It was your usual day at work at the hospital-with your tasks ranging from helping patients eat, get dressed and the sort. However, today was a... special day, as that would be the only way to describe it. A grown man with brown shaggy hair that covered his eyes along with a goatee. He was dressed like a ninja, a blue body suit accented with a long scarf.
Both yourself and Karen brought him over into an unused room with his information written down. "Hattori Zenzō... called in for an emergency?" Karen tapped her pen against the clipboard she had. "Haemorrhoids. I see."
Yes, you certainly could as well. He was lying face first into the bed with his bum sticking up in the air; a red colour stained on his pants. "Well... I guess this is up to you, huh?" Karen turned to look at you with a devilish smirk. In response, you gave her a deadpanned look. "After all, look what's written down on the paper."
You grabbed it off from the girl. "Nurse in charge: [last name] [name]...?! Oh, no, no, no! This has to be a mistake. I can't deal with buttocks... especially when there's blood coming out from it!"
"Well, you should've thought about it when you became a nurse," she flaunted. "I gotta blast. Have fun~" Once she left the room, you could hear her clearly laughing at you. You sighed and glanced over to the man in pain. He seemed to be almost lifeless on the bed.
"Hattori-san, how is the pain? Rate it from one to ten. Ten being it hurts a lot."
"Right now, it's at a four."
"How about if I do this...?" you gently poked his left butt cheek.
"I give! I give! A big fat ten!"
"Okay. Stay right there... not like you can move anyways. I'm going to get a few creams, I'll be right back."
Zenzō groaned into the fabric beneath him. All he wanted to do was to read his JUMP, but he had run out of his proper medication for his problem and it got so bad that he had to call it in as an emergency. As he laid there with ease, he realised that another presence had entered into the room. "What do you want... Sarutobi?"
"Zenzō. I need information. Even though you wouldn't even be on my list of informants, I have no other choice but to go to you."
"Oh yeah? Well-"
"I'm back." The purple-haired ninja quickly hid in the closet of the room with all of the cleaning supplies. "Did someone come in here?" you asked.
"Don't worry about it."
You shrugged it off as nothing and got to doing your job. "Okay, so first off, what is your history with haemorrhoids? Have they been worsening lately? Does it usually hurt as much as it does now?"
"I've had them for quite a while... I can't remember when I first got them. I don't think they've been worsening, but I ran out of my cream the other day and it hurts whenever I don't put it on."
"I see... Do they bleed after you take a number two on the toilet?"
"I- sometimes..."
"Alrighty," you wrote down all of his answers, making sure that you didn't miss anything. Then, you went on your way and began the process. *You first needed to get yourself some protective cover. You went towards the closet, but why you needed wasn't inside, but next to it on the bench. Grabbing a pair of gloves and a mask, you put them on and got to work. "Okay, look. This is going to be as awkward for you, as it will be for me. I need to pull your pants down to see your anus."
*[The following procedures is what I found off of the internet. Please correct me if I am wrong, I have no knowledge of any health related topics.]
After some hesitation, he let out a sigh. "Do what you must." With that, you pulled down his pants and there and behold his own glory hole. You got some clean wet cloths and began to wipe it down so that it would be clean enough for the ointment. You then got out the special anaesthetic cream and gently rubbed it all over his pained area. "Usually, we would get you to do this so that we don't have to suffer, but in your condition... That is not possible."
What you didn't know was that there was another girl in the room. She was peeking out from a crack in between the doors and witnesses what was going on. Sachan wanted to scream out of how gross and awful it was. Out of fright, she turned her head so fast which caused her glasses to fall from her face. She panicked a little and began to feel her surroundings. However, in that franticness it resulted in a loud thump from the mop that fell down.
"What was that?" you asked yourself. "Argh, I'll check later." After finishing, you cleaned both himself and yourself off. Gently, you turned his body around so that he would be able to lay on his back. "How does it feel?"
"Better, I guess."
"Well, use the button on the side of the bed to get a nurse's attention. Although, since I'm in charge, I'll be coming when you call," you made sure to pack up and throw everything in the bin. "But I'll come checking in every once in a while. You shouldn't be here for long. See you later."
He grumbled a 'thanks' and once the door closed he spoke up. "Why are you still here?"
Sachan quite abruptly fell out of the closet, just barely saving herself from face planting into the ground. "My eyes have been tainted by the devil! Oh, great Gin-san! Please save me from my suffering!" She still didn't have her glasses on.
"No one told you to look."
"It was right in my face! How could I not?!"
"It was in front of [last name]-san's face. Not yours." Unbeknownst to the other girl in the room, Zenzō reached out under his bed where the buzzer to notify a nurse was. While Sachan was ranting about his butt hole, he pressed it and it made a small sound.
"What was that?"
"It was from outside."
You were cleaning up the reception desk when you saw Hattori's room lightbulb light up*. "What does that boy want now? It hasn't even been ten minutes."
*[If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's like a board connecting to the room. The board will have a name and something like a light, and once someone presses the buzzer, it will light up under the name. Hope that makes sense.]
You made your way to the room, but you didn't go in straight away. You could hear two voices from outside the door; one belonging to Hattori... and the other was a woman's voice. It sounded familiar, but you couldn't put your finger on it. You opened the door quickly, "Is someone else in here?" Your eyes flickered from corner to corner, but there was no one else there but the patient himself. "I guess not... Did you need something, Hattori-san?"
"Nothing."
"Don't call me up here if it's for nothing! I have other things to do." You shut the door to the room and began to walk to the staff room. However, someone just had to comment something that was not needed.
"You have your own problems huh? That's what you get for being so careless on the job. This is why I'm your superior."
"Karen. I'm sick of you. Don't talk to me like that."
"Excuse you! I will go and speak to the manag- Head Nurse right now if you'd like!"
"Go ahead. She likes me better than you." Karen clenched her fists and huffed out air from her nose. "Now I have a job to do. Unlike you." You told her.
"You'll get your karma..."
---
"Alright everyone." The Head Nurse gathered you, Karen and a few other nurses to the staff room the next day. "This is our new recruit. Her name is Saru-san."
The new girl looked very familiar. You could've sworn you had seen her somewhere before. She had red glasses with long brown hair. However, there were some purple strands sticking out from the top of her head. You guessed that she was wearing some sort of wig, but you didn't really care much; it was none of your business. "[last name], Karen. Take care of her and show Saru-san the ropes. Got it?"
"Roger," you playfully saluted.
"Of course. You won't be disappointed." Karen gave her a goody-too-shoes smile.
"Alright, Saru-san. I'll show you around and what you can do..."
"No! I'm first. Head Nurse entrusted me."
"How immature can you get? She entrusted both of us. I'm just taking initiative. Saru-san, this way." You took her towards the patient you were in charge of. "Alright, so right now, I'm in charge of a patient that has haemorrhoids. His name is Hattori Zenzō. You could help me if you'd like."
"Of course." Saru nodded. What you didn't know was that she was still after the information she needed from Hattori. "What can I do?"
"Well... This cream is needed for his behind to make it feel better. I'm going to write up a prescription. Go inside and introduce yourself and give him the cream."
"Okay." Once you left, she immediately went inside the room. To her surprise, the man there was relaxing with a JUMP in his hands. "Doesn't your ass hurt?"
"Occasionally. Are you that desperate to know?"
"I need it for my mission. Now tell me about-"
"I'm back. Saru-san did you give him the... Huh?" You witnessed the woman grabbing Hattori by his hospital top. The special cream thrown off to the side.
"It's not like that, [last name]-san! This is jut how I was taught to treat people."
"You must've gone to a really bad school," you scratched the back of your head and sighed. "I don't think this is the best thing to start with. I'll pass you onto... ew- Karen."
"Wait! But I can work with Zenzō! I won't do that again."
"'Zenzō'?" you questioned why she used his first name. "Whatever, let's go."
"But-" She glared at the man and muttered under her breath. "I will be back."
。。。
As Karen and Saru-san were on their lunch break, they stumbled onto a topic where they both had a similar agreement on. "Is there some sort of rivalry between you and [last name]-san?" Saru asked.
"Yes. She's just a child that doesn't know left from right and thinks that I'm always wrong. She thinks that she's the best at everything and I don't know why.... but everyone likes her?! How can they stand her personality? What do you think of her?"
Saru replied. "She gives off the 'I don't really care' aura and it pisses me off." She then remembered the time when you were with Gintoki and how close you were with him. "Oo-! I hate that girl! She's going to take my man away from me!"
"What's this now? She takes other people's mans?"
"I met this guy and we... we did some stuff. After that, we became very close. But it turns out that [last name]-san was living with him!"
"Huh? Doesn't that mean she knew him before you?"
"That doesn't matter. He is my lover, and she took him away from me!"
"Well... okay... At least we have a similar interest! Taking down [last name]!"
"Yes!"
"You guys," you spoke, walking into the break room. "break time is over." The girls gave you a side glance and let out a groan. "What's with you two? Geez."
。。。
"Hattori-san?" you called out his name as you were sorting out his paperwork.
"What is it?"
"What... what was Saru-san doing to you? You know, before I came in?"
"Don't even worry about it."
"Hah? I mean, if a nurse is doing that sort of stuff to a patient... I kind of need to report it. Especially if it's Saru-san, she kind of gives me the creeps."
"That's understandable. I mean just look at her. A creepy girl that is obsessed with one man, and one man only." You looked over at him with a raised brow. "Just be patient and watch what happens."
"Whatever you say. Okay, you should be discharged in an hour or two. Would you like me to get you anything?"
"Another JUMP manga." You nodded and went down towards the convenience store down near the lobby. You grabbed what was on display, paid and went back up to Zenzō.
"Hm... I get off work soon... maybe I could go and cook dinner for them. I wonder what I should get?"
"What?!" A girl with long purple-hair came falling from the ceiling. "Who said that you could go and cook dinner for Gin-san?"
"Who in the world...?!" You recognised the girl to be Saru, without the wig this time. She was still in her nurse's uniform, with a few cobwebs and dust particles on her. Saru got up and pat herself down. "I knew I recognised you from somewhere. You were the chick at Yorozuya... Um- Sachan? I understand now why Hattori-san said to be patient. With just a mention of a name, you're already going crazy."
"I'm not crazy! What were you planning with Gin-san?!"
"I was just- I was gonna go over to his house and cook something for them. Anyway, this conversation is over... I can feel a bad presence coming."
"Oi! You two! Don't yell in the halls."
"But you're the one who's yelling!"
"Sachan! Don't shout back to the Head Nurse..."
After a good five or ten minute lecture, you needed to get back to your delivery. Sachan followed you as you walked. "So, why are you here? Aren't you a ninja?"
"Under secret conditions I cannot tell you."
"Right... Well, I think your wasting your time. Hattori-san doesn't seem to be willing to give you any information."
"How did you know that?"
"You just confirmed it. After realising that you and Hattori-san were acquainted, it was easy to figure out that you were here for him. Why else?"
"Damn it! I need to work on my skills." You reached the room, but to your surprise, the man was gone. His bed was all tucked in and cleaned. You thought he just escaped but it turned out...
"You are too late. I discharged him."
"Karen... He wasn't supposed to be discharged without his prescription! Besides you weren't even in charge of him."
"W-Well- Yeah but!"
"Just shut your trap!"
"He couldn't of gone that far!" Within a second, Sachan had already undressed of the uniform and was in her purple ninja outfit. "Tell Head Nurse that I'm not coming back!"
"Saru-chan?! What about our friendship? Our revenge plan?"
Sachan actually smiled at Karen. "Another time!"
"What's this about a revenge plan?" you face palmed. "Now, what should I do about Hattori-san's paperwork?"
。。。
"Oh, no... My butt is starting to hurt again!" a blue ninja clenched his butt cheeks as he walked towards his living quarters. "I knew I forgot something! She didn't give me my JUMP."
。。。
"Karen don't ever take over [last name]'s patient again. You'll be in trouble if you do that without proper permission. I can't believe this..." Head Nurse paced back and forth. "You let a patient go without his medication! Do you know how much trouble the entire hospital will be in if the patient decides to press charges? You should be thankful that [last name] even went out of her own way to go deliver it."
"I understand." However, in her own thoughts, "I will get her back! It may be, Karen: 0 and [name]:1, but I will get my revenge!"