might be triggering x
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I don't know what possessed me to call, but I did anyway.
When someone actually picked up, I felt my heart jump.
"Suicide Hotline. Can I help you in any way?" a guy spoke. He sounded young enough, so I hoped he knew some of what I was going through.
"You could tell me why everyone hates me, since I don't know," I spoke dully. I didn't want to cry, but I knew it was definitely a possibility.
"I'm sorry. It may seem hard to fit in, but you were born to be different. Everyone is," he spoke back. I furrowed my eyebrows, thinking about what he'd said.
"Miss?" he called when I didn't answer for a few seconds.
"I'm sorry, I was thinking," I sighed, put my head in my hand.
"What's the point of living if all I do is cry and get made fun of and fail my classes?" I thought out loud, feeling the tears come through.
"I think there's more to living than grades or who can't accept your differences," he told me softly. I breathed out, shaking my head.
"Like what? Sitting around?" I spoke harshly, not understanding he was only trying to help.
"Finding yourself. Doing what you love. Loving someone else," he sighed, and I wrinkled my nose.
"Seems like you've got your life figured out," I dead-panned.
"You should find something you love and focus on that," he continued even though I'd only been insulting him and his opinions.
"It's not just doing that, though. There's no one for me to talk to. I sit here all alone with all of my emotions bottled up and nothing to do about it."
"I could direct you to my line every time you call," he suggested, and I sighed.
"Don't these calls get recorded? Why would I want my problems on tape?" I pursed my lips, awaiting his answer.
"Selectively by me, yes," he replied. He continued when I didn't have anything to say.
"Is there an address that I could have?" he questioned, and I chuckled.
"You're allowed to come to my house?"
"I can say that I tracked your call because you threatened to kill yourself and that I was closer than any ambulance or police force. I might get fired, but. . ." I could tell he really had no good reason.
So then why did I give him my address? Why did he worry so much about me? Why did I let him in? Why did we talk for hours?
How did we become best friends?
Until Niall, I'd never met anyone who could calm me with his touch. And I never needed anyone ever again.
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thanks to enticingniall for requesting! I hope you liked it, and I'm very sorry for the wait!
I love you all, and I hope you take some of the advice that Niall had for your own life. I know I should.
and my messages are open anytime
Mel xx