Author: alishamjackson-stark
Reviewer: _DNA_732
Chapters reviewed: 5
1. FIRST IMPRESSION:
You have certainly thought of an innovative idea for a book. Writing a book in the form of an email correspondence between Bucky and Alisha was the last thing I was expecting. And that in itself was what got me hooked.
1 . YOUR COVER:
As much as I tried, it was difficult to find fault with your cover. The cover had the right aesthetic, it wasn't too much and you managed to make the title stand out. Kudos to that!
2. YOUR BLURB:
Your blurb seems a bit too short. It might not matter much, but you will be able to lure more readers in if they get a slight insight into what the story could be about.
3. YOUR WRITING STYLE:
As said before, I wasn't expecting the book to be what it is. Both of you have done a great job at developing a chemistry between the two characters. Especially the emails from Bucky's POV. The liveliness in your writing makes it seem like the both of them are having a real face-to-face conversation, rather than a virtual one, which I loved and was what made me want to read ahead.
4. GRAMMATICAL ERRORS/TYPOS: I couldn't really find much grammatical errors since it was an active conversation rather than a conversation in reported speech. However, some places could have used commas here and there.
In some sentences, shortened versions of words were used instead of the actual ones, like 'ur', 'tho', etc. Also, there were some typos here and there, but I guess this was intentional.
5. PLOT DEVELOPMENT:
Due to the fact that the emails are quite short, which it should be, I'd say the plot is going at a pretty slow pace, but that's okay. It means that you have a lot of time to develop your characters, which you're doing pretty well, so keep it up!
6. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT:
Both of you have done a great job at developing your characters. You've managed to show a side of Bucky that is lighthearted and flirty, and you've also retained his original, subdued personality.
Alisha's character development was also good, and I took a liking to her pretty early in the book. This is great, because it would mean that her character wouldn't be overshadowed by Bucky, whom we already know.
FINAL IMPRESSION:
To conclude, I think your book has the potential to become a great piece of fanfiction. Not to mention that it's a Bucky Barnes fanfic, which will interest readers even more. Great job!
If you've got any suggestions to improve my reviews, PM me!