Someone could've shouted in his ears and he wouldn't have budged an inch.
He was too busy cursing at the world for trying to make something sickly entertaining out of something extremely serious.
Ever since he was a kid, his family had been the center of attention when it came to the media and gossip.
But he was always affected the less by it. He was never the true target.
That all changed the second he got appointed as CEO. Now he was the center of every gossip, of every rumor, and lie.
It had reached a point where he had gotten so used to it. His PR and Wanda taking care of everything for him that was necessary to help him focus on real important things instead of the lies of the media.
But this one, this had to be the worst one yet.
He ran a hand through his hair as he read the article on his phone.
He hadn't even searched for it. It had come up as a notification on his news app on its own.
He held his head in his hands as his elbows rested on his knees.
You sat next to him, running your hand comfortably up and down his arm, telling him to stop looking at it.
JAMES BARNES SPOTTED IN HOSPITAL PARKING LOT SUPPOSEDLY FOR FURTHER DRUG TESTING AFTER RECENT OVERDOSE RUMORS
Below it, there was a picture of him with his back against the brick wall outside of the hospital, looking tired; hair disarray.
"These people have no better shit to do." He grumbled as he handed you his phone.
"I'll take care of it, Bucky." Wanda says, pulling out her own phone, making preparatives to speak to the media and claim that the rumors are false.
"She'll talk to them. You and Ashlyn shouldn't have to deal with this right now." Nat agreed.
Bucky ran his hands down his face, his eyes still bloodshot.
It was seven in the morning. Bucky had spent the night by Ashlyn's side in her room, giving her a helping hand as much as he could in their situation.
They were preparing her for the dreaded procedure the doctors would perform on her today.
"She hardly slept," Bucky sighed, rubbing under his eye, "She's terrified. She's shocked. We're both so tired." He grumbled under his breath.
You caressed the back of his hair where it met his neck.
"I'm so sorry." You say.
Bucky nodded slowly, pinching the bridge of his nose.
He had been all cried out. He knew he would mourn his loss for a very long time, but all the tears he had offered had been spent over the last six or so hours. He knew that all he could do now was try to be there for Ashlyn in the most appropriate way he could be.
He had to make sure she was mentally doing okay, but that was it.
Nat shared a look with Wanda.
"Bucky, I know this isn't the best time for this, but there are some things we wanted to run by you." Nat announced, moving closer to you and him from her own seat that was next to Bucky's, "It's about your prenup and will with Ash. Me and Wanda might be able to help you with it."
Bucky sighed as he played with his fingers - picking at them. A few long seconds pass.
"As much I would love to hear it, I'm just not in the best mindset right now. I want to focus one thing at a time, I-" he took a deep breath, "I just lost my baby girl, I can't think about anything else right now."
"I'm sorry, it was tactless." Nat responded quickly, "We'll discuss it some other time."
"Thanks for being here," Bucky looked over at Nat and Wanda, "Really."
Both girls gave him a sympathetic smile. A few minutes after much needed comfortable silence, Bucky announced that he was going to head back to Ashlyn's room for a bit.
When he was gone and out of earshot, Nat looked over at you.
You sat, exhausted, on the too-hard hospital chair. It was a chair that had spent many years holding the weight of lucky and unlucky ones, awaiting news. It was uncomfortable.
Your legs were tucked underneath you, your head laying on the wall next to you.
"How are you doing?" Natasha asked.
You shrugged.
You wanted to come off like you were okay, but secretly inside, you were broken and tired.
"She'll be okay." She assured you.
You shook your head, looking down at your hands.
"It's not even just that anymore either. It's him. I hope he'll be okay, too." You confessed.
You moved to pick at the little coffee table that was next to your chair.
You traced the wood with you finger.
If you were quiet enough, you could hear the distant sound of more heart monitors.
You didn't like it very much.
"I still don't know what I'm going to say to her."
"Just be honest." Wanda answered.
She was right. But you were scared of being honest with your sister. The truth wasn't necessarily the prettiest in this situation.
"Yeah." You say.
"Look, I'm gonna go home. I still need to go to work today, but I promise I'll be back later this afternoon to say hi and check up on you guys." Nat announced as she stood up.
"Yeah, I think I'm gonna go, too." Wanda agreed as she also stood up from her own seat.
You smiled softly, "Thanks for being here."
"Of course, sweetie." Nat says.
Nat is about to walk away when you grab her hand. She turns to look at you a bit confused.
"Thanks for your change of heart. I knew you weren't always supportive of me and him, but it means the world to me that you are trying to help out." You say.
"A lot has changed the last few years. Especially Ashlyn. I wouldn't want to stand in the way of true love. You and Bucky? You're it." Nat responds.
You appreciate her words, but you're still left thinking if all this hurt was worth it.
You must have passed out not too long after they left. You checked your watch again and it was close to eight thirty.
Your eyes drift to the television in the upper right corner of the room and you grab the remote off the little table. You decided to watch a little something to pass time.
You were going to give Bucky and Ashlyn the privacy they needed during this hard time. It wasn't your place to involve yourself. Not yet, at least.
___
The air between them used to be tense and toxic, but it had seemed that over time, things calmed down.
Bucky sat on the chair next to the bed playing with the bedsheets as Ashlyn looked out the window into the bright sun that reflected off the tall building across the street.
"What's going to happen when we go home?" Ashlyn asked turning around, her eyes not leaving Bucky's face. He watched quietly as her eyes darted towards the door, "Are you two going to be together?"
Her tone was soft, worrisome.
Bucky looked at her for a moment before answering.
"We're taking this one step at a time. We need to figure out our situation first."
"Our situation? You cheated on me. With my sister. And by the looks of it, it seems like you've already made your choice."
"This isn't even just about a choice anymore, Ashlyn. If it were some other guy, sure he would just leave you right now and go with another woman-"
"Please, don't say that stuff. It hurts me."
"I'm just saying, I'm trying to be careful with this." Ashlyn finally turned away, looking back towards the window.
Bucky reached out for her hand, "Regardless of the outcome of this, you are still that same girl I met with the little red Bonet," Bucky traced her ringless finger, "You're still the woman that carried my child. The child we both lost." His voice cracked towards the end, "I'm not just going to leave."
Ashlyn took a deep breath as she felt the tears prickling her eyes.
"You hurt me so bad, but I still can't stop - -"
"Can't stop what?"
"I can't stop wanting you."
"Ash..."
She turned her head again to face him.
"What if I changed?"
"W-what?"
She tightened her hold on his hand.
"If we tried again. If you gave me another chance and I gave you another chance, for us to be better."
Bucky sighed.
"We don't work. We can't continue this. I'm so deeply sorry for what I did to you."
Her grip tightened and Bucky flinched at her hold. He could feel the bones of her knuckles digging into his own. Her eyes were like daggers as she remained eye contact with him.
For the first time ever, he was scared of her.
"I need you. I can't let you go."
Bucky gaped at her as he tried to pull away.
"Ashlyn, please let me go."
Aside from frustration over this situation, because he had thought the hard part was over, Bucky was extremely confused.
Ashlyn had told him yesterday to pull off their wedding rings, yet here she was telling him that she needed him in her life?
"It's okay. I forgive you."
Her little taunting words sent a cold shiver down his spine as he eyes her wicked smirk and twinkling eyes.
Now he was scared for a different reason. He was scared for her mental health.
He's always been worried about her.
As he looked into her displaced eyes, he knew something was very wrong.
___
You settled on some black and white movie. The volume was down so you couldn't hear what they were saying.
It was fine that way.
You weren't really watching it anyway, no matter how much you tried. Your thoughts were too distracted.
A soft knock startles you and your turn your head.
To say you were shocked by who you saw standing there was an understatement.
The darker one gave you a mischievous smile, the little gap between his front teeth lighting up the room.
His greeting was just as friendly.
"Why, hello there." Sam smirked.
Steve walked out from behind Sam.
"Hey, Y/N." He greeted you softly.
You gulped, not sure exactly how to act with either men.
One of them, you had just broken up with earlier that week, and the other you hadn't seen in five years.
Because you had disappeared - for a very wrong and very evident (now) reason.
You felt slightly embarrassed.
You pulled your legs out from underneath you and they wobbled as you stood on them.
"Hey." You said quietly.
Sam was walking up to you but your eyes remained connected with Steves'.
"Come on, I know Rogers here is pretty and all but come give Sammy a hug." Sam said, walking in front of Steve to block you of your view of him, even standing on his tip toes for added affect.
You felt a smile perk at the end of your lips as your eyes met Sam's brown ones.
He smiled back and he wrapped his arms around you in a tight hug, which you returned equally as tight.
"You're just as annoying as I remember." You say playfully.
Sam hummed.
"How've you been, little nugget?"
"Oh, you know," Your eyes meet Steves' over his shoulder, "life."
When Sam pulls back the three of your stand there a little awkwardly, mostly due to the created tension between you and Steve.
"Where's Bucky?" Sam asks.
"He's with Ashlyn. You can go head and see them. Do you need it."
Sam lifted the paper in his hand, "Nah, the front desk already gave it to us," Sam looked over at Steve and then back to you, "I'm gonna go say hi to them. I'm sure you two have some catching up to do."
That left you and the blond behind.
"Steve." You started, looking down at your feet.
"Hey."
You felt awkward as he stared at you so intently.
The next thing he says surprises you slightly. Or maybe it was his tone that surprised you.
"Can we talk for a bit?"
You nodded, following him towards the chairs.
"I found out about the baby. I'm sorry. I think that sometimes we get so selfish, thinking about our own needs, that we need to stop and think about the things that really matters."
You scoffed, looking down at your hands.
"Tell me about it."
Another pause.
"What you did, It did break my heart. I misunderstood, I thought you - " he continued.
You raise your hand slightly and he stops.
"Steve. Let me talk. I never wanted anything bad for you. You mean so much to me, but Bucky is different. It's different. It's still hard for me to talk about it, especially to you because we have history. But I should've made it clear from the beginning what was going on inside my head, hell, I think all of us should have. I'm so sorry I hurt you."
"It's okay. I know he loves you. I didn't realize I had been coming off so strongly. I wasn't trying to force you. Did I come on too strong?"
You sighed.
"A little bit. But it wasn't your fault. You told me to tell you if I wanted nothing to do with you romantically, and I never did."
Steve took a deep breath. He looked away from you and towards the ground.
"When Bucky said what he said about me forcing my love onto you, it really had me thinking. It hurt my feelings. I'm so sorry it came off that way, I just thought you loved me too."
You took Steve's hands.
"If it were different, if it hadn't been for Bucky, maybe we would've stood a chance. But I love him. So much."
"I know you do. And he loves you, too," Steve chuckled as he looked around, "I mean, look at what he's done for you. I was expecting him to come clean soon enough, but to do it all in one day? Just to finally be with you?"
Your heart fell at his words. You felt the knot in your throat, the heavy weight in your chest.
"We told her. It's why we're here. It's why his baby is dead. Because of me."
You sniffed quietly.
"Don't say that," Steve whispered, taking you into his arms for a small hug, "Stop doing this to yourself."
"It's true. I did this. All of this."
Steve holds you as you cry in his arms.
"I don't think you're the hero in their story. What happened between the two of you is excusable, and as your friend I can't lie to you about that," he leans down and kisses your forehead, "but I don't think you're the villain, either. You're human. You all are."
___
Bucky had been happy to see Sam pay them a visit. For a moment in life's time he had felt like he had almost lost a good friend. And then when he saw Steve, Bucky was even happier.
For a second, it felt like everything was almost coming together again.
He had his boys, and this time the truth was out in the open.
He had only been away from you for about four hours and he already wanted you in his arms again.
You had left not too long ago, tired.
You weren't ready to talk to Ashlyn just yet.
Your stomach churned at the thought.
He knew he would have to deal with what was going on in Ashlyn's head later, but right now since he had a clean conscience, all he wanted was you.
And it wasn't like Ashlyn didn't know.
He didn't understand how she couldn't see that their marriage was over and that there was nothing left to savage.
To him, figuratively speaking, they might as well already be divorced. The only reason they weren't officially was because he didn't want her getting all of the money and power.
Before it had been because he thought it was heartless and fucked up for her to choose money over him come the situation of a divorce, but now it was more because he was worried that she wasn't mentally fit for it.
He knew he would have to speak to you about it later.
He needed to leave the hospital.
He needed you.
He was more than happy when the doctor finally gave them the go ahead and let Ashlyn sign the discharge forms.
Bucky and Ashlyn helped gather her belongings around the room.
They were silent around each other. Bucky still not knowing how to respond to Ashlyn's earlier statement.
He would deal with that mess later.
He looked up to see Ashlyn slipping on her Chanel Loafers that he had brought over for her.
She looked very tired and ready for a nap.
"Did you get your phone?" Bucky asked, pulling on his jacket and giving Ashlyn hers.
"Yeah."
"Alright, lets take you home."
An Uber ride, a shower, and two naps later, Ashlyn was putting some things away in the kitchen when she saw Bucky emerge from the hallway, duffle bag swung over his shoulder.
"Where are you going?" She breathed.
Bucky's eyes fell as he took in her state. Her hair was in a messy bun. Her face still a little sickly.
"You need rest."
"Where are you going, Bucky?" Her voice was small and pained.
He feels her hand on the hem of his shirt. He looks down at it and then back up into her gorgeous brown eyes.
Bucky sighed.
"Look, Ash. When I told you what I did, I did it so I could move on. I did it to let us go."
"But we can work this out."
"We've both been through so much the last few days. Especially you, your body. And it's something I'll never forgive myself for. I am sorry for putting you through with what I did."
"Then stay."
"I just need space from here for a bit. You do, too. Wanda and Nat are here for you, too. I need time to think, and I think we need space from each other. The doctor says physically, you should be okay," He eyed her up and down once more, his face stone cold and serious, "There's nothing worth saving anymore. We need to move on."
"So, what, you're going to divorce me? You're going to leave me for my sister?"
"I just told you. I'm going to take a few days off. I still respect you."
"You're going to continue to cheat one me?" she whispers.
"We're separated, Ash."
"I didn't agree to this."
Bucky pulled harder on his strap as he continued his way to his door.
This hurt. Like always.
"I'll see you in a few days."
"Bucky! Don- -"
He heard her one last time before he closed the door behind him. He took a deep breath.
He knew it was wrong, even if they were separated.
But he needed to step out of there for a few days. He needed time to breathe.
He was doing the right thing by going away for a few days, he convinced himself.
He needed time to breathe. To get his emotions in check.
He quickly blinks his tears away.
Bucky saw his Audi waiting for him down in his garage. The black car was gorgeous, sleek, and spotless.
He opened the trunk with a click and tossed his bag inside.
He opened the driver's seat and got in, letting out a long breath.
After a few seconds, he looked over at you.
You looked beautiful.
He smiled softly.
"You ready?" He asked.
You stretched your hand out to grab his right one. Your fingers interlocked and you leaned your head on the headrest, staring at him.
"I'm ready."