Dedicated to angelicmb12
Chapter Forty Three
Chapter Song: Light A Fire - Rachel Taylor
(This song is so beautiful, listen while reading the letter.)
Dear Elena,
If you're reading this, just know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that things had to turn out the way they did. I'm sorry I was never good enough for you and no matter what I did it was never enough. I'm sorry for treating you the way I did in the beginning. I'm sorry for Tyler's death because it was caused by my actions. I'm sorry for my actions that ever hurt you. I'm sorry that we just can't be together. But, I can tell you one thing I am not sorry for.
I am not sorry for ever falling in love with you Elena Marie Carter.
You were the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life. You don't know how much I really loved you because I never showed it. I never showed it because I was scared to fall in love. I never felt that way before towards someone ever. You made me see some of the good things in the world.
You should love the person that makes you glad you're alive. God, that was so true for me at least. Every morning when I would wake up, my day would be slightly better just because I knew I was going to see you that day. You had so much over me. You changed me.
You're filling my body with emotions that I just can't explain and feelings that I've never felt before in my entire life! I wish you were next to me right now. I want to feel you in my bloodstream and I want you intertwined with my existence. I want to stay up all night with you and hear you laugh just one more time.
You are everything and I am nothing.
In the end I did everything that I could to keep you safe and it wasn't enough. I was never enough for you and you need to see that. Yes, what we had together was great and I wouldn't have changed it for the world. But, not everything that we want comes out to be the way we wanted it to happen. You and I both know that.
In the end we are all just humans drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness. We knew that, and we believed it.
I had to let you go baby. You were too good to be caught in my life in danger. I couldn't have you be killed or even in any bad situation ever again. I can't be responsible for another death and especially not yours. The next funeral I attend I don't want it to be yours. I did what was best for both of us, please understand that.
I'm so sorry if I ever made you feel like I never loved you, because I loved you so fucking much. Try to forget about me because I'm trying to forget about you. It would be too hard to live a life just thinking about you and what we could've had and not have it at all.
I love you more than to the moon and back.
Love,
Austin