It was the first Saturday in April when I had finally gotten down the boxes on the top shelf of my closet , there were two boxes that I knew had Jackson's baby clothes. I knew that Coleen would would have a baby shower and I knew she didn't know what she was having but most of Jackson's clothes were very neutral. As I began to sort through the boxes Jackson entered my bedroom , he took the spot on my bed next to the box before saying "what's in there mama" I handed him one of the onesies before he said. "I'm think I'm too big for this" I chucked at his confusion before I said "there for Uncle Matt and Coleen's baby" he then said to me. "What's in that box mama" he then pointed to the box that I had left at the top of my closet that I knew was practically filled to the brim with stuff from Steve. I shrugged saying "I'm not sure , I think that's just some pictures" he nodded saying "can I see them" I shook saying "no I um can't reach up there". Jackson didn't really take that as an answer since he then asked "but how'd you get the other boxes and why does it have daddy's name on it". Before I could answer him there was a knock on my bedroom door I looked to see Steve standing in the doorway wearing a button up collared shirt with an awfully patterned tie peeking out of a argyle sweater vest and a sport coat which was he new work attire since shortly after the Appendix debacle Steve stuck to his word and started working for his dad. Steve entered the room as Jackson snuggled to my leg before Steve leaned over to see inside the box before saying "what are you doing". I answered his question saying "pulling some stuff out for Matt and Coleen" he then asked "are you giving them all of this stuff" I shrugged as he added "your not going to keep any of this for him" I shook my head saying. "He's to big to wear any of this" he then picked up one of onesies saying "he whore this when he came home from the hospital". He then picked another one up saying "and he wore this when my grandmother saw him" I sighed before saying "would you like to keep some of these Steve" his face lit up in joy before saying " well I'll just take a few cause you know one day he might want these and I-" Steve's rambling was cut off by a voice saying "what are you doing" Alison then appeared in the doorway before she added "you said five minutes , it's been seven" Steve then tucked the items in his hand behind my back before saying "Y/n and I were just going over the schedule". He lied , Steve just lied to Alison and she actually believed it and if I was being honest Steve was a terrible liar , she nodded saying "okay well lets go then , I need to be there an hour early" he nodded before turning to face me mouthing out the words Thank you I nodded shrugging it off before exiting my bedroom wondering where Alison needto be even though it was none of business I couldn't help but feel nosy. As Steve , Jackson and I began walking towards the livingroom Jackson spoke up saying "dad I gotta show you something" Steve nodded as Jackson practically dragged him down the hallway. While the two were back there I began to check of the list I had and made sure Jackson's bag was pack as Alison spoke saying. "You know your really smart getting the baby clothes out thinking that the nostalgia will bring him back to you". I responded saying "Alison I honestly have know idea what your talking about , I happen to have a friend who's having a baby". She then added "I'll be out of town this weekend so I better not here a single word about you when I get back" I ignored her words before I heard the faint sound that I immediately recognized as Steve's laughter causing Alison and I to look at each other before walking down the hall to Jackson's bedroom to find Steve and him on the floor next to the box that had caught Jackson's attention earlier , I plucked the stack of photos in Steve's hand causing him to say. "Hey , I was looking at those" I huffed before placing my hand onto my hip saying "those are private and in my closet which is in my bedroom". Steve sighed saying "Jackson told me you couldn't reach the box and I saw my name and-" I cut him off saying "so you just started going through my stuff" he frowned as I added "I just cannot believe you". Steve signed saying "I'm just surprised you kept al this junk" my heart feel at those words since the Items in that box wasn't junk to me , they were happy memories that I put away since I couldn't bear to remember them. Steve stood up from his spot before saying "let's go Jackson we can talk about this in the car" I spoke saying "no you won't he's fine Steve" he responded saying "Y/n if you let him get away this , he'll think he can get away with anything". I rolled my eyes ignoring his words before leaning down to kiss Jackson's forehead saying "don't let him get to you , have fun and let me know if he bothers you"he nodded before Steve spoke saying. "You always gotta bad mouth me don't you" I shook my head as he added "I'll see you on Monday, come on Jackson" as he began exiting Jackson's bedroom Jackson begun to cling to my leg before saying "I'm sorry mommy" I nodded saying "it's okay sweet pea" he then asked "can I stay with you". I really wanted to say yes and hold him in my arms but I knew I couldn't , I knew that Steve and I had this arrangement and that if I changed it I would never hear the end from Steve. I shook my head saying "oh you don't wanna stay sweetie mommy's got laundry to do and run errands you'll have fun with daddy I promise" he nodded before asking "are you sure" I sighed saying "I promise"I pulled him into a hug which was interrupted by Steve yelling "Jackson let's go". He pulled way from me before walking out into the livingroom.
That evening
After Jackson had left I kept myself busy with things around the house but all I could think about was that box placed in the center of Jackson's room. I couldn't remember the last time I had gone through that box but I could remember packing it like it was yesterday. Stuffing it with all the memories and all the material things that Steve had given me and all I could think about how he could sit there and call it junk. After throwing the last load of wash in the dryer I changed into pajamas and pulled down a bottle of wine. I poured my glass before making a spot onto the couch with a packet of cookies as I sat and my spot to watch the tail end of a cheers episode I took in my appearance to see I was wearing one of Steve's old shirts again. I huffed before deciding that enough was enough and that the old shirts I had were going in that stupid box , I got up from my spot before going to closet to pull put the shirts of his I had 'accidentally' collected and 'accidentally' forgot to return. After grabbing the shirts which I couldn't still believe how many there were I placed the box on my hip before dropping it onto the livingroom floor. As I opened the box and began to dig through I heard my front door open and close , I had left it unlocked since I knew that Robin would be coming over. As I began to remove items from the box I heard a voice say "damnit Y/n you need to lock your front door I could've been a crazy-" Robin stopped when she got to the livingroom before saying "what the hell are you doing". I responded saying "just going through some stuff, why" she took the seat next to me before saying "do I even want to know". I sighed saying "junk Robin he called all of this stuff junk" she nodded saying "I'm guessing dingus was being a dingus" I nodded before looking through the stack of photos and started to tear up as Robin spoke saying "is it safe for me to look through this or am I gonna be scared" I wiped a stray tear saying "yeah it's safe". As Robin and I went through the box I began to feel sentimental at the items and began to feel the pain of packing this box all over again.
As Robin and I got to the end of the box her jaw feel before pulling the item out of the box that I thought I'd never have to be faced with again , the dreaded ring box. Her face was as white as a ghost before she spoke saying "is this a-" I cut he off saying "it's not what you think" she sighed saying "really Y/n this isn't a ring". I responded saying "yeah it's a ring but-" she cut me off saying "you and dingus were engaged"" I again sighed saying "hardly" Robin then added "why didn't tell me you almost married dingus". I shook my head saying "cause it's not a big deal , and we were only technically engaged for a few weeks that's all". She then asked "when" I responded saying "when what" she rolled her eyes saying "when were you and dingus engaged , I mean when did he ask". I sighed before saying "it was towards the end of my pregnancy and it wasn't very romantic , and our parents found and flipped so we ended it but it's his grandmother's ring and he wants Jackson to have it". She nodded before saying "wow so what else have been hiding from me" I sighed saying "nothing" she nodded before asking. "Do you think he'll want it back for you know who" I sighed saying "I don't know" she sighed saying "I cannot believe you , I'm your best freind no screw that I'm practically your sister and you didn't tell me". I again shook my head saying "honestly Robin I told you it wasn't special or anything it was just sporadic okay , he didn't do the whole down and one knee and give this romantic speech like they do in movies it was just random". She sighed saying "wow I'm sorry Y/n" I shook my head saying "don't be I'm over it" she quirked her brows saying "really" I nodded saying "really I'm really over it" she nodded before I began going thru and putting everything back into the box. As I folded the shirts and placed the in the box Robin spoke saying "what about the one your wearing" I shrugged saying "oh I'll uh just wash it and put it in another time" she nodded knowing that I meant I wasn't going to do that. As I closed the box I noticed Robin had the stack of photos from earlier before saying "you know I think maybe you should pull a few of these out for him , he'd probably love to see these". I nodded before she added "is Jaws getting better" I chuckled at the nickname saying "she's okay she's not there she's out of town for the weekend Robin then asked "where do you know" I shook my head as she added "probably going to see her other boyfriend". I gasped saying "Robin" she chuckled before continuing to look through the photos before laughing even harder before I took the photo she was looking at to see it was the one of Jackson and Steve crammed into the tub. I laughed at the memory with Robin before she came down from her fit of laughter saying "when the hell was this" I responded saying "a couple days after we moved in here Jackson and I both had awful colds so Steve came over and took care of us". She nodded before walking up a moving towards the kitchen before asking "where's your tape" I responded saying "third drawer by the phone , why" she didn't answer my question before returning with a bag of chips and a mischievous grin on her face.
Steve's p.o.v
It was the night after dropping Alison off at the airport when I noticed that Jackson was more talkative and more himself then he had been in a long time. Which made me begin to think that it maybe had something to do with Alison not being there but there was no way that was true , right. It was the middle of the night when I was awoken by the feeling of someone shake my arm. I jolted before see Jackson who had tears streaming down his cheeks causing me to ask "bad dream" he nodded silently before asking "can I sleep with you daddy" I nodded before he crawled under the covers before I asked. "Do you wanna talk about it" he shook his head as I added "you know sometimes daddy has bad dreams" Jackson's jaw feel saying "really". I nodded before saying"and you know you don't need to be afraid cause daddy's here and you wanna know something". He nodded before adding "cause daddy's seen a real monster" Jackson gasped saying "really daddy" I nodded before saying "yeah and if one comes which It won't daddy's got a baseball bat in the closet" Jackson nodded before saying "what did the monster look like". I responded saying "I'll tell you tomorrow" he shook his head saying "no tell me now" I turned to see my alarm clock said 3:17 and I shook my head saying "Jackson it's three in the morning". Even in the darkness I could see Jackson's very prominent frown , I sighed before saying."You know you look like your mom when you make that face" He ignored my words before I started my story. I was about halhalf way through my story when I heard the faint sound of Jackson's snores , I was about to pick him up and take him to his own bed before he snuggled into me. Which I was fine with since Alison was gone and I couldn't remember the last time that someone snuggled to me since Alison wasn't very fond of it. As I laid there listening to Jackson's snores (just like mother) I couldn't help but think about how he was already five and that I felt like I had missed so much , and seeing those clothes just made the feeling worse. Like one minute he was that small baby at the hospital and now he'll be going to kindergarten in the fall , and how much he's like Y/n. Jackson has her smile and kind heart and I'm pretty sure he didn't get his brains from me , he's just so lucky to have her I'm so lucky to have her. As much as I didn't want to admit I think theres a small part of me that misses Y/n , screw that a whole lot of me but I knew that I couldn't do that to Alison when she got back so I'll just have to throw those feelings under the rug for now and maybe (hopefully) those feelings would dissolve on there own.