At exactly twelve at noon, a knock came on the door of my apartment. It surprised me, jolting me awake from the peace and solidarity of my room, taking away my concentration from my writing. I wasn't expecting any guests, as I didn't invite anyone here often.
I was even more surprised when I opened the door. Jin stood before me, holding a large plastic bag filled with... is that food?
My heart picked up its pace without my consent, pounding against my chest. "What are you doing here?" And why am I so nervous?
He gave me a small smile, lifting the bag in his hand. "I thought I'd pay you a visit, since you're free and have nothing better to do."
Well, isn't that just sweet.
I could feel a smile creeping into my lips, but I suppressed it. Didn't want Jin to think I'm a creep. "I have something to do. I'm writing."
He shook his head. "No, you don't. It's your day off. Now let me in."
I rolled my eyes, but stepped aside to let him in, trying my hardest to keep a straight face. He laid the plastic bag on the kitchen table, calm and very much at home, as if he came here before. My brain told me that he had come here, but my fuzzy memory didn't allow me to remember anything.
"What's that?" I asked, walking over to Jin's side, stretching my hand to help him to whatever he's doing.
"Food," he answered simply. I held the bag open for him as he took out the contents of the bag. Kimchi, eggs, tofu, oil and some vegetables I can't name.
I'm not good at these things, okay? Don't judge.
"Why would you bring raw food?" I raised an eyebrow, looking at him in confusion.
"To cook? What else?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. Dumping your stuff here because you don't have a working refrigerator?"
"I don't think that would've been a problem, since you rarely use yours." He brushed some of the dust piling on the surface of my kitchen. "And it also seems like you never use the kitchen."
"I can order takeaways. Less time and effort."
He shook his head, sighing. "You're hopeless."
I rolled my eyes. "You're still here."
Jin gave me a pointed look, then turned back to the ingredients. He took them all out, folding the plastic bag neatly and putting it to the side. I sat on my bed, observing the man preparing his own food like it's his own home. The unfamiliarity of the locations of the kitchenware is the only indicator that he's foreign to the space.
I still can't understand how he managed to look so attractive while doing nothing. Well, he's doing something, but it's nothing that should enhance attractiveness. What's so handsome about a man searching for kitchen utensils? Nothing, except if that man is Kim Seokjin.
"Are you going to help me or are you going to sit there staring at me?"
"I choose the latter," I answered without a pause. But then I realized what I just said and regretted it.
He jerked his head to my direction, eyebrows raised. "Oh?"
"What?" I racked my brain for any logical excuse. "I'm not cooking."
A small smirk made its way to his plump lips. "You are. Get here."
I groaned, but did as he says. He asked me to help him cut the tofu into bite-sized squares, giving me detailed instructions on how to do it. "And be careful, don't cut yourself."
I rolled my eyes. "I've cooked before, genius. I know how to use a knife."
Jin nodded, not quite believing me. He took off his coat, revealing the oversized t-shirt he wore underneath. I noticed that everything looks oversized in him, because his broad shoulders don't match his thinner, smaller body. "I'm not going to baby you if you manage to cut yourself," he added.
I groaned, rolling my eyes at his remark. "What are we making anyway?"
He turned to me, eyebrows raised. "We? You mean me?"
I pursed my lips in annoyance. "Same thing."
"Kimchi stew. I heard you like kimchi."
"Oh yeah? Where?" I challenged. Not a lot of people know what I like. He must've asked one of the three, and I'm betting my money on Yongsun. She talks a lot, and I pity him for listening to all her chatters. But the effort of actually asking someone what I like, gotta appreciate that.
"The same person who gave me your address," he answers simply. "Min Yoongi."
I froze, eyes widening in shock. My mind involuntarily flashed to the events in the past, events I don't want to uncover. "Why would you ask Yoongi?"
"Because why not? You're close to him, right?" Jin took the tofu I cut and put them inside the pan, frying it.
"How do you know I'm close to him?"
He looked at me, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "Everyone knows you're close to him. Why do you seem so surprised? Did you two have a history or something?"
Yes.
I forced a laugh, eyes focused on cutting the mushroom into tiny pieces. "Why would we have a history?"
"Well, for one, you seem kind of shocked when I mentioned his name. And two, he knows a whole lot about you for a best friend." He turned away from me, focusing his attention on the tofu.
"We're friends since high school, Jin. Of course he knows a lot of things."
"I know. I'm just messing with you," he replied. Jin handed me onions, giving me instructions on how to cut them into tiny cubes.
We continued our cooking in silence. Jin took the onions I cut up and put it in the pot. He then asked me to leave the rest of the process to him, and pointed to the bed. "Wait there."
"I can cook too, you know," I argued.
"I know. But I won't risk you messing things up."
"But —"
He glared at me. "I said no. Sit there." He pointed to my bed again, turning back to the pot right after that. I crossed my arms and pouted my lip, looking at Jin one last time. When he didn't waver, I turned around and did as he said.
I watched Jin finish the dish we made. His moves were fluid and practiced, as if he belonged in the kitchen. I could see he's done this numerous times, as we adults live alone. The luxury of decent meals in restaurants is a form of appreciation of our achievements.
He called me over to take my bowl when he's done. The delicious scent filled my apartment. It's been a while since I tasted homemade food, and I know it's so much better than expensive restaurants, regardless of the taste.
But Jin didn't disappoint me with the taste of his cooking. His kimchi stew can pass off as a menu in any local restaurant, and I praised him for it. He didn't seem to fear the quality, as he gave me a confident smile as a form of thanks.
"So," I said between bites, "what's with the sudden appearance?"
He shrugged. "I told you I wanted to spend time with you, right?"
My eyes shot to him, wide and surprised. The pounding of my heart returned, and I could feel the heat creeping into my face.
"Why do you seem so surprised?" A smirk made its way to his face. The mocking smirk I hate. "You do remember that the last time we met I —"
"Yes, I remember." I rolled my eyes, turning away from him. "You don't need to remind me, Jin. I have a great memory."
His smirk grew. "You don't look like you do. Is your work getting in the way of your great memory?"
I scowled at him, trying hard to ignore the blush on my cheeks. I don't even know why I'm blushing.
He turned away, his smirk turning into a sad smile. "Of course it is," he mumbled.
I don't like the way he said that. It's like I'm missing something important, which I'm sure I am. And it made me feel that I did something wrong, even when I'm sure I didn't.
I sighed. "Look —"
He raised a hand to stop me. "No need. It's fine."
I pursed my lips, looking at the ground. I opened my mouth to give him another explanation, but his stern look made me flatter. I turned back to my stew.
We ate in silence. The only sound that could be heard was the clink of our eating utensils and the chewing of our mouths. It's so silent that I could hear the low hum of my air conditioner and the bustling of the city under us.
We were across from each other, me on my bed and Jin on my chair, right in front of my desk. My apartment was small, but enough for a single person to live. A lot of people say it's homey, including the three. I remember how we used to spend most of our free time here, and how Jaesung loves to visit randomly, much like Jin.
"Anything on your mind?" he asked.
I shook my head.
"Tired?"
I nodded, swallowing a spoonful of kimchi — delicious kimchi.
"Of?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. Everything?" I ran a hand through my hair. "Just... Everything that's happened and everything that will happen."
"Everything that's happened?"
"Yeah, everything in the past. Everything I don't want to remember..." I trailed off, staring at the floor. Jin laid down his empty bowl on my desk, the sound breaking me from my trance and realizing what I just said. "I mean, like college and stuff. They're hell."
"Why do you always avoid telling me anything?" He frowned. "It's like you're violating my privacy and I'm not allowed to even know you."
I scoffed, shaking my head. "I'm not violating your privacy, and you do know me."
He gave me a pointed look, disagreeing with what I just said. "You're the one who kept on barging into my life, without even thinking of the effects it had on me. And I don't know you that much. I don't know how you became... this." He stretched two hands to me, making his point. "Not that I don't appreciate the gesture but you're basically doing the opposite of what you've been trying to do all this time."
I rolled my eyes. I don't want anyone to know me if it means I have to tell him everything. Why can't he realize that?
"You want to know me? Go on a date. Then we talk."
"Fine. Let's go on a date."
"What?" I jerked my head to his direction, trying to find a hint of mockery and playfulness, but I found none. He's dead serious.
Of course I meant that as a joke. Never would have thought he'd take it seriously.
"I said, let's go on a date."
—❦—
so, a date. this is it, i guess.
i did say i'm going to have a random update somewhere, right? this is written in quite a hurry, and i didn't get to edit as much. do tell me if you find a mistake somewhere.
i find myself extending the plot as the story goes, and i'm not sure 30 chapters will be enough. let's hope it does, i hate to fix plotholes.
thank you so much for all the support! philophobia made it to 5k reads guys, i'm so happy. and i know it's kinda late, but a few days ago this story made it to #1 in moonbyul tag, and i thank you guys for all of it. couldn't exactly pay too many attention to it these past few days as i'm busy with a job... haha.
till next wednesday
-w.