"Kevin's throwing a party on the mountain?" Kyle questioned.
"Dude, killer!" Stan said, sipping from his milk carton.
"How'd he get you to let him do that? Doesn't he have to help pay rent?" Kyle laughed.
"Well, he said I can bring any of my friends." Kenny explained, making Stan choke on his milk a little.
"Woah, really? Kevin's never let us come to one of his parties. You, maybe, but not us." Kyle said.
"Yeah, but things have really changed since I put pet-store scorpions in his sleeping bag for saying he wasn't going help with the rent last week." Kenny smirked.
"Oh that makes sense." Kyle nodded.
"So... what kind of party is this going to be?" Stan asked.
"Dude, it's gonna be a legit party. I'm talking drugs, alcohol, girls. Maybe cocaine." Kenny said.
"Are you serious?!" Stan gawked.
"Yeah. But there is a catch." Kenny began.
"Wait. You're dumb asses are going to a real party?" Cartman butted in out of nowhere.
"Yeah, dude. It's gonna be me and Stan's first real one! But Stan, you gotta promise you won't let me get too fucked up." Kyle said.
"Only if you promise to help me get as fucked up as possible." Stan smiled, making Kyle playfully roll his eyes.
"Kahl, I'm surprised you're not being a total Jew about drinking real liquor." Cartman stared at him.
"Yeah, me too... but you know... lately I've been thinking a lot about taking more risks in life." Kyle smiled as his mind crossed the girl he was hardcore crushing on.
"That's the spirit, man." Kenny patted his back.
"Hell yeah, dude!" Stan smiled proudly at his friend. Cartman scoffed.
"Yeah! I mean, what could one night of shots do bad for me besides maybe a hangover the next morning?" Kyle said eagerly.
"Yeah right! You probably wouldn't drink more than a beer at a party like that!" Cartman claimed.
"Well... I know for sure I can't smoke, because if my mom finds out I went to a party she'll drug test me, and then murder me. But I think I can handle a few shots." Kyle told him.
"Oh yeah? Well when I go to that party I'm gonna do ten- no- twenty shots! And snort all the cocaine there!!" Cartman bragged.
"Who said you were going, fatass?" Stan glared at him.
"Me, fucktard!!" Cartman claimed.
"You can't just waltz in to Kenny's brother's party without Kenny's permission." Kyle said.
"Oh no, he can," Kenny said, making the three boys look at him, "If he brings a date."
"A date?!" Cartman's jaw dropped.
"A date?" Kyle and Stan looked confused.
"Yeah. It was one of Kevin's regulations. You know, since there's gonna be a whole lot of people fuckin'. I have to bring one, Stan has to bring one... Kyle has to bring one," He nudged Kyle, making his ears go red as he giggled towards the table, "And of course, Cartman would have to bring one."
"Where am I supposed to find a date at this hour of the day?!" Cartman screamed.
"You have four days till this weekend, tubby. Plenty of time to find some unlucky girl to take with you. And if you don't show up with one, Kevin won't let you touch the goodies." Kenny shrugged. Cartman growled in frustration.
"Fine! I can find a date! It'll be as easy as... finding a piece of hay in a hay stack!" He said, walking away.
"Make sure you tell everyone about it!" Kenny called.
"I will!!" Cartman screamed.
"A hay in a hay stack? More like a pice of hay in a needle stack." Kyle said.
"Yeah. All that rejection's sure gonna sting." Stan said.
"Well, boys, I know Lady is already super down for the party. And if she changes her mind last minute, I'll ask literally any other girl in school." Kenny shrugged.
"Hey, I should text Lily! I bet she'd want to go, especially if her friend is already going!" Stan exclaimed, pulling out his phone.
"Well, Kyle. I think I already know who you want to ask." Kenny nudged him again. Kyle blushed as his eyes immediately fell on Y/n, standing by the coffee shop across the room. He smiled to himself.
"I-I don't know... what if she's not into parties like that?" He said.
"Well, there's only one way to find out." Kenny said.
"Yeah, just tell her she doesn't have to drink or anything." Stan told him.
"And hey. If she's still too weird about wanting to go... just forget about the party, and take her on a real date instead." Kenny placed a hand on Kyle's shoulder, talking to him quietly. Kyle smiled at him and took a deep breath.
"Okay. I'm going." He said, standing up. His friends cheered him on as he made his way towards her.
As he got closer, she looked up at him and smiled. His heart started to thump against his chest, and his breath was shaking.
"Hey." He said, standing in front of her as her friends surrounded him with more smiles.
"Hey, Kyle!" She grinned. He looked at her cute outfit. She had a black, long sleeved shirt, and a black and white checkered skirt, with black boots that were so long, they reached her thighs. She had a sweet little white purse over one arm, and her drink in the other hand, and her gorgeous make up made his knees weak.
"How have things been with Trent?" He asked, which made her frown.
"It's... been okay.... well, not really... He came to my window last night and was trying to apologize... but he was still acting like a dick to me... and he wouldn't leave... so my Dad had to come in with a gun." She explained.
"What?!" Kyle stared.
"I-it wasn't a big deal! He wasn't going to actually shoot him, just scare him off! I didn't even want him to bring the gun, I just wanted him to tell him to leave..." She explained.
"That's... horrible, are you okay?" He asked, getting close to her as he held his hands close to his chest. She smiled at him.
"I'm fine. I just wish he would learn how to leave me alone..." She sighed.
"He seems to be doing fine today. Then again I don't even think he's at school." Wendy said.
"Ugh. Y/n, I hope you never take him back!" Bebe said.
"Yeah! He's crazy!" Nicole said.
"And clingy." Annie agreed.
"You mean obsessive!" Wendy told her.
"Well, I might be able to help you get away for a while. For a night. Maybe a weekend?" Kyle said, unsure of how long the trip was supposed to be.
"How?" Y/n looked at him.
"Well, Kenny's brother is having this camping trip. Actually, it's gonna be a big party. A drinking party. And Kenny invited me to go, but I have to bring a date with me." Kyle explained, making her face go red.
"Oh?" She smiled.
"I think that's because Kevin and his friends are going to be having sex, so he wanted Kenny to have everybody bring someone so- Wait- but!!- T-that doesn't mean we're going to- I mean- I don't want to have sex with you- I-I mean- I-I do but- wait- no, I mean, I-I just thought- FUCK!!" Kyle screamed in embarrassment as he fumbled over his words. He covered his face with his hat. Y/n smiled at him and started to laugh. Her friends smiled between them both and snickered.
"So... it's a drinking sex party?" She questioned.
"No!! Well, yes, but no! You don't have to do any of that- with me!- I mean- ugh... You don't even have to drink! None of you do- I..." he let out an exhausted sigh, "I-I would just love to have your company. To me it's a date, n-not a hook up. I don't think of you that way." He stared at the floor.
"I'd love to go." She said, making him look up in surprise.
"Wait... r-really?" He blinked.
"Yeah! You underestimate me, Kyle. You think I haven't gotten drunk before?" She smirked, making him smile like crazy.
"Well... I kinda haven't, so..." he said, making her giggle.
"It sounds like fun. And I already know Trent's gonna be trying to bug me all weekend, so I think it's a great idea." She nodded.
"Okay. Great! I'm so glad." He said, grabbing her free hand with excitement. He frowned slightly.
"Sorry for being weird." He sighed.
"You're not weird!" She laughed, "You're cute." She kissed him on the forehead, making his face melt into a red messy bliss.
"O-okay. Thanks... okay... See you later!" He let go of her hand and started walking backwards, "I-I'll talk to you later- heh... I love yo- I- I- I- I mean... I didn't mean to say that!!" He said, quickly turning around and speed walking away. He listened to the girls laugh at him from behind.
"Aww. How adorable!" Nicole cooed.
"We're allowed to go too, right?!" Bebe looked at Y/n.
"I'm sure if you talked to Kenny, and found a boy to take, he wouldn't mind." Y/n said.
"Ugh... a boy? I'm so tired of boys lately..." Wendy said.
"Heyyy! What about a girl?" Bebe grinned at her.
"What?!" Wendy laughed with slight distress in her face. Bebe grabbed her hand.
"I'll be your date, Wendy! Imagine what Stan would think?" She said, making a Wendy giggle.
"What do you think? Would Kenny count that?" Nicole asked towards Y/n. She shrugged with a playful smile. They all looked at Wendy again. Bebe wiggled her eyebrows at her.
"Sure. I'll go with it." Wendy said with a shrug.
"Yayyy!!!" Bebe cheered.
"So. How'd it go?" Kenny asked as Kyle quickly sat down.
"I humiliated myself." He sighed, still red in the face.
"But what did she say??" Stan asked.
"She... she said yes!" Kyle suddenly beamed.
"Yes!!" Stan and Kenny both said with a high five.
"How'd you humiliate yourself?" Kenny laughed. Kyle groaned.
"It doesn't matter." He said.
"Yes it does." Stan smiled.
"Okay, I just... said some weird stuff about the party probably being a sex party..." He said.
"True." Kenny nodded.
"And then... I accidentally told her I loved her." He mumbled. Stan and Kenny looked at each other before bursting into tears of laughter. Kyle scoffed.
"Don't laugh at me!" He exclaimed.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry..." Stan tried to calm himself down.
"Wait, but how is that a bad thing?" Kenny said.
"What do you mean how is that bad?! I told her I loved her!!" He said.
"But you do love her." Kenny said. Kyle stared at him and then looked down with a small smile.
"Well... jeez..." He laughed as he really thought about it.
"Don't worry dude, I'm sure she won't take it that seriously, anyway." Stan assured him.
"I hope she does." Kenny said.
"Well, whatever. At least she wants to go to the party." Kyle laughed to himself.
"Lily says she wants to go too! Looks like we're golden, boys." Stan said after checking his phone.
"I knew we would be." Kenny said as the bell rang for fifth period, signaling lunch was over.
"Hey uh, Red, you wanna go to a party with me this weekend? I need a date, and you seem like the perfect candidate." Cartman asked Red from behind as she talked to Clyde. She turned to look at him with her eyebrow raised, and when she saw his face she looked disgusted.
"What??" She asked.
"Do you wanna be my date for the party this weekend?" Cartman repeated himself with a smile.
"Ew!! No way, you oversized trash bag!" She yelled, promptly walking away with the flip of her bright red hair. Cartman looked pissed.
"There's a party this weekend?" Clyde asked.
"Ugh. Yeah. Kenny's stupid brother is throwing one. But you can't go without a date." Cartman said.
"Oh. Sweet, I'll bring my girlfriend then." Clyde smiled, before walking off. Cartman huffed. He had already been rejected five times, and now six, including Red. He didn't understand why it was so easy for everyone else. He saw Token, Craig, Tweek, and Nicole walking down the hall, and joined them.
"Hey guys, you hear about the party Kenny's throwing?" Cartman asked.
"Yeah dude. I'm fucking pumped." Token smiled.
"Tweeks obviously gonna be my date." Craig smiled at Tweek.
"Y-yeah! And- Aagh! Craig's gonna be my date!" Tweek smiled back, grabbing his hand.
"Oh, how adorable!" Cartman rolled his eyes with sarcasm, "I didn't realize they were letting homos into the party."
"Duh. They said you needed a date, it doesn't matter what gender they are." Nicole told him.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. So, Nicole, you wanna be my plus one for the party?" Cartman had the audacity to ask with a shit-eating smirk.
"What? No! I'm going with Token." She glared at him.
"Yeah, what the fuck, dude?" Token stared him down.
"What? I just thought I'd ask! But Token's black, so of course he's going." Cartman said. Token kicked him in the shin.
"OW!!" Cartman yelled.
"Have fun finding a real date to the dance you stupid mother fucker." Token spat before walking the group away from him. Cartman sighed. He angrily moped along the hall before standing next to Butters, who was organizing his locker.
"Wh-hey Eric!!" He smiled at him.
"Hey, Butters." Cartman said before sighing longingly.
"What's wrong?" Butters asked, looking concerned.
"Nothing... hey, you don't happen to have a date for Kenny's stupid party do you?" He asked him.
"Wh- Kenny's throwing a party?" Butters asked, closing his locker.
"Yeah," Cartman sighed, leaning against the locker beside his, "There's gonna be liquor, drugs, cocaine. But you can't go if you don't have a date."
"Wh... do you have a date?" Butters asked, pressing his two index fingers together.
"Uh, yeah I have a date, Butters! Why wouldn't I?" Cartman suddenly said defensively.
"Wh- gee, I don't know, Eric! Maybe because you're fat and nobody likes you?" Butters said nervously.
"Wha- SHUT UP BUTTERS!!" He yelled in his face.
"Wh- Sorry, Eric!! But, you know, I probably won't be able to go... Wh- no girl would ever date me... not even the ugly ones." Butters sighed. Eric looked at him for a long time.
"Well, that's too bad..." Cartman said.
"Yeah... So uh, who are you bringing as your date?" Butters asked, making Cartman pause.
"Well uh... a girl." He said.
"Which girl?" Butters smiled.
"A girl... you don't know. She goes to another school. And she's eighteen. And she's super hot." He said.
"Really?" Butters said, not really believing him, "What does she look like?"
"Well... you know... she has like... hair... and boobs. All that kind of stuff." He said.
"Huh... what's her name?" Butters asked.
"Megan... aphie...?" He said.
"Meganaphie?" Butters gave him an unsure look.
"Yeah. Meganaphie. It's an exotic name." He claimed.
"Okay. What's her last name?" He asked.
"Uhh..." Cartman looked around the hall, "Water fountain... erhh... locker...." He said.
"Meganaphie Waterfountainlocker?" Butters lowered his brows.
"Yep. That's her full name." Cartman crossed his arms.
"Right... where did you guys meet?"
"At the store. Yesterday." He said.
"Um... Eric... you know we only have one high school in town, right? How could she go to another school, and still meet you here in town?" Butters mentioned, making Cartman look angry.
"Fine! I don't have a date either! Are you happy, Butters!? You caught me!" Cartman yelled.
"Wh- it's okay, Eric! We don't have to go to the party. Maybe this weekend we can go to my house and play video ga-"
"Are you kidding, Butters?! I have to go to that party!! I told Kahl I was gonna out-party him!! Do you know how stupid I'd look if I don't even show up?!" He yelled.
"Wh- oh..." Butters frowned.
"There has to be some way to get in there... How come gay-wad Tweek and Craig can get in but I can't?! There has to be someone I can-" Cartman paused as he thought about Tweek and Craig again. Then he looked at Butters.
"Wh... what're you starin' at me for?" Butters asked, "Is there somethin' on my face?" He stared wiping his face with his hand.
"Butters... listen... I know I'm not gay... I know you totally are, but you have to look past your feelings for me for one second." He said.
"What?! Feelings for you? Wh- Eric, I don't-"
"Butters, this is strictly business, do you hear me? I'm only doing this so I can get into that party, okay?" He said.
"Wh- what the hell are you talking about?!" Butters questioned him.
"Butters... you have to be my date for the party!" He said.
"WHAT?!" Butters screamed, "Eric, I'm not GAY!!" a couple of kids walking down the hall stared at the two of them.
"Shhh- shh- Butters! I'm not gay, either! But we have to pretend to be gay to get into that party! It's our only chance!" Cartman whispered.
"Listen, Eric, I don't even know if I want to go to Kenny's party! If my parents found out I was pretending to be gay to get into a party, they'd ground me for sure!!"
"Butters," Cartman scoffed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "This isn't about you and your dumb parents, okay? This is about me proving a point to Kahl!! You only have to act gay for one night, your parents won't find out! You're just getting me into that party!"
"Dammit, Eric! I'm not gonna pretend to be gay with you!"
"Shut up, Butters. Look, I'll pick you up Saturday night. Tell your parents it's an all-boys camping trip. They won't suspect a thing!" Cartman said.
"Mmmm... Alright, fine... but if you try to kiss me, Wh- well I'm going home right away!" Butters said.
"God- Butters, I'm not gonna try to kiss you! Jesus Christ." He said, finally walking away from him to go to class.
School eventually ended, and Kyle walked out of Spanish. He had been texting Y/n all through eighth period, and smiled, looking at all of the discreet pictures of her cute face that she had sent him for the third time in a row. He looked up when he nearly ran into someone. His eyes popped open when he saw Katy standing in his way.
"Ahem..." She had her hands on her hips.
"Oh. Hey." He said, attempting to walk past her, but she got in his way again.
"So," She said, "Are you going to invite me to your friend's party?"
"Uh... No." He said, trying to walk past her again. She stepped right in front of him.
"Why??" She leant down, getting in his face.
"Because... you said you never wanted to talk to me again?" He stared at her with a confused expression. She scoffed.
"Yeah, until I found out two of my best friends were going to a party and I wasn't!" She said.
"How is that my problem?" He asked.
"Because your dumb friends are taking them!" She exclaimed. He rolled his eyes.
"So? I don't control who they want to bring as a date." He said, gently pushing her out of his way and finally walking past her. She followed him.
"Well, it makes sense that you'd ask me to go with you, since your friends asked my friends to go with them." She said.
"I don't want you to go with me." He said in her same annoying tone of voice, making her scoff again.
"Do I need to remind you that you asked me out at the pizza place?" She said.
"Um, actually, I didn't 'ask you out at the pizza place'," he said, doing air quotes, "I said you were pretty, which is true by the way, your welcome, but you're the one who gave me your number, and asked me to take you to a movie." He clarified.
"Ugh! Well- you said yes!" She exclaimed.
"Yeah. And I regret it, because, sorry not sorry, I don't like your personality." He said.
"Ugh! What don't you like about it?!" She questioned him.
"Oh, I don't know," He paused and turned towards her, "You're super preachy, all you do is talk shit about the girls you hang out with, you don't really have a good word to say about any of your 'friends' either, you get mad about stupid things, if you're not happy about something it's somehow my fault, or someone else's, and uh, oh yeah! You're a two faced bitch who can't make up her mind! Did I miss anything else, sweetie?" He smiled sarcastically. She just crossed her arms with a pouty face. He turned around and walked away again, and she continued to follow him.
"Well, I'm sorry you don't like who I am. But it's not fair that my friends get to go to your stupid party and I don't!" She whined.
"Look," Kyle sighed, stopping again, "I really wouldn't mind taking you to the party, but the truth is, I'm already bringing someone! Someone I have feelings for. And I'm sure you don't care, but I don't have any real feelings for you." He said. She really didn't have feelings for him either. But the sad look on her face made him realize it still stung.
"Don't worry about it. You really are a pretty girl. You can find another guy to take as a date, and then talk to Kenny about it, and I'm sure he'd let you come. Don't feel bad, okay?" He said. She nodded.
"Okay. Thanks, Kyle." She sighed.
"Of course." He smiled at her, and then left the school to catch the bus home.