Flora
I had dinner with Sean on Friday night. We had been together for three months and in my world it was considered record-breaking. Three months! What a milestone! Three months was like a season, it meant all my favorite designers in Paris would put up a new line, and I couldn't believe our relationship had survived the whole winter. Sean lasted longer than my Mulberry Alexa bag! I knew better than to tell it to his face, though; he wouldn't like it that I was comparing him to my it bag.
When we were having coffee after the meal, he took out a wrapped present and placed it on the table.
"I know I've been really busy lately and I just want to say I'm sorry, but you're an amazing girlfriend," he said. "Thank you."
I loved presents! I didn't even think of getting him anything. I turned the box over in my hand, admiring the rich dark ribbon around it. "I didn't know you can wrap gifts."
"Linda did it for me. Having a sister really comes in handy," he said. "I find it nice to have her around sometimes, although the frequency is about once a year. I hope you like it."
"I'd definitely like anything you give me!" I tore open the wrapper in haste and saw he had given me a beret. It was in a very distinct shade of cobalt blue and I recognized it immediately. It was the very same one I had shown him in a page of Vogue.
"I'm not sure it's the same one," he said, "but this is the closest I can find. You have such great fashion sense I thought I should just buy what you want instead of picking out something myself-"
"I love it! You're so sweet!" I rubbed the material gently between my fingers, turning it over to admire it from a different angle.
He smiled, obviously relieved. I knew he thought it was a lot of pressure to buy me anything and I didn't blame him.
"I'm sorry I didn't get you anything," I said.
"That's fine. I just want to make it up to you."
Ever since he turned down my extravagant Christmas gift, a monogram duffel bag made by Louis Vuitton, I had trouble guessing what he liked. However, there was something I knew I could always offer him when the time was right.
My lips curled up in the seductive but not seedy way I'd been practicing to get right. "I have something special planned, though."
He raised his eyebrows briefly and waited for my big announcement.
"Remember I told you before that my parents have a beach house? Well, no one's using it this weekend and I think we can...you know...finally..." I was suddenly shy. Was there a more tactful way of approaching this?
He stared at me silently for a second before he spoke. "Really? Are you sure you're ready for that?"
"Positive."
He smiled and it made cute creases on his face. "You have to be sure because once we're there, there's no turning back. I won't be able to resist you."
"Mister, you're in big trouble if you resist me." We smiled at each other lovingly across the table. I was so ready for it. I was so sure this time and I almost couldn't wait for it.
"Wait, this weekend?" he asked. That was the beginning of all things unfortunate.
"Yes. We could go tomorrow evening. There's a fireplace, white sand outside, an outdoor Jacuzzi, a kitchen with champagne..." I counted off my fingers.
"Flora, I'm sorry. I don't think I can. I have to take my f=ma test Sunday morning, remember?"
I froze. He couldn't be serious. "Yeah, well, I know, but that's Sunday morning." I laughed uneasily. "Surely you don't need to study on Saturday?"
"I think I do," he said quietly. "And I'm really going to be very nervous the night before. I'm so sorry."
Ever seen the movie Carrie? No, not Carrie Bradshaw, but Stephen King's Carrie. She was standing on stage being crowned prom queen when someone pulled a cruel prank on her. One second she was smiling, the next she was drenched from head to toe with pig blood. That was how I felt at the moment. "Are you seriously turning down sex for studying?" I hissed.
"Maybe we can meet Sunday afternoon?"
"It's so not the same if we meet on Sunday afternoon!" I was too enraged to bother about volume control. "I can't believe you're turning me down for something as lame as USAPhO. I don't even know what that stands for!"
All of my bottled frustration and hurt rolled out like a knocked-over can of marbles. I was so sick of Sean rejecting me despite all my efforts. He should know better. There are some offers in life you just don't refuse, and that was definitely one of them!
Sean continued to try to explain but I was too angry to listen. We left the restaurant in a foul mood, and on the way back I could tell he was beginning to lose his patience. "Flora, I can keep apologizing if you want me to, but you're not listening to me anymore, so maybe we should just call it a night?"
Naturally that just made me madder. He was saying sorry but he didn't think he was wrong at all, and now he wouldn't even try to comfort me. No one treats me like this, I thought bitterly, fighting back angry tears. There was a sea of eligible bachelors out there yet I had to choose the only one who didn't give a damn when I was upset.
I was honestly burning with rage. Heat dashed through my body like a wild dragon, and if I opened my mouth I could probably spit fire, but I was afraid if I made a scene he would get mad too. Sean wasn't like all the other boys I dated who let me have my way all the time.
"Please just take me home," I said with the most civilized tone I could muster. I was half hoping he would just pull over and kiss me until I forgave him, but knowing Sean, I had better luck wishing for his stupid test to be canceled due to alien attack.
He pulled up in front of my building and I turned to face him, hoping he would come up with something nice to say.
"I'll speak with you when you're calmed down," he said, like I was a wounded, unreasonable child who wasn't able to communicate.
I threw open the door and got out. "I'll do you a favor. Don't call me until your damn test is over!" With that I slammed the door for theatrical effect.
I was so angry at him for not trying harder to console me, and I was angry at myself for not yelling all the things I wanted to.
***
On Saturday Sean called me once, but when I didn't pick up, he gave up. I figured just as well. I was still upset about the whole thing and if we talked we would've got into a huge fight, and I really didn't want to be held responsible if his test fell flat. I was weak and pathetic for caring about him so much.
I imagined what Sandra would do in this kind of situation. Obviously she would feed the guy to the lions if he didn't obey her every command. If I had a tenth of her guts I wouldn't just be sitting here sulking. I didn't know if I could take any more of this nonsense. I was crazy about Sean, but not being able to spend more time together and not being able to go out with other guys to distract me was beyond frustrating.
In the evening, Raymond Corbett called. He had been calling me often lately, mainly for aimless chats.
Now Raymond was a pretty interesting character. He had been my friend for a long time and I sincerely enjoyed his company. He was Mr. Nice Guy on the outside, friendly towards everyone, always throwing the best crazy parties where everyone was invited, and he was involved in all the important stuffs like student council.
He was the perpetual Prom King in public and vicious hater behind closed door. He had a problem with everything and you could easily offend him just by wearing the wrong color or a haircut he didn't approve. I kind of liked the fact he was that way as it made him more complex. He did excessive drinking sometimes and would often call me when he was drunk and blabber the most hilarious things. His parents didn't give an F about what he did as long as he produced a good report card.
Anyway whenever I wanted a good laugh I called Raymond, and Sean sort of knew this because he would find my line busy, but I always hung up on Ray immediately after telling him The King had called. Raymond thought I was an embarrassing sap when I was with Sean, but I didn't care.
"What are you doing home on a Saturday night?" Raymond slurred. I could tell he was half drunk already.
"Nothing. Just sitting here and being angry at The King."
"Why? What happened?"
I groaned. "I don't want to get into it. It's so stupid."
"Why does Sean look so...worn out these days anyway?" Raymond asked. "Too much sex involved in ruling Kingdom Flora?"
"You're gross, Ray. And no, our problem is definitely not that." More like he had three mistresses named Einstein, Newton and Galileo.
"Well you wanna hang out? This is so creepy, you sitting home like a widow waiting for your dead husband to come back from the Vietnam War," Raymond said. "I haven't talked to you in ages."
"Ray, we talked like three days ago."
"Yeah, but I mean a real heart-to-heart, in person. Remember how we got high together in summer? That was epic."
I laughed, remembering. It was a mad night. "Ray, I can't have a heart-to-heart with you getting high. You were simultaneously bawling your eyes out and giggling like crazy."
Thinking back, I kind of missed that. Those carefree days of just hanging out and doing silly things. If I did something like that now Sean would probably disown me.
"Anyway, if you're not doing anything I can go to your place," Raymond suggested.
I pondered the idea. Of course this didn't qualify as a date in my opinion, but I did promise Sean I'd be loyal as in not doing any one on one. But I was pretty mad at him, and I thought he should be responsible for this. If it wasn't for him we'd be down at the beach house (getting undressed) already and I wouldn't even be having this conversation.
The more I thought about it, the more I thought it was only fair if I did something for myself. If Sean wasn't going to make me happy, the responsibility fell in my own hands. Maybe the tension between us would ease after I cheered up.
"Come on, you used to be so spontaneous. You'd just hop on a cab and meet me," Raymond said. "Is Sean still making you wear a chastity belt?"
"Fine, fine, you come over. But I have to warn you The King really isn't cool with this."
"I won't tell him, if that's what you're worried about. I doubt I'll remember anything tomorrow morning." That was quite true, actually. When Raymond got wasted he seriously didn't remember anything.
Raymond arrived with two six-packs. He set them down on my bedroom floor and cracked open the first can as he carefully went through everyone in our class, like they were a deck of library index cards.
"Marisa looks like God had to rush out in the middle of photoshopping her left eye and never got back to it." Crack.
"I wonder how Brittany's audition went for the Bride of Chucky." Crack.
"Whenever I see Mike in the cafeteria, he reminds me of an elephant strolling out for an afternoon feed." Crack.
He commented between swigs of beer while I gasped and agreed. He brought out my mean, shallow side, and I was amazed at how liberating it was to be like this sometimes. Sean never said anything bad about people aside from an occasional joke about how horrible Sandra was. He was wonderful but sometimes I needed a little goofy fun without worrying about what he thought of me.
After we finished the alcohol Raymond brought over, I took out the good stuff my dad stored in his liquor cabinet.
"Flora, you're seriously one of the few cool people in our school," he said in a moment of soberness.
"You're just here for my good wine."
"Well, that is of course one of the many good qualities you have. But I do think you're alright."
"Gee, imagine getting a certificate of excellence from none other than the Prom King himself."
"Why are you with Sean anyway?" he asked suddenly.
"Why not? Hot people belong together. And I'm crazy about him." Just talking about Sean filled me with pink bubbles. He was someone I was proud of. He may not be spontaneous and irresponsibly fun, but he was perfect the way he was.
"But he's so uptight."
"Sean's not uptight. He has principles, that's all."
Raymond shrugged.
"He's decent. I'm sure that's a word you're unfamiliar with-"
I felt my phone buzz. The sound was so muffled I was surprised I heard it at all. I fumbled for it and saw that it was Sean. Without thinking I picked up.
"Hi there, King Sean." I giggled.
"Are you drunk?"
"No, no. No." I shook my head as I answered. "Far from it."
"Look, I want to see you."
"I thought you were studying."
"I was, but...Can I go over to your place?"
Suddenly I was popular again. "No, you can't." Wait...that sounds too strange. "I'm out...with Sarah and Jessica."
He paused. "You're out. Really?"
"Yes. I need to blow off some steam."
Another short pause. It could've been longer, but my head was starting to spin. "Okay. Will you call me when you get back?"
"Yeah, sure. Good luck with your exam tomorrow!" I hung up.
I picked up a half-empty can of beer and downed the content. I thought we were okay again, me and Sean. I felt much better. Maybe I'd be ready to forgive him when morning came.
When Raymond was pretty much incoherent, I walked with him downstairs. He gave me a bear hug, and before he pulled away he tried to plant a clammy kiss on my lips. I dodged and he got the side of my mouth.
I didn't think much of it. He got very touchy-feely sometimes, and I bet he did it out of reflex, mistaking me for one of his dates. He probably forgot who I was at the moment and he would most certainly forget everything in the morning, like one of those MIB guys erased his memory with a neurolyser.
I patted his back. "You be safe."
"We should do it again sometime." He pointed a wobbly finger at me.
"Definitely."
I watched him struggle to walk in a straight line, but at least he was heading towards the right direction. I went back to my room, and I completely forgot to call Sean before I fell asleep.
***
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