'I'll admit it, I'll admit it
You haven't been a man for like a minute,
I told you that I'm in it for the long haul
You can really get the business
I'll admit it, I'll admit it
Rolling swishers hittin' swishes Got me feelin' like a ball hog
I don't pass 'em when I get it
I'll admit it, I'll admit it
You too worried 'bout the bitches'
6 God blasted in Jay's car. Chad and Omar chilling in the back. All of us rapping to the lyrics. Today's Friday and this week has been chill for me. We got into a little altercation with Jasmine and her crew on Monday but everything's all good. We'll stay out of their way as long as they don't cross paths with us or Santana. I don't care much for high school drama it's just irrelevant. The only relevant thing on my mind is slaying my new track in the studio tomorrow. I've been working hard on my song and the lyrics fluently roll off my tongue. I'm hype and I'm ready.
"Man. I say we ditch school today." Chad said. Reaching inbetween the seats turning down the music.
"Nah. You gonna call in for my absences?" I dusted off my jeans. If I'm going to make it in life at least I'll have good grades to show for it.
"Bruh. Your mom don't give a fuck anyway. C'mon na."
Grimacing at my friend he just held up his hands in defense. Knowing I don't play when people talk about my mom. "Bruh chill. You know I'm telling the truth."
"He does have a point. Cavonte yo ass need to stop being so serious all the time and have fun. Plus you won't even get in trouble for it." Omar said.
"It's not about getting in trouble. I ain't got time for makeup work. You know these teachers be doing overloads on our asses."
Jay and Chad groaned. Not seeing my point at all. "Alright. If he wants to be a little bitch let him." Jay said, pulling over in front of the school.
Grabbing my Jansport slinging it over my shoulders I gave my boys dap, "Ight. Check y'all lata."
Jay drove off and I started regretting my decision when I saw Morgan and Keisha headed my way.
"Hey Cavonte," Keisha smacked on her gum and smiled at me. I nodded what's up to her before she walked straight pass me.
Morgan still stood; one hand holding on to the strap of her bag. Her golden blonde hair in two buns. Purple lipstick coated her lips and she looked fierce in her black dress that revealed the side of her right leg. It's obvious to why anyone would sleep with Morgan. She's gorgeous but she has no soul and is a spawn of Satan. A girl who didn't care who she gave it up to. Just as long as she got some.
Being the nonchalant dude that I am I reached for her left arm and pulled her into a friendly embrace. The last time we spoke I said some foul things. I didn't want to argue anyway.
"Wassup?" I pulled away from our quick hug.
"I wanted to talk. Look, I'm sorry Cavonte. I wasn't really going to trap you I just wanted you to stay. What we had was amazing and don't front like it wasn't. Our chemistry was off the chain. I care about you and it hurts to see you wasting your time on a bougie girl like Alyssa. She ain't from the streets. That girl wouldn't know a thing about fighting with her oreo ass."
The way Morgan pouted was cute but not cute enough to believe a damn thing she said was true. The sexual chemistry was amazing but apart from that I don't even know much about the girl. She was a one night stand and nothing more. I barely pull out and I damn sure not pulling out for a thot twice.
"You right," I ran my hands across my waves a couple times. Her surprised look making me smirk. "That night we shared was amazing but it was just a night. I don't even think I know your last name or what grade you're in. Don't stand here and make up lies like we were a couple or something. Yeah, Alyssa is bougie but she's more than you'll ever be and for the record she's not my girlfriend."
Before Morgan could explode and make a scene in front of everyone, Santana walked up to me saving the day. "Cavonte. Coach Risenburg has to see you he says its important. I think he's interested in you being on the football team."
"Don't you see us having a conversation?" Morgan snapped. Shifting her anger towards Santana.
Giving Santana a warning look causing her to bite her lip from going off on Morgan. Facing Morgan I said, "I don't want to talk about us. I got shit to do. See you around."
Grabbing Santana's arm I led her away from the spawn of Satan. "Coach Risenburg? Seriously? Who the hell is that? Ha-ha." I teased her bad skills at coming up with a good lie.
"It helped didn't it? Besides, isn't that the girl that said you got her pregnant?"
"Yeah. She's crazy. Look, don't start nun with her ight? I don't want you getting hurt. Morgan isn't the type of girl you want to mess with."
Santana looked like she wanted to argue but I shushed her. I'm done worrying about Morgan anyway.
The bell rung over our heads.
"I'll talk to you later."
Mr. Johnson began calling roll. I slouched in my seat. My pencil tapping the edge of my desk as I checked out Alyssa. I know she's not still mad at me. She looked good in her black mini skirt, and her cute green sweater. Her curly hair in a puffy ponytail today. She's beautiful no doubt and she's a good friend. Ion want her to be mad at me.
Alyssa caught me staring. Instead of turning away blushing she stared at me back. Raising my left eyebrow I continued to stare back. The both of us turning this into a staring contest. Licking over my lips; knowing girls love when I do that shit. Alyssa trying her hardest to not flash me her nice smile.
"Mr. Carter," Johnson stood by my desk. Breaking the game and letting Alyssa win. Even though it was childish of me I know Alyssa and I are good. "Calm them hormones, boy. We in school." He chuckled under his breath. Not scolding me but teasing me. The class laughed and I couldn't help but to join them.
"Nah, it not even like that sir."
Johnson just shook his head and a knowing smile crossed his face, "Mr. Carter, how about you put your brain to work instead of what your parents gave you. Now, everyone take out your books and let's continue reading Negro Patterns."
Mr. Johnson is a trip I'll tell you. I snuck a peek at Alyssa and she was giggling. I turned around and took out my textbook. Not wanting Mr. Johnson catch me looking at Alyssa again.
"Bro, you got Alyssa wanting you and you still not hitting that?" Jameson said. He sat right behind me. As much as I wanted to it would be crossing a dangerous zone. She would catch way too much feelings and the thought of ducking her didn't seem right.
"Some targets you got to swerve." I told him. Taking out my brush as well and started grooming my hair.
The classroom door opened, in walking Santana with a yellow paper in her hand. What is she doing in here?
"I feel you." Jameson's voice seemed to drift. I furrowed my eyebrows seeming confused. Jameson got his eyes on other girls? How clingy Alicia and him be I didn't think it was possible. It ain't none of my business so I didn't push the conversation further. Instead I focused my attention on Santana talking to Mr. Johnson.
"Take a seat next to Cavonte for today until I can assign you a seat."
Once Santana sat down I asked her, "You got a schedule change?"
She nodded her head, "Yeah I wasn't in the right classes but my guidance counselor fixed it."
"This is english three though. You're a sophomore shouldn't you be in two?"
She smirked, "This is actually on my honors track so no i'm not suppose to be in two. I took it over the summer anyway."
Mr. Johnson gave us a look and we quieted down quick along with the rest of the class.
Taking out her textbook I made sure she was on the right page. Mr. Johnson called on Mercedes to read. I forgot that I have to talk to Chad for her. I'll talk to him today and put in a good word for 'ha.
After class was over I caught up with Alyssa who had already left out the room.
"What do you want? I can't be late again Cavonte."
By the tone of her voice I sensed that she still is angry with me. Grabbing her arm for her to stop walking I said, "Chill aight?"
Scoffing she rudely snatched her arm out of my grasp. Looking heated and sad at the same time, "Chill? I'm not going to play ring around the rosie with you. You sending mixed signals Cavonte. I thought you were going to be real with me but I guess you like playing games like these other boys too." She snapped; causing people walking pass to turn heads.
"I'm not 'playin games. I know that we kissed but I'm sorry that you got the wrong impression. It's my fault, yes, for sending mixed signals but I didn't wanna hurt you. I'm not ready for a relationship right now. It's not you I'm just trying to focus on my music right now and that's real. I just want to be friends and I didn't want to disrespect you by fucking and leaving."
Alyssa just shook her head. Her eyes watering, "Friends? All you seem to do now is make me cry lately. I like you way too much to be just a friend. I'm done and if you really are my friend then leave me alone Cavonte. It's funny how you gave Morgan the time of day but wouldn't think twice with me."
Alyssa turned around and walked away. Ciara catching up with her. She just didn't get that she wasn't anything like Morgan. She was more than a hit and quit but if she done then I am too. I'm not gonna waste anymore time on someone that's not even my girl.
"Trouble in paradise?" Raven snuck up beside me. A wide smile spread across my face as I looked down at her short self. "Not anymore."
"Don't lie to me Tay. I leave for a couple weeks and i'm hearing all this drama you and Jay in?"
Raven is my only true girl best friend. She's my ride or die chick and I love her short self. She's fun size and a hell of a good friend. She's bad too, but has hella commitment issues. She was my first love but that was way back. Now we're just really good friends with a no string attach relationship.
Raven has a nice caramel skin complexion. She's Mexican and African American. Her hair is black with blonde tips and her body is definitely on point. She was my girl and the only one who actually held me down. She took my virginity and I took hers in the seventh grade.
Ditching school we went back to my place. My boys wasn't there and I didn't feel like continuing drama so why wouldn't I ditch with Raven?
"I missed you," Raven managed to get out but it came out as a moan as I began to slowly stroke inside her. Damn, I missed her too.
My sheets met at my waist, leaving Raven's chest exposed as she lied underneath me. She felt so good and she looked good too. She scratched down my bare back as my tongue licked across and teased her nipples with my teeth. She arched her back giving me more access to slide deeper inside making her whimper and bite her lip. "Missed you too." I groaned against her neck as I began to softly suck on her soft skin and stroke quicker and harder.
Raven almost screamed at my change of pace and her moaning is so loud I bet the neighbors can hear. She was biting her lip so much she almost cut it. "Cavonte... I'm about to cum." She whimpered. The sound of her voice was so sexy and I had to tilt my head back a little as I released a slight groan. Not wanting to let her cum just yet I flipped us over.
Raven didn't waste time as she began to ride me. Going as slow as possible just to tease me. I gripped her waist tight, "Raven stop playing." It came out as a whisper. She had me just where she wanted me. Vulnerable.
She slowly leaned over on me making me bite my lip. I wanted more of her and she wasn't giving me that. "Say you love me." she licked my lips. Amusingly enjoying my discomfort she giggled. She always loved to tease me.
Not taking it anymore I tightened my hands on her waist and forced her to bounce up and down on me. She let out a loud moan before she didn't need my help and started riding me on her own.
Soon after we both climaxed together and she collapsed on top of me. Our chests moving up and down rapidly as we tried to catch our breaths. Strands of her hair matted on her forehead from sweat. Her hazel eyes staring down at me. She's so beautiful.
Cupping the back of her head I kissed her for a long time. She had me where she wanted me and I had her where I wanted her.
"Welcome back, best friend." I grinned like a little boy and slapped her ass. We both just laughed.
I showered after Raven and when I came out she was laying on my bed in one of my t-shirts. Her buttcheeks flashing me and it took a lot not to get excited all over again. Raven's not a hoe. She doesn't have a boyfriend and I certainly don't have a girlfriend. It's not like she having sex with multiple guys it's just with me and when we're in a relationship we know not to cross that boundary.
She was going through my phone because she had my password. I didn't care though. "Who are all these naked girls in your gallery?" She wiggled her eyebrows.
Laying next to her I laid on my back and grinned. "Admirers & hoes."
She shook her head and continued to look through my phone. Now on my Instagram. "When you gonna find you a girl? Actually let me rephrase that. When are you going to cuff a girl?"
"When you stop getting on top of me." I teased her. Winking too.
Grabbing one of my pillows she hit me in the face making me laugh. "Shut up. I'm being serious. What's going on with you and Alyssa?"
Groaning I covered my face with a pillow. Raven quickly snatched it off my face. "Nothing really. I knew she liked me and I shouldn't have gave her the impression I liked her back. I didn't want a relationship with her. I don't want a relationship with anyone."
"Why not? Your music? Tay I know music is your passion but I want you to be happy. Not just with lyrics but with someone who makes you happy."
"Then we wouldn't have amazing sex anymore." I tried to steer the conversation by teasing her.
Raven rolled her eyes, "Who cares pendejo? I'm your best friend and I want what's best for you Tay."
Groaning some more I closed my eyes. "Ight i'll try but only if you try too."
"This isn't about me." she feigned innocence. I didn't buy into her act anymore than she did. Giving up she said, "Okay i'll try too but you know it's not gonna happen."
Changing the subject I said, "How was spending time with your dad?"
She just rolled her eyes and frowned. I just shook my head knowing something was up. Her dad is a piece of a shit. Ever since her mom died things have changed between them. Now she's living with her Aunt because he doesn't want her. That's one thing me and her had the most in common. Shitty parents. Tears slid down her cheeks, "It's like I don't even exist Tay. He hates me. He pretends like he cares just so he can get part of my mothers monthly check that comes for me. He won't even look at me. He takes care of his kids from other women but he doesn't want me. He treats them all equally. I felt like an outcast there."
I hate seeing her emotional because she rarely is. Raven is the strongest girl I know and it hurts to see her so broken. Pulling her closer she lied her head on my chest and cried. I rubbed her back and clenched my jaw. Angry that her father makes her feel so inadequate. "Then fuck him. If he can't see how good of a daughter he has then fuck him. Seriously. One day he's going to need you and it's up to you if you gonna be there. When my mom looks at me all I see is regret. I know she doesn't want me or Rachel. She just puts up with us. Deep down i'm still waiting for the mom she use to be to return. That's just a dream just like my rapping career."
She sniffled, "Don't say that. Don't let her get into your head and have you doubting your dreams. If i'm sure about one thing, it's that you're going to make it. Just don't forget about the people who never left you behind."
Raven and I had drifted to sleep. The sound of Jay's loud ass woke the both of us up.
"Damn! Raven come back and you already hit and she didn't even decide to let a nigga know she here! That's some foul shit!" He yelled at the both of us. The tone of his voice anything but serious.
Raven rubbed her eyes and a loud laugh escaped her lips when Jay jumped into the bed. He started tickling her. "J-Jay! I so-sorry!" She squirmed and squealed.
"Nah! You in here showing Cavonte some love but you forgot about me!"
Getting out of bed I left the two to play while I headed into the living room. I knew I smelled Dominos. Jay came through and brought a large pizza. I was hungry as hell and immediately dug in.
Jay ran out the room laughing and I heard my door slam shut.
"What u in did na?" I said with my mouth full.
Jay sat on the couch and continued to laugh before saying, "She wouldn't let me watch her change so I tossed her panties in the toilet and she tried to kill me."
I just shook my head but a slight smile crossed my face because I knew she wasn't gonna reach in and get it. Which means she gonna be free-balling while she here.
Sitting on the couch I pounded Jay's fist, "Good one bruh." I laughed.
"So you ditch with her but not squad?"
"I am squad!" I heard her shout. It's true though. She is apart of our squad. That's why most girls be hating that she got the in with us.
I just smirked and Jay went to grab the box of pizza. "Omar got laid today."
I almost choked on my pizza from laughing. "da hell? How?"
Jay sat back on the couch. Placing the box on the coffee table he said, "So I drove to my home girl Miesha house and she had her friend Tatiana over. Tatiana like white dudes and Omar was already checked her out. Chad and I hooked them up and they went into the room and you already know what went down. Omar came out looking like a brand new man."
I cracked up at the last part. Omar finally lost his virginity. That's something.
Raven walked out the room in her original outfit. Black mini skirt and a blue crop top. Her belly ring showing and she's wearing one of my beanies. "I hate you Jay." she said with an uncomfortable look on her face because she has on no panties.
"I love you too." he lifted his feet on to the coffee table. "Omar got laid by the way."
"Finally. I was actually starting to think he was going to be a hot loner all his high school years." she sat in-between us.
Her and Jay started talking and I was just staring at her legs. Wanting to hit again. My hormones been neglected for a month except for Morgan and now her. Twice wasn't enough. Looking away I ran my hands across my head. Thinking of other things to push dirty thoughts out of my mind.
"We should invite some people over. Like a small get together." I heard Raven suggest.
"Word. Who?" I asked. A small party is just what I needed.
"Uh. Keisha, Morgan-"
"Hell no never mind."
Jay laughed out loud at my outburst and Raven looked confused. Oh shit she didn't know.
"Why? I thought y'all were cool."
"I fucked Morgan and shit got complicated. It was a one night stand though."
Raven looked shocked. "Damn. Why am I the last to know!"
"Yo ass left remember."
"I still have a phone!"
"Thats not in service."
"Wifi!"
"Which you didn't have." Jay included. I agreed.
Raven grabbed a slice of pizza. Itching for every detail of drama she said, "Tell me the tee."
I started from Morgan flirting with me and inviting me to her place cuz her parents weren't home and us having sex. Then I told her about her claiming she was pregnant and ended it with her dissing Alyssa.
"I didn't know she was feeling you that hard or at least at all. She waits till I leave to make a move. That's some fake shit."
"She's psychotic." Jay said.
"Word but I don't even think we cool anymore."
"If y'all not cool with her i'm not." Raven stated. Having our backs like always. We decided to just chill together and not invite anyone over. Jay eventually left and I got it in with Raven one more time before she went home. Even though I felt happy something was still missing.
Saturday afternoon
Stepping off the city bus I walked down the streets of Lauderhill towards one of Rah's trap houses. Today is the day i've been waiting for awhile. To show Rah i'm not just some little kid trying to chase a false dream. I have the skills and the talent but most of all I have heart. I'm gonna put my all into it and if it's not meant to be it is what it is. I remember when I was seven my father use to teach me the ins and out about being a hustler and the music industry. Hustling didn't do it for me but the way he spoke about music it had me listening.
Two men and a woman half dressed stood on the lawn smoking and talking. The men nodded what's up to me as I made my way to the door. I was about to knock but the door opened. Loud music, smoke, and the stench of alcohol escaping through. At the door stood Julisa. I barely acknowledged her but she seemed ashamed at the sight of me. As if she did something she shouldn't have. Shaking my head I stepped past her and into the house. People lingered in the living room dancing and drinking. Loud talking. The men looked in there twenties with a couple young teen boys hanging around too. The woman-or should I say teen girls-gave the men lap dances and joined in on the fun. The thought of my little sister growing up and being like them wouldn't cross my mind. I would never let her out of my sight.
This white girl walking pass me winked in my direction and I just chuckled under my breath. These girls know if they people caught them up in here they would get their ass torn up.
"Wassup bruh?" Rah stepped out one of the rooms where I caught some men counting money and you couldn't mistake the guns lingering on the table.
Slapping hands with him I said, "Nun just checking the place out."
"This ain't nun compared to my other house. Lemme take you downstairs bruh." Rah led me through this door which led into the basement.
A light skin, bald dude sat in front of the controls for the sound. No one was in the booth and two guys sat on the couch drinking.
"Want sum to drink?" He offered.
"Ight." I agreed as I took a seat on the opposite side of the couches.
Pooh, one of the men, passed me a glass cup before pouring some Hennessy. "Whatchu in high school or sum?" He laughed. Making the others laugh too.
"Yeah. What's so funny about that?" I took a sip. My jaw clenched a little at the strong taste.
"Ye know how many high school boys stroll in here thinking they can rap? Trying to make a quick dollar but cant spit a lick."
"Nah but I ain't come here to talk about other niggas. Am I gonna spit some lyrics or we gon trash talk all day?"
"This one got a mouf on hem." Tyrese, the other man said.
Rah just laughed, "We all got moufs on us but we can back it up," he turned serious as he looked at me, "Can you back it up bruh?"
Taking my CD out of my jacket pocket I got up and handed it to the bald guy named Damond.
Opening the door to the booth I stepped in closing the door behind me. Rah and his boys sat on the couch with amused faces as they smoked too.
Standing in front of the mic I placed on the headphones provided. Niggas always doubting me. Damond played the track. My beats dropping. Rah nodding his head to the dope sound.
Taking a deep breath I wasn't nervous at all. Here I go.
"I here the talk on the streets, all these niggas out here doubting me. Clowning me. Out here hating on the nigga they wish to be. Fuck your whole crew I just fucked all the hoes that just screwed you. They aint just loving the crew. These hoes aint loyal Chris said it best. I'm kissing her chest next thing I knew she telling her friends I got ha pregnant. Ha. That's funny these girls out here would drop they neck just for some money. Not just for money just the simple pleasure of having a man. The simple pleasure of thinking they have a man. I met a real bitch she was real bad but I aint on that committing. I aint on that misleadin. I aint on that playin. I'm just me. Lil Tay slaying the mic on you niggas. I here the talk on the streets, all these niggas out here doubting me. Clowning me. Out here hating on the nigga they wish to be. Fuck your whole crew I just fucked all the hoes that just screwed you..."
The sound is dope my lyrics flowing was dope and the look on Rah's face was dope too. Once I stopped Damond already wanted me to go again and he would spice it up a bit. Saying my song is hot.
Rah walked into the booth. Rubbing his jaw he said, "I should've got you in here a long time ago. Yo, this could be the next big hit. All we need is the right plug and it's a done deal."
"You think so?"
"I know so. Damond spin that shit again. Let's go." he said before walking out the booth.
A smirk crossed my face as I placed my headphones back on. This feels like the beginning of something new.
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