The Land of the Samurai ; 侍の国 (Gintama x Reader)

Can I Speak To Your Manager?

It was your usual day at work at the hospital-with your tasks ranging from helping patients eat, get dressed and the sort. However, today was a... special day, as that would be the only way to describe it. A grown man with brown shaggy hair that covered his eyes along with a goatee. He was dressed like a ninja, a blue body suit accented with a long scarf.

Both yourself and Karen brought him over into an unused room with his information written down. "Hattori Zenzō... called in for an emergency?" Karen tapped her pen against the clipboard she had. "Haemorrhoids. I see."

Yes, you certainly could as well. He was lying face first into the bed with his bum sticking up in the air; a red colour stained on his pants. "Well... I guess this is up to you, huh?" Karen turned to look at you with a devilish smirk. In response, you gave her a deadpanned look. "After all, look what's written down on the paper."

You grabbed it off from the girl. "Nurse in charge: [last name] [name]...?! Oh, no, no, no! This has to be a mistake. I can't deal with buttocks... especially when there's blood coming out from it!"

"Well, you should've thought about it when you became a nurse," she flaunted. "I gotta blast. Have fun~" Once she left the room, you could hear her clearly laughing at you. You sighed and glanced over to the man in pain. He seemed to be almost lifeless on the bed.

"Hattori-san, how is the pain? Rate it from one to ten. Ten being it hurts a lot."

"Right now, it's at a four."

"How about if I do this...?" you gently poked his left butt cheek.

"I give! I give! A big fat ten!"

"Okay. Stay right there... not like you can move anyways. I'm going to get a few creams, I'll be right back."

Zenzō groaned into the fabric beneath him. All he wanted to do was to read his JUMP, but he had run out of his proper medication for his problem and it got so bad that he had to call it in as an emergency. As he laid there with ease, he realised that another presence had entered into the room. "What do you want... Sarutobi?"

"Zenzō. I need information. Even though you wouldn't even be on my list of informants, I have no other choice but to go to you."

"Oh yeah? Well-"

"I'm back." The purple-haired ninja quickly hid in the closet of the room with all of the cleaning supplies. "Did someone come in here?" you asked.

"Don't worry about it."

You shrugged it off as nothing and got to doing your job. "Okay, so first off, what is your history with haemorrhoids? Have they been worsening lately? Does it usually hurt as much as it does now?"

"I've had them for quite a while... I can't remember when I first got them. I don't think they've been worsening, but I ran out of my cream the other day and it hurts whenever I don't put it on."

"I see... Do they bleed after you take a number two on the toilet?"

"I- sometimes..."

"Alrighty," you wrote down all of his answers, making sure that you didn't miss anything. Then, you went on your way and began the process. *You first needed to get yourself some protective cover. You went towards the closet, but why you needed wasn't inside, but next to it on the bench. Grabbing a pair of gloves and a mask, you put them on and got to work. "Okay, look. This is going to be as awkward for you, as it will be for me. I need to pull your pants down to see your anus."

*[The following procedures is what I found off of the internet. Please correct me if I am wrong, I have no knowledge of any health related topics.]