Bulldager bulldager bulldager. I woke up in sweats from the nightmare I just had. I grasped for air placing my hand on my chest cause I couldn't breath. It felt like I was in high school all over again. Today was My eight month check up. Yep I was eight months pregnant and no husband or even baby daddy in sight. I couldn't sleep for nothing, I just kept having that same nightmare over and over again. I hated that nightmare, It made me wake up and hate myself all over again. When I was in high school I hated the skin she was in. I didn't like being bigger than the rest of all the other girls. I wanted to hide my body and my rolls. I wanted to hide everything.
I wore baggy clothes, even my school clothes were bigger than my actual clothing size. All of my clothes were that way though. I wore my hair in a ponytail everyday nothing else, and I didn't wear makeup like the other girls. People said I even walked funny but not because i just walked that way, It was because my pants would be baggy from being to big and because of that everyone thought I was a lesbian. I never like women a day in my life, but I also didn't correct them while they were saying it.This girl name Brittany Mitchell's started it all. I didn't know what she had against me, but I never did anything to her. I hardly ever looked In her direction. One day she just start calling me a bulldagger and you know kids, they follow the leader. I was teased everyday after that. Everyday I wouldn't eat lunch and was to scared to even walk pass the cafeteria.
I didn't have any friends, not even one. That was something I regret, not being able to make any friends was really pathetic, I thought. I was happy though, I was able to overcome all the bulling, graduate, and make it out of there. I survived and that alone was a accomplishment. That dream hunted me though, every time I would get a hint of confidence I had that dream. It's as if life was telling me know your place in my world and don't forget it.
I got up and started picking out my clothes for my doctors visit today. I was really excited but my family wasn't happy about my pregnancy at all. My mother was in shocked when she found out. "Who got you pregnant," she said with this disgusted look. Before I could reply my mother apologized and said she didn't mean anything by it. I just shrugged it off, I was used to someone making me feel worthless. One of the reasons I kept my baby was because I didn't think I would ever have the opportunity of having another one again. I didn't know though, I didn't know who my baby was for. When I said that, that made them even more mad. My dad fussed and cussed ," I didn't raise you be no hoe Omani. That was funny cause I was a homebody and he knew I wasn't a hoe. Once they calmed down, I could finally explain the events that led to my pregnancy.
One night I was very bored, so I decided I should get out. I wanted to go somewhere, anywhere. I did my makeup cause I had been practicing a lot and learning so much from my favorite youtubers. After my makeup was done, I went into my closet and grabbed the dress I was suppose to wear for my graduation. I put on my favorite Japanese cherry blossom lotion and rubbed it on to my smooth skin. I put my graduation dress on and did a once over in the mirror. I couldn't help but think how much I hated my body. I grabbed at my rolls and scuffed. I pulled the dress overhead and pulled it off. I wasn't bold enough to wear that dress anyway. I grabbed a baggy pair of black shorts, a over-sized white t-shirt, and got dressed. I looked in the mirror and smile, "I feel way more comfortable in this," I thought to myself.
Leaving the house I headed to this bar I frequent. I loved going there, the older folks didn't bother me much. They let me get drunk in peace. It was empty too, they had regulars but it wasn't like a club. Clubs wasn't for me, I never went but I knew it was for younger crowds around my age. I had always heard they were packed full and people were back to back. Shaking my head I couldn't even imagine going into a place like that.
Walking into the bar I sat down and order My favorite drink a Dry Martini. I love those I was just a vodka type girl. I found my favorite little corner it was away from everyone. I just sat there enjoying my own company but when I looked around at all the regulars I got a little jealous, I always do. The thing is I wanted friends or maybe just one. All my life and I couldn't just make one friend, I thought to myself and started getting sad over again. My 3rd martini was here and I downed it with the quickness, and told the bartender keep em coming. I would usually get nice and drunk order lift and go home. Tonight wasn't gonna be any different.
These younger guys walked in and caught my interest. I had never seen them before. They looked around and one of them said, man why you got us round all these old ass people. The guy just shrugged, he said the was the closest place with a pool table. I chuckled at the thought that they came here because of a pool table. They walked over to the pool table and some of them begin to play. I found myself staring so hard. The attractiveness of each man made me blush. I was picking out each and everything I liked about them.
Then he caught my eye. He was so fine, I started getting this tingling feeling in my gut. I didn't know what it was so I just figured it was because of the drinks. I couldn't take my eyes off him he was so mesmerizing , I didn't even notice he was now looking back at me until my eyes met his. I quickly turned away and started looking at my phone pretending to be looking at something. "I must be crazy staring at him," I thought. His type would never go for a big girl like me.
It was a little pass midnight and time felt like it was going so slow. I was peeking little glances at him, and made sure they were just a second long so he wouldn't catch me looking again. "Damn, he was really that damn fine," I thought. From what I noticed he stood about 5'9 he was a caramel brown complexion. He had brown eyes and from where I sat I could see his flashy white teeth. He had tattoos all over his body from his arms to his neck. I remember thinking damn wondering if they hurt. He had a low fade and you could tell he just got a hair cut recently cause his line up was sharp as a knife. He had a small but wide nose and his lips were big and juicy. They had a little hint of pink but they were mostly the same color as his skin. He wore a all black fitted tee and some blue fitted jeans, I couldn't really see what shoes he had on from where I was sitting. He had a all gold herringbone chain on and a gold watch, they looked to be real but I heard with men you never know. Him though, he was handcrafted by god and you could tell.
As the night went on his friends were leaving one by one. It was almost 2 in the morning and I never stayed out that late. It was like I caught in a trance. I didn't wanna leave cause I wanted to keep sneaking little peeks at him. Even though I knew I couldn't have him I was a daydreamer and I knew he would be the person I was gonna be daydreaming about for next however long. By 2:30 all his friends were gone but him. It made me wonder why didn't he leave yet. I was curious as to why he was still there, this late in bar filled with old people and a fat woman. The liquor I had consumed started coming through my body and I had to pee. I got up and walked to the restroom. On my way there it felt like someone eyes where on me but I shook it off. "As if a man that fine would ever look at me", I thought. I released and washed my hands. I was beginning to get a lil sleepy, but my mind was made up and I wasn't leaving until he did. While walking out the bathroom I looked over in his direction for quick second but he wasn't there. I was a little sad because I could just watch him for hours. I sound like a major creep, I thought . Heading towards my little table to collect my things I was met by the fine mystery man. He was sitting at my table, I never talk to a guy before, so I was really nervous.
Surprisingly I didn't make eye contact with him, I just start picking up my things. I was scared and refused to get messed with and picked on. He just watched as I gather my things, he didn't say one word and just watched me. I grabbed the rest of my stuff and was about to walk off until he said SIT! He said it in a tone not loud enough to make everyone look our way, but in a tone loud enough to scare me. It brought chills down my body and when I finally snapped out it, I was back sitting in my chair placing my belongings on the floor next to my leg. I was scared and didn't want to make wrong move. The face he had with his friends, that sweet face filled with smiles he didn't have that face with me. I was panicking inside I felt like I shouldn't have been looking. He looked me up and down with this boot in his lip I remembered it so vividly. I was drunk but I still remembered everything that happened that night. I just sat there under his menacing gaze, I wanted to say something so bad but I wouldn't dare. He finally spoke up, "Whats your name?" Omani, I told him in a tone just above a whisper. " Well miss Omani you got a problem"? I shook my head left and right with the quickness No I said. " You must do, you was looking at me staring hard. You know me or sum? no I don't I said fiddling with my fingers. " well what the fuck you was looking at" I moved back a lil, my instinct told me to. He looked vicious and I didnt want to be his prey.
I'm, I'm sorry I spoke up, I didn't mean to stare. "How old are you, he asked cutting me off. I'm 27, I replied. I felt like this was a interrogation and I was being charged with a sentence. I regretted even looking his way at one point. COME! His voice boomed again but I didn't move. I wasn't going with him anywhere. He looked back at me with this evil sinister look in his eyes. So, you gonna come with me or what? I finally spoke up again, I'm scared you might kill me or something. He flashed his pearly whites and said nothing will happen to you. I'm a man of my word, my heartstrings tugged and something in me believed him.
I got up but stumbled a little because of the liquor. We walk out and proceeded to get in his Black on black range rover. I never seen one before and now I was really starting to wonder who was this man. Get in he said this time his voice softer and not so vicious. We drove in silence just listening to the Q93. We pulled up to this hotel that looked kind of hunted, so I really was tensing up now. What did I get myself into I ask. "Stay here, he said and then walked ahead to the front office". He jogged back to the car with a hotel key in hand and told me to grab my things and follow him.
We walked into the room and it was nice, even though it looked run down the room was very neat, It had a California king bed, and a T.v. The room was nice and cool from the A.c and everything. The sheets looked clean the bathroom was spotless. I was in awe at how beautiful the room was inside this busted down hotel. I sat my things next to the nightstand. Here, he knocked me out my thoughts and handed me some water. You want something to eat" he asked and I just shook My head no knowing me I can miss a few meals. You can take a shower its over there. I was sweaty and call me naive but it never dawned on me what was about to happen.
After I got out the shower I put one of the hotel soft plush robes on. It closed a little and I rolled my eyes, one size fits all. I tied it up and walked out only my legs were showing. He hopped in the shower. While he was in there I grabbed my phone and hopped on google. Google if I a guy takes you to a hotel what does that mean. All these articles popped up and I clicked one that caught my eye.
Ladies if a guy takes you to hotel, do you really think yall just going there to sleep? Think about it this way ladies he paid for a room and liquor you drink or food you eat will be charged so what you gonna do to repay him. Stop going to hotels if you not about to give it up ladies, cause you never wanna be in something you cant get out.
Oh my god sex, WHAT! I was grabbing my things and reading at the same damn time. I'm so slow what did I think I was coming here for. As I rumbled around the room looking for my clothes, I was mad he was in the bathroom but I didn't hear the shower anymore. I drop my robe and began pulling my clothes out my bag. Damn ma, you hiding all that under them baggy clothes, I stopped in my tracks and hurrily grabbed my robe. What are you doing'? "You know what I have to go", I said. "Relax why you leaving so early", he said. I'm so sorry, I just have to go.
I was walking to the bathroom with my things to change and go. He grabbed my arm not in a forceful way. He just grab my arm and turned me around, now I'm face to face with him. We made eye contact and him being so close to me confirmed how handsome he really was. Our faces are inches apart and I can smell the cool minty smell on his breath. Don't run from me, I promise I will never hurt you. I was falling in love in one day for some guy I didn't know. He got closer and closer and begin kissing my lips. I never kissed before and clearly I didn't know what I was doing. Damn ma, what you doing he said, I don't know I replied. You don't know? He replied. He hadn't pieced it together and I felt too embarrassed to explain. He trailed kisses from my ear to my neck. I started feeling something on my privates. I never felt that before, it felt so good and I wanted to feel more. "Lay down for me ma," he said walking me over to the big ole king size bed. I laid down, He spread my legs and started kissing on my thighs. He began kissing at my hot spot and man I never ever felt nothing like this before.
I was on cloud 9 and I didn't want to come down any time soon. He spread my lips apart to gain access to my clit. I couldn't help it, I never felt this good. My moans filled the hotel room expressing the pleasure I was in. I sounded loud and over dramatic but that's just how good it felt. He flicked his tongue on my gooey goodness and my body couldn't help but to squirm. His tongue was invading my privacy. The circular motions sent a different type of pleasure through my body. I didn't want to admit it but I was ready to fuck.
My eyes were closed so tightly my head started to ache. I grabbed for any and everything in my path, from pillows to covers and sheets. I was losing it, not even 5 minutes had passed before my back begin to arch, my legs begin to buckled then I released, I cummed. I finally understood that sex really wasn't overrated. He came from under my robe, hovered above me and untied it. I was bare naked and I hated it. I felt like he was getting a glimpse into my torn and broken soul.
He begin kissing on my breast, he place his thumb and index finger around my right nipple and begin to squeeze and pull on it. My left nipple wasn't left out, his mouth surrounded it as he latched on. He slurped and nibble on it, this shit was electrifying . I felt his hand move from my other nipple and start exploring my body. I felt so uncomfortable he was touching the rolls I hated, but these feelings that were all so new to me, made me forget about my self esteem in that moment. His hand finally made its all the way down to my horizon. He put his finger on my swollen nub then begin to rub It gently.
I was trying to steady my breathing, my body was heating up and I could no longer fight the urge to explode like a volcano all over his finger. I wanted to feel this feeling for as long I could. But I
I just couldn't hold it in. Tell me you like it, he whispered in my ear and that sent shivers down my spines. I -- like -- it, I said trying to sound sexy and seductive. He lifted up and dropped his robe to the floor. Man oh man was all that suppose to go in me, I thought. How was I gonna explain that I was a virgin.
He leaned backed over me and opened my legs. He lowered down between them. My heart beat sped up, this was the most action I ever got in my life. I felt his third leg brushing against my leg. He lean up a little bit more and grabbed his member, he begin guiding It to my opening. He stuck a little in and I felt like my life flashed before my eyes. This pain was worst than any cramps I ever had. I was contemplating on asking him to stop but my body wanted him to keep going. He inched in some more I had a hard time adjusting to his size. Damn ma you tight as fuck, he said with his eyes closed making these sexy ass love faces.
He finally reach the deepest my insides would allow him to go. Every inch hurts way more than the last but
But I was already to far gone to stop. I had to feel each and every last inch he had to offer my insides. He begin grinding back and forth, and I finally adjusted to his size. He was gliding in and out of my wetness and Even thought the A.c was on our bodies were so hot. Damn ma, he said putting his face into my neck. He lifted my legs above my shoulders and went deeper. I felt all of his inches thrusting in and out of me. I was
I was reaching my peak. He gripped my ass with his free hands and digged a little deeper like he lost something.
He was hittin all the right spots and I started cummin all on his manhood. My body was shaking like I was catching a seizure and he just wasn't letting up. Turn over he commanded me in a tone of dominance that made me uncontrollably wet.
I did exactly as he said. He wasn't much of a talker but neither was I. Get on all fours, he commanded while pushing my face in the pillow and arching my back. He started spreading my cheeks apart and soon after he slammed his throbbing dick inside of me and I being to whimper. I was dripping, I felt my juices flowing down from my genitalia to my sweaty legs. His grunts filled the hotel room, his moans were like music to my ears. He starts thrusting in and outside of me turning me in a heated mess. I was getting even more wetter from the slapping sound my butt and his legs were making.
Goddamn ma. He said with each thrust.
Goddamn ma he said it again. He slapped my ass so hard with his hand it felt like it would leave a bruise. but I
I didn't care I knew I was gonna be the ruff type. He started quickening his movements then I felt his had grip a handful of my hair.
Damn lil momma he moaned. his moans were intoxicating. Fuck ma he said again. His body movement begin to slow down. Shit, he moaned then he released his oozing, hot cum all in me . He fell back on the bed to catch his breath.
Come lay with me he said as instructed I got up to grab my robe from the floor. NO, leave that there and come here. I did exactly as he said and I just laid there thinking about what just happened. We didn't even talk, then I drifted away into sleep land.
When I awakened he was gone. I got up and noticed the red specks of blood on the sheets. I panicked a little, I called a lift, grabbed all my thing, and got out of there. That's the last time I ever saw him.
Let me know yall thoughts.