Will i ever believe in love?
Again?
That is the biggest question of my life after my dad left us three weeks ago.
I thought dad and mom will have their forever in each other's arms. I witness that for seventeen years of my life. I saw them dancing in a dim light living room with silent music. I saw them laugh together with their small jokes. I saw them kiss each day with passionate and love. I saw them sing together their favourite songs. I saw them hugging for hours without boring each other.
I thought we could celebrate their 50th anniversary or their seventy fifth or even hundredth. I thought i'll see them grow old together. And in just one snap. Everything has change. Dad will never come back. He choose to be with that other woman.
I sigh. I think about that again. Even i promise a million times to myself that i wont let it affect me. It is just so sad and i cry for this for so many times before but the pain is still as fresh as it is when the first night he left us. He left me. The only man i thought would never do it. The only man that i at least think whenever i hear the word forever.
"Andy!" I hear my bestfriend cried my name the moment i close the door of my locker.
"Hey" I put a smile in my face and open my arms to hug her and she hugged me back. "How's summer vacation?"
"Well Georgia is pretty cool. Grandmom has always wanted me to eat a lot and we visit other relatives too." Hanna spend her last two weeks in her Mum's hometown in Georgia. She does this every year, and i felt envy my grandmom's house is so far from New York. She lives in London.
Hanna is small girl with natural curly and dark brown hair. I know her for four years and we've been bestfriend throughout high school. She has gray eyes like mine and there is no wonder why lots of boys are after him. She always has this effect on guys that they take second glances at her and they drool at her.
"Cool. Are you ready to start another stressful school year?" I joked.
We both giggled and start walking on our next class.
"No way." She answered but there are still light in her eyes. Someone's on the good mood on the very first year of junior year.
"Have you heard the three guys transferred from school in London?" She said while hugging her two books. John Green's Paper Town and The Fault in Our Stars, i think.
"Nope. And i dont care"
"I heard they're pretty hot, cute. cool. and good looking. All of them." She said smiling.
"So what? Will you use your charmspeak again? Oh! dont tell me you'll fangirl again?"
I tease her and gently push her away. She just chuckles and put her teasing smile at me. I knew her so well that she has always a crush on every cute guy on campus.
"Actually i already saw them and ask their names from our other classmates. and..."
She pauses knowing I am looking at her with wide eyes and dropped jaw. She chuckles again. Well she is always a happy kid She is always like this even the stressful finals you still see her smile. She is so optimistic in everything.
"I'll guess. You'll say you already stalk them?"I guessed and i have a feeling that my hunch was right.
"Yeah right." another chuckle was heard in the corridor of the school.
"I knew it!" We both grin at each other.
Finally we enter our room. I saw the same kids from last school year and thank God they are all friends to me. I get sick with the same faces but this is better than having different ones and start the awkward acquaintances again.
This subject is boring. I wasnt paying attentinon in any Mrs. Styles' discussion. As always. She always blabbering about something none of us related with. She is so intelligent that whenever she cracks up a joke no one laughs. Because the joke is too deep no one understands. And she has this imaginary friend she calls "class". Thank God the clock strikes twelve and it is lunch time. My classmates starts to put their things together and hurriedly went out from the classroom, I bet their stomach were all growling like mine.
I and Hanna made our way to cafeteria and sit in the same chair for two years. We choose to be in the window side when we were freshman because we both like looking in the sky no matter what mood it is in. And we also view here the city.
The cafeteria has always been this noisy with oh so called "cool kids". The cocky football players who always pretend that they own the school. They are the loudest in the whole cafeteria. Yeah they are hot, cutie or what so ever cause of their appearances lean tall and muscular but they irritate me to bones. The mean girls who wear ten kilograms of make up and wear the shortest skirt in the history. They always wear four inches of heels and curl their pathetic hair. You will never ever want to be in their way, they will make you feel really small. They will trampled you like you were some kind of cockroach. I have this experience with them and i walk pass through them and then they all started to spray the Victoria Secret's cologne cause they said i smell bad when in fact i took a bath that day. I even suffocate from their strong smell. Then there are these goth kids who never smile. They always wear black, having eyeliners in their eye lids. They dye their hair in different weird colours. Sometimes red, purple and even green! They are the outcast. Their world is so so far from us. So far that you need to be in the jet plane for hundred years to land in their planet. And these are the nerds who wear large and thick eye glasses. If you are looking for one of them there is no doubt they are in the library, laboratory or with teacher's office cause obviously they are THE TEACHER'S FAVOURITE" and even in lunch time they read books. Thank God me and Hanna belong to "normal kids".
Out of the sudden. The cocky foot ball players stop playing with their football the mean girls stop looking at their mirror the goth frown more and the nerds stop reading as the three guys enter the door. Take note THREE HOT GUYS.
I notice that me and Hanna stop eating too and pay attention to the three guys walking to the counter.
"It's them Andy."
She was referring to the three guys who just enter the cafeteria and they were laughing and fooling around and tripping the smaller kids of their size who come in their way. Bully. They are bully. I think. And then they walk like the models of Calvin Klein or like the three kings to hail. They have this effect in the whole cafeteria like a nuclear bomb. Everyone stops what they're doing including me and we're all like watching the opening of a very beautiful flower for the first time.
For a moment i catch myself staring in that certain guy in the counter, one of the three, ordering lasagna and orange juice. Yeah they are all cute but this guy is beyond cute. He is heartbreakingly handsome.
I look back at Hanna staring and smiling at me.
"What?" I ask.
" You see they are all Greek Gods."
"Like Zeus Poseidon and Hades?"
"Yeah. Like Zeus Poseidon and Hades." She repeated. "Look at the guy who wears Red checkered. He is Jake. He is cute eh?"
I must agree. He is so tall and having tan skin like Brazilian models I watch on telly. If they were the three Gods then he must be Poseidon. He has this bright smile that could hypnotize every girl. i think.
"And then there's Ivan. The guy in black long sleeves. Even cuter."
Hannah continued.
He is tallest among the three. He has pale skin but red cheeks and lips. Hanna's right he is even cuter, not cuter is not the right term, it is way hotter. But he must be Hades. There was no trace of smile in his face unlike what's on Jake. Serious eh? Maybe this is his way of attracting girls. Silent but the evilest.
"Xander. The guy in the Blue. "
Oh this is the guy who caught my eyes. I hear Hanna's still blabbering but i dont listen to her anymore. I keep staring at him who starting to pay his lunch. He is so damn attractive that when you look in his eyes you wouldn't dare to look away. Having this muscular body and perfect feature of face, i might say he is Zeus. He is the most handsome in the history of history. I've never seen a guy as good looking as him. I hear other kids murmuring in their own too. I think that is all about them too.
"Andy!" Jolted when i hear Hanna scream my name. I look back again at her.
"Are you still listening to me?"
"Yeah of course." I assured her.
"So who do you like among the three?"
"Xander?"
"Good choice. I like the tan one. Jake."
"Dont tell me you'll fangirl him again? like you did with.."
"Dont you dare utter that guy's name again Andy or i will throw this apple to your face."
"Ha! Calm down, calm down" I held my both hands in the air to surrender. We laughed together. I forgot, It really irritates her whenever I say that guy's name. Her ex.
She held an apple with her right hand and threaten to throw it to me. We both giggled. We both know how much he break my bestfriend's heart. I know she never wanted to hear Adrian's name ever like ever again.
She fangirl that guy from middle school and they become on for seven months when we enter the freshman year. He made her believe that she is the only one and he loved her so damn much. He made her special by giving her flowers and chocolate and bring her to restaurants, but that was just a part of the game of Adrian. He and his football team mates just made a bet that if Hanna gave her virginity to Adrian then there would be a prize, Two hundred thousand for the winner. Thank God Hanna was smarter and didnt gave it to him. The guy already graduated and Hanna wont able to see him anymore. I witness her heartbreak and breakdown by what just happen to her. It was another reason for me not to fall in love but. There is just something about Xander.
Oh no. This must be bad.
Have you ever look in stranger's eyes and felt the 'click'. sound?Well not literally cause you might think i am a psycho but you know it was a feeling. And that is what i felt the moment i landed my eyes on him. Crazy isnt it?
I snap into the reality when i hear the bell rang. Kids started to go out and so we did. But the three transferee still remain in their seats. Still talking with each other and laughing silently as if they didnt hear the bell rang. School rules' breakers these three. I continue to walk to the canteen's exit but my eyes were still glued to Xander's. And suddenly he landed his eyes on me too..
What?
Oh my gosh. I look away and take big steps immediately. I got panick. His eyes were just so beautiful. And then his other two companions, Jake and Ivan started to look at me too. My heart beats so fast, I get so nervous. It wasnt everyday that I've been looked/stared at by the three most attractive guys in my school right now. And in my clumsiness i bumped a chair.
Stupid.
The chair moved forward and made a loud sound. I almost tripped and i might fall if only Hanna didnt hold me.
"Andy are you ok.?" Hanna who was at my back, held my elbow and there was a worry in her tone.
I heard Ivan laugh so loud that make my cheeks heat up and the I think Jake started to laugh too.
"Yes. Stupid me." I whisper and scratch my scalp, sign of stupidity. I look at him again. I looked at Xander. Now I am really aware that there are three pairs of eyes looking at me. I close my eyes for a second knowing they are all laughing at me.
"So that was his effect in you huh?' I heard Hanna whispers in my left ear as she helped me fix the chair.
I fix myself and look away from them. Then asked myself why i did look again at him after tripping when i should just continue to walk as if nothing happened?, to what? Embarrass myself more? ugh. Spell stupid A.N.D.Y. and it's me.
I continue to walk and Hanna's hand were still in my elbow. I walk faster because what has just happened keep repeating in my head. God. I just embarrass myself to the guy i have crush on. To the guy i have love at first sight with.
Hanna has a different next subject as mine so she proceed to her classroom and i go straight to my locker first. Just to get my book for Spanish class. I saw my folders and books untouched and the picture of me and Hanna in the back of the door.
Students were on their own class rooms now and it was just me in this hall.
I close my locker with a soft bang and sigh cause i am still the turtle girl who move slowly the reason why i'm always late at class. And then I suddenly jolted when i realize the guy i saw in the cafeteria stand next to me. Staring at me and i stare at him with wide eyes gaze.
Xander.