Louis
My trembling fingers fall from my ears as my eyes flicker around the empty, dimly lit treehouse.
I'm pressed into the corner with my knees pulled to my chest, blood trickling down my open clammy palms from my nails digging into my flesh. My throat burns as if I've swallowed a million razor-blades and my mind is blank like a fresh white canvas.
It doesn't take long to realize that he's no longer here with me, though his coat is still tossed in the corner.
Everything went by in a flash. It was everything at once, but then nothing at all. One moment we were dancing, our lips tangled within one another but was all taken away as screams ripped through me.
I'm not stupid, I know why I lashed out. I'm fully aware of why my mind ripped me from that moment with Harry and took me back to 2 years ago with Nate. Painful memories flooded back, becoming too much too quickly and I just couldn't stop myself. They weren't his hands, but it felt like they were.
I'll have to explain to Harry what went through my mind, I'll have no choice. What the fuck can I say? "Yeah, I didn't wanna kiss you because you repulse me, so I screamed in your face." There's no lie I could contrive that he'd be gullible enough to believe or one that wouldn't hurt him. The truth will be forced to come out, and I simply don't want it to.
"Son of a bitch." I strike my open palm against the wooden floor, groaning loudly and squeezing my eyes shut.
I suddenly remember that it's late at night and he isn't here. I wonder if his mum came and picked him up.
No, he wouldn't do that. Harry wouldn't leave me in the state I was in, he'd stay no matter how many times I screamed. He'd wait until I tired myself out and once I did, he'd be here with open arms to pick up the pieces because he's Harry and that's what he does.
I stand from the floor and wipe the old saw-dust from the seat of my jeans. As I slip on my jacket and pick up his, gathering all of our belongings and making my way to the ladder, I think about how the conversation will go. He'd give me those goddamn puppy eyes and all it would do is anger me. I don't need fucking sympathy, not from him. Not from anyone.
As my foot balances on the first wooden rung, something resting against the rocks below catches my attention from the corner of my eye. "What the hell?" I say, squinting my eyes and focusing on the dark figure laid out on the rocks.
The air is pulled from my lungs and I nearly fall from the ladder, my eyes widening as my heart drops from my chest. I recognize those brown curls and those tape wrapped shoes anywhere.
"Oh shit, Harry!" I practically jump from the ladder, ignoring the pain shooting through my foot when I land. I rush over to him and pull him from the few rocks. His head droops lazily and his body lies limply in my arms. His eyes are shut, his lips parted, allowing slow shallow breaths to come through.
"Harry? Baby, wake up." I tap his cheek with my trembling fingers and shake his shoulders, but he doesn't respond in the slightest. My eyes avert to the blood staining the rock that his head rested upon, my hand hesitantly retreating from his cheek and moving his curls to see an open wound with blood slowly flowing out.
"Shit" I lay him back on the grass and take my jacket off, pressing it to his head because I don't fucking know why, you're just supposed to apply pressure or some shit.
"Alright alright, fuck" I get on my feet but quickly crouch down and hook my arm beneath his legs, using the other to support his upper body. I carry him bridal style throughout the small patch of trees, walking as quickly as I can manage.
I stop once every few steps to readjust my grip on the unconscious boy, his head lolling backward and his limp body nearly falling from my arms. "Come on, don't do this" I beg, though I know he can't hear me.
We make it to the car and I waste no time opening the door and resting him in the backseat, supporting his head with the blood-stained jacket.
I practically slam the keys into the ignition once I make it to the driver's side and stomp on the pedal as hard as I can as soon as the engine turns over.
My hand fishes in my pocket for my phone, dialing my mum's number as quickly as I can, my eyes hardly leaving the road.
"Hello?" She asks sleepily once the line connects.
"Mum, go pick up Anne and meet me at the hospital," I yell into the receiver as I swerve between the now busy lanes of traffic. It's nearly 11:00, why the fuck are people still driving around?
"Louis, what happened?" She sounds alert now, and I know that I officially have her attention.
"It's Harry," I say shakily.
"Oh my god, Louis what the hell happened?"
"I don't have time to explain, please just get to the hospital. I'll explain more once we get there" I say quickly, hanging up the phone and tossing it to the passenger seat. My eyes lift to the rear-view mirror and I see that he hasn't moved an inch.
"Hang in there baby, we're gonna make it" I assure him, though I know it's falling upon deaf ears.
---
I run through the parking lot, Harry bobbing in my arms and his head resting against my chest. The neon red of the hospital sign glows against his pale face and I realize how bad he looks. The blood is drained from his face and the cold harsh winter caused his lips to chap and his skin to become paler than usual, the only color being the faint purple of his eyelids.
I burst through the revolving door, looking around at all of the people sitting in the waiting room and awaiting service. Fuck that, he needs help now.
"Hello? Can anyone help me?" A few families look in my direction, but they only glance at me before resuming their previous conversations.
A few doctors and nurses are running around with stretchers and transporting patients to their rooms. I walk up to a tall male doctor with blonde hair who's holding a conversation with one of his nurses.
"I need help," I say weakly. He looks over to me, his eyes widening as he sees Harry barely able to stay in my arms and blood staining my shirt.
He motions a few of his colleagues over and they quickly come to his assistance. "What's his name?"
"Harry Styles. He's 16" I say lowly
"What happened?" He asks quickly, taking Harry from me and I have to prevent myself from screaming at him to be fucking careful.
"I- I don't know. He hit his head and he's bleeding a lot." I stammer out because I truly didn't think this far ahead. What did happened? They're probably going to think I did this.
"Did you find him like this?" He places his stethoscope to Harry's chest and listens for his heartbeat, and I sigh heavily when he seems to have found one.
"Yes," I respond. He nods quickly and motions a few nurses over to him, and they lay him on the stretcher.
"We need to check for bleeding on the brain, possible concussion," He says quickly, but he isn't even talking to me. Everyone's talking to each other, but not even acknowledging the person who's clearly worried and covered in his blood.
"Concussion? He has a concussion?" My throat feels dry and I try to get their attention, but they just won't give me the time of day.
"Please have a seat in the waiting room, we'll be back with updates shortly," He says without even glancing in my direction and begins pushing the stretcher down the bright hallway.
"Wait!" I call out.
They're all talking to one another about what could be wrong with him, and none of them hear me calling out for him. Everything seems to come crashing down, and it feels like I'm fucking invisible. I just need to know if he's alright.
I need to know why I found him unconscious laying on a bed of rocks. Did he slip out of the treehouse? Did he trip and hit his head? Did I do this to him? Fuck, what if I did this to him?
My breathing becomes unsteady and rapid and my chest gets tighter as each shaky breath escapes my lungs. My dirty hands wipe the sweat from my face and I rest my back against the wall, trying to steady myself.
"Sir? Do you need me to call someone? You don't look too good." A short nurse with grey hair stands in front of me, and I shake my head quickly.
"No..no I think I'm alright" She nods, gripping my shoulder and leading me by my hand, taking cautious steps with me. "Why don't you have a seat, the doctors won't be long" I nod, though I feel like I can hardly hear her. She leads me to a seat in the waiting room and I plop down, sighing heavily and wiping my palms on the knees of my jeans.
---
It's been over an hour. I've watched dozens of people filtering through these doors, and a million doctors and nurses walk by, but none of them know anything about Harry.
There was apparently a drunk driving accident, so I'm trying to understand that these people are slammed, but fuck I'm going insane.
"Louis!" I look up to see my mum coming through the revolving doors, Anne trailing quickly behind her and for some reason, Niall and Zayn are with them.
"Mum he's-" I try to speak, but she pulls me into a tight embrace and kisses my cheek repeatedly "Oh god, you're alright. I was so worried" She says shakily into my ear as a few of her tears get wiped onto my face.
"Is Harry okay?" Anne says worriedly behind us, causing my mum to quickly pull away and look into my eyes, searching for an answer I can't give her. Anne looks almost as pale as Harry did, her voice shaky and unsure.
"He's being seen by the doctors right now. They're taking a fucking eternity." They look at me as if they want me to continue, but I don't know what to say.
"Well, what even happened?" Anne asks, stepping in front of my mum.
"I...I don't know" I look down at my feet in shame.
"You don't know? Louis, what happened to my son?" Anne asks, running a hand through her hair and placing a hand on her hip.
"We were in my old treehouse and we were doing...stuff" Anne squeezes her eyes shut tightly but quickly shakes her head and urges me to continue. "Then I opened my eyes and I was on the floor and Harry was on the ground. He cracked his head open on some rocks"
"Oh god," Anne whimpers, covering her mouth with her hand and walking away. She paces around the small waiting room and keeps her hands pressed over her mouth. I feel so fucking horrible, and something in the back of my mind is telling me I did this to him.
"Treehouse? Louis, why would you take him to that old thing? I thought someone would've torn it down by now," My mum asks, stroking my cheek and interrupting my thoughts.
"I don't know, I just thought he'd like it there. Mum, what if I did this to him? He was reaching out to touch me and I was going ballistic. I don't know what the hell happened or how he got down there and I feel like I'm losing my mind."
She must've sensed I was on the verge of breaking as she shakes her head and pulls me in for another embrace. A few tears pool in my eyes and a small sob shakes through my body. He's lying in a fucking hospital bed and it could be all my fault.
"Louis, don't do that to yourself. He's going to be alright, you can't think like that." She cups my cheeks with her hands and wipes my tears with the pads of her thumbs. I close my eyes and regain my composure before nodding and giving her a half-smile.
"I'm going to go check on Anne, okay?" She kisses my cheek and goes to sit next to her friend, wrapping an arm around her as Anne begins to cry.
I sit down in the uncomfortable hospital chair and pinch the bridge of my nose. "You look like shit," Zayn says as he plops down next to me.
I let out a dry chuckle and push him playfully "Yeah, Fuck you too." I look up, my eyes watching Niall as he stands awkwardly in the doorway and fidgets with his fingers. He stares longingly at Zayn and it reminds me of Harry in a way, causing me to feel a pang deep in my chest.
"What are you guys even doing here?" I ask, leaning back in my seat and resting my head against the white wall.
"We went to your house earlier to hang out, but your mum said you weren't home and that we could wait for you to get back. Just about to head out when she told us you were in the hospital" Zayn says through a yawn and finally looks up to Niall.
"Come here," Zayn says quietly and extends his hand, Nialls eyes lighting up like a kid on Christmas. He walks slowly over to Zayn and takes ahold of his hand.
"He's gonna be alright mate, relax," Zayn says, pulling Niall into the chair on his left.
"I think I might've done something to him" I whisper, covering my face with my hands and resting my elbows on my knees.
"Ni, can you go get us some waters from the cafeteria?" I hear Zayn ask, Niall responding with a quiet "yes" and walking away.
"What's up with you, mate?" Zayn says, patting my back.
"We were about to hook up, I think. He...he grabbed my wrists...and he- he was holding them so fucking hard." I squeeze my eyes shut so tightly that it feels like the sockets may break as I croak out the words, bouncing my leg and biting onto my bottom lip.
"And?" Zayn asks, turning his body toward me.
"And I just couldn't Zayn. His hands didn't feel like his hands, they felt like Nate's. They usually feel so soft and touchable, but my fucked up head made me think they felt rough and painful. My mind took me somewhere else and it just didn't feel like Harry anymore, but I know that it was."
"I remember screaming, and the last thing I saw was his eyes and his small hands reaching out to touch me." I look over to see Zayn staring at the ground and nodding slowly, but I know that he was still listening. "He looked fucking terrified. He's never looked at me like that"
"Do you think it was because...you know..." He says with hesitation and licks his lips.
"I know it was because of that, and it's driving me fucking crazy that my mind even allowed me to think of that shit. I mean here I am about to have sex with the most beautiful most gentle boy I've ever known, and I'm fucking thinking about my ex." I chuckle at the insanity of it all, and I think I'm officially losing my mind.
"You know you have to tell him, right?"
"No, fuck no" I stand from my seat and begin to pace back, Zayn's eyes tracking my every movement.
"Well, what else can you do, Louis? What happens the next time he's ready to have sex, are you gonna kick his ass or something?" He tries to joke, but my eyes narrow on him and he clears his throat.
"Sorry. All I'm saying is you can't keep something like this from him. Maybe for a while, you could have, but you're in too deep now. You're falling in love with him, the truth is bound to come out." I gasp, choking on the air in my throat and look over at him with widened eyes.
"What did you just say?"
"The truth is bound to come out?" He asks, raising a brow.
"No dumbass, the other thing." I rush back over to my seat and sit down, bouncing my leg anxiously.
"Oh, the love thing? Well yeah bro... it's obvious. You love him, don't you?"
I open my mouth to answer, but the doctor comes from around the corner and walks straight toward me. We all stand from our seats and come rushing over to him, and I look at him with desperation washed over my expression.
"He's fine" A weight has been lifted from my chest and for the first time all night, I can breathe again.
"Oh thank god," Anne says, wiping her eyes and waiting for the doctor to continue.
"He has a minor concussion due to the impact, but he should be fine and back to normal within a week or so. We had to stitch his head up, but the stitches will dissolve over time and he'll be as good as new. We're keeping him overnight to monitor him and to make sure that there's no internal bleeding anywhere, and he'll have to take it easy for about a week, but he'll be good for discharge in the morning" He finishes with a smile.
"Thank you so much, Tim." My mum says, smiling brightly. I look over at her, confused, but I remember that she works here so she probably knows all of these people by name.
"Can I see him?" The doctor gives me a simple nod and motions for us to follow. Only me and Anne trail in his footsteps and I'm thankful. I don't want everyone to crowd him.
We follow the tall man through the corridors, the bright florescent lights practically blinding me. He stops abruptly in front of a wooden door and he turns on his heel, looking directly at me an Anne. "Go in when you're ready" We nod and he gives us a kind smile before walking away to go tend to his other patients.
Anne reaches out to touch the knob, but I grab her hand and stop her. "Wait," I say.
"Yes?"
"I just want to say that I'm sorry. I don't fully know what happened, but I know that it had something to do with me and I just want to say that I'm sorry, I guess." She lets my words sink in before giving me a quick kiss on the cheek and patting me on the shoulder.
"You've been there for my son when I wasn't able to. Of course, this isn't an ideal situation but he's okay, and that's what matters." I let out a shaky sigh and nod my head. Anne smiles before turning the metal knob and pushing the door open.
He lays beneath the white blanket, looking at the TV hung in the corner across the room. The sound of our footsteps makes him look over to us, and his eyes light up when they land on me.
"Hey honey, how are you feeling?" Anne rushes over to his bedside and grabs one of his hands in hers, Harry looking at her with softened eyes. "I'm okay, a little sore." My knees feel weak at the sound of his voice and damn if it wasn't the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. Soft and raspy but still filled with that familiar warmth.
"We were all so worried, Jay had come to the house and got me and I was so scared. How bad does it hurt, is it-"
"I'm okay mum, just a little accident" He assures her, giving her a smile that doesn't reach his dimples. She nods and kisses his forehead. "I'm going to go update, Jay. Let me know if you need anything, alright?" He gives a quick nod and she rubs his arm before turning on her heels and walking toward the door.
"Good luck," She says in my ear, patting my shoulder and leaving the room. The only sound in the room is the low voices coming from the TV and the beeping of his heart monitor. I look down at my feet, leaning against the wall, my jaw set in a line. I can feel his eyes on me, but how could I face him right now?
"Headaches are a pain, huh?" I lift my head to look at him, and he bites down on his lip to conceal one of his bright smiles once our eyes meet.
Unbelievable. He's laying in a goddamn hospital bed and he still finds a way to make stupid jokes. All plans I had to keep my composure and to distance myself fly out the window and I practically run to his bedside.
"I'm so fucking sorry, okay?" I sit in the chair next to his bed and take his small soft hand into mine. The hands that I just want to kiss forever and study every detail of them, but holding them will do for now.
"Hey hey, none of that, alright? Don't even apologize" He sits up in bed and crosses his legs, lacing our fingers with one another and reaching out to touch my cheek.
"Harry, did I push you out of the treehouse?" My voice shakes. Harry furrows his eyebrows and stares down at the knitted blanket. "I don't know w-what you're talking about." He tries to play dumb, but he's a horrible liar.
"I did, didn't I?" He continues to stare down at his lap, and I just know that I've hit the nail right on the head.
"I'm such a fuck-up. This would've never happened if I could just control myself" He looks up and stares into my eyes, shaking his head rapidly and giving me those puppy eyes. He crawls from his bed and straddles me in the chair. I look down at his lap on top of mine, but he grips my chin and lifts my head, forcing me to meet his gaze.
"You listen to me and you listen good. Don't you dare apologize" He says lowly, leaning in closer to my face and threading his fingers through my hair.
"I know you would never do something like that intentionally, and I know there's something you're holding back from me. Whatever is going on in that mind of yours, you can tell me. This changes nothing between us, okay? I'm just as crazy about you as I was before I smacked my head against a couple of rocks." He laughs, trying to keep the mood light, but it doesn't work.
"You wouldn't be here if it weren't for me," I say quietly, shaking my head slowly.
"You don't get it, do you? I'm not angry with you, love." He furrows his eyebrows and sweeps my fringe from my eyes. "Please don't ruin this. Don't pull away from me, baby. Not like this, not right now" He pleads, chewing on his bottom lip, and all of my thoughts and protests get lost in his jade eyes.
"But-"
"Please just kiss me" He begs, his voice breathy and desperate. He tugs at the hair on the back of my neck and flutters his eyes shut.
"Harry, I hurt you. I promised I wouldn't and I-"
He crashes his lips onto mine, and I wince as his teeth bite down on my bottom lip. His lips are chapped and dry but the kiss is laced with desperation and a feeling that I can't quite describe. He turns his head to deepen the passionate kiss and we move our lips in sync. I grip his hips tightly, needing to feel as close to him as possible.
"You're amazing," He whispers once he pulls away, resting his forehead against mine and allowing us to catch our breath.
We're interrupted by the door clicking open, Niall and Zayn appearing a few seconds later.
"Are you okay? Do you have a fever? How's your head, is it still bleeding? Where's the doctor?" Niall asks, rushing over to us and placing the back of his hand against Harry's forehead.
"I'm okay, Ni." Niall hums and begins to look around the depressing hospital room.
"What are you doing, leprechaun?" Zayn says drowsily, hugging Niall from behind as Niall continues his search.
"First off, don't call me that. Secondly, I'm looking for his chart. I want to see what medicine he's on and how many stitches he has. What if his brain is bleeding?" Niall says quickly and continues to look for the clipboard.
"My brain's bleeding?" Harry whispers, his eyes resembling a puppies and his hand cradling his head.
"Come on Ni, you're freaking him out. He's fine." Niall looks between us for a second before sighing deeply and nodding. "Okay fine, we'll be back in the morning"
"Feel better, H," Zayn says as Niall pulls him out of the room by his hand.
Harry rolls his eyes playfully and laughs to himself, and I just watch him in awe. He shifts in my lap and averts his gaze back to me.
"Promise me" He whispers after a long while of us just staring at one another, running the pad of his thumb over my bottom lip.
"Promise what?" I whisper, the air between us becoming thick.
"That this won't change. That you'll always come back for me." His lip quivers and he wraps his arms around my neck, leaning closer to my chest.
"I promise" Tears well in his eyes, but it's not the usual cry. These tears aren't caused by harsh words or sudden hits. They aren't caused by hurt feelings and loud yells. No, these are the tears that only flow when you're feeling so overwhelmed with emotion that your heart forces you to have some sort of release.
"I...I-" He stammers as I trace shapes into his thigh through his hospital gown.
"You what?" I say, looking up at him and staring into his emerald eyes.
"Let's just go to bed" And he doesn't have to tell me twice because I gladly stand from the chair, holding him in my arms and he erupts with those giggles that I'll never grow tired of hearing.
We lay down in the hospital bed and attempt to get comfortable. Well, As comfortable as two people can get in one of these shitty beds.
We lay in our classic position. His head resting against my chest and my arms securing him tightly. Soon enough, we fall asleep.
---
The morning sun shines through the cheap hospital curtains as I grab Harry's breakfast from the nurse. He's been in the shower for a while now, and I've taken this opportunity to straighten up the room and get ready for us to leave.
Niall and Zayn emerge from the doorway, Zayn holding a bag in one hand, and holding Niall in the other.
"What's that?" I ask, pointing to the bag as I take a sip of water.
"We went to go get some clothes for Harry" Niall speaks up, tossing the bag on the bed.
"Oh, thanks." I grab a piece of toast from the tray and bite into it, quickly spitting it back out because it tastes like sweet cardboard.
Zayn sits on the small couch in the corner of the room and puts his feet up. "So, did you tell him why you pushed his ass out of a damn tree?"
"No, not yet," I mumble, looking down at the clothes in front of me and not meeting his gaze.
"Oh for fucks sake," He rolls his eyes and tosses his hands in the air, making Niall laugh.
"Well, what the hell am I supposed to say, Zayn? It's harder than you think." I get he's trying to help, but he's doing a piss-poor job.
"Whatever, do it when you want to," He gripes. I mutter a quiet thank you before folding up the sheets from the night before. The shower turns off so I grab Harry's fresh clothes and walk over to the bathroom door, rapping my knuckles against it and waiting for him to answer.
"Come in," He says sweetly, knowing it's me.
I open the door, stepping into the steamy bathroom and looking over at the shower curtain that his head peeks out from behind. "Here's some fresh clothes," I say, laying them on the bathroom counter.
"Thanks, love." He smiles, his dimples appearing on his reddened cheeks as he pokes his lips out. I roll my eyes playfully and walk over to the shower, placing a soft kiss to his plump lips. "Get dressed, mop head"
"Shut up and get out" He scoffs through a smile and I do as I'm told.
Niall and Zayn are sat on the couch watching the television and I go back to the bed to resume my folding. Anne had stopped by earlier to tell Harry that she has to go to work, but she'll try and get off early. I want him to come home with me, but I know that Anne wants him home.
Harry comes from the bathroom a few minutes later, holding his gown close to him and dumping it into the hamper in the corner of the room.
"What are you doing?" He asks, walking over to me and getting on his tippy toes for yet another kiss.
"Just getting everything together," I answer with a smile.
"My little housewife" He coos.
He hands me the leftover blankets and I walk over to the hamper, dumping them in and closing the lid.
"Babe, isn't that your shirt?" Niall asks, pointing at Harry and cuddling closer to Zayn's side.
"Nah, gave it to Louis not too long ago" Zayn answers, looking up from his phone for a moment before resuming his scrolling.
"Must've given it to him after one of your little hookups, huh?"
Fuck.
The entire room goes silent and Zayn looks up from his phone, his eyes widening as he looks between me and Harry. "Niall..." Zayn growls lowly. I stare at Zayn, too afraid to even look in Harry's direction.
"What? What did I say?" Zayn looks at him, and if looks could kill, Niall would be dead.
"Oh shit...I thought he knew..." Niall says meekly.
"For fucks sake Niall, shut the hell up!" I yell and he covers his mouth with his hands, his cheeks turning a deep red.
I finally look over to Harry, and I don't know whether to reach out and hold him or to run and hide. His face is an angry red and his fists are clenched. His eyes stare into mine, his gaze cold and dangerous.
"Lou, what is he talking about?" He says so quietly and if a pen were to drop, you wouldn't be able to hear him.
"Nothing Haz, he's-"
"Louis if you lie to me right now so help me God," He says dangerously through clenched teeth, shaking his head slowly and pointing his finger at me.
I swallow thickly and look to Zayn for help, but he looks at me with widened eyes and shrugs his shoulders, appearing just as afraid as I am. Niall doesn't seem as afraid, but he sinks into the couch nonetheless.
The room is silent, the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. No one dares to speak, because what the fuck could we say? I didn't think he'd be angry about this, I never saw it as a big deal. It's always been no feelings attached and we both have people that we're interested in now, so our little hookups were over. But judging by the way his breathing is picking up and his hands begin to shake, I assumed wrong.
"Louis please tell me he's got it wrong. Tell me he's lying. Tell me I didn't hear that correctly," He pleads, but I stay silent.
"You might as well tell him, mate," Zayn sighs, pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger.
Here goes nothing.
---
Ahhhh he's alive!!!
I want to hear your inputs. What would you do if you were in Harry's situation?
I hope you enjoyed it. We're only 2k away from 10k and I'm so excited. I know 2k is quite a lot, but it goes by pretty quickly.
Please vote:)
I love you guys- A