Gabby's POV
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Four months. For four months I didn't see her face at all. I knew we were on a good terms right now since we communicated more intense and she seemed okay with whatever it was between us even though we didn't get back together. I didn't mind to wait for her, I was now ready to settle down with one person so if she was the right person after all this time, then I was sure she'd come back to me.
I sent her a good morning text like I always did for the past four months. I knew it was silly but it was better than I did nothing to her. I sent an attachment, it was me laying on my bed, just waking up and my hair was messy but still kept smiling for her.
She didn't reply me for hours, then I got a reply at noon. She said good morning too, sending me a picture of papers on her desk. I laughed, she was a boss after all. I was now sitting on a chair in my office, didn't have a clue of what to do because my mind occupied with Jordan.
I knew what I had done in the past was the worst thing I had ever did. It was stupid and now I paid the price. I didn't want to lose her again, oh god. It had been almost eleven years and we just made up for a second but it turned out like this.
Why was I so stupid? Why did I not wait for her to explain? Why did I choose to hurt her when she did nothing?
I banged my head on the table, then I felt my phone vibrated. It was a message from Jordan and it made my day.
10.47 AM Jordan Miller
I miss you.
10.48 AM Gabrielle Rodriguez
I miss you more. I wish you were here.
Jordan didn't reply anymore so I chose to work because I had two people to feed, myself and my daughter. Then when the day ended, I went home to take some rest. Allie was in the living room, the TV was on and she was studying something.
I kissed the top of her head, greeting her and then I headed to the kitchen to grab some water. I knew it was exhausting when you no longer young anymore but my guts told me that it was worth the wait. I had no idea why I had this strong feelings towards her like we were meant to be together. It was hard, but I didn't want to stop.
Call me stupid because I kept waiting for her. But our love was something you could never imagine. And of course, life messed me up again. I fucked up. I just wished she'd forgive me.
"I miss her, Mom." Allie said all of sudden.
"Me too, baby. Me too." I hugged her. "I'm sorry I did this to you too. I didn't know that it hurts you too, baby. I'm sorry."
Allie shook her head. "It's okay, Mom. Real love is never easy, right? If it's easy, then there's no mistake and there will be no lesson to take."
I smiled. "Thank you, baby."
"Go get some rest, okay? I don't want you to get sick. You work too hard lately, Mom." Allie kissed my cheek, I chuckled.
Then I left her to freshen up myself. I stayed in the bathroom for almost an hour before I went to bed, reminiscing the old times, what I had been through, what I had done and what I got. The answer was only about Jordan and Allie. They were the sources of my happiness and I'd do anything to keep them both safe in my arms.
*
Now we were on the sixth month of being separated for the second time. She was still out there, doing her business and didn't come back at all. She missed Allie's 17th birthday and somewhat I felt Allie blamed me on this one and I mentally confirmed it.
Jordan was a little bit distant lately. She didn't pick up my calls again. She gave me late reply everytime I texted her. I didn't know where she was since I promised myself to give her some space and now it got my nerves. She was gone again.
I wanted to be mad but I couldn't. I was the one to blame. I caused this. I hurt her. I hurt Allie and I hurt myself. I had no idea what to do but I kept waiting. I promised that to her long time ago. Sometimes I saw her on her social media that she enjoyed her life, Allie showed me some of her pictures while she was out there exploring amazing places in the world.
But I wished I was there with her, enjoying the world just the both of us for the rest of our lives but I knew it cost me a lifetime to do that because well, I didn't know where she was.
The last picture of her was in Santorini but she didn't give me the detail like she used to do. She used to tell me where she was going to and what she was doing in there and when the meeting was done, etc. But now? None. There was no explanation to where she was and what she did and somehow it made me sad.
"You okay, hun?" Anne asked me.
I left a loud huff. "I'm fine."
Anne scoffed. "No, you're not." She sat across from me. "Just tell her if you missed her. Let her know."
"Well, I won't disturb her just because I missed her, Anne." I sighed. "I'll let her do whatever she needs to do. And if she's the one for me then she will be here one day."
"You're not tired of waiting for her?" Anne furrowed her brows.
I smiled halfheartedly. "She waited for me for ten years, Anne. And how long do I wait for her, six months? It's not that bad. I know she'll come back to me. I just don't know when."
"It's not that I disagree with you but you need to take care of yourself too, hun. I know you're madly in love with her but until when you will let yourself be alone if you don't know when she will be back? You'll wait forever?" Anne asked. "You're no longer young, hun. Just let her know if you missed her."
"I'll text her tonight. Even though I know she won't reply it." I mumbled on the last part.
"Good luck, hun." Anne walked to my side and hugged me. "I hope everything is fine for the both of you."
"Thank you." I replied sincerely.
Later on that night when I was already to sleep, I kept looking at the ceiling and battling with my own mind. And I had decided.
01.36 AM Gabrielle Rodriguez
I've missed you. Just wanted to tell you that.
But yeah, as what I had been guessed, she didn't reply it at all. I sighed. It had been two days since I texted her but I never saw a reply from her.
I started to doubt myself, was I strong enough to wait for her? Was she out there enjoying herself without me and she was fine knowing she could live without me?
What if I wasn't capable of making her love me again? What if she walked away from me once she found someone more beautiful and was as same as her social status? Of course I wasn't rich enough, I was just a bar manager for god's sake while out there she could meet someone better than me, never cheated on their previous partner before.
"Fuck." My mind was messing with me.
No, I had to believe in myself than she'd come back to me.
My door cracked open. Allie came into view. I smiled, she smiled at me and laid her back beside me, she cuddled me, placing her head on my shoulder, I stroked her head. This Sunday was our lazy day without Jordan.
If Jordan were here, she'd like to make brunch with Allie and I sat there on the kitchen island, waiting for them to finish the cooking.
"Are you okay, Mom?" Allie whispered.
I couldn't contain my tears anymore. I sobbed, Allie hugged me tighter. "I'm trying to be, baby."
"I, uh, I saw a picture last night. Jordan is in Italy right now." Allie informed me.
I nodded. "I'm happy for her. Thank you for telling me."
I felt Allie nodded. "It's okay, Mom. Everything will be okay."
I kissed Allie's head. "Thank you, baby."
"Come on, get up. I'll cook brunch." Allie kissed my cheek before she got up and leaving me to head to the kitchen.
Allie made brunch for us and there was a silence atmosphere in here. Jordan usually talked to Allie, asking her about school or how the things with Becca, or simply joking to each other and I was the one who enjoyed the view.
But it was the umpteenth time we ate our brunch in silence. Allie squeezed my hand, I forced a smile and saying that I was okay.
I'll wait for you as long as I can, J. I stated to myself.
And I got the answer at the end of the day. One hundred and eighty days of waiting for her to come back home, she sent me a simple message that really broke my heart.
No, scratch that. It broke my entire world.
7.35 PM Jordan Miller
I'm sorry, G. You don't have to wait for me again. You've done enough.