"Welcome, welcome," I said, a few hours later as I ushered Jess into the house.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"Huh?" I asked.
"You just... you seem happy. Like, really happy. You texted me yesterday upset that you got diagnosed with this BPD thing but now you're on top of the moon. Oh, wait, you said there's mood swings. Is this one of those? Can you even tell when you're having those? Is it like a thing where OH MY GOD! ROSE ASHLEY GENTRY! DID YOU GET A TATTOO?" she screamed, noticing the plastic wrap on my arm.
"Mhm," I said, a big smile on my face. "I was supposed to take the wrap off a couple hours ago but I wanted you to see it first."
"After Colby, of course," she said.
"Huh? No, Colby hasn't seen it," I replied.
"You didn't tell him what you were getting in the shop?" she asked.
"Colby didn't go with me," I said.
"I know damn well you didn't do this alone. Who'd you go with? Kat?" she asked.
"Nope. I met someone," I said, unable to keep the smile off my face.
"Spill. Details," Jess said, plopping down onto my couch.
"Okay, so Colby convinced me to sign up for a group therapy thing. I went, and I met this guy Eli there. Here's the fun part: I had a date planned with Colby but he canceled last minute, so Eli took me out instead," I said.
"What? You just went out with some guy?" she asked.
"Yeah! He's got the same disorder that I do, so I decided it might be healthy to be around someone who can understand how my brain works," I said. "I just didn't think I'd end up liking him so much."
"Wait, woah woah woah. You like him as a person or you like...like like him?" asked Jess.
"We're not in the third grade," I laughed. "But maybe I do in fact like like him," I quickly added.
"No," groaned Jess.
"What?" I asked.
"But you had a good thing going with Colby. I could see it. He asked you on a date!" Jess said.
"Yeah, then ditched not even an hour before. Then, when he came over and met Eli, he was this total petty douchebag. Eli was nice and everything and Colby was just mean. So I spent my day with Eli instead and got a tattoo, which Colby should be happy about, because it was on my list," I explained.
"That's a mess I'll deal with when I have to. Let's see the tattoo!" Jess said. I sat down next to her on the couch and began picking at the tape on the inside of my upper arm, peeling it off to reveal the dark words. "Beautifully chaotic?" she asked.
"Beautifully chaotic," I repeated.
"And that means...?" she trailed off.
"It was something Eli said. That our minds might be a mess and we may never really know how to feel like normal people do, but there's a beauty to being broken," I said.
"Damn sis, that's deep. I like Eli already," she responded.
"Me too," I said.
"Have you guys, like....done anything?" she asked.
"No, no. Just hugged. Reminder that I've known him for less than 36 hours. But he's really sweet. I think you'll like him. Oh, and get this, he was at the playboy mansion party the other night!" I said.
"Wait, who invited him?" she asked.
"Huh? I don't know. Why?" I asked.
"What if someone at the Traphouse knows him? What if one of our friends invited him?" she asked.
"That'd be even cooler! I doubt it, though. Colby saw him and clearly didn't know who he was, so...," I trailed off.
"Hm. Interesting," she replied. "Changing subjects, are you ready for your birthday party tomorrow?" she asked.
"I am! I'm super stoked," I said. "Oh, and reminder that I work until 7 tonight."
"I know. Also, Krystal's flight should be arriving at about 6."
"What?" I asked.
"Surprise," she said with a small smile. "Colby and I paid for her to fly in so she didn't have to drive."
"But she said she likes driving more," I pointed out.
"She agreed," said Jess with a shrug. "So she'll be here tonight. Meanwhile, the Traphouse needs some serious cleaning work if it's going to be where your party is being held, so I think I'll head on over there so you can get ready for work."
"Okay. I'll text you when I get home so you can bring Krystal over. I assume you guys can pick her up and everything?" I asked.
"Yup. Later, girly," said Jess.
"Bye," I replied, waving as she walked out of the door. I quickly got changed into all black and threw my hair into a bun before slipping on my Vans and heading out the front door.
I felt my phone begin to buzz in my pocket. A lot. Continuously. I wondered what the notifications were, but I was running a little late already and reading my phone while I drove was an awful idea. Since it wouldn't stop buzzing, I just tucked it into my glovebox and ran inside to clock in, barely making it in time.
The second I stepped out from the back, we were overwhelmed with customers. I hardly got a break for nearly two hours when my manager came to talk to me. There was a new girl working that day, but we never caught a break to talk. I wondered why she was here. I'd always done the 4-7 shift by myself.
"Hey, Rose, can we talk?" Tori, my manager, asked.
"Of course," I said. I followed her into her small office, where she shut the door behind me. Uh oh.
"You know, Rose, when I came back from my lunchbreak I found the handle to the backdoor completely ripped off," she said.
"I...oh?" I replied. Huh?
"Rose, you're good at what you do. Very good. Clean work ethic, healthy habits, friendly to the customers," she listed.
"Thank you," I said. "You gave me that opportunity."
. We sat there for a minute, not talking.
"So who's the new girl? Help from another store? It's super busy out there," I asked.
"No, she's not from another store," she said.
"Oh. I just noticed that she was working on a shift I've always done by myself," I said. I actually didn't mind the idea, having someone else be there to help and work with me
Tori stared at me a moment before she answered.
"She's your replacement," she said. I blinked.
"I... I'm sorry, she's... what?" I asked.
"Your replacement," Tori repeated.
"Did I do something, or...?" I asked.
"No, no. You've just earned yourself quite a bit of publicity recently and I'm wondering if you're better off not working for this company," she said.
"Publicity for what?" I asked.
"Well, apparently you have a late aunt. She wrote a book before she passed away and it got published last night. The editor decided to add in a chapter about you inheriting nearly 150 million dollars," said Tori.
"Okay, and?" I asked.
"And the book is a hit. But it's extremely controversial. It was a theory about stem cell research, which some people are strongly against. The editor decided to tell us about your plans," she said.
"Plans?" I asked.
"Yes, to continue her legacy?" Tori asked.
"Huh? Girl—I don't know a damn thing about science. Are you kidding me?" I asked, feeling anger bubble inside of me.
"Language," she replied.
"Yeah, it's English. Are you seriously firing me because my dead fucking aunt wanted me to continue her research? So what if I did? You're firing me because I'm rich, is that it? You think I won't take this job seriously? Newsflash, Tori, I've been rich for a while now and still show up to work," I said.
"That's not the only thing," she said.
"Oh, what now?" I asked, crossing my arms.
"You've been seen with a guy who... doesn't have the best reputation. And he's far more well known than an anesthesiologist," she said.
"Who? Colby? Eli?" I asked.
"Yes, Elijah Adams and Colby Brock," she replied. "You were seen in a video on Colby's channel destroying someone's property. And Eli's been to prison for arson. Not something we condone. And you're on both of their Instagrams."
"Can you even fire me for this? Is this legal?" I asked.
"It is in this state. You're lucky you're getting an answer," she replied.
"Thank you for your time," I grumbled before standing up from the chair and walking out of the room. I noticed all of the customers staring at me as I stormed out. Is that why it was so busy today? Because people had antagonized me?
I ran to my car, got in, and slammed the door behind me. I froze, sitting there, alone.
I know a barista job at Starbucks seemed insignificant. Especially when I had plenty of money. But that job meant a lot to me. It was the first job I'd gotten without any help. It paid for my first home. Without that job, I never would have been able to grow up. Never met Jess, never met Colby. I'd probably still be in South Dakota. No, actually, I'd definitely be dead.
I sat in my car and cried. I cried for a while, my head buried in my hands, until I noticed that it was starting to get dark outside. It was 7, the time I would usually be getting off.
I didn't know how to feel. I was tired of being sad, so I decided to be angry.
I never asked to be seen. I never asked to be in any stupid YouTube video series with Colby. I never asked to be posted with Eli. I never even asked for all of this money and this house. I had never asked for anything. But I got to where I am now all by myself. I forced my way through school, I took a huge leap and moved out here with Krystal. I maintained my life after she left. My mom didn't pay a single penny. I did. I did it. But the second that I let people into my life, everything went to shit.
I was so mad. Colby convinced me to do some stupid list. Jess told me not to kill myself. And I didn't. I started the list and I stayed alive. I did exactly what they wanted, but that ended up biting me in the ass. Being dead honestly sounded a lot better than feeling this way right now.