39| For the Sake of Matteo
"NIC," I breathed out, tears threatening my eyes. "I need Nic." I was talking to no one but myself because there was no one else in the small one-stall bathroom at Orbis. No one but me and a half-conscious Matteo.
Finding Matteo hadn't been as hard as I thought. I mean, I'd checked several spots that were typical for Matteo to hang out at, but Orbis was my third option. And when I arrived, his car was parked out front, so I knew he was inside.
It was a matter of where inside that I had to find out.
The club was packed because even though it was a Tuesday, it was Fall break for any college students, which meant that crowds flocked to Orbis for a good time. I was let in immediately by the bouncers I knew, asking them if they'd seen Matteo since they knew him just as well. They told me yes, he was inside somewhere, but they had no idea where. So I went in and immediately searched.
I rushed through the entire club while my heart thumped crazily in my chest. Every so often, I would check my phone to see an update from Nic: 30 minutes away. 20. Any sign of Matteo? Be there in 15. Where are you? Let me know so I can meet you there. He'll be okay.
He'll be okay.
I pushed my way through the crowds, my eyes scanning all over the club for Matteo. I wanted to give up when I didn't find him anywhere out in the open, but on a last second decision, I headed towards the bathrooms. There were only single-stall bathrooms in the club that locked and lit up red or green depending on availability. When I got to the hall of bathrooms, all were lit up green besides one.
I immediately started to pound on the door and call Matteo's name, but nothing happened, no answer came. I sprinted to the front to grab the bouncer I knew and he ran back to the bathrooms with me and helped open it up.
And that was when I found Matteo on the floor of the bathroom. He was choking and foaming at the mouth. My heart stopped completely and every booming sound of music and people chattering went away until the world was silent around me. I collapsed onto the ground and did all I knew how to, turning Matteo on his side so he stopped choking, and I shoved my fingers into his mouth to try and get him to throw up. The bouncer called for an ambulance.
"Nic," I breathed out as I held Matteo's head in my arms while he stayed mostly unconscious. He was breathing, no longer choking or foaming at his mouth from an apparent drug overdose. He was okay. "I need Nic."
He had to be okay.
The bouncer helped me carry Matteo through the club and put to the ambulance when they arrived. Immediately, they took Matteo to the hospital and I followed behind in my car, informing Nic where I was headed.
When I got to the hospital, Matteo had already been emitted into a room, which they led me to. Inside the room was Nic who sat off in the corner of the room and looked up at me, springing to his feet when I walked in. Nic pointed to the hallway and so I backed right back out, sneaking one glance at Matteo from where he lay. Nic and I went out into the hall and he closed the door mostly but left a sliver open.
Without thinking, Nic hugged me. I hugged him back. We didn't usually hug, we weren't much of the hugging-type or siblings. But it felt good and I almost wanted to cry just feeling the familiarity of my brother who cared about Matteo nearly as much as I did.
We pulled away and Nic sighed. "Drug overdose," he told me. I figured. "Doctors said it wasn't enough to kill him, but if you hadn't turned him on his side, then, well, it could have been a different story."
I shook my head and leaned back against the wall. The thought that Matteo could have choked on his own saliva to death if I hadn't found him shook me up. I didn't like to think about it.
Nic looked down at the ground, rocking back and forth on his heels. "They said he had a seizure on the way to the hospital, a side effect of the drugs he took."
"What did he take?" I asked. More so, I wanted to ask where he got it so I could kill the person who gave it to him.
"Percocet," Nic told me. "They said it would have been worse had he been addicted to Percocet's, thank god he only took them tonight. But the reason for the overdose came because he mixed the drugs with alcohol."
"He drank?" My heart plummeted to the bottom of my chest.
Last year's scare with Matteo had been enough to shake me up and persuade me to keep an eye on him. Ever since, I'd made sure alongside Maverick and Nic on the occasion, that Matteo had nothing to do with drugs or alcohol. Matteo was good about it all. Even when we went to Orbis with him and some of us drank, Matteo wasn't tempted. He knew the side effects. He knew what could happen.
I opened up my mouth to ask Nic more questions when we heard a groan come from Matteo's room. We both immediately turned and entered the room without another word. Matteo's eyes were shut tightly and he stifled out another groan. I wasn't sure if it was because he was in pain or because he was just groaning. But I sat down and pulled up my chair right next to his bed. Nic stayed back in the doorway, and I wondered why he wasn't coming closer. It was almost like he was afraid to get closer, but I knew my brother and that wasn't like him.
"Matteo?"
He groaned again. Matteo murmured something I couldn't understand.
"What?" I asked him, prompting him to say it again if it was important enough to try and say in the first place.
He murmured again, "Will," he said. My eyes darted over to Nic. "William. Need William."
I mouthed "Cunningham?" at Nic and he nodded, then held up his finger and slipped out of the room again. I watched Nic as he put his phone up to his ear, probably calling Will. I looked at Matteo, still half-conscious, and wondered why he was murmuring Will Cunningham's name or whether he knew he was doing it in the first place.
When Nic came back into the room, he kept his voice low as he spoke to me from the entryway of the room.
"I tried to call Will and he didn't pick up," he told me. "You need to call Ava."
I raised my eyebrows. "But—"
"For the sake of Matteo, T. Get Will here in any way you can. I mean it," Nic said, his eyes pleading. I knew he was right and whatever was going on with me and Ava right now didn't matter. It needed to be set aside. For the sake of Matteo and whatever reason he had for muttering the name of Ava's younger brother. The fact that Nic didn't seem confused at all made me realize that he probably knew this entire time that Matteo was using Will as his distraction, just as Nic had suggested to me a few times before. Now, I had no choice but to believe him.
I nodded and picked up my phone, dialing her number and keeping my voice quiet as I waited for her to pick up.
❥❥❥
"It's just that I totally thought they stopped making those as a whole," Will said, flipping through the movie selection on HBO as we attempted to find something else to watch. It was going to be our 5th movie of the night. "The Lunchables treatza pizza is just one of the best inventions ever created and I had to talk dad into buying at least 3 when I found them at the store today. You're lucky I always share!"
While Will raved about the Lunchables treatza, I tried to ignore the fact that my phone was going off silently beside me and the only reason I could see it was because the screen was so bright. And Theo's name was the one that displayed.
I felt the urge to answer it immediately and ignore it at the same time. My head said to ignore his ass while my heart pulled in the opposite direction.
Before I knew it, Will had reached across me and took my phone, pointing the screen at me. "Pick it up, for goodness sake."
"I don't know if I should."
"He's calling and you know that you want to answer. Don't be stubborn," Will said, but I didn't take the bait. With a dramatic eye roll, Will held my phone up to his own ear and answered on my behalf. I glared at him. "Hello?"
Will's smile quickly faded and he sat up straight, which made me confused and suddenly alert. I couldn't even hear the sound of Theo's voice from where I sat, which meant that he was speaking quietly for some reason unbeknownst to me.
"Fuck," Will muttered, raking a hand through his hair. Will looked over at me and I widened my eyes at him, but he just shook his head and held up his finger as if to tell me to give him a second. "We're coming. Of course we're coming, but it'll take–"
Will paused presumably because Theo was talking and now I was left to wonder where we were going exactly.
"Okay. Nic is there? Okay," Will said. "Then, I guess we'll be there in less than an hour."
Will hung up and handed me my phone back and I looked at him expectantly as he stood up and turned off the TV.
"What the hell?" I asked him. Will started walking away and peeked into the hallway, so I stood up and followed after him. He turned to look at me and I just gave him another look of pure confusion. "Where will we be in less than an hour and why was Theo calling so urgently?"
"We'll be in Syracuse–"
"It's a 4-hour drive, Will."
"It's a 40-minute helicopter ride," Will said and I raised my eyebrows. "And Matteo overdosed."
"Oh my fucking god, what?" I said as Will reached out for the door and opened it. "Will, the parents–"
"We'll text them, I don't know. This a fucking emergency, Ava. Matteo overdosed and he's in the hospital and he's asking for me and we need to go–"
"He's asking for you?" I questioned.
Will quickly opened the door and left the apartment, so I had no other choice but to follow as we made our way to the elevator. I shut the door and locked it as quietly as possible and we were finally in the elevator. Will had his hands stuffed in his pockets and was rocking back and forth on his heels. He looked nervous and when I caught a glimpse of his eyes, he looked like he was about to cry.
I chose to not question it right now: why Matteo was asking for Will. I was worried enough about Matteo's wellbeing that nothing else was as important. As the elevator descended, I pulled out my phone and immediately texted Theo.
AVA: on our way, this is ava now
THEO: the helicopter is landing nearby, there's a platform a mile from your place. nic sent for a car to pick you up out front
THEO: i'll see you soon
I smiled faintly at the screen and then the elevator doors opened. I could already spot the car that Nic had sent for us out front. I looked over at Will as we exited the elevator and noticed his hands out of his jacket pockets were shaking. So I reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing it.
"It'll be okay."
❥❥❥
It was just under 40 minutes when we arrived in Syracuse on the Montgomery's helicopter landing. The landing was a 10-minute drive to the hospital and I spent the entire drive trying to manage my own raging heartbeat while at the same time stealing glances in Will's direction. He looked worse off than I felt. He'd cried a little on the plane and we didn't speak the entire time. There were too many emotions to get out a coherent thought.
When we made it to the hospital, Will and I rushed inside and found Nic in the lobby. He was standing in the corner looking worse for wear but when he spotted us, he instantly perked up as if putting on an act. He nodded towards the hallway and walked us to the room, giving Will's shoulder a squeeze and shooting me an unconvincing smile.
Theo was sitting outside of the room when we got there and he stood up, immediately locking eyes with mine. Will's attention went straight to the room and when Nic nodded, Will pretty much ran into the room. I watched Will as he moved to sit on the chair beside Matteo's bed and I walked in myself, keeping a safe distance away but close enough to see Matteo's half-open eyes and tired gaze.
"William," I heard Matteo mutter, and Will took Matteo's hand in his gently. Matteo slowly nuzzled into Will's hand and it became pretty clear to me then what must have been going on. And as much as I wanted to, I didn't ask questions.
"AC," Matteo said faintly when he looked up at me, never moving away from Will's hand.
"I'll give you two some space," I told them and Will shot me a grateful yet pained smile.
I returned the gesture before backing out of the room and shutting the door behind me. I took a deep breath and faced Nic and Theo.
"Hey Juliet," Theo said, smiling weakly at me. I could see the pain on his face and the tiredness in the way he smiled. He had been the one to find Matteo at Orbis was what Will had told me after talking with Theo on the phone. And I still didn't know the exact details, but I could imagine what happened hadn't been pretty. Knowing it wasn't the first time Theo had seen Matteo in such bad shape mad my heart drop. It took only a second to instinctively reach out and wrap my arms around him. This had nothing to do with our own personal problems, our own somewhat fight that had ensued. This was about Matteo.
"Hey, Theo," I whispered with my arms around his neck. He was quick to reciprocate the gesture, clinging to the back of my shirt. It felt like forever until we finally let go and I put a safe distance between the two of us. I could have forgiven Theo right then and there. Or I could have just forgotten what had happened on Friday as a whole and given into him right now at this moment. Because I didn't want to let go of him, especially under these circumstances.
"I can give you two some time to talk if you want," Nic said. His hands were in his pockets and he was standing off to the side of Theo, giving an unconvincing smile. Something told me Nic was putting on another brave face, but he started to back away before I could tell him he could stay. "I'll be downstairs."
Nic slipped away and I wanted to go after him to make sure he was okay. I felt protective over Nic for some reason. Probably because I knew there weren't many people who truly cared or knew when he was bothered by something. But I let him be and instead sat down in the chair directly next to Theo.
We both stared through the window into Matteo's room. Will was right by his side and Matteo was talking, though it was unknown to us what he was saying. Will rested his head down on Matteo's lap and I watched Matteo take his shaky hands and lace them in Will's hair.
"He was just in the bathroom on the ground laying there. Completely helpless," Theo spoke up, and I took my attention off of Matteo and Will to look at Theo. I studied his face as he continued to stare forward. "I found him choking and I made it stop, but he was still unconscious. I had no idea what happened until the doctors told me when I got here. Nic was already waiting here for me to arrive.
"Nic came all the way up from the city like you and Will did. I needed Nic because Nic actually knows how to deal with things like this," Theo explained. "Other than Maverick, of course. But I knew that Maverick should stay away for the night considering everything that happened. It wasn't Mav's fault, it's just–"
"I understand," I interrupted, setting my hand on top of Theo's and gripping his fingers, which caused him to look in my direction. "You don't have to recount every detail."
Theo smiled thankfully and then sighed. He turned in his chair to face me completely and when I tried to take my hand off of his, he captured it and laced our fingers together. I let him have it despite everything. I would let Theo have just about anything right now if he asked. Things were too intense to care about everything else.
"Well, anyway... When Matteo was first slipping in and out of consciousness, he started to mumble Will's name. Nic and I both knew it couldn't be a mistake, so he tried to call Will, but he didn't pick up. That's why I called you," Theo told me. "Nic thinks there's something going on between them. I thought it was bullshit, but now..."
"Yeah," I breathed out, looking back into the room. Will and Matteo were in the same position as before. "I don't know what it is, but I won't ask Will until we're back home. It's not a good idea to spring something else on him when he's in there dealing with this."
Theo nodded and I looked back at him, meeting his gaze. I didn't look away and instead reached forward and pressed my lips to his cheek. Theo sighed and his eyes closed while my hand was pressed up against his cheek, tracing my thumb to the corner of his mouth.
When he opened his eyes again, he said, "Are you mad?"
"Not now," I whispered. Meaning, it didn't matter right now because what happened with Matteo mattered more. "Theodore?"
"Yeah?"
I sighed and leaned forward to press my lips against his just one time. I kissed him for a second, just soft enough to hopefully bring him some peace of mind. Gentle enough to remind him that everything was still okay. He'd been through enough tonight.
"I care too much about you to let you go. Or to see you in pain," I told him when I pulled away. "I care too much and you should know by now exactly what I mean."
Theo nodded but didn't say anything. I didn't expect him to. Right now, it didn't really matter and that was the truth. My eyes focused intently on the window giving a view of Matteo's room ahead of me. Matteo and Will talking with their hands clasped. I felt bad for Matteo. And I felt bad for Will, too even if I didn't completely understand their circumstances.
I just held on a little tighter to Theo's hand in the meantime. He was a little bit stupid and needed to do some growing up, but it didn't change how I felt about him.
❥❥❥
I stayed with Theo for a while before I realized Nic hadn't returned. Standing up, I excused myself to go find him.
Nic wasn't downstairs where he had told us he would be when I checked. I went outside and found nothing, then did another full sweep of the hospital through the cafeteria, the waiting rooms, and the hallways of each floor. It took me just over 15 minutes to find Nic on the second-floor terrace of the hospital, the same floor Matteo was on.
The balcony was large and set a view of the city of Syracuse. Cars whirled by and people walked the streets even though it was nearly midnight. Nic was standing with his arms resting on the railing, staring out at the city. I stepped to stand beside him and noticed a lit cigarette between his fingers.
"Nic," I said partially scolding him for the cigarette.
"I just need something, okay?" he said quietly, placing the cigarette between his lips and breathing it in, then out. "I don't smoke usually, I just... I kind of can't just stand here."
"What's on your mind?" I asked.
He looked down towards the ground and shook his head. It took him a minute to respond, but he looked up towards the skyline. "You want to know what's just absolutely hilarious, Ava? It's opulent, really." Nic took in the cigarette. "Matteo overdosed on Percocet. Care to know where said Percocet was sold to him? Or more like who sold it to him?"
Realization hit me. "Nic... You—"
"I didn't do it," he interrupted. "But Matteo did buy it from one of my guys."
Nic's eyes were watered over and I could tell he was biting the inside of his cheek trying to hold back any actual tears from falling down his face. I knew Nic had more depth to him than I had expected when I originally met him, but I still never thought I'd see him cry. But he was right on the verge and I wouldn't be surprised if eventually, he put away his facade and let himself shed a few tears.
Nic laughed dryly with no real emotion behind it. "How fucking great is that? I came up with this plan for Matteo to tell Maverick how he felt, I caused it to be a shit show, and I caused Matteo's fucking overdose. I thought I fixed problems. Well, turns out I fucking make them worse. Everything."
"Hey," I said, landing my hand on his shoulder. "You don't make everything worse. You don't."
"What do you call this royal fuck-up, then? I have a fucking business dealing drugs and my guy ends up dealing shit to Matteo for fuck's sake," Nic said. "Theo doesn't know. He'll kill me if I tell him the truth. He even said he wanted to find out who sold the drugs to Matteo so that he could kill him. How great would it be if he found out it was his brother's fault?"
"You weren't the one to sell it. It was indirect," I said.
"Direct enough," he retorted. "It's my fucking business."
"Then end it. Stop the whole business. You're the one funding it, aren't you? So put it to rest. You told me you would need a good enough reason to end it all. This has to qualify."
"It does," Nic said, then met my gaze. "Doesn't mean it's going to be easy. Or fun. The only thing I have is this stupid business, Ava. I don't have anything else going for me. I'm not going to ever sway my parents' decisions to put Theo in the position of power, I'm not good enough to take over the business myself."
"You are good enough."
"You say that but you don't mean it. Look what I caused," Nic gestured to the hospital. "We're here because I instigated this."
"Well, I did, too. Because I told Maverick. I showed him Theo's text that I was supposed to keep private, which means technically, I caused this," I said. "But we can't really blame ourselves for this, Nic. Because if everyone who felt an ounce of guilt decided to blame themselves completely, we'd all be fucked. You, me, Theo, Maverick, Will, everyone."
"Someone needs to be blamed. It's me."
"You really think lowly of yourself, you know? It's bullshit. You have your troubles, but you're not an evil person," I told him. "Put an end to the business. Theo doesn't have to know about it if you stop it and put it behind you. And apologize to Matteo when the time comes."
Nic seemed to ponder my suggestion and stood up, tossed the cigarette on the ground, and stomped it out. He leaned his back against the railing and looked towards the exterior of the hospital.
"I'll stop it. It's just going to take some time. I have things I need to take care of before I can even think of just throwing all of it away," he said. "Still feel like a fuck-up."
"You're not a fuck-up and you won't be. You told me to show my parents, so you have to do the same. And I know it'll be harder for you, but you should tell Theo the truth at some point. He thinks you want nothing to do with the business just like him," I explained. "You need to tell him that it matters to you because he knows he doesn't want the business. He just thinks he has to have it because no one else will if he doesn't."
"I know that you're right. I'll tell Theo. Eventually. Now seems like the time to be worried about other things, though. Matteo kind of needs help," Nic said. He shook his head and looked at me with a faint smile. "Why are you literally my mom?"
I laughed. "Because everyone seems to think that you aren't worthy," I said, then taking his words from a few days ago and repeating them, "when you're really worthier than most.
"Oh, fuck off. If you're going to steal my words, Ava Cunningham, I'm afraid we'll never be business partners," he joked. He took a deep breath and blinked away a few tears before looking back at me. "Let's pretend you never nearly saw me cry. How pathetic and demeaning." He laughed dryly and I smiled at his expense.
"Deal. As long as you admit to something," I said. "You've known about Will."
Nic nodded. "I've known. But it's not my secret to tell. Like I told you before," Nic said, and I knew he was right not to go around spilling Will's secrets to me as I had done with Matteo's secret for Maverick. But that didn't make me any less curious.
There was something between Matteo and Will that I suppose I should have sensed earlier. In the way Matteo flirted with Will every time they were around one another, or how when Will got the news that he was going to be John Proctor Matteo had hugged him. Maybe I should have been able to piece it all together when Nic said he'd seen Will with "people" before but hadn't explicitly said "girls".
"I know you love my brother," Nic said after a moment's silence. I didn't say anything back. He wasn't looking for confirmation because he already knew, so what was there to say? "He's an idiot and he doesn't deserve you because you, clearly, are not an idiot. He's also a fool and a complete child. He still eats shaped mac and cheese and drinks juice boxes. But I digress..."
I smiled but didn't say anything. It took Nic a minute before he spoke up again.
"He loves you too," Nic said quietly. "He just doesn't know what love is yet."
❥❥❥
All the feels, all the emotions, and all the drama be hitting at once. WHEN WILL YOU GET A BREAK.
1. Poor Matteo. He been through some shit and he just needs some good old love. Perhaps that's what Will's helping with...
2. Theo and Ava — Ava loves Theo no matter what and even though he was a DUMMY, she's like... still in love with him. Because sometimes you love people even if they're incredibly stupid. It's just how it works. I know. Weird, right? Love is WEIRD.
3. NICOLAS. IS. BABY. Okay he is sometimes an ass. And sometimes a little bit of a douche. And sometimes he is sketchy. BUT HE. IS. BABY. Nobody can tell me otherwise😤
Seeya for tomorrow's last upload! I hope y'all enjoy this : ) LOVE YOU