Chapter Thirty-Nine: What are We?
Josh's POV
(If there are any spelling errors please let me know!)
I fiddled with my ring at the breakfast table.
It's been a few days. After the kiss on the roof Callum got all weird and twitchy and, to be honest, I didn't really understand what got him all twisted.
Yeah we kissed but we'd kissed before. Maybe it was because this moment was more sentimental? I dunno.
But anyways.
Now I was sitting at the table, watching as Callum grabbed food and slipped some down to his dog.
I could tell Callum felt incredibly guilty for staying at our house, he had started doing little jobs that required him to work for a random amount of hours a day. Some day it would take him thirty minutes, like if he were hanging up an old ladies decorations, and some days he'd wake up at dawn and wouldn't be home til I was in bed asleep.
I presume he was saving up so that, as soon as he turned 18 he could get an apartment or something.
"So Callum." My dad said, Causing Callum's Head to shoot up from his food. "How's the sister?" He asked, and I knew he wanted to talk more about Callum's family but he didn't want to be insensitive.
"Oh she's great, I talked to her recently, she said she's under a roof and she's being well taken care of and eating and honestly-" Callum dropped his stressed façade, "I'm really grateful." He ran a hand through his hair, which he had thankfully not cut into a mullet yet.
My dad nodded and it went kind of awkward before he put down his fork and said, with utmost confidence, "Be honest with me Callum, are you and Josh dating?"
My water flew from my mouth and sprayed Sylvia causing her to shriek.
Callum blinked a few times, as if he was taking a few moments to process that information.
"D-dad!" I exclaimed, wiping at my mouth and handing Sylvia a napkin.
My dad raised his hands in defense, "I was just asking, because if you are then—"
Callum cut him off, "Josh and I aren't dating." He waved his hands dismissively.
My dad raised an 'I don't believe you' eyebrow and I felt my entire face rush with heat as I put my face down on the table.
"Callum, you're a good boy, I've known you since you were an infant, so don't lie to me—"
Callum laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, "Why do I feel so trapped right now?" He asked, and my mom broke out of the daze that she was in.
"Okay. Maybe you two aren't dating right now, but if you do we want to let you guys know that we support you."
I groaned in absolute embarrassment.
"We will just have to make rules, like, no bedroom door closed or locked while you two are together or—"
"This is it." I murmured in my arms, "This is how I die, of embarrassment."
Sylvia snickered and when I looked up to Callum I saw him awkwardly looking around the room at everything but my family.
My dad laughed, "I'm just teasing, Callum. But I'm glad you two have been closer recently." He smiled gently, "Because Josh is a pain in my ass—"
"Dad!"
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"Callum I swear to god if you change the channel I'll bite your head off." I heard my mom grumble and she shoveled popcorn into her mouth.
For the past four hours mom had been binging K-dramas. And at first it was just funny watching as she'd cry at every small sentimental moment... and then it wasn't funny anymore as she kept watching them.
Callum had finally had enough and grabbed the remote, now he was glaring at my mom in frustration. He placed down the remote.
"Come on Joshy. Let's go out and do something, we can be almost adults together and go do something fun." He shot my mom a glare and my moms lips tilted into a smile as she glanced at us before emerging herself back into the K-drama.
I felt my face automatically heat up as Callum grabbed my hand and pulled us out of the house.
It was silent for a few seconds while In the car.
I inhaled sharply, and the question shot out of me like bullets and I don't think I've ever hated myself more. "Callum, what are we?" I asked.
I swear if this were the cartoons the car would be scrunching you and screeching as he slammed on his breaks.
Except he didn't slam on his breaks his eyebrows just raised into his hairline.
"Uh, what do you mean?" He rubbed the back of his neck and I could practically see him become all tense.
I started to stutter, "W-well it's just, Y-you– I mean I- I mean, well." I took a shaky deep breath and cringed. God this was kinda pathetic. "It's just that, well, we've been closer I guess?" I said, my face practically scorching in embarrassment.
I kinda really expected Callum to shrug and say something along the lines of 'It was just in the moment kinda stuff' but instead he frowned deeply and said:
"I don't know Josh. I'm just kinda... conflicted I guess."
Callum's POV
Josh's question had definitely surprised me. But I didn't want to bullshit him when giving him an answer because, to be honest I didn't know.
I struggle to say it, and I struggle a lot to portray it, but I love Josh. I really really love him. A life without him would be like making a blanket that just barely covered your shoulders and your toes, uncomfortable.
I wanted to give him a straight answer, but (and you'll never catch me saying this except for now) I couldn't risk my answer being the wrong one. I was afraid.
I didn't mean to make the moment all deep and shit, it just kinda happened.
"How so?" Josh tilted his head like a puppy and I licked the front of my teeth.
I groaned, not really in the mood for a deep conversation, "It's just that we've been friends for 17 years, I don't want to—" I stopped talking feeling my throat tighten as I fought whether to say it or not. "I don't want to become something more only to get into a stupid fight and..." I paused and ran a hand through my hair (which I really am going to get a mullet), "I don't want to loose you Josh. Plus this happened so suddenly, I'm still questioning shit." I groaned and tilted my head back.
Josh glanced at his lap, but not in a sad way. "Even if you kill me and my puppy I wouldn't stop being your friend Callum." He said, scratching his cheek, "and I'm sorry." He muttered, now his eyes were glancing down in sadness.
I frowned, "Why?"
"Because I'm the reason why it happened so suddenly. I shouldn't have—"
I laughed, not in a cruel way, it wasn't even on purpose. "Joshy will you calm down? We already made up, you already apologized." I shot him a gentle look, "I just need more time."
He smiled gently and nodded his head, "you have as much time as you want Callum, as long as you don't die before." He joked and I rolled my eyes.
"Way to ruin a deep moment." I grumbled and he hit my arm.
"I was trying to lighten the mood."
I felt my lips tilting upwards, "All I'm saying is we had a very nice deep discussion and you ruined it."
His jaw dropped, "I could grab the steering wheel right now and end it all." He threatened and I chuckled.
"I thought you said not to die before?"
He rolled his eyes, "You're annoying."
"And you're blushing." I commented watching him facepalm.
"Pain in my ass." He grumbled.
"I take great pride." I looked over and sent him a wink and he huffed, turning away.
I stopped at a stop light and I stared at his side profile for awhile.
Cringey and cliche as it sounds... maybe I wouldn't mind being something more than best friends with Josh.
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I dislike this chapter very much 🙃
So I'm definitely going to make the next one better.
Also just a few more chapter 😭
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