The bustling noise of people greeted me as I walked into the cafeteria. People munching and slurping, chatting endlessly, laughing or giggling. The usual atmosphere in every dining area. Some familiar faces could be spotted. My classmates, senior or junior, and the Aotake guys? I decided to go buy my lunch first then head to the table they were seating.
"Heyo, guys", I greeted them with a peace sign. They all turn towards me simultaneously at my greeting. "Can I sit with you guys?", I pointed to the empty seat in front of Yuki where I'm currently standing behind it.
"Yes, please take a seat (Y/N)-san", Shindou said as the others were still munching their food.
"Thank you", I said as I took a seat. Wasting no time, I unwrap the onigiri I brought just now and take a bite out of it. When I noticed their gaze on me, I asked them. "What? is there something on my face?", I said after swallowing the food.
"Don't tell me that's all for your lunch?", Yuki asked me in disbelief.
"Yeah, I have class after this so I don't want to feel too full", I answered and took another bite.
"If it were me, I can't have enough with just that", Jota commented. Joji nodded in agreement.
"Well, I forgot my bentou and I'm already used to this amount. Two or three onigiri is enough as a lunch", I said. This time, they have a worried expression. "Ah, how's the training so far? I bet Haiji-san has increased the practice, right?", I said, changing the topic.
"Well, he did. But, King-san didn't join us lately", Musa said with a sad face.
"That's right, he's been busy searching for a job", Joji added.
"Also, we don't have any budget for the club", Shindou sighed.
"I guess there's no helping it with an abandoned club like us", Yuki said as a matter of fact. He did have a point. I've never heard of Track and Field Club before.
"Then... how about some advertisement?", I suggested as an idea crossed my mind. They all look up to me in a flash. "No- because, people still don't know much that the club is active or even existed. So, why not we advertise it? It's just my opinion though", I explained clearly. They become silent for a moment, processing what I had said. "I-its okay to not think about it now. Then, I'll go first. My class is quite far from here so see you guys later", I get up and fix my bag. Waving to them, they bid goodbye back and continue eating. "Good to know they're all working hard for the club", I muttered. A soft smile formed on my lips as I walked towards my class.
🍃
As I was making way back to the parking area with the groceries I brought from the market, my eyes caught the hunched figure of King. We were walking in the opposite way but it seems he is too caught in his own thoughts that he doesn't even notice he had walked past me.
"King-san!", I called out to him before he could walk further away. He turned around and looked kind of shocked when he saw me. "Good evening, are you on your way home?", I greeted him as I walked near him.
"Y-yeah", he replied, not meeting my eyes. Guessing from his formal attire, it seems he just got back from job hunting.
"Ne King-san, I am amazed at how you worked hard in finding a job", I started, catching his attention.
"No, this is normal though. Job is something we have to do after all", he said in fact.
"Well, I'm kind of jealous of you since I don't even have a future job. Let alone work hard to find a job", I scratched my cheek with a smile.
"What's the use of working hard when no one wants to accept you", he scoffed. King who's usually awkward around me has snapped. "I heard your grade is quite good so I don't think you have to worry about your future job. I bet you can even choose whichever offer you get", King smirk, adding some remarks as he folded his arm across his chest.
"You're wrong, King-san. I might have a good grade but what decides our future is our own interest or you'll feel empty inside your heart", I said with a serious tone. King's left-eyebrow cocked upwards as his smirk dropped. Looking him straight in the eyes, I continue. "What is your first reason for joining the run with the other guys? Was it because you were forced?", I asked.
"That is... Haiji said it could help me with getting a job. But, it's a waste of time! I could use all of the time to search for a job instead. You should be able to understand it", King said in annoyance.
"Yeah, I understand. But, isn't waiting for a job that is not guaranteed is a waste of time too?", I asked him back. He gasped at the question. Smiling softly, I pat his left shoulder with my unoccupied hand. "Actually, I'm jealous of you King-san. You have friends who are worrying over you. Without your presence and your usual boasting, Aotake is different. Why don't you try to run with them first then see if what Haiji-san said is true. If you still don't get accepted in any company, then even I'll join you in blaming Haiji-san", I grinned with a thumbs up. His eyes widen for a second then turn his face away. "Then, I hope to see the usual boast-y King-san the next time I visit", I said then turned around to my supposed direction. Before I walked further away, I added. "Also, please talk to me casually like you did just now. King-san is my senior and my friends too. See you, King-san!", I waved as a goodbye. I didn't wait for him to reply as I continued walking to my scooter. Now that I think about it... what do I really want to do in the future? I can't even break the wall of my greatest regret yet I talked big. What a dumb act you put on, (Y/N).
🍃
"I'm home~", Hana's voice came from the entrance.
"Welcome back", I replied casually with my eyes not leaving the TV.
"(Y/N)-nee, why didn't you tell me?", she starts asking out of the blue as she leans forward on the sofa I'm sitting at.
"About what?", I asked back after glancing at her.
"The drawing! Jota and Joji said that you drew the small chibi faces of the Aotake on their shirt. The white Hakone Ekiden shirt! Is that true?!", Hana asked eagerly. Her enthusiasm made me sweat.
"Err, yeah I did since Shindou-san asked for my help earlier at the campus. But, why are you getting so fired up by that?", I tilted my head with a confused face.
"It's CUTE! The faces of the guys in their chibi version is SUPER CUTE!! I never knew you could draw (Y/N)-nee", Hana squealed.
"Ohh, I guess...hahah...", an awkward laugh escaped my lips. "ah, how are the advertisements going? Were there people signed up for the fan club?", I asked as Hana took a seat on the sofa.
"Yeah! We got some people from the shopping district, it was so fun!", she sighed in content.
"I'm glad things are going well", I smiled as my eyes traveled back to the TV. The channel currently airing a cooking programme.
"I'm going to time them tomorrow evening. You're not going to join, (Y/N)-nee?", she asked.
"Hmm... I have to help prepare the dinner so it might be impossible. That reminds me, can you send my apology to Haiji-san for not joining their practice lately? I felt really bad for joining them twice only... The track meet is nearing too. So, please do this one favor Hana!", I clapped my hand once in a pleading manner.
"I'll gladly do it for you (Y/N)-nee so you don't have to ask like that, hihi", Hana giggled at me. I laugh awkwardly with my hands rubbing the back of my head, a bit embarrassed by my own action. Well, this is my first time asking for Hana's help after all so I became a bit exaggerating. Good thing Hana is friendly. I really am blessed by choosing to live with them, my new family.
🍂
"It's unfortunate that you had quitted the swimming club when you're already qualified for the final regional competition... But, you're aiming for Kansei University in Kawasaki. Are you really sure about this?", my homeroom teacher asked. I replied with a single yes.
"If you really don't intend to continue swimming, I won't force you but I hope you'll consider it in the future. You have potential (L/N)-san. Kansei University is a normal college. They don't even have a swimming club there", she continued. Clenching my skirt, I forced a smile.
"It's fine. I planned to live with my relatives there so swimming is not what matters now. Thank you for giving me advice but I have decided my future plan. Sensei, I am satisfied with my decision. Thank you and excuse me", I left the classroom after bowing.
There's no turning back. I can never face the pool again with my current self. Right now, I'm just a normal girl with an empty heart. The sparks have gone. Striving for the best with nothing in mind. I am not talented from the start. I worked hard in everything I do. Like what mom teached me. 'Even if you're alone, don't give up'
.
.
.
"Hey, did you hear? (Y/N) quit the club. After winning at the final regional tournament, she dropped out of the club willingly"
"I guess even if it (Y/N), she still has time where she can't take it anymore right? I mean, she lost her parents so its normal for her to feel down at one time"
"right~ Though I'm still surprised she could win the semi-final tournament after her parents' loss. At first, I thought she is unbreakable but she is still a human"
"That's right, she said she wants to focus on her study now. It was weird too how she managed her grade well. Good at swimming and studying? It's rare to find people like her. So when I heard she wants to quit swimming, I can see that she is kind of lucky only. There's no way one can balance study and sport so well!"
That's what they would say behind me. I am strong enough to ignore it before but I'm getting bored of it. These girls will never be quiet until I show some weakness. Their fake smiling face when congratulating me in any race. And their relief expression whenever I lost in a race. It was obvious to me. The sparks of hope inside me gradually fade away as I face these criticisms. The words and faces of lies.
🍂
"(Y/N)-san, aren't you going back?", the faint voice of Ouji's snapped me out of my trance. I look up from the page I've been reading to see Ouji already with his bag, ready to leave the club room.
"O-oh, it's already 4 p.m. Yeah, I'm going now", I said as I put the manga in my bag and wear it over my shoulder. We walk out of the room. Ouji is silent as usual while we walk down the stairs.
"Did you just travel to the past?", he spoke, breaking the silence.
"Eh? Yeah, I did. A bad one at that", I said with a faint smile. Ouji hummed in response.
"We cannot change the past but we can learn from it. A new road will show up soon", Ouji said with his usual low tone. I smile at his words. Ouji's words always encourage me even if it's hard to understand sometimes.
"I don't know if my speculation is right but... since I met Haiji-san, I could feel that a new path is gradually opening up... maybe!", I chuckled at my foolish thinking. Ouji didn't reply though until we reached the entrance gate. "I heard you guys are going to the meet tomorrow. I don't know if I can join but I'll try to go see you guys off. Then, see you again Ouji-senpai!", I waved which he replied with a nod. Before we parted ways, Ouji left me some messages.
"If you really see the path then it's fine to believe in it. I'm sure you're going to find it. Your sparks"
¦"we cannot change the past but we can learn from it"
-Time (he), Alice Through the Looking Glass-¦