i was dumped with a load of homework so i wasn't able to start writing earlier, sorry!
ps i'll use a random date as a birthday so... uhm..
!Trigger Warning!
————
Today's a normal day, I'd come over to watch my friends practice to improve their skills. They're all so enthusiastic about volleyball that I don't get it, but as long as I could see my friends happy then I'm happy too.
I'm watching Kindaichi and Kunimi just pass the ball to each other, trying their bests to improve their passes/receives. I look over to my left and find Kageyama trying to ask Oikawa-san again to teach him how to do a jump serve.
Kageyama's not really sociable, he has trouble telling everyone how he feels but to me... I could just see it. No matter how hard he tries to hide himself, I could still tell. He's just a boy that's striving for the best for himself.
"Tobio, how about you play with Kunimi and Kindaichi first?" I ask, walking up to my friend, trying my best to avert his attention to something else. He glances at our friends and turns to me to nod. I grab his hand and we run to the two boys. "Hey guys let him join!"
"Does he want to?" Kindaichi looks at me and I nod, pushing Kageyama to join them. "Okay then." He smiles at the two stone-faced kids and the three of them started playing with each other.
I'm only watching them play but, all of them are happy. Kunimi and Kageyama don't usually smile, well they're not smiling right now... but their eyes are.
Kindaichi grabs my wrist and makes me play with them too. I keep messing up since I don't know how to play the sport but they still made me. Kunimi snickered and patted my head when I messed up for the 20th time. Even Kageyama's trying his best to not laugh.
I laugh along with them and we continue playing the sport. I got the hang of it by the time we had to go home. I walk home with Kageyama since we live near each other. I would tell him stories from my childhood and he'd give a few reactions.
"We're all friends, right? You looked so happy back there! You even smiled when you usually don't." I say, pointing to his face, laughing when I saw him turn red. "But hey, if you need someone to talk to about your troubles.. I'm always here." I give him a warm smile, hearing a chuckle from him. "A pretty face needs a pretty smile; keep that look."
I wave goodbye to him as I run to my mother who we met on the way. Kageyama gave a small nod and went to his house. I glance to see if he was still there, but he went home.
I stayed friends with all of them, becoming all of their shoulder to cry on— only Kindaichi cries though. Kageyama and I are extremely close now, I always tell him that I can see right through him. He still wouldn't believe me.
Just then.. things started to happen.
Kageyama started bossing everyone around, anger driven out from his desire to win. He yells at a player whenever they couldn't get the ball, if they couldn't spike his sets. It would've been okay if it were limited to other players.. but even to his friends.
"Kunimi, you're so slow!", "Kindaichi, you could get that if you tried!", "You're not putting your effort into this!"
Everyone has asked me to get him back, the old him back; I couldn't do it just yet. I can't tell him yet, I can't ask him about it yet. I want to tell him but he's just blinded by his desires.
"(Y/n), you understand right? They should try harder because they can." Kageyama rants, drinking from his carton of milk. "You always understood me no matter what. Thank you."
"No.. problem.." Actually Tobio, I don't even know who you are anymore. You're different. "Good luck, you can win this game again." He gives me a smile, pulling me into a hug.
"Thank you, (Y/n)."
The moment the game started, I couldn't help but feel anxious. Kindaichi and Kunimi told me, "(Y/n) do it or he won't stop. He only listens to you now, our friendship's over.." I know that, I know that already but why can't all of us stay friends?
The first set wasn't going well.. Kageyama kept yelling to his teammates, I could only hear his complaints and the audiences' whispers and gossips. Kindaichi and Kunimi keeps on trying to tell me to tell him already.
Kindaichi didn't get Kageyama's set, neither did Kunimi nor anyone. Kageyama's about to lose it. Kunimi looked at me and I know..
"Coach, let's... bench out Kageyama." I tell the coach as quiet as possible, but Kageyama seemed to hear me. I'm sorry.
Coach benched him, and I'm seated beside him. I could hear quiet sobs, sniffling.. he's devastated. Did I betray him? Did I do the right thing for my best friend? Was it the best option?
The match ended and I gathered all the bottles, putting them in the bag. I felt a hand on my wrist, looking to my right to see Kageyama. His grip was neither tight nor loose, he's confused. Every second his grip loosened, I feel like this is the end of our friendship as well.
We went home together, he walked ahead of me; we both walked slowly but he's tall so he's about two meters ahead. I stopped walking when he turned around, looking at me with tears in his eyes.
"Why?" He asks, gritting his teeth and clenching his fists inside his pockets. "(Y/n), you said you understood me. Why? You're my only friend right now, none of them likes to be around me." I am your only friend, I'm everyone's friend.
"Tobio.. you went too far and they stopped getting your sets. We had to decide something that's best for everyone. Including you. You're too blinded by your desires, you can't see the people around you anymore. You can't see the colors, all you see is black and white. You can't understand anyone's feelings anymore.."
"If you hadn't asked to get me benched out, I could've went to Nationals." He's not including anyone in his dreams.
"That's the problem, Tobio. Ever since Oikawa-san had trampled you, after he said he wanted to beat you, you changed. You stopped saying 'we' and 'us,' you only ever said 'me,' 'myself,' and 'I.' Do you think people would still try to get along with you if you're like that? Can't you see it? That, even our friendship is falling apart. You don't include anyone.. you only think of yourself."
"You're cold."
"So are you, worse than me actually."
"You never understood me. If you have, then you wouldn't be saying all of these things! Is it Kindaichi? Kunimi? You changed!" I scoff at his words, stupid.
"I only stay.. because I care about you. You will never be able to get along with someone if you won't even listen to the truth."
"You're a liar." He glared at me, only to make me laugh.
"I might be a liar, but I'll still stay. We are friends after all. Don't ever forget that."
~~~
He would avoid me, but I would still chase him. We both have nasty nicknames, the king and the attention seeker. Everyone called me an attention seeker when they saw me chasing him.
I always stay by his side, I still talk to him even if he doesn't listen to me. He would try to push me away, embarrass me or even just plainly hurt my feelings by yelling at me; I would keep my head up and smile, nothing else mattered to me but his happiness.
We got into high school and I really decided to going to Karasuno, my cousin studied there and my mom just made me study there too. I was surprised to meet him here, I still try to get his attention and cheer him up.
Kageyama met someone from the past, Hinata Shouyou; as far as I can remember, he was one of Kageyama's most memorable opponent. Now, he's his most memorable best friend. I'm just a distant memory.
"(Y/n), so you've been a manager since then?" I smile at Shimizu-san, helping her to refill the bottles. "You said, Kageyama and you were friends?"
"Are friends." I correct her, well we really aren't.. but for me we still are.
We went back to the gym, handing out bottles to the players. Tsukishima would tease me and I'd tease him back, just by irritating him by only smiling at his snarky remarks.
I give Kageyama his bottle, giving him a towel as well. He took it from me and quickly turned away to leave. We barely interact now but as the attention seeker that I am, I still do everything I can.
"Tobio, I have a suggestion." He turns to me with a cold glare, raising his brow as he drank from his bottle. "How about trying a different type of set? You know.. just a little? It could help..? Maybe Hinata would like it too, he is your friend after all.."
"This dumbass?" He asks, pointing to Hinata who was quietly drinking from his bottle, choking when Kageyama pointed at him. "My friend?"
"Well.. you wouldn't call me a friend, so maybe you'd call him a friend." He mumbled something but I didn't hear it. "It's only a suggestion from an ex-friend of yours."
"You're still.. a friend." Oh, I am? "But you're just.."
"Kageyama!" A girl suddenly went to him, stomping her feet as she walked. She's shorter than me, well I am taller than Hinata. "You didn't come! I told you, she likes you! Why won't you accept her confession?"
"Mona, I told you I don't want to." They're close. "I don't have time for that." He's comfortable with her, who is she? "Just stop." The girl pouts at him and he.. chuckled. Dis cos tang.
The girl stayed and waited for Kageyama to get home. Though he and I aren't as close as we were from before, we still walk home together since we do live in the same neighborhood.
Kageyama casually speaks to the girl like they've known each other for years. I feel left out, I can't even try to speak to Kageyama. He would look at me to check if I'm still behind them.
He suddenly stopped walking, turning to me with both his hands in his pockets. I avoided eye contact and continued to walk, I heard him sigh once I passed him. I saw his sister, giving her a wave and a smile.
"(Y/n) how about..." She cuts herself when she noticed Mona. "Can you stay over? Just for a little while, I have to go buy some groceries.. Tobio, you bring the other girl somewhere near her house then come back home to accompany (Y/n)." I was about to protest when she waved and left.
"I'll.. get some food ready while you're gone, keys..?" He gave me the keys, turning to Mona but I grabbed his hand. "Your bag, I'll bring it to your room."
"Just go inside and wait for me." He gestures his friend, walking away to get her home.
————
I don't know what my sister wants to happen but that was awkward. Mona's helping me try to get a girlfriend for her to stop liking me, ew. I don't want to like anyone ever again.. liking them would only hurt you.
I texted (Y/n) that she could wear my sweater if she ever feels cold, she always fails to keep herself warm so I had to inform her right away. I don't want her catching a cold, I'd have to take responsibility and I don't want that.
"Hey, that (Y/n) girl.. who is she?" Don't even ask. "If you're sister made her stay, then is she your girlfriend?"
I didn't answer, it's a stupid question. If (Y/n) was my girlfriend then I wouldn't have paid attention to her and just went along with my girlfriend. (Y/n) and I aren't even talking as much as we used to before but, everyone still thinks that she's my girlfriend.
Mona asked me to just leave her by the end of the street, maybe she felt awkward. I couldn't care less. I went back home, finding (Y/n) asleep at the table. She could've napped on the couch. She's a heavy sleeper and I can't wake her up once she falls asleep.
I carried her to my room, placing her gently on my bed. She looks so petite wearing my sweater.. she always used to wear them.
I saw her necktie stick out, she's still in her uniform— of course she would be. I can't change her clothes because uhm violation of personal space so I just took her necktie off. Suddenly, she took my hand and intertwined our fingers. Let go.
"Tobi..o.." She snuggled closer and hugged me.
"I'm not mad." She suddenly smiles, hugging me tighter. I can't move, she won't let me. I'm stuck on the bed with her hugging me, holding my hand as she slept. "I have to change my clothes." I give her a kiss on the lips, she looked like she was asking for it. "You dumbass.."
"I'm.... so..rry..." I'm sorry too.
~~~
I'm kinda lucky that it's Saturday today.. If it was a weekday I would've gotten teased by four-eyes and Hinata for going to school with (Y/n). I had to sleep on the same bed, there's no other place for me to sleep, the couch gave me a back injury before.
I woke up with (Y/n) still hugging me. It would've fine if she and I are together but we aren't so this is not.. nice. She looks at me with furrowed brows, oh she was awake.
"Why did you not wake me up?" She complains, hitting my chest lightly. What is she? A kid? "My mom's going to tease the hell out of me again."
"What do you want to talk about so badly?" She didn't say anything, instead she moved closer to have her head rest on my chest. This is tiring. "(Y/n), what are you hiding?" She gives me her arm, neither telling me nor looking at me. When I held her wrist, she hissed.
I moved my hand to hold hers, carefully rolling the sleeves of the sweater up her arm. Fucking uniform. I unbutton her sleeves and roll them as well, finding red and purple marks on her arm.
"Make me stop? Please?" There are cuts all over her arms, some were probably still fresh. "I help people, but this is me.. I can decide for someone but I can't decide for myself. Make me promise you..."
"If I make you, will you really stop?" She nods, looking up at me. "Then promise me.. Don't hurt yourself when you can't take it anymore." She smiled, rolling her sleeves down to cover her arms.
I got off the bed, forcing her to get off me. She frowned and hugged a pillow close to her body, well I have to get up and do something.
"Tobio, do you remember how I wanted to dive into the ocean? Act like a mermaid or something?" She asks, chuckling to herself as she sits up to talk to me. "I still kinda want to be a diver, will I become one?"
"If you do your best, then you can. Nothing's impossible as long as you can try." I pat her head, getting a kiss on the cheek. She looks at me innocently, chuckling at my face. "Don't."
"But I like you.."
~~~
Tobio said yes. He just said yes. Like really just yes. I had to ask him what he was trying to say since he was just like, "yes." The fuck is the yes for?
He started acting lovey-dovey with me, giving me kisses on the lips, cheeks and forehead; he'd hold my hand while they were on break. I asked him why and he said it's because he said yes. I swear Tobio you are incredibly, adorable.
He treats my arm everyday, telling me not to hurt myself ever again. He really sounds like a broken record, I would have to distract myself just so that I won't be hearing him say the same thing all over again.
Tobio continued doing that until we graduated from high school. The cuts healed but of course there were scars, I still used a jacket to cover myself.
I've been so stressed out these days with all the work that's been given to me. I'm trying my best to do everything and anything inside a day, everyone threw their works to me.
Because of all the stress from work, I have been going to the hospital to get checked up. The anxiety is just building up and Tobio's matches are starting soon, I want to go watch them.. every moment of it.
"(Y/n), are you coming with me to watch my match this Saturday?" I shake my head, rubbing my temples when I felt my eyes sting. I'm working at the moment, and he just got home. "Why? You never come."
"I want to, but I can't.. Look at the amount of work I'm given, Tobio I'll really try to come. I'm sorry."
"It's fine, I never said I was mad. You can continue your work but.. rest. I arrive home at 2 AM, seeing you still on your laptop. Let's go to bed, please?" He held my hands and saved the filed before shutting down the laptop. He kissed my forehead and dragged me to the bedroom.
"Tobio, I'm sorry.. I promise, I'll be there to watch you. I'll finish my work and leave to watch you." I give him a smile, feeling tears form in my eyes. He has always waited for me to be there.. then I'll be there.
"(Y/n), it's fine. I love you and your health is more important than anything else right now. You can come watch when you can, I won't force you." He pressed a soft kiss on my lips; not wanting to let him go, I wrapped my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss.
"I love you, I'm sorry.. I will be there."
~~~
I left for China, we had a match in Beijing since they're the hosts for the league this year. Everyone else brought their girlfriends with them and I'm sitting alone, staring at her picture, wishing that she was here too.
Ushijima-san looks so Happy with his fiancée, Sakusa-san is surprisingly also a man in love, Atsumu-san... he's showing off his girlfriend to everyone. If (Y/n) was here I would only do that if she's comfortable.. I miss her.
I don't know.. ever since I left the house, her embracing me and giving me a kiss before I left.. There was just something.. I always long for her when she's not around to watch me play, but this time.. there's a heavy weight on my chest.
Today's the match. We all warmed up, practiced our serves and attacks before the game started.
"Kageyama, let's practice one last time." Bokuto-san requests and I nod. I was about to turn around to get a ball, seeing (Y/n) by the crowd. "Who are you looking at?" He asks. I couldn't respond, is that (Y/n)? She's smiling, wearing a white dress and waving at me. "You're staring into blank space bro, there's no one there."
"No someone's.." I furrow my brows when (Y/n) suddenly disappeared. Where did she go?
"Get yourself together, come onnnnn." No, (Y/n) was just there. She came. She really came. But how?
I help Bokuto-san practice one last time, he smiled proudly at himself when he did a perfect attack. He requested to try it again, throwing me the ball.
"Tobio." I immediately turn to the voice, it's (Y/n)'s; I turned around but she's not here. I heard her laughter. Am I going crazy?
I rubbed my head when the ball fell on me. Bokuto-san decided that we should rest for a little bit before the game started.
I was distracted because I heard her voice. It was loud and clear, it's when she's happy to see me, when she's proud. The laugh that I heard, it was when I'd give her a kiss on the cheek.
I see (Y/n) on the bleachers again, I excuse myself from everyone and run there. Cameras followed me, filming my every move. I look at the audience that was on the bleachers, she's hiding again. In the end I just gave autographs to the kids on the bleachers.
The game started and I had to go back, I felt a little fired up knowing that (Y/n) came. Thank you, Love.
~~~
Our match ended and we won, I got praised by the commentators and by coach, even by my teammates. I felt so happy to know that (Y/n) came to me, she came to see me.
We all walk outside and their fiancées/girlfriends went up to them. I look around to look for (Y/n), she must be planing on surprising me. I look at the red handkerchief she gave me, I'd be wiping her tears once she sees me.
My phone vibrated, it's a message from her.
"Congrats Love! I knew you could do it! I love you!" - Love
(Y/n) suddenly called, making me smile. I answer right away and put my phone up to my ear. I heard her laugh, cute. I miss you, where are you?
"Hey Tobio, congratulations on winning. I gave you that red hanky just in case you cry.. you know. Just know that I'm very proud of you, that I love you, and you really made me happy!"
"I love y—"
"Don't cry, okay? I have news for you, it'll come to you in a few seconds after I end this call. I'm here, I love you." Why would I cry? You came, of course I'd smile.
I turn around when I felt a hand on my shoulder, seeing Atsumu-san with a gloomy face. Everyone else on the team was behind him. All of them didn't look happy, their girlfriends were crying..
"What's going on?" I ask and even Atsumu-san's about to cry. All of them couldn't look me in the eye, what the hell is going on? He gave me his phone and made me read whatever it was.
I trembled when I read what it was, the weight in my chest came back and my tears started to fall. I look at them, shaking my head; it's not true, that's a lie! No, that's not true.. she came..
(Y/n) came, in a white dress. She had curls, light makeup on, no accessories and.. just that bright smile on her face. This isn't true.
"I'm sorry... but she's gone..."
"Hey, first of all, I became a diver! Secondly, I'll be there to watch you! You won't ever be worried about not having me there, from now on.. I'll always be by your side!
Keep it up, Love! I love you!
(L/n) (Y/n)
June 17, 1996 - August 19, 2018"
Text from: Kageyama (Y/n)
sorry if this was only a half length oneshot! others may also be this short too so please do forgive me hehe. i'm sorry to the requestor if he/she did not wanted that ending HAHAHAHAHAH i love you all! i hope you uhm enjoyed this! bye and good mornight sweethearts <3