I stood up from the sofa and sat next to her. I wrapped my arms around her. She chuckled but held my hand too.
We were both crying while trying to comfort one another. Then a comfortable silence. My head on her shoulders and my arms wrapped around her waist like a child.
Alexavia squeezed my hand with an assurance of never changing friendship. We both sat quietly in the living room, just enjoying each other's presence.
She wiped her tears with her free hand. "Your Ainsley's godmother. You missed to spoil her with gifts, so you have to make it up to her, then I can forgive you."
I laughed and said, "I will. I will make sure to get everything she needs. I will be that rich Aunt in her life," we both giggled like high school girls, then I said, "You and Noah look good together. How did it happen?"
"One thing led to another, and here we are. A family," she said. "But it wasn't easy, Skyla," there was sadness in her eyes as she recalls the memory in her mind.
"You don't have to tell me, Alexavia, if the memory will upset you," I said.
"Don't worry about it. Don't want to hear the seven years update about me?" she joked.
"I want to," I replied.
"Don't interrupt me. Just listen," Alexavia then continued, "Do you remember the day when I forced you to go clubbing with me?" I nodded my head. She persuaded me to accompany her in 69 East. It was also the same night when I got into an accident. "Remember the text I sent you?" she asked.
"Yeah, you told me you left with some guy," Alexavia grinned like a fox, and I slapped her right arm, "That guy was Noah?!"
She caressed the arm I hit and nodded. "Yeah, imagine how surprised I was seeing him with you as your boyfriend."
"Why didn't you tell me?!" I exclaimed.
"How could I tell you? Do I just casually say, 'Hey, best friend. I fucked your boyfriend some months ago. Glad to know that we have the same taste in men' to you? It was a one-night stand! I didn't expect him to see him again after a few months."
"Were you in love with him?" I asked her.
Damn. I feel guilty. Alexavia was never serious about her past relationships. Still, if she was in love with Noah during our fake relationship, then I might have hurt her more than I could imagine.
Alexavia smirked and said, "He made my vagina tingle, but not my heart, Skyla." I slapped her arm again, "Ouch! We haven't seen each other for seven years, and you're already assaulting me!"
"Be serious, Alexavia!"
"I'm dead serious, Skyla," she said.
"Do you love him?" I asked again.
Alexavia looked me in the eyes. "When I first met Noah, it was just a one-time thing, but the tragedy of Anthony's death brought us closer. I had nightmares of that day. He helped me recover from my panic attacks. I didn't realize I was giving my heart to him. It made me feel guilty because you were gone. I may not take romantic relationships seriously, but you were my friend. Whether your relationship with Noah was fake, it didn't feel right for me to have feelings for him."
"It was all for a show," I said. I only agreed to have a fake relationship with Noah to delay my engagement with Anthony. I didn't think she would feel guilty of having feelings on someone because of me.
Her eyes flickered with anger, "I know, Skyla. Noah told me you had to do it because you wanted to impede the engagement that your scum of an Uncle decided."
I ignored the mention of my Uncle. "Is this why you didn't want to marry Noah because of me?"
She slightly winced, "I want to marry him, but I don't know it doesn't feel right without you around, Skyla. I don't know everything, but Noah told me some things about what has been going on with you. He told me about the mafia, Ivo, and Costa's."
"Alexavia, you don't need t---"
"I know you have suffered and endured so much for the past years. I am so in love with Noah, yet a piece of my heart is missing because you were gone. I can't imagine myself moving on with my life when you're out there fighting your silent battles alone. I imagined getting married to Noah and you as my bridesmaid," Alexavia explained.
I didn't think I'd feel it again, but Alexavia's words pierced my heart with warmth. I grabbed her hand, squeezed it, "I can be your bridesmaid anytime, Alexavia. You don't need to delay it anymore. Get married and be happy because I'll be here with you." As long as I can, but I didn't say those words to her.
We hugged each other. "I'd never thought I'd see the day. I'm so in love with that green-eyed bastard," Alexavia sniffed.
I let go of her first. Remembering something important, I asked, "Wait. Do you know that Noah is an a---"
"Yes, I know. Noah's an assassin, and it hasn't been easy having a relationship to one. His parents disapprove of us," Alexavia whispered.
"But why?"
"I was told that I am an outsider, and there's no room for me in their little crime family. And you know me, Skyla, I am stubborn as hell. I didn't give a shit about the fact that Noah and his entire family are a bunch of criminals. I loved him, and that's what matters to me. Well, Noah and I are both stubborn. Then the unthinkable happened. One day, I got home with Noah and Ainsley gone," Alexavia took a deep breath before continuing her story.
"The Genovese family kidnapped them. They left me a note saying I didn't listen to them, so the family took matters into their own hands. I cried and didn't eat for days. I didn't know where to find them. I didn't know where to turn to. I was just lost. Then one day, I woke up. I began my search for them because I refused to give up. I want my family back. The police helped, but their efforts are not enough."
I was too shocked to say something. I can't believe that Alexavia has to go through such things. After a moment, I asked, "How did you find them?"
"Family GPS tracker, I didn't know I had one until I saw it on my phone. Noah probably installed it while I wasn't looking. Perhaps he knew something would happen. To make the long story short, I threatened the entire Genovese family. I have enough evidence to put all of them in jail. Eventually, they let go of Noah and Ainsley, but a few days after their release. I burned their estate down," a ghost-smile formed in her lips.
"You did what?!"
"I didn't want to give up Noah. I love him too much. And I didn't want for Ainsley to grow up without a father. I thought that if I lose another person in my life, then I'm going to send myself to a psychiatric ward because losing Noah and Ainsley would make me a madwoman, Skyla."
I'm temporarily rendered speechless. Alexavia has fought for Noah and Ainsley all alone. She did it to save the people her family, and I can't imagine how much pain she has to go through.
I've always known that she's strong-willed and stubborn, especially for those she loves, but what this one is different. Alexavia put her life in the line just to get them back.
"How about Noah's family? What if they come after you guys again?"
"That worries me too, but trust me, they won't. Not with me alive."
I can see the determination she has in her eyes. She might not have changed so much physically, but Alexavia grew stronger and more mature. I'm just sad I wasn't here to witness it. She's an amazing woman, and I'm proud to call her my friend.
She poked my side, "Why did you turn quiet?"
"I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you, Alexavia."
The corner of her mouth sadly quirked up, "And I'm sorry too, Skyla. I wasn't there to help you too." We smiled at each other. I'm truly blessed to have a friend like her. Alexavia then surveyed my face, "It's probably the last thing you wanted to talk about, but did you meet Ivo?"
I immediately looked away from her gaze. "Yes," I said softly.
"He was in a complete mess when you left him, Skyla," Alexavia said gently. "He looked for you everywhere for five years. Ivo visited me a few times in those years to ask if you have finally reached out to me, but I told him no every time, and each of those times, I have watched him silently break. Yet, he hoped for you."
"What for? I left for a reason, and I don't regret it," I said.
"Are you sure?"
"Of course. Leaving Ivo was the best decision I did."
"Then why are you crying, Skyla?"
My hands reached for my face. I felt the wetness of my tears on my fingers, and I immediately wiped them away with the back of my hand.
Alexavia watched me with concern in her almond eyes, and I released a forced laugh, "Because I missed you, that's why I am crying," I said.
"Skyla, do you still love him?"
Kev asked me the same question weeks ago, and my reply was abrupt. This time? My mouth only opened and closed. I can't tell her no, but I can't tell her yes too. I just don't know. What the hell is wrong with me?
Am I still in love with Ivo? I didn't know how to respond to what Alexavia just told me.
She spoke again and said, "I don't know what happened between you two, but I know there's a reason why you left him. You might have done it to save him and yourself, but it only brought pain for the two of you."
Why would I be still in love with the man who betrayed me? I'm not foolish.
"Alexavia, Ivo, and I are done. What happened seven years ago between us is something I just want to forget. Besides, he's getting married. He has moved on. I have moved on."
"Ivo's getting married to the woman he doesn't even love, Skyla!"
"They love each other. I have seen how they looked at each other last night and this morning," I breathed.
Remembering the stolen glances, Ivo sent her way. The way he caressed and held Kaede's hands. And how he tightly hugged her. I wish I can burn these images to ashes.
"Because that's what Ivo wants you to see!" Alexavia half-shouted. I can see the frustration in her face.
I shook my head at her, "Why are you telling me this? Can we change the topic, please? We can talk about anything but Ivo."
"I'm telling you this because I have seen the man deeply in love and wounded by you for five years, Skyla."
"That was five years ago, Alexavia. He has moved on during the sixth year, and I am happy to see that he's doing well in life. I'll find my happiness too, but not with him. Not with the man who betrayed me."
Her brows furrowed, "I just hope you won't regret this, Skyla. But the problem is you will at some point in time. At any given moment, you think of him or see him, and you'll wonder what might have happened if you'd just fought for what you guys had. I don't want to see regret eat you alive."
I don't know what she sees in my eyes, but I won't change my mind and heart about how I feel to Ivo. I replied, "I am not going to regret anything, Alexavia."
With a small smile, she answered, "You can deny it all you want, but the eyes never lie."
I ignored her remark and immediately changed the subject, "Anyway, this is nice and all, but I have to leave." I stood from the chair and grabbed my purse.
"That soon?"
"I'm sorry. I have things to do at home. And Kev is probably waiting for me."
"Kev? Kev Conti??
I don't blame her for being surprised at all. I thought Kev was after my life seven years ago, but it turns out that my grandfather, Allesandro Costa, hired him to watch over me. I want to tell her about it, but I can't for now.
"Yes, the one and only."
"What?! Why?! I don't understand, Skyla. Tell me, please."
"I will tell you next time, but not now because I have to go."
Alexavia looked at me with sad eyes, she pouted, "Will I see you again? This won't be the last time, right?"
There's worry in her voice. "I'll see you soon. I promise," she nodded, and we hugged each other before saying our goodbyes.
When I reached home, Kev was waiting for me in the living room and the smell of alcohol is evident in the entire living room. This is my first time to see him drinking again. He only drinks when there's an occasion to celebrate.
"Where were you?" he asked without looking at me. His attention is on the glass of brandy he's holding.
"Alexavia's," I simply said.
"Ohhh, that one catty friend of yours?" Kev slurred.
I chuckled, "Yes, and she's not catty."
I walked to him and stood between his legs, taking the glass of brandy from his hands and drinking it. I felt his hands on my waist and said, "I missed you today, Kev."
His hands slowly dropped to my thighs and caressed it. "Hmm, I find that quite hard to believe."
Gently grabbed his face with my two hands. I kissed his forehead and smiled down to him, "Come on now. Let's get you to bed, Kev. You're drunk."
I pulled him by his arms, but he didn't budge. He gave me a twisted smile, "Are you happy to see him again?"
I let go of his hand. "No," I said.
"Really?"
"Yes, Kev."
"Then why did you look so sad last night when you watched Ivo and Kaede?"
"You're drunk and imagining things," I held his hand again and pulled him up from the couch, "Let's get some sleep."
Kev lazily smiled at me. When he's finally standing, his arms circled my waist to hug me. He rested his chin on my left shoulder and whispered, "I have seen you at your worst, but last night, you wore the saddest look on your pretty face. And I watched you from afar. It dawned to me that you never looked at me the way you looked at Ivo, Skyla. Because those eyes of yours only looked at one man. It fucking hurts."
My heart broke at his words. Kev doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve. He's too careful, but at this very moment, I saw the vulnerable side of him. And he probably won't remember this tomorrow. I closed my eyes. Wrapping my arms around him, I pressed my lips against his. I silently prayed to anyone who is listening, 'I want to love this man. Please let me love Kev.'