Before I start I'd just like to thank -cupidpetals
wutizlif
iwa1zumi
-snowystxrs
ArabellaWolf66
Chisairi
Hugz4Drugz
ShitoshiHinsou
For all their help with the pickup lines!! You saved me a lot of trouble! I'm sorry for not being able to use all of them, but I appreciate you helping me out so so much ❤️
Special thanks to moonietoonz for existing and being my motivation to write!
Okay I'm ready to carry on now :)
~•~
3:47 a.m.
FarmBoi: Tendo, how do you flirt?
CookieMonster: uh—
Wakatoshi-kun are you okay?
Are you sure this is you?
FarmBoi: Yes.
FarmBoi: (F/n) said she likes flirty guys now.
FarmBoi: How do you flirt?
CookieMonster: I don't flirt 😔
CookieMonster: But I am a man of many talents, so I can teach you
CookieMonster: Google 'flirting for dummies'
CookieMonster: It's going to teach you everything you need to know!
FarmBoi: It's trying to sell me a book about flirting.
FarmBoi: Tendo I do not have the time to read a whole book, I must learn by tomorrow.
CookieMonster: Hahhahaha eager now are we?
CookieMonster: Alright alright, I'll give you the secret to any girl's heart
CookieMonster: Pickup lines :)
~•~
You turned off your alarm and sat up in bed, rubbing your eyes. Your gaze landed on a cracked picture frame of you, your mom, Tendo and his mom all together, smiling without a care in the world.
You sighed. That wasn't too long ago. You made a mental note to buy a new picture frame, since your psychopath of a dad had ruined your current one. You felt at ease now. Since he appeared, it meant you were free from his terrorising for at least another month. If you were lucky, even two. He only came back when the police stopped swarming the house. His patience was indeed remarkable.
Playing music on your speakers, you danced around the house, taking your own sweet time to eat, get dressed and pack lunch. You weren't expecting someone to be waiting outside for you though.
"I- Ushijima? What are you doing here?"
"Oh, good morning (f/n)." He greeted with a smile. "I'm here to walk you to school."
You groaned. "Did Satori send you here?"
He shook his head, much to your surprise. "I'm here because I want to be." He then pulled out his phone and scrolled through a list. You tried standing on your tippy toes to see what he was looking at, but to no avail.
"Watchu got there?" You finally asked, giving up on your secret dreams of being a spy since you couldn't even see what was on his phone despite being in a 1 meter radius of the boy.
"Did it hurt?" He asked.
"Did what hur— please don't say what I think you're going to say." You said, yours eyebrows furrowed together.
"When you fell from heaven?" He finished, causing you to slump your shoulders and walk ahead.
"I think you need to stop being friends with Satori." You mumbled.
"But you said you liked flirty guys—" Ushijima protested, soon catching up to you.
You took a double take. "You're telling me I caused this?" He only nodded, seemingly confused.
(F/n), please rethink your life choices.
"End me." You mumbled, and continued walking to school.
"Can I follow you? My mom always told me to follow my dreams." Ushijima followed closely behind, reciting pickup lines as if they were poems.
"I didn't get enough sleep to deal with this."
The moment he heard the word sleep, he frantically searched though his phone to find a certain pickup line. "You don't need beauty sleep, because you're already beautiful."
You cracked a smile, but bit the inside of your cheek to stop it from showing. Encouraging his pickup lines would not end well for you.
~•~
It was now lunch, and you were sort of avoiding Ushijima. Every interaction with him consisted of the boy pulling out his phone in search of a pickup line he hadn't already used.
Despite your protests, Tendo sat down next to you to eat, and soon, Ushijima followed. You internally screamed when he pulled out his phone again and began scrolling.
You took a bite out of your lunch, angrily chewing. 'I'm never cracking a joke around him again.' You thought.
"Are you a tower? Because Eiffel for you."
You rolled your eyes at this one, glaring at Tendo for laughing. "Wakatoshi-kun! Say this one." Tendo suggested, pointing to one on the screen.
"Oh, okay." Ushijima agreed, and read in a monotone as he had been doing all day. "Are you my homework? Because I'm going to slam you on my desk and do you all night."
You choked on your lunch, reaching for a drink when Ushijima handed you a glass of water. You accepted gratefully and chugged it down. "Tendo, What does that one mean?" Ushijima asked in reference to the pickup line he just read aloud, causing you to laugh a little.
"That's not important Wakatoshi-kun! You managed to make (f/n)-chan laugh!" Tendo said, dodging the question which earned him a kick from under the table. Tendo only made a face at you.
Back in the classroom, you took your usual seat and began taking down notes when the teacher spoke, but you had a piece of paper tossed onto your desk. Confused, you looked around and locked eyes with Ushijima who was intently waiting for a reaction.
You unfolded the paper, and never had you rolled your eyes so often in one day. 'On a scale of 1-10, you're a 9 and I'm the 1 you need :)'
You folded the paper once again and tucked it into your pencil case, not even bothered to turn around and give him a reaction.
Eventually, another piece of paper landed on your desk. A little more curious than last time, you opened it up. 'If you were a flower you'd be a damnnn-delion'.
You couldn't help but smile a little at that one even though you'd never admit that to Ushijima.
After volleyball practice, you headed straight for home only to have Ushijima catch up to you. He was used to you leaving first but made an effort to walk with you anyway. "(F/n)?"
"Hm?" You responded.
"Are you a parking ticket?"
At this point, you were amused. The boy was so dense he couldn't even tell if you were enjoying these pickup lines or not. Hell, even you weren't sure. "Why?"
"Because you've got fine written all over you." He seemed proud of himself for not using his phone to remember that one.
You only shook your head and kept walking, a small smile resting on your face.
Once you reached your doorstep, you pulled out your house keys and opened the door to step inside. You were about to say bye to Ushijima when he opened his mouth to speak.
"You don't need keys to drive me crazy."
You gawked at him for a moment, slightly impressed by how well he pulled that off.
"Ushijima, you don't have to try be the kind of guy I like." You chuckled. "As amusing as it is, I like you better as just you."
"But it's amusing right?"
You nodded, smiling softly at him. "You certainly made my day."
"Then I'll go back to being the way I was tomorrow." He shrugged. "But Tendo said he'd pay me if I kept this up for today." He admitted. "God gave me everything I wanted. Except your number."
You blinked at him a few times before laughing. "Hand over your phone then."
You quickly exchanged numbers and sent him off, carrying on with your day with a soft smile that wasn't normally there.
After you had done your work, you hit the bed and pulled the covers over you. Before you closed your eyes, you saw your phone light up briefly.
23:59
FarmBoi: last one today, I promise
FarmBoi: are you a drug?
FarmBoi: because I'm addicted
Sleepyhead: Good night Ushijima
FarmBoi: sweet dreams
Seen @ 00:00
~•~
Reader fell asleep at the end there—
HIIII ITS ME AGAIN
IM SO SORRY FOR UPDATING LATE I had no motivation to write but I think I'm getting back on my groove 🤩🤩
This chapter was also sucky I'm sorry it was way better in my head 😔✌🏼
Pls don't hate me broskis 🥺