Song: You Will Be Found, Dear Evan Hansen
Song: Italics
Have you ever felt like nobody was there? Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of no where? Have you ever felt like you could disappear? Like you could fall, and no one would hear.
I've gone my day to day life acting like I'm fine. I go to work and I'm fine. I fight criminals and I'm fine. I spend time with my family and I'm fine. I always act like I'm fine, but I'm not.
There are times when I truly wonder if someone would actually care if I just disappeared.
Well let lonely feeling wash away, cause maybe there's a reason to believe you'll be ok. Cause when you don't feel strong enough to stand, you can reach, reach out your hand.
I know that if I told my friends what was really going on, they would understand, they would help me. Yet there was some part of me that didn't want to burden them. Some part of me that knows that my mental health issues are a burden.
And oh, someone will come running. And I know, they'll take you home.
I've been distancing myself from my friends and they haven't noticed. They haven't noticed that I stop truly smiling. Why haven't they noticed.
- time skip -
Even when the dark comes crashing through, when you need a friend to carry you, and when you're broken on the ground, you will be found.
Charlotte: Henry, you're late for work.
Henry: I know.
Charlotte: So are you coming?
Henry: Yeah. I'll just a little tired.
Charlotte: Ok, well be here soon.
With that I roll over and cover myself in my duvet cover.
I just couldn't find the energy to move. After a good 30 minutes, my door is slammed open and someone marches into my room. The curtains are pulled open causing me squint.
So let the sun come streaming in, cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again, lift your head and look around, you will be found.
"Henry, get up." Piper demands.
"Leave me alone."
You will be found.
"Get up, we're getting breakfast."
You will be found.
"Please leave me alone." I beg.
"No, get up. You're an hour late for work." Piper informed me.
You will be found.
"I'm not going."
"That's not what you told Charlotte."
"Please leave me alone Piper."
You will be found.
"Nope, now get up before I drag your sorry ass out of bed."
I groan before climbing out of bed and sigh. "If I get breakfast with you, will you leave me alone?"
"Sure." She nods. I haul myself out of bed. "Meet me down in the kitchen, we are going to Cora Breakfast and Lunch."
- time skip -
There's a place where we don't have to feel unknown!
We sat down at a small table. Neither of us spoke.
And every time that you call out, you're a little less alone.
"Henry, what's been going on with you?" Piper asked.
Just tell her. If I tell her, I won't be so alone.
If you only say the word, from across the silence, your voice is heard.
"I- I'm fine, I promise."
"No you're not," Piper states, "and I don't think you've been ok for a while, so tell me what's going on."
Even when the dark comes crashing through,
"Henry, I want to help you, but I can't do that until you tell me what's going on."
She's right. "I'm sad all the time, I never have energy to do anything but sleep, eat and go on missions. I don't even really have energy to do that but if I don't, Rai will know something's up."
when you need someone to carry you,
"I just always feel like I'm dragging everyone down with me, someone no one actually wants to be around."
"You feel like a burden? Henry, you're my big brother, your friends love you so much."
"Piper, if they 'love me so much'," I start, putting air quotes around her sentence, "why haven't they noticed?"
when you're broken on the ground,
"You think they haven't noticed?" She asked me.
"We have noticed, why do you think we've all been texting you, checking up on you?"
"I don't know..." I trail off.
"We care about you, we don't understand what you're going through but we can help you."
you will be found.
"We want to help you." She tells me, she takes my hand in hers. I feel tears come to my eyes.
So let the sun come streaming in,
"We can get you some help."
"I can get some help? What about Rai? What about my job?" I ask, tears dripping down off my chin.
"He will understand, this is Rai, he cares about you like you're his son, or little brother, or something." Piper reminds me, smiling.
cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again,
"You really mean that?" I ask tearily.
"Yeah, I really mean that."
if you only look around,
"Can I have a hug?" I ask quietly.
Piper opens up her arms and wraps me in a comforting embrace.
you will be found.
"Now, let's get some breakfast."
You will be found.
"This is nice Piper." I smile. "Thank you for 'dragging my sorry ass out of bed.'"
"I know Henry, I'm amazing." She grins cockily. "And so are you."
You will be found.
- time skip -
Out of the shadows, the morning is breaking, and all is new.
We step out of the lift to see our friends.
"Henry, are you ok?" Rai asked.
All is new.
"No, I'm not." I admit.
I could see my friends face fall.
"I knew it." Charlotte whispers.
All is new.
"And I haven't felt ok in a long time." I say, briefly looking down at my shoes.
It's filling up the empty and suddenly I see, that all is new, all is new.
"Henry why couldn't you have just been honest with us? We would have helped, we will still help of course, but you could have told us long ago and we would have helped you long ago." Jasper tells me.
You are not alone.
"Henry, you're not alone in this. We are here for you." Charlotte reminds me.
"You are our best friend, we are here for you." Rai says, smiling a little. "You can take as much time off work as you need."
You are not alone.
"Thank you Rai, but what will you do while I'm gone?"
"I'll be fine, and if worse comes to worse, Charlotte, Jasper or Piper could fill in."
You are not alone
"Are you sure? I can still work, I've been doing fine."
"No you haven't, your energy isn't in it anymore. You've been tired and slow, you need to take some time to get better." Schwoz stated. "I've been monitoring your health lately, and you have depleted energy and you're exhausted. You need to take some time to get your health back in order."
You are not alone.
"Thank you Schwoz, exactly." Rai agreed. "And don't think I haven't noticed that you let yourself get punched a few times during missions."
You are not alone.
"You noticed that." I murmur. "Thank you."
You are not alone.
"We just want our old Henry back." Charlotte added.
"We've missed you." Jasper smiled.
You are not, you are not alone.
- time skip -
Even when the dark comes crashin' through,
I sat in my room, wringing my hands, crying.
I'd been at Swellview Mental Hospital for a week now and I honestly nothing has changed.
When you need someone to carry you
My friends and my family have visited me, but nothing has changed. The staff drag me to activities like arts and crafts and movies, but it doesn't help.
Nothing helps. I know the activities are supposed to help, there are people in my group that are doing so much better, but I haven't done any better. The doctors and nurses have told me it takes time.
When you're broken on the ground
I've never felt as terrible before as I have not.
You will be found!
- time skip -
I've been here for a month now, and the doctors were right, it takes time. I'm on antidepressants. My friends have even told me how much better I seem.
So when the sun comes streaming in cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again.
I can be better. I can get better. I will be on antidepressants for a long time, but it will be worth it.
If you only look around,
And don't think I don't still have bad days. I've only been at this for a month.
You will be found.
But I know that I'm on my way to something better, to a better life.
Even when the dark comes crashing through,
I never want to feel the way I felt before, ever again.
You will be found.
My friends have been so amazing. They are always visiting me, making sure I'm not alone.
When you need someone to carry you,
I just need to trust in my friends and myself, and I will get better.
You will be found.
And arts and crafts isn't as bad as I thought. Plus, if you mix the orange and cranberry juice, it tastes amazing. I call it Hospital Cocktail, copyright of course.
You will be found.
"And that's everything." I sigh.
"That's great Henry, you're doing a lot better since our last session." Dr. Berry congratulates.
"Thank you Dr. Berry."
"You know you can call me Finn, Henry."
"I know."
"If you continue like this, you should be discharged in a few weeks."
I smile.
You will be found.
Hi guys, I hope you liked it! I 100% suggest you listen to You Will Be Found from the Broadway show Dear Evan Hansen.