The sun kept on its gleaming, painting the canvas of the sky a bright shade of caramel yellow. It absolutely was warm and he regretted wearing the black leather jacket.
Jeongguk didn't expect the sun to be this bright here, but again there have been a dozen things he didn't expect -happening to him. The engine goes off and the drumming in his chest soars higher. Apprehension would be a real understatement to describe his feelings, given that neither does he attempt to get off the bike and walk towards the gates nor does he want to. The constant complaining voice in the back of his head nags back at him. The truth, the reality he ought to face despite him abhorring it.
"It isn't a big deal," His father had declared. But it was. For him, it had been the second hardest decisions he'd to make in his life. And though miniscule, the history of him making hard decisions never turned out to be so appealing. They left him searing with guilt.
"It isn't a big deal. You will adjust in no time." His father's words ricochet in his ears as he climbs off the bike and stares at the building before him.
There was a flood of students chattering and laughing as they sauntered inside the building. It piqued him how those students were so carefree to go inside, as if that's what they woke up enthusiastically every day for. While there was him, dreading every step he took towards the doors. It wasn't about adjusting to the new school or the new city, it wasn't about making new friends and getting used to a new life.
That, materialism, was not a big deal for him. It was the life, he had to leave behind in order to survive here that petrified him. It was leaving behind the memories- the dearest ones, the house he grew up in. It was leaving behind the remains of what didn't exist anymore that made his heart churn. The thought of moving on from something- irked him. He felt lost and betrayed when his parents had mentioned about moving to Korea.
The country wasn't the problem, the new school wasn't the trouble, but the fact of leaving behind his home, the sanctuary he and his brother had made so many memories in, caused a great trouble for him. And it all came crumpling down when they, his parents, had sold the house. An exasperated sigh, a dreaded heartbeat and a thousand memories lived in a yonder land escape his body.
He took another heavy step forward, studying the infrastructure, cleverly avoiding eye contact with any soul that passed by, and made it inside the building. He didn't hate new beginnings. He just couldn't help but not like this one. Not when he knew what expense it came at. Pulling out a piece of paper from his pocket, he looked at it. With a constant frown and blue spirit, he walked down the alien hallways on the second floor and finally found the destination.
He looked back at the piece of paper in his hand and read the list of books one more time, which only deteriorated his mood further. He then glanced around the enormous library, one which he didn't understand that why was it a three-storey. The place seemed deserted. The only companion he could seek for was the never ending book shelves. Alas, he never found solace in the books, though. The library was immense and uncannily silent.
Devoid of any disturbance, devoid of humans, which potently could leave one questioning oneself in extreme circumstances. He didn't hate libraries or books, he never tried them to begin with and apparently didn't seem to like them a lot either. But there was this one thing that he liked about the place, the silence. And surprisingly, the uneasiness he had been carrying with him ever since he moved here, even though just a little, seemed to fade away.
In those book-clad walls, seeping nothing but silence, he found a weird solace. He felt drawn towards the unexpected. Solitude is a noble companion, he had always believed. And he knew a certain corner of this library would be his sanctuary for the coming years, for it provided him his solitude. Until it didn't.
"Um, excuse me?" A ragged voice caught his attention and he turned around just a little so that he could see the intruder. She stood there, breathing hard, her shoulders hunched a little where she leaned on the door-frame for support. It seemed as if she had run a marathon to reach there. His eyes fell onto the pile of books in her frail hands and his eyebrows furrow involuntarily in surprise.
Did she just run all the way up here with all those in her hands? He thought.
"You must be Suho." she exclaimed, once she had resumed breathing normally. Her voice was more stable than before and there was a way in which she pronounced every syllable. Detaching herself from the door frame, she walked up to him. A sweet smell of lavender and citrus hit his nostrils as she extended the heavy stack of books in her hands, just a little, towards him. The books still rested on her chest because there was no way she could simply hold them in her hands without support with such a frail body.
Up so close, he noticed her slight frame as he tilted his head down to see her face. He helped her with the books, not bothering to correct her about his name, and took them from her, simply because he feared she might pass out any moment. He grabbed a hold of the bottom book, careful not to touch her bare hands around the books, but that happened anyway. An instant relief flashed through her entire body as he took the pile from her. She sighed loudly as he turned around to reach the nearest table and what she said next left him dumbfounded.
"These are the books I issued last month. The due date is the day after tomorrow, but I'm done with them. The receipts are in the books themselves. Please clear out my due-records from the panel. I would have stayed and helped you to arrange them, but I'm already running late for the class."
What?
The word was at the tip of his tongue as he watched her turn on her heels and walk out of the library, not before flashing him a big, vibrant smile and uttering a "Thank you, have a nice day".
And just as surprisingly, she had come; she was now- gone. Only leaving the scent of lavender and citrus in her wake. He looked back at the books, his mind blank and confusion trickled into his bones. There lied a copy of Great Expectations by Charles Dickinson and a chortle escaped his lips at the irony of his condition. There he was, standing in a vacant library with nothing but a stack of the maximum number of books he'd ever lifted and expecting absolutely nothing great out of it.
"Did she just mistook me as the librarian?" Not only did he dread coming to school that morning, but also his day was already turning out to be fouler with a random girl assuming him to be a librarian.
A train of curses escaped his lips as he walked towards a desk and placed the books on the table when once again he had an intruder.
"Hello." A boy, not much older than him, entered the library and walked towards him, but this time there was no lavender or citrus encasing his thoughts and he snapped back at the boy rather abruptly.
"I'm not Suho." The rudeness in his voice made the newcomer halt in his steps and look at him dubiously. He gave him an awkward nod before introducing himself.
"Okay. But, I am Suho, the new librarian. And you might be here to submit those books?" said the boy, pointing at the stack of books that Jeongguk had just kept on the desk. Jeongguk's eyes widened just for a fraction of a second in realization and he looked back at the books with a grimace on his face and the face of the girl from before flashed back before his eyes. He could still smell the scent of lavender and citrus, though really faint, and it deepened his frown.
"Yes." He declared, still looking at the books, tracing his fingers along the corner of the cover of the Great Expectations. He had none.
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Thankyou so much for reading
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