"The breakup was absolutely heartbreaking for me. I can't just have meaningless relationships with women. I have to find miss right in order to have a relationship. There's got to be that big moment when she comes along." - Justin Timberlake about his relationship with Britney Spears.
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"Look at you, Jade! Look at how you cute you were. You were so excited that day, it was your first ever concert," Norma says as she points at a picture on the photo album as James, Jade and Perrie are sitting beside her. This picture was taken years ago, at Perrie's first headlining tour, when she was eighteen years old and with one record breaking debut album out. Hours before the crowd was even allowed into the venue, fourteen year old Jade was already waiting in line with her mother. She was dressed in a shirt that had Perrie's face on it, sunglasses and a hat that the album name was embroidered on. A four-year age gap might not seem like much on paper, but as Jade looks at the photo, she can't help but feel embarrassed. Perrie looked like a goddess that night, and Jade was an awkward teen who loved her way too much and wasn't afraid to show it.
"Mom! I look terrible here, don't show Perrie that," Jade tells Norma and tries to turn the page, which is being held by Perrie. Perrie takes out her phone, and despite Jade's objections, takes a photo of the printed picture.
"You looked adorable, you have nothing to worry about," Perrie argues and puts her phone back down. To Jade's relief, Norma moves on to show Jade's baby photos, and it is a much safer territory. It is evident that Perrie is genuinely interested. Her full attention is given to those photos, and she points at the ones she likes the most and asks for the stories behind them. Jade is feeling proud and joyous, because it is clear that Perrie changed so much since the day they met. Perrie knows how to show her true colors now, and, it turns out that she actually cares. More than anyone else ever did.
When darkness settles and Jade's parents ask her to show Perrie where she will be sleeping, Perrie follows Jade up the stairs. They get to a room with a single size bed, a desk and a bookshelf, in which Perrie's luggage has already been brought into by her security earlier.
"Is this the guest room?" Perrie asks in a slightly confused voice, because it is not what she expected. She turns to Jade, and with pleading eyes that she knows Jade can't resist, speaks. "I don't want to be here all by myself. Can I please stay in your room with you? I don't think you understand how much I've missed you." Like always, Jade just can't refuse to any of Perrie's requests, and soon enough, she is helping her bring her suitcases into Jade's bedroom.
"I'm going to take a shower now, I won't be long. You can look around, even though there's nothing really interesting in here. Do whatever you want and I'll be back before you know it," she assures Perrie and exits the room. Perrie thinks about how she should probably be using this time to call Alex, but doesn't really want to do that, so she texts him goodnight instead and then looks for a socket so she can charge her phone. There is one right above the desk, and as Perrie plugs her charger in, something catches her eye. There is a folded paper on the desk, and since Jade told Perrie she can look around, she doesn't feel guilty when she opens it. There, she sees Jade's handwriting, and a letter that starts with the words My Perriwinkle, signed by Jade at the bottom. Unable to stop herself, Perrie reads the whole thing, beginning to end, twice, and then puts it back down and sits on Jade's twin size bed. She assumes that she was never meant to read that, but is glad she did, because this letter holds Jade's completely honest and raw thoughts. Her heart breaks knowing that all Jade wanted her to do was wait. If she never got together with Alex, Jade and her could have been something by now. Perrie could explain to Jade that a part of the reason why she is dating Alex is in order to distract the public from its anger towards Jade, but that is just an excuse to a decision Perrie made when she was broken and confused. Jade is more important to her than Alex will ever be, and she needs to make that clear.
The thing is, though, even if Alex was out of the picture, Perrie is not sure if Jade and her could stand the test of time. After all, they have been through so much in just a couple of months. In order to potentially make it work this time, she is going to have to understand exactly what it is that Jade needs in a relationship. So when Jade steps into the room, Perie decides that this is what she is going to find out. Jade turns off the light, and Perrie and her get comfortable on the bed with an appropriate distance between them. It's quiet, and their soft voices complete the scene.
"Things are not so bad anymore in LA, you know?" Perrie begins. "My PR team is going to release a statement on Friday, saying that it's all my fault, and you had nothing to do with it, and even though it's not an excuse, my mental health was shit and people need to understand that. The point is, you can come back to LA whenever you're ready, because everyone's going to move on very soon, that's how it is in this industry. Indiana is nice, and it can be your little getaway, but your work and your friends are all back in LA." What she doesn't say is that LA, just like anywhere else, feels pointless without Jade.
"That's the plan, but I don't know how I'm going to do that. I'm just a little terrified, to be honest. I got literal death threats when the whole story blew up, and I know they probably don't mean anything, but it is scary and I've never dealt with it before. When I go back to LA, I feel like I should get one of those expensive places with really good security. And, to be fair, I don't know if I can handle living on my own there. It's just too much," Jade explains, and she makes perfect sense. She has every reason to feel the way she does after what she's been through, and Perrie understands her completely.
"I get it," Perrie softly says. "I don't want to stress you out, but if you want to, you can always move in with me, or even just stay for a couple of nights. I have the security and everything else all settled, and I've got an extra room. You don't have to give me an answer now, just think about it."
"I will," Jade answers sweetly, and leads them into silence. Perrie knows that this is her chance to direct the conversation where she wants it to go, but doesn't find the words to do so. What is the right way to approach such a sensitive, loaded topic? Jade tells her goodnight, and Perrie has no time to think further about the it.
"Wait, Jade," she says, sounding almost panicked. "Can I ask you something?"
"What is it?"
"If we ever got back together, do you think it could work?"
"It depends."
"What do you mean?" Perrie asks in a voice full of hope.
"Well, of course it's impossible to plan everything, but I think that if we set some boundaries we could work really well as a couple," Jade answers, then adds, "theoretically, obviously."
"What kind of boundaries would those be?"
"Things that we failed to deal with in the past. Like, I don't think we should work together at all. Maybe except for writing songs and producing them, because we liked doing that, but nothing other than that. I don't want to feel like a token that's being moved around on somebody else's game board. I honestly don't know if that could ever fit in with your career, but we just have two different lives, and there's nothing wrong with that. As long as what's ours stays ours, we only have each other to care about. It could be much less stressful."
"These are really good points," Perrie agrees, then encourages Jade to say more. "What else?"
"We could use some more planning. When it comes to everything, basically," Jade answers and they both laugh.
"Can't argue with that," Perrie says with a wide smile.
"Pez, I don't want you to change. Never. I like that you're mad, that you come up with all of these insane ideas and work to make them happen. Everyone else looks so boring compared to you it's unreal. All I'm asking is for you to be a little more patient. When you decide something's going to change right this moment, it affects a lot of people, and you just feel bad about it in the long term. So just take your time. I promise that I'll get on board with anything you want to do because I actually can't say no to you. A little patience, and we could work together really well. If we ever got back together."
"Yeah. If we did," Perrie repeats. "Goodnight, Jadey."
"Nanite," Jade answers, and silence takes over. Jade is surprised when she feels Perrie's arms being wrapped around her, and their bodies closer than they have been for a long time. By the time she starts to drift into sleep, they are cuddling, and she decides to not worry if she is crossing any lines by doing so. Perrie is the one who is in a relationship, and she is the one who should decide what her own, personal boundaries are. Jade will take what she gets, and not push any further. She missed Perrie like this, and the sense of peace she brings.
When Jade wakes up late at night from a bad dream, Perrie is nowhere to be seen.