IN THE DAYS THAT FOLLOWED
_______
JIMIN'S RESIGNATION DIDN'T FULLY HIT YOONGI UNTIL HE WAS DRIVING HOME FROM WORK THAT EVENING. He had reached the outskirts of the city when he had to force himself to pull over and try and fix his breathing. He could feel himself hyperventilating over the fact that Rayne and Kimi were right. He had failed Jimin and it wasn't his fault that Jimin hadn't sent him the file. It was quite possible that he'd never gotten it or that it had gotten lost in the transaction or it was never sent at all. Maybe it was sent to someone else and they weren't aware of it. He had behaved childishly and unreasonably. He was stressed but it was no excuse. Everyone was. It was the modt stressful time of the time, and everybody was doing their best. Especially Jimin. It couldn't have been easy for him. Yoongi shouldn't have overreacted the way he had. Jimin worked two jobs, was probably exhausted beyond belief and yet still made the effort to show up and give it his all. Yoongi slammed his hands on the steering wheel and cried out in frustration. He was such an idiot.
He both equally upset and angry when he finally arrived home. Upset that Jimin had quit. Walked out of his life for ever most likely. Angry that he had let himself get like that and for driving the younger away. He'd just gotten him back and now he had fucked up. He didn't acknowledge Seo-Ah when he entered the house. He held up his hand to show her he wasn't feeling well and retreated upstairs to his studio, locking himself inside.
That night, he worked out his frustration and anger into a new song, which turned into him making another song and before he knew it, it was almost midnight and he'd written a whole album worth of music. He pushed himself away from the computer and soundboard and stood up. His legs felt wobbly as he opened the door. He almsot jumped out of his skin when he spotted Seo-Ah standing outside the door. "I thought you went home," he breathed, placing a hand over his chest.
"I did. And now I'm back," she replied. "Are you hungry?"
"Yeah I think so," Yoongi responded. "But you didn't have to come back Seo-Ah, I could have managed on my own,"
"Oh please, we both know you wouldn't eat for a few days when you're in this kind of mood. Go shower and when you're done come downstairs and we'll talk about what's going on."
Yoongi did as he was told and when he arrived downstairs, he was greeted with a warm bowl of soup. He took a seat at the counter and poured his heart out to Seo-Ah as to what had happened. She didn't interrupt, knowing that if she did it would only frustrate him even more. He told her about how the stress had gotten to him,, and that he was so angry and couldn't think straight. Jimin just happened to be the person he took his frustration out on and he deeply regretted it. He never meant to hurt Jimin. Ever. That was the last thing he wanted. He didn't want Jimin to come to hate him. When he was done, he ran a hand over his face with a heavy sigh.
"I messed up Seo-Ah, I messed up bad." He told her, his voice cracking slightly. He stared down at his empty bowl, swallowing the lump in his throat.
"Yes you did, Min Yoongi, but I'm sure you can make it better." She replied, clearing the bowl from in front of him.
"I hope so,"
x
Yoongi hardly slept that night. He was up early the next morning feeling worse than ever. He took a hot shower and then returned to his bed and sat in silence, staring at the wall. He had to apologize to Jimin but how? Where did he start, how did he start? He was completely lost at where to begin and he didn't think anybody was going to help him figure it out. He was utterly alone. He had to apologize soon too. The longer he stressed about it, the worse things would become. He might never get the chance to see or speak to him again. He went over the argument in his head, clearly identifying where he went wrong and what he needed to apologize for...which when he came to conclusion was literally everything. Saying he was stressed wasn't a good enough excuse for the things that he had said. Jimin was a wonderful secretary, the best he'd ever had and it wasn't his fault that things had been going wrong. It was just unfortunate timing. Yoongi grabbed his phone off the nightstand and dialed Jimin's phone number. He was just going to wing it and pray he didn't make things any worse that what they were.
Yoongi waited and waited and waited but Jimin didn't answer. "Hi this is Jimin! Leave a message at the beep!"
Yoongi left a sorry excuse of a voicemail, stammering over his words, asking for Jimin to call him back. He then waited five minutes before trying again. Once more he was greeted with the voicemail. Yoongi tried a total of fifteen times in the span of an hour but Jimin never responded once.
Not wanting to stay in bed any longer, Yoongi tossed back the covers and got up to find breakfast.
Over the course of the day, Yoongi attempted to call Jimin another thirty some odd times with no luck. He had filled his inbox and couldn't leave any new messages. During the time in which he wasn't trying to contact Jimin he busiest himself with work and figuring out what to say to Jimin if he got the chance. But he could barely focus on those either.
Defeated, Yoongi shut his phone and trudged back upstairs to bed.
x
The next day he tried again.
And again.
And again.
It didn't matter how many times Yoongi called, Jimin would not pick up. Once more, he filled the youngers' inbox with sorry attempts at apologies and pleas to call him back but all he got was silence. It worried him. Surely Jimin wanted to hear from him right? Demand and apology from him or something along those lines? Of course, as Rayne had put it, Jimin was a sensitive person and might have resorted to holding a grudge against him. Or Rayne was telling him not to answer if that was the case Yoongi was going to be upset because he really was trying to apologize.
When he realized that calling wasn't going to work, he resorted to texting Jimin.
To: Jimin
sent: 11:25 am
I'm sorry
Jimin please
I didn't mean anything that I said to you
Please I'm so sorry
Please baby|
Please bab|
Please ba|
Please b|
Please Jimin I'm sorry
Talk to me please
To: Jimin
sent: 11:30 am
Jimin answer me please
God I'm so sorry
I wasn't thinking right
You're amazing and you didn't fuck anything up
It's my fault
I shouldn't have yelled at you
I'm not mad at you
Jimin
Park Jimin answer me
To: Jimin
sent: 12:01 pm
I
Will
Text
You
Until
You
Respond
Jimin
Please
I'm begging you
Let me explain
Yoongi realized that he probably came across as a desperate fool, but if that's what it took for Jimin to reply to him he was okay with that.
And when he got tired of texting, he tried calling again.
And again.
And again.
His Sunday was a never ending cycle of ignored phone calls and text messages but he wasn't about to stop now. The amount of time he spent staring at his phone with a hopeful look was quite sad. Seo-Ah kept a close eye on him as he moped about the house in his sweats and a grumpy expression on his face. Nothing she did could make the man feel better. He claimed he wasn't hungry or that he needed some air. "You must be a special boy Park Jimin," Seo-Ah said as she cleaned the kitchen. "Making him go crazy like this,"
x
Jimin's resignation really hit him when he came into work Monday morning. He was in a sour mood, knowing all too well that the younger wasn't there and that it was all his fault. He didn't dare look Kimi, or anyone for that matter, in the eye.
He spent the morning in his office trying to memorize the monthly schedule that had been made prior to Jimin quitting. He didn't have anyone to help him anymore and he didn't think Kimi would be nice about it so he took matters into his own hand. And when noon came around, he made the trip himself to get his coffee.
He took the time outside of the office to try calling Jimin but the younger didn't answer his phone. So he shot him a text message, and returned to his office.
"Hoseok please, why won't he answer me?" Yoongi asked, trailing behind Hoseok after a board meeting. "I have tried calling numerous times, and exiting but he won't answer!"
"I am well aware of the amount of times you've tried to call. Trust me, he finds it ridiculous,"
"So you've seen him? How is he?"
"Give it a rest Yoongs," Hoseok sighed.
"No. I-If I stop trying he'llthink that I don't care about him when I do. I care a lot. I'm trying to make things work,"
"He needs space, Yoongi," Hoseok said, facing him with a heavy sigh. "Leave him be for a few days okay? Besides, he's busy with work,"
"Oh..right..."
x
Yoongi tried to follow Hoseok's advice.
He didn't try calling Jiminthe following morning. He was tempted to but if giving him space meant that he might possibly get the chance to make things better it would be worth it. But it hurt him a lot to not text or call. It made him feel as though he was giving up. Like things would never get better.
It had to force himself not to constantly check his phone, a task that proved to be very difficult. Yoongi had to start leaving his ohone behind when he left to run errands or tasks or talk to people. He worried that he might miss something but he knew he wouldn't really.
The days seem to go by even slower. Yoongi spent what little free time he did have staring at his office door, praying to god that maybe, just maybe, Jimin might walk through it. That he'd come back and Yoongi would be able to tell him how sorry he was. But it was a silly dream he made up to pass the time. As Thursday rolled around -- almost exactly week after Jimin quit -- he was beginning to think he'd never see him again.
x
It was on Friday that Yoongi got a crazy idea. If Jimin wouldn't respond to his calls or texts, maybe he'd respond to him in person. He had thought about showing up at his apartmentand being all dramatic but that would most likely end up in the pressand he didn't want to fuck up Jimin's life anymore than he already had. So the next best thing was to show up at his work. Jimin said he worked in a bar. All he had to do was go there, and calmly ask to talk to him. If he said no he'd leave, despite the heart break that it would put him in.
The only problem was that Yoongi didn't know where Jimin worked. Which meant he'd have to ask. Hoseok wasn't present no matter how hard he searched for his friend, meaning the only person that was left was....
"Absolutely not," Rayne snarled, crossing her arms over chest.
She didn't know what to expect when Yoongi asked to speak to her in private. They'd been having a group meeting when he showed up in the conference room and asked to see her in the hall. At first, she was nervous that he was kicking her out. Everything she had trained for would be a waste of her time, all for nothing but the moment she saw his face she knew what this was about.
"Rayne please! You're the one who said I had to apologize to Jimin. It's been a week. I am trying he...he's so mad at me that I can't!"
"I'm not telling you where he works," she repeated, shaking her head. "I know you mean well Yoongi, but if Jimin didn't tell you, he did so for a reason. And I won't tell you either."
"Fine! I'll find him myself!" Yoongi snapped back.
"Good luck with that."
Yoongi glared at her before turning on his heel and stalking away from her. As he made his way into the elevator there was only one thought on his mind.
Rayne didn'twant him to know where Jimin worked, not because she didn't want then to make up, but because she was nervous.
Why?
what's this? a double update?