-Herrick-
This is the last place I want to be. This is the last person I want to be around.
She looks as miserable as I feel.
I've been trying to find a way out of this situation but with our tribes, it's not always a good path. Elders are the ones who envisioned this. Prophecy and all. They have never given specifics as to what it exactly is, just that she is a big part of it. The arrangement was made long before she and I were even born. I am doing my best and putting on a show and looking at Aiyana who I can appreciate is not one to fake anything. Miserable is shown across her face.
This marriage has to happen in order for me to take my place. The future of my tribe is at stake.
My warriors sit on my side and we watch their dancers and drummers. Traditional tribal stuff is amazing no matter what tribe. But I feel like a fraud sitting here, not wanting to marry this person. The person who truly catches my eye, I can't be with and they know. It pains both to know that we can never be more.
I sit and watch Aiyana. It's her eyes that give her away. Boldly blue yet void of life. She looks at Tala with a blank stare as if she is trying to find or fight the emotions to go along with feelings. I decide to establish things now. Better to get it down in the open so that way expectations are on the table.
"Good evening,"
"Good evening," She responds.
"Do you hate this as much as I do?" I tell her. She turns her bright blue eyes to mine with confusion and panic.
"I... um..." she tries.
"I do not wish this either," I state.
"But this is a must,"
"It is," I start. But I will not try to make this awful for us. I am a stern man when it comes to my tribe. This tedious situation is something we can get through even though it is clear that neither of us wants it. I do not love you and I will never love you."
"Is that what you say to all the women?" She says trying to be funny.
"Yes," I cut back. I can not joke about this situation as much as I want to.
"Any reason? Is there another who catches your eye?" Aiyana asks.
At this moment I realize that she is alone in this as much as I am. We will need to be friends in order for this alliance to take place.
"Yes, just as there is one who catches yours. I've seen you look over at your top warrior. I'd like to think you love him, but I am thinking more like castrating him." I say.
She has a small smile before it falls. "He turned his back on me as a teen. As kids, we were best friends then one day he wasn't."
I can nod my head and I can actually understand where the big man is coming from versus her. The decisions we have to make weigh heavy on our souls. Having to cut someone out of your life to better the tribe is not an easy decision. Especially when you are the head of that tribe.
"Tribe first," I say.
She nods her head, "Tribe first.
"I hope that we can be friends. I am sorry we can not be more," I say.
"I would really like a friend," she says smiling sweetly.
"Outside of our home we will be a strong unified pair, but behind closed doors." I start.
"Is no one else's business," She finishes.
I nod my head and feel a wave of relief. She and I understand each other.
"Now that the elephant in the room has been addressed, we can finally enjoy ourselves, you know best we can," I say.
"I am sorry, Herrick," she says.
"For what?" I say confused.
"Just sorry that this has to happen," she responds.
"This is not your fault and this is not my fault. No ones really. This is just what our elders think best." I say. I put my arm around her giving her a half hug and kiss to the top of the head. She will not expect me to fall in love with her and I, in turn, will not feel bad that I can not love her as she deserves. I know that her heart belongs to another, even as stubborn as she is.
"Now, I've been told you haven't eaten much. I will leave you to eat more than a bite." I say.
She gives me a half-smile and continues to poke at her food. This could be easier if she was mean and rude but she isn't. She is far from that. There has to be a different way. Being the next Chief I was brought up to notice everything around you. I know Axe sees the tension and pain between Aiyana and Tala. You would be a fool not to see it.
-Tala-
I have never wanted to shoot someone more. Skin them to the bone alive and wear their skin as battle armor more than I do with this Herrick person.
Just the fact he was able to touch her, kiss her head.
I would like to take a hot branding iron to his face.
Fuck! That is extreme and uncalled for.
I am battling for control. I have always been calm and collected but that was because she was here where I could watch out for her.
I was able to hold off on worrying about someone else in her life, but now. The battle of the sane man versus the wild wolf is coming to ahead.
"I told her my parents wouldn't allow me to speak to her anymore," I say to my brothers.
"Now? Not before they came? What the hell is wrong with you?!" Kota says.
"Seriously," Kohana adds.
"What?" I am confused.
"You tell her that before she leaves?" Kota asks again.
"That is messed up," Kohana says.
"I have to escort her to the Tsuna Tribe tomorrow and stay until the wedding. This is much more torturous for me than her," I say.
They stare at me as if there is more that needs to be said.
"And?.." Kota tries.
"And what?" I ask.
He shakes his head at me. "For such a high standing person in this tribe, you are oblivious." Kota starts. "Has she had a friend since you?"
"No,"
"Because she clearly LOVES you and you both are equally dumb not to see how much you love each other sooner."
I whisper yell to my brother, "You think I haven't seen her? Or know what all this is?! Of course, I love her, but I can't have her! She was my best friend! I am being tortured every second of every day since having to stop talking to her! I did what my parents said, obeyed my elders! Tribe first!"
"Does she know all of that?" Kota tries.
"No, and I can't have her found out," I say.
"You are straight stupid," Kohana says.
"Tribe first!" I correct him.
"Yeah, tribe first," Kota says knowing he is defeated in this conversation. They sink back into their chairs not wanting to say anything else. Nothing to say, nothing more to do.
-Aiyana-
A part of me is relieved there is no pressure to be with Herrick as an actual wife. Then the ping of loneliness falls back into place. I don't know what will happen after the wedding but I am happy that I will not have to be forced into a relationship.
The other part is pulled into a knot that I can't breathe from. I look up and see Tala clearly fighting with his warrior brothers. His hands are all over the place. Just as soon as they stop talking he makes eye contact with me. I am still swallowing tears and hurt. He was told not to talk to me and was told about my future. He made me feel like I was the one who made a mistake. Neither of us was given a choice. It was told to us, it was instructed, and it was final.
In the midst of all the celebrations, chanting and drums I am feeling alone and lost more than ever.
As I stare at him, his gaze steadies me. His expression settles me. Yet he left me when I needed a friend the most.
It is becoming late and the celebration is coming to an end. Tomorrow afternoon I will leave. I have permission to leave the meeting hall and I run for the flower garden, one last time. Entering I walk around for a minute and take in the sight of all the different flowers. I wonder if Herrick would allow a private garden for me. Standing and contemplating the colors and what flowers would sustain at the ocean, I feel a pang of guilt in my heart. I don't want to leave. No matter how much anger I can hold I will miss my friend.
I am holding a flower in my hands, I see and feel a large hand covering mine. So gently, so embracing. When I look up into Tala's eyes the anger subsides.
"I am so very sorry," Tala says.
"There was nothing for you to do. Elders had spoken, parents had spoken. What's done is done," I say.
"I shouldn't have let that stop me, you were too important to me." He says.
"Not important enough," I say.
"I was just a kid," he defends himself.
"And when you became a man?" I ask.
"I honored my elders' wishes," he says.
I just nod my head, "I understand. It doesn't help that you left me when I needed you the most,"
"If I could change it all, I would," He says.
"Don't," I say.
"What? Don't what Aiyana?" He says. "I care for you, far more than I should,"
I can see him fighting internally with himself and then he breaks. "I love you Aiyana, for my entire life I have loved you!" he says.
I can't help but close my eyes and hope this whole conversation is a dream. This has to be a dream. I feel his hands around my face and then I feel it. His lips gently kissed mine, stealing my breath. When he pulls back I can no longer swallow the tears.
"Why would you do this now?" I say between sobs.
"Because you're leaving and you are taking my heart with you." He says."It only belongs to you,"
I want so much to say it, I feel it, but the words can't form. He must see my struggle for words, he gives me another kiss before I push him away. I cover my heart and my mouth with my hands and turn to walk away.
I am more lost than ever. Leaving him and knowing he didn't fight for me or stand up for me. Then here he is confessing everything. Like the last words before the public execution.
Now I will leave for a marriage of nothing. Goodbye will never be more tragic.