↳ 𝖊𝖓𝖎𝖌𝖒𝖆║(ᶜᴼᴾ! ᵁˢᴴᴵᴶᴵᴹᴬ ˣ ᴿᴱᴬᴰᴱᴿ)

𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖞 𝖘𝖎𝖝

"Where is he? Where's my baby?" An urgent voice caught your attention, and you forced yourself to hold back more tears of guilt and stood up to face Tendo's mom.

"He's in the operating room right now, Tendo-san." You said quietly. This time, unlike every other time, she didn't insist that you refer to her with her first name. She was in too much of a shock.

Hesitantly, you reached for her hand and led her to the closest seats and sat her down. "I'll bring you something to drink." You told her, but you weren't even sure she was listening. Her whole body was shaking with fear. She was overwhelmed. Who wouldn't be, if their only son got stabbed?

You stepped away from her and headed towards the reception area of the ground floor where there were vending machines and punched a few buttons and selected a few snacks before inserting coins and grabbing your food.

Once you'd safely tucked the food into a plastic, you turned to head back to Tendo's mom but the look on her face crossed your mind once again.

It's my fault that all this happened.

Your mind was overflowing with guilt and the nauseous feeling that kept growing in your stomach suddenly peaked.

Feeling dizzy and weak, you stumbled to the nearest bathroom you found and threw up. You felt a little better after your stomach was completely emptied, but still felt unfocused and dazed.

You washed your face in the bathroom sink, splashing cold water on to force yourself to stay alert. When you stepped outside the bathroom, Ushijima was waiting outside, holding out a handkerchief to you.

"I'm good." You tried to say, but your voice came out hoarse and croaky. His eyebrows knitted together in worry and he stepped closer to you, lifting your chin with a hand of his and using his handkerchief to pat your face dry with the other hand.

You would normally push him away or tell him he didn't have to, but you felt too drained to do anything at all.

Ushijima took the bag of snacks from your hands and rummaged through to find a drink, but found none so he dragged you back to the vending machine and bought you a 7up.

You tried to shake your head in protest, but Ushijima wasn't taking no for an answer. Truth be told, you felt guilty for everything at the moment. You felt guilty that you could eat and drink at the moment but Tendo couldn't. That you could walk around freely but Tendo would be gone within minutes without a ventilator currently. You felt guilty that Tendo was suffering when it should've been you instead.

You felt guilty for everything, but Ushijima wouldn't let you mope. "When Tendo wakes up, you should be healthy. He'll worry if you look ill." Ushijima reminded.

That was the only reason you accepted the drink from his hands and downed a few sips, the usual pleasant fizz of the drink now felt like it was burning your throat. You must've lost a layer or two of skin in your throat when you threw up, you figured.

"What happened?"

"Got sick." You responded. "It's called nausea, it's caused by stress sometimes."

"You need to eat something." Ushijima said. "If you got sick you're on an empty stomach right now."

"Crackers." You answered simply. "It's the easiest to digest right now."

Ushijima looked around multiple vending machines in the hospital but found no crackers and so he told you to go stay with Tendo's mother whilenhe went and bought crackers from a nearby store.

"It's dangerous, dont go." You told him.

"It's going to be okay." He assures you.

"Wakatoshi, please." Your voice was strained, as if you were struggling to hold back from bursting into tears. "Satori is lying in a hospital bed with a ventilator to help him breath right now because he can't do it on his own. I'll be fine without a bunch of crackers, but I won't be able to handle it if anything happens to you too."

Ushijima stopped in his tracks and opened up his arms to hold you until your breathing had evened out. "I don't want to scare you. I won't go anywhere." He whispered while stroking your hair softly.

You nodded and buried your face into his chest, clenching a fistful of his shirt. His rhythmic heartbeat was soothing and you slowly felt yourself relaxing, and your grip on his shirt loosened until you dropped your hand by your side.

"Satori's mom is still sitting outside the operating room, I should go too."

Ushijima nodded and stepped away to let you lead the way, but with the very first step you took, your leg momentarily gave out and you stumbled but caught your balance before you fell.

You cursed yourself for how pathetic you appeared right then. You were supposed to be staying strong for Ushijima and Tendo's mother, but you could barely walk straight or even hold back your tears. Instead, you were heavily relying on Ushijima to hold you together. It was rather stupid.

"I'm sorry." You mumbled under your breath, but Ushijima seemed to have heard it.

"For what?"

"Being so weak. Especially right now." Your voice trembled, you were still worried about breaking down yet again in front of Ushijima.

"If you weren't this shaken up about your brother getting stabbed, I'd be worried (f/n). You're human." Ushijima said matter of factly. "It's okay to cry when things go horribly wrong."

"I- uhm. Thank you, Wakatoshi."

"Of course, its not problem."

"No, really. Thank you. I would be an even bigger mess without you." You rephrased.

"So would I." Ushijima admitted.

"Huh?"

"If you weren't here, I wouldn't know how to cope with Tendo getting hurt. You're the only one keeping me grounded right now."

You'd always known Ushijima treasured you, it didn't take a genius to work that out. But you hadn't realised that you were to him, what he was to you.

He was your purpose to live, your hope. And to him, you were his purpose to do something as simple as breathing, you were his motivation.
Just like you wanted to protect him, he wanted the same for you.

"(F/n), if it weren't for you, I'd have lost my sanity by now."

"I'm glad one of us is still sane, Wakatoshi. Because after all that's happened, I can't say I am."

~•~

Wow look minimal angst hahahhaha

I was gonna go all out and then procrastinated ✨✨

But next update will be pretty sad oop (I think??)