"You suck at this game," you mutter, glancing over Jongho's shoulder to see his hand of cards again.
"What? You can do better?" He scoffs in response and pulls his cards close to his chest. You shrug, propping an elbow up on the table and looking over to where Wooyoung and Yeosang sit. Both have cards in their hands as well, and Wooyoung keeps trying to sneak a glance at the other man's hand, but Yeosang just moves further and further away from him. Jongho clears his throat and sits up a bit straighter as he continues to talk to you. "I'll have you know that I am the best out of the whole crew. Unbeatable."
"Well, damn. Everyone must be fucking horrible if you're the best." You crack a small smile, looking over at Jongho out the corner of your eye. He puts a hand over his chest.
"Excuse me–"
"You're excused."
"You're jealous," he counters through your childish remark.
"What exactly am I supposed to be jealous of? A bad poker skill?"
"Hey! It's poker. It's not like I get to choose what cards I get. It's not even skill-based!"
"Then how are you the best? You just happen to have good luck?"
"No, I – listen. I have the best poker face, and I can lie better than anyone else on the crew."
"Should you be proud of that?" You inquire, scrunching your nose up as you squint at Jongho. He opens his mouth to retort but snaps it shut a moment later. His expression is a bit dumbfounded, and he stares at the table with a small glare, seeming to realize your point. You manage to hold back your laugh, but Wooyoung doesn't even try – a bright and noisy laugh resounding as he watches your exchange.
"You know it's bad when Yeosang is winning," Wooyoung says through a sigh. Yeosang casts a half-hearted glare at the man, but Wooyoung ignores him in favor of continuing to complain. "Why are you even winning? Out of everyone, you are the worst at poker. How am I losing to you? It's one thing to lose to Jongho, but you? This is embarrassing."
"You can't lie, Woo." Yeosang clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth and continues to thumb through his hand of cards. "You turn beet red and start stuttering. I'm content with winning now. Break the losing streak."
Wooyoung folds his lips into a frown, mocking Yeosang's smug expression a bit as he looks through his own cards. "Break the losing streak. Content with winning. May as well just say 'I'm better than you, Wooyoung.'"
"I wouldn't say that. Maybe Y/N is my good luck charm." Yeosang shifts his gaze over to you, one corner of his lips pulling upwards as he looks over you. You huff and glare back at him. You don't make a habit of speaking to Yeosang, especially since he threatened you back on Medra and fucking choked you, but you also can't bring yourself to trust his unknown motives. He maintains a certain level of teasing and playfulness, but all your one-on-one interactions have shown that attitude to be a farce.
"I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you," you retort.
"Hey, I thought I was your good luck charm," Wooyoung whines, lips pouting out as he turns to Yeosang. Yeosang lifts a hand and pats Wooyoung's cheek lightly. His gaze is softer than usual, but it quickly turns teasing again when he speaks next.
"You've never helped me win poker though."
Wooyoung throws his cards on the table and shakes his head.
"Is there really nothing better to do? I'm bored out of my mind."
"We're on a spaceship, Woo. If you have any bright ideas of what there is to do on a spaceship in the middle of space, I would love to know what those ideas are," Yeosang remarks, picking up Wooyoung's thrown cards one by one. Jongho passes his cards over as well, although he is a lot more gentle than Wooyoung was.
"We're actually not in space anymore." Wooyoung jabs a finger at Yeosang's chin and catches the man on the lip instead. Yeosang swats his hand away with a small grimace, but you can tell that Wooyoung's antics don't bother him too much. "We've already landed on Kebos. We're just waiting for Captain and the others to do whatever it is they need to do."
It's been a few days since your awkward panic attack in the training room, but the mention of Kebos still makes you tense up, and your breath catches a bit in your throat. Jongho notes the way your shoulders lift, and his hand reaches down to the bench between you two, brushing over your knuckles just enough. You shift to look at him, lips pressed tight together, but he doesn't look back at you. Instead, he keeps his eyes forward on Yeosang and Wooyoung as they continue their conversation.
"Stop being a smartass, Woo."
"I'm not being a smartass!"
"You'll get your ass beat if you aren't careful," Yeosang threatens, shaking his head a little while continuing to organize the deck of cards.
"You could never lay a finger on me. You love me too much." Wooyoung crosses his arms over his chest, leaning back to grin smugly at Yeosang. The blond doesn't even look at him before swinging his fist into Wooyoung's arm.
"Hey!" Wooyoung exclaims, pulling away from Yeosang and rubbing at the spot where he was hit. "Ow? What was that for?"
"You said I wouldn't hit you."
"I didn't mean for you to actually hit me though..." Wooyoung pouts and slaps Yeosang's arm in return.
"Are you okay? Does it hurt? I didn't do any actual damage, did I?"
"Ha! I knew you were soft for me!"
Yeosang huffs at Wooyoung's accusation but neglects to counter again, letting Wooyoung bask in his victory (if it can even be called a success). You sit up straight as movement flashes across the edge of your vision. Seonghwa and San step into the mess hall side by side, both out of their casual clothes and armed with two pistols each. Jongho slides closer to you to make room for them, but Seonghwa puts a hand up and shakes his head a little.
"We aren't staying. We'll be heading out with Captain in a few minutes. Jongho, would you go take inventory in the cargo hold with Mingi later."
"Sure thing, Lieutenant. Consider it done."
"We should be back shortly, but this will most likely take a few days. Maybe a week at most. Captain wants to scope out possible recruits for the crew."
"Why all of a sudden like this?" Yeosang cuts in, leaving the deck of cards forgotten under his fingers. Seonghwa glances over at him with wide eyes. A small smile takes over his lips.
"Hongjoong will explain in time."
"In time?" Yeosang scoffs. "So never."
"He's going to explain in time, Yeosang. If you expect me to tell you now, you're sorely mistaken, so I would suggest you keep your mouth shut and wait for the captain to address it later." Seonghwa levels Yeosang with a glare, the soft demeanor slipping away from his features, and for a moment, all you see is the Lieutenant of Death. Yeosang's jaw shifts, but he doesn't say anything else. "Y/N, could I borrow you for a second?" You become the focus of Seonghwa's stare, but the fury in his eyes drops away as he looks at you.
"Y-Yeah, sure." You push yourself up from the bench, stepping behind Seonghwa as he starts to walk towards a separate table. You turn to glance over at San, who takes your seat beside Jongho with a delicate frown pasted on his features. Even when you sit down beside Seonghwa, you can spot San over the lieutenant's shoulder. He looks back at you, eyes lingering and watching, but as soon as he sees that you're doing the same, he dips his chin towards the table in front of him instead.
"San is worried about coming along," Seonghwa explains, noticing your stare. "Yeosang is going to be guarding the main airlock, and San doesn't trust Yeosang, so... he's not too happy about the situation."
"Ah," you exhale.
"All other airlocks are going to be locked down and sealed tight. I want you to go to the cargo hold with Jongho and Mingi. If anything does happen – which we doubt – both will be there to protect you and keep anything from happening to you. The military isn't in this sector where we've landed, but just for extra precautions, Hongjoong reserved a private docking station. So only people with certain keycards can get into the bay, just the three of us who are leaving. The doors will lock once we're gone. Yeosang won't stay in one place the whole time, but he'll be patrolling the corridors closest to the main airlock. San and I – we have orders from Hongjoong to return to the ship immediately if anything happens. Our location won't be as far away as it was when we were in Echidna, so we'll be able to return quicker than before. Nothing should get through Yeosang, Jongho, and Mingi though. How does that sound?"
You're so immersed in listening to what Seonghwa is saying that you don't realize he's asked you a question until a couple seconds after he's finished speaking.
"A-Ah, yes, that's sounds... good. Great. Yeah." You must still seem anxious and on-edge because Seonghwa's brows furrow together.
"Do you trust us, Y/N?"
"I trust you. Not Hongjoong."
Seonghwa dips his head and laughs through his nose. "That's why I came up with the plan and not Hongjoong." He glances over to where San is sitting, and with a deep sigh, he pulls himself back to his feet. "It's time to go."
Seonghwa says the words loud enough for San to hear as well, and the latter gets up, immediately looking over to where you're still sitting at the table. You press a smile across your lips, one that San returns in an instant.
"Don't do anything I would do," you say as you stand up, moving back over to where Jongho and the others are seated.
"So, avoid doing something stupid?" San teases.
"Haha. Very funny," you scoff. The second you're within arm's length of San, you reach out to smack his shoulder.
"Ow, hey, I'm fragile!"
"Fragile? Choi San, I–"
"You could break me," San whines, shying away from your arm as you threaten to hit him again.
"I'll hit you harder," you sigh.
"Kinky," he whispers back. He dodges your quickly-swung arm again, a snicker leaving his lips as he goes to join Seonghwa at the edge of the room. "We won't keep you guys waiting long!"
"Watch them come back in three days," Jongho mutters as Seonghwa and San leave the mess hall, and you slide back into your seat. He purses his lips at you when you sit down, brows raised high, and you narrow your eyes in response.
"What's that look for?"
"Nothing." Jongho shrugs and looks away from you. Yeosang huffs a laugh though, and that's enough to tell you that it is far from nothing. At least Wooyoung looks just as clueless and confused as you. "I'm gonna go take care of inventory now rather than later." Jongho slides off the bench. You sigh but get up as well, sending a half-hearted glare at Jongho's head since he waited for you to sit down to announce his departure.
"Are you going with, Y/N?" Wooyoung asks. He watches you get up, eyes wide and questioning, and you nod at him. "Why? Didn't Seonghwa ask Mingi and Jongho to take care of it?"
"Uh, yeah, I just want to figure out how to do it. For the future. If I need to."
"Stop putting your foot in your mouth," Jongho sighs. "It's embarrassing."
"That might be impossible," Yeosang snorts.
"Hahaha, so funny." You sneer and pass a glare in Yeosang's direction, then turn away, so you don't have to see his cocky expression any longer. "I hate him," you mutter once you and Jongho are out of the dining hall. Jongho laughs under his breath.
"He'll grow on you. Maybe."
"I doubt it."
"He does seem to enjoy infuriating you."
"Wow, I feel so special." You walk in step with Jongho even though you don't know the way to the cargo bay. "I haven't been back in the cargo bay since I first got on the ship." You hadn't intended to say the words out loud, but they slip out anyway, and Jongho glances at you out the corner of his eye.
"I find it funny, you know. I did the same thing as you when I first got on the ship."
"You were a stowaway?" Somewhere in the back of your mind, you vaguely remember something – maybe Yunho? – mentioning Jongho being in a similar situation as you were, but the memory is too hazy for you to think about.
"Yep." Jongho pops the syllable with a smile, bringing a hand up to run through his dark hair. "I was just trying to get free passage to a different planet. I had worked in a bar as a work mule on Dorado. Not too long, maybe only a couple months, but I heard lots of rumors and things while there. Captain and Seonghwa came through one day, and I overheard them talking about going to Aegos for a quick warehouse raid, then to Mensa. I was trying to get to Mensa, so I snuck aboard the ship and hid in the cargo bay. When we got to Aegos and retrieved the cargo, they brought San back. And he immediately found me hiding in the cargo bay. Sound familiar?"
"Well, I made it four days, so..."
"Are you bragging about how you were dying in a crate for four days?"
"I'm just saying I stayed hidden longer than you did!" You counter.
"I – hey, I'm a lot bigger and harder to hide than you are! Do I look like I can fit in a fucking crate?"
"Do you think I just look at people and think 'oh they look like they would fit in a crate'? That sounds like a psychopath."
"Listen, I was in that cargo bay for a full week. A week! I was only caught because of San! And the rest of the crew at the time were kinda... slow and didn't notice a lot."
"Right, yeah, if that makes you feel better."
"I think I lose a year of my life every time I talk to you," Jongho grumbles. You scoff and elbow him in the side.
"Don't make me take more off right now."
"Would you let me finish my story maybe? Please?" You lift your hands, dragging your thumb and index finger over your lips to show your silence for Jongho. He shakes his head ever so slightly at your antics, but continues with his story nonetheless. "Where was I? Oh yeah, San found me. He didn't tell Captain about it, but he managed to sneak some food for me quite often, and he would talk to me a lot while he was there. Probably because he was new to the crew and didn't really like chatting with new people at the time. Maybe it was easier to talk to me since I was a stowaway. But anyway, I asked him to tell me when the ship reached Mensa, and San said he would. He also offered to help smuggle me off the ship when we got there. Two days before we landed on Mensa, Captain came down and caught San talking to me. He made a comment about finally seeing the stowaway resting in his ship, so it turns out he knew I was there the whole time. San asked him not to hurt me since I was only around fifteen at the time. I was a "kid" or something. Captain said he never intended to hurt me in the first place, but he knew I was trying to get to Mensa because the barkeep I worked for was a bit loose-lipped. "
"Does Hongjoong recruit every stowaway on the ship?" You inquire, only have serious, and Jongho chuckles a bit.
"He seems to have a track record for that, doesn't he?"
"Okay, but why Mensa? There are many other arguably nicer planets you could've gone to."
"Not a fan of the desert and the scalding heat that will melt the skin off your face? Wow, I figured that would be your favorite kind of weather!"
"Oh yeah, absolutely. It's actually my favorite right behind poisonous swamps and fumes that will choke you out in less than a minute!"
"Damn, that's a good one," Jongho whispers, looking up at the ceiling. "I'm gonna use that one on Yeosang next time he acts like a smartass."
"I thought that was constant." Jongho snorts and rubs at the skin between his eyes. You laugh as well, proud of your little remark, then Jongho answers your initial question.
"I supposedly have family on Mensa. Somewhere in that god-forsaken heat. Eventually I'll ask Captain if we can go there. I would like to meet the family I have there, but right now, I don't think I can."
"Why not?" You ask, but it feels like you're beginning to tread on eggshells, because Jongho looks off at the wall as the two of you walk. His eyes glaze over a little bit. For a moment, you think he's just going to ignore your question and carry on in silence.
"Things have changed over time," he says at last. His steps slow to a halt, and you come to a stop beside him. The cargo bay lays ahead of the two of you, but Jongho doesn't go in quite yet. "It's been seven years since I joined the crew, and I was young at the time. Not very mature or grown-up. Lots of things have changed now that I think about it. Some things happened in the past that I need to work through and confront. I should take care of that before meeting the family I have on Mensa."
You want to inquire further, mostly on account of your curiosity, but also because it seems to be an odd goal to have. You don't get the chance to ask though.
"Oh, Mingi! You're already here!" Jongho exclaims, lips stretching into a wide smile. You jerk your head forward and find the tall Berserker standing in front of you. His stature alone is intimidating, but the blank void in his dark eyes serves to be far worse. You swallow the sudden lump that has arisen in your throat. He looks you over from head to toe. The lack of emotion in his expression doesn't sit well with you, and you hold your breath until he turns around, a huff of air leaving his lungs as he steps further into the cargo bay without a word.
Jongho is altogether unfazed by the odd encounter between you and Mingi. When you glance up at him with inquiry in your eyes, he merely shrugs and moves closer to the wall.
"Is he in a bad mood or something?" You mutter, eyeing Mingi's back as he walks further away. Jongho releases a loud laugh, and you want to smack him upside the head because Mingi most definitely heard that laugh, and you would rather not get on the bad side of a Berserker who could crush you in an instant.
"Mingi doesn't have moods," Jongho answers. He grabs something off the wall – a tablet from the looks of it – and taps away at the screen until it lights up. "At all. Or emotions in general. Well, no. He has emotions, but he doesn't know how to show them or anything like that. Doesn't understand what they are. That kinda thing, you know?"
"No, I don't."
"I – you're so dry."
"No, I really don't understand!" You retort.
Jongho laughs, walking further into the cargo bay, and you trail after him. He works opposite Mingi; both men log cargo with matching paces, and you don't want to disturb Jongho while he works, so you just look around the bay with little interest. Nothing is interesting about crates upon crates of goods. Your gaze keeps slipping back to Mingi's form though. Everything about him appears to be normal, but something about those eyes is unsettling and strikes fear in your stomach.
You wait until Jongho wraps around the back of some crates, eyes peeking out to make sure that Mingi is out of earshot before moving back to Jongho to ask him a few questions.
"Can you tell me a bit about Mingi?"
He lifts an eyebrow but continues to work as though you didn't say anything.
"Please?" A hesitant sigh escapes him, and you worry that you're prying too much for a few seconds, but Jongho dispels that concern with his next words.
"Sure, what do you want to know?"
"Anything. I can't understand him, and I've never really interacted with him. Compared to the other crewmembers, that is..."
"Right, yeah. That's how it is when people meet Mingi for the first time." Jongho nods, continuing his work as he speaks. "Mingi's personality is hard to read. I mean, he seems simple, but there's a lot of facets to him. He does anything Captain tells him to. Likes to watch Yunho work and listen to him talk about medical and philosophical shit. Talks to him a lot about emotions and understanding them better. Since Berserkers absorb emotional auras, he struggles a lot with keeping his emotions in check and not absorbing too much from the people around him. I'm better about controlling that only because my parents taught me how to as I grew up. And even if I'm not able to control it, they taught me how to keep it in and not let the aggression break through. Mingi can't do that. He's very much a loose cannon with little control. Innocent in a way because he doesn't understand emotions, but brutal and harsh. Moreso than anyone I've ever met. It's the way he was programmed though, and it's hard to rewire something like that, especially a Berserker."
"But... how did he get to be like that?" You ask, keeping your eyes on said man across the bay. He works in a rhythmic and robotic manner, almost like he isn't quite human.
"Do you know the nickname the military has for him?"
"I-I – uh, no, I didn't – didn't keep track of everyone. I honestly only knew of Hongjoong and Seonghwa. Yeosang through word of mouth more than anything. But no one else."
"He's called the Brute of Kebos."
You snap your head towards Jongho as you process the words. Jongho doesn't look back at you, however, he continues to tap away at his tablet, glancing between the screen and the crates in front of him every once in a while.
"For six years, he fought in an arena here on Kebos before they were outlawed. He would win every single time. Every fight. Flawless record. By the time he was sixteen, he was at the top of everyone's bet lists and at the top of the arena, which was expected because his father was in charge of the arena. He had won countless matches and beaten plenty of people. Kill after kill. Apparently, he was always eager to fight and kill. He was taught that people die every day, so no life is valuable or worthy of mercy. Death is natural, and it isn't wrong to end someone's life even if they've done nothing wrong. His body count... it's unimaginable."
You swallow roughly, and the sound seems to echo in your ears. It's so loud that Jongho must hear it, but he doesn't comment.
"Wh-Why would Hongjoong keep such a loose cannon on the crew?" You ask in attempts to recover a bit of a calm demeanor.
"He's useful in certain situations and on certain missions. Doesn't complain or anything like that either, which must be nice for Captain." Jongho hesitates and lifts his chin. His gaze doesn't focus on the crates this time. "Things haven't been the same since the last incident though."
"What do you mean? What incident?"
Jongho recovers in an instant, eyes growing wide, and he shakes his head to refocus on the tablet in his hands.
"What incident? No one said anything about an incident. There's no incident."
"You're so bad at lying, Choi Jo–"
A crash interrupts you. Jongho drops the tablet and lunges forward. His hand grips your hip tightly, and he pushes you behind his body as he looks out towards where Mingi just was. You can't see past his broad shoulders, but there is an undeniable spike of tension in the room now. Jongho's stance is defensive – almost like he's trying to shield you or protect you in some way.
"Mingi?" He calls out, tone hesitant and wary. His whole body is rigid before you, a stark contrast to your trembling hands and racing heart.
"Sorry, I knocked something over." Mingi's tone is cool and flat. There is no aggression in it, and that seems to calm Jongho down some.
"Carry on then," Jongho says with a nod. His hand leaves your hip, shoulders relaxing back to their normal state, and you step out from behind him to examine Mingi. He wears a strained and awkward smile, and Jongho's right – there is a strong sense of innocence about his actions. He moves back behind the crates before you can stare any longer.
"You thought he was going to hurt me, didn't you?" You state when Jongho turns back to face you. His eyes drag over your features, then he shakes his head a few times.
"That's only part of it," he mutters, stooping to pick up the tablet he dropped. "The incident I mentioned... one of the crew died by Mingi's hands during it. I was the only one there when it happened, and I couldn't stop Mingi. I guess it's just – just another burden of guilt that I have to bear."
Another? You note, eyes narrowing on Jongho. He motions back towards the crates without paying your expression any mind.
"We should finish this up. I want to get back to playing poker so I can kick your ass. You're playing the next round since I showed you how to play the first time."
You scoff at his cheeky remark. "I'll show you how to play since you're so fucking awful at it. The only thing I learned from watching you was how to be bad."
"Ouch, those are bold words. That's something to look forward to then. It'll be like when we spar. You talking big, then me inevitably planting you on your ass every single time."
"Okay, for the record, I let you win. Men have fragile egos, and you need to be preserved, Jongho. What kind of person would I be if I destroyed that fragile ego?"
"Oh, so you're being gracious then?"
"I'm letting you feel good about yourself."
"Well then, maybe I'll let you win poker so that you can feel good about yourself. How about that?"
You don't respond; instead, you merely shake your head and roll your eyes a bit. There's a bit of levity in the air now, one that you welcome with open arms. It's been too long since you've been able to let yourself joke around like this with other people, casting your worries to the side and letting things happen. It sends you back to a small room on Eros, one full of six wide-eyed recruits all falling under the guidance of one Han Jisung, and for once, you relive the memory with a sense of peace in your mind.