Cole's POV
When I got home, the house was awfully quiet. Everyone is probably still asleep.
I walk into the kitchen and drink a glass of water. All I wanted to do was stay with Lily and cuddle her but it seems the universe isn't having it.
I go up to my room, lock the door behind me and lie on my bed looking up at the ceiling.
I freaked out when she asked me that question. To be honest I didn't know what was going on. I knew I was attracted to her but I just put it based on sexual attraction. I knew what I was capable of. I could hurt her and I didn't want that.
I didn't want her crying because of me. That's the last thing I want to do to her that's why its best for us to have a fling, nothing serious because I didn't do serious and I didn't want her getting her hopes high.
Every time I kissed her I didn't want to stop, I wanted to make love to her.
Can you make love to someone you claim to not have feelings for?
My subconscious asked. I don't fucking know what's wrong with me. I never cared about the feelings of my past flings or have ever felt something like this before.
So I don't know where this shit is coming from and I don't fucking like it.
I just hope whatever I proposed wouldn't end up biting both of us. Its just 8am so I decide to sleep for a while.
Having only one person in mind.
******
Knock knock
Knock knock
Who the fuck is knocking on the door. I turn around to check the time and it was past 12 in the afternoon. I slept for four fucking hours.
Getting up from bed, I walk towards the door and open it. The smirking face of Caleb and the poker face of James is the first thing I see and they push their way into the room.
"How can I help you boys? " I asked them. Caleb was sitting on my bed and James on the swivel chair at the corner of the room.
"You didn't come back last night." Caleb said wiggling his eyebrows.
"You had a good time yesterday right? " James asked grinning like a fool. The thing with this guys is that they have the dirtiest minds. They are probably thinking I had sex with Lily or something.
Any sane person would think you did.
My subconscious said and I ignored it. I brushed my hand into my hair.
"Its not what you think. " I said to them.
"And what do you think we think? " James says.
"That I probably slept with her or something. " I said and they both laughed.
"Well did you? " Caleb asks.
"No. " I said firmly. They both looked at each other before looking back at me.
"Look guys she's not like other girls I have ever been with. I can't just sleep with her just like that. "
"Isn't that what you do with the others? " Caleb asks.
"She's not like the others. " I snapped.
Caleb raised his hand in mock surrender and James was trying to stifle his laughs.
"Chill bro. I'm only messing with you." Caleb said. I don't know why I was furious but I didn't like the fact he was comparing Lily to the other girls who I have mingled with.
But seriously isn't she just like them. You sleep with her and its on to the next one.
My subconscious said mocking me. I just decide to ignore it all.
"So if you didn't have sex with her. Why didn't you come back home yesterday. " James asked.
Why did I stay with her? "Because she asked me too stay with her. " I lied. I didn't want to tell them what went down yesterday and today because that would only make them right.
If they didn't believe me, they didn't show it.
I leave them there and head into the bathroom. I take a bit longer in the bathroom to gather my thoughts. The guys were in my room and I didn't want to enter there butt naked because that will just be all kinds of weird.
Thank goodness I had spare clothes in here. I put on a grey shirt with black ripped jeans. I brushed my hand through my hair and left the bathroom.
Caleb was drinking a bottle of whiskey and James was smoking a blunt. This feels like the old days. Where we'd just be in my room, drinking and smoking but I didn't drink though neither did James only when we were at parties.
I sat at the other swivel chair close to James and picked up the pack of cigarettes on the table. Taking one out, I light it and start smoking.
"This feels like old times. " Caleb said like he read my mind.
I nodded my head in agreement and so did James. I had a lot of things on my mind and this was my way of relieving myself from it. Smoking it away. While I'm more into cigarettes, James prefers weed because it gives him the highness that drinking can't do to him. It like makes him feel on top of the world. That's what I think though.
This was also how we used to piss of my dad. Speaking of my dad, I decide to tell them what went down when he was here.
"Dad came over a few weeks back. " The expression on their face was enough for me to know that they might have an idea of what happened.
"I had an argument with him and mom and it didn't end well.
Not only that he fucking told me that when I turn 18 I'd start my training to become CEO and that I didn't need to go to college. "
"What the fuck! " Caleb exclaimed.
"Your old man didn't change one bit. " James said.
"What did you tell him though? " he added.
"I told him I wasn't going to do it and that I'd start the training whenever I feel like it. He wasn't pleased. "
"Knowing your dad he'd find a way to make you do it. " Caleb said.
I knew my father, he'd do anything for his company and reputation even if it means depriving his only child happiness.
"I know. " I said to them.
We stayed there smoking and drinking and I told them almost everything. I told them what went down between me and Nichole. They didn't like her either. I laughed when I remembered how they used to insult her but she never understood because she was too empty headed.
One thing I loved about my best friends is how they always had my back despite our falling out. I loved them both but I'll never admit it to their faces.
"I see the way you look at her Cole. You like her but you're to stubborn to accept it. " James said. He was very observant. He didn't talk much unless he needed too but he pays attention to the things he shouldn't.
"I don't know what to do with all this. Its all still new to me. " I said to them.
"I told her I only wanted us to hook up, no strings attached. "
"Is that what you really want with her?
Because if you're not interested I can just swoop in and take her for myself." Caleb said with seriousness. I glared daggers at him which caused him and James to laugh.
"Chill bro, I'm only messing with you." He said raising both his hands in mock surrender .
In a twisted way, Lily was special to me. I was attracted to her but I don't think its only sexually.
Caleb had passed out on my bed, more like slept off. While James had his headphones on and was bopping his head to the song and I was left with my thoughts.
I didn't know where all this would end because after summer I wouldn't see her again so I shouldn't let my heart decide for me.
When would you realize the truth your heart already knows.
I didn't understand what my subconscious meant by that but I just ignored it.
The only thing on my mind right now was Lily.
She filled my thoughts all the time and I wanted to see her, hold her and kiss her like it was my last.
I was falling deep into something I'm yet to find out but I don't mind one bit.