Gerard and I stopped by a furniture store this morning and found a table. The only issue we're going to have is that the table won't fit in his car and they can't do a delivery until after all the other deliveries are done, which won't be for two days, since they're backed up because of thanksgiving. The table we agreed on is a nice dark maple wood that should fit in his apartment.
We get back to Gerard's apartment and see Mikey standing outside of the building. Fletcher is in his arms and Mikey's crying. Gerard and I get out of the car and walk towards him.
"What happened?" Gerard asks, pulling his brother in for a hug.
"It's dad.. He got really mad and you know how he gets and-" Mikey starts but can't continue, his sobs muffling his words and he stops talking to bury his face in Gerard's shoulder. I take Fletcher from his arms so he can properly hug Gerard.
Gerard walks Mikey upstairs and I follow behind them. He unlocks the door and Mikey walks in and sits on the couch.
"I-i didn't know who to turn to... I'm sorry I keep fucking up you life," Mikey says, his voice shaking.
"Don't feel sorry, you're my little brother, all I want to do is protect you and you coming to me will never fuck up my life. You're one of the only good things in my life," Gerard says, sitting beside Mikey.
"I know how you get after fighting with dad so you can stay here for the next couple of days, okay?" Gerard offers. Mikey nods. Fletcher starts drooling down my back and I pass him to Gerard while I go to set up his crib. Once I get that done, I pick him back up and lay him down.
"I'm gonna go out and get some stuff for Fletcher for the next couple of days then. I need to clear my head," Mikey says, standing up and fixing his shirt while drying his eyes.
"Do you want someone to go with you?" Gerard asks. Mikey shakes his head and leaves. Gerard looks at me and I can tell what he wants. I walk over to him and he tilts my head up, leaning down to kiss me. His lips meet mine and I can feel their tender warmth. He pulls my legs up around his waist and walks us over into his bedroom. He lays me down on the bed and walks over to his closet.
"Take your shirt off," he orders. I begin lifting my shirt over my head and I throw it to the ground. I see Gerard with a red candle and a lighter. He lights the candle and walks closer to me. He tilts the candle, wax preparing to drip onto my skin when flashbacks to the nightmare I had about Fletcher's face melting onto the floor invade my mind. I go into a panic. What's the safe word? Oh God. I can't seem to breathe and I feel like the walls are closing in around me.
"Hesitant Alien!" I scream. Gerard pulls the candle back, setting it down on the bed side table.
"Are you okay?" He asks. I stand up and leave the room.
I cover to Fletcher's crib and just stare at him. He's okay. He's alive. Why I needed the confirmation is irrational but I needed it. I see that his face is fine, he's breathing and he's alive. I take a deep breath and try to calm myself down. Sweat is trickling down my face as I breathe heavily. I feel a pair of arms wrap around my waist and I jump, forgetting completely about Gerard for a minute.
"Are you okay?" He asks again, kissing my neck from behind.
"I-I'm sorry," I stammer, my voice shaking.
"It's fine. There's a reason the word is there. But why did it bother you so much? I've done it before.
"I had a nightmare once that you were holding Fletcher upside down and his face was peeling off and the wax reminded me of it," I explain, my voice cracking a couple times. He starts rubbing my shoulders but I escape from his touch. I grab my jacket and my gloves and I head outside. With trembling hands, I pull out a cigarette and I light it. I place it between my teeth and try to stick the pack back in my pocket.
I go back inside and see Gerard laying down on the couch. I take off my coat and my gloves and move towards him. I lean down and kiss his forehead. He pulls me over top of him and kisses me.
"I'm sorry," I whisper, breaking the kiss and leaning back a little. He opens his eyes and stares back at me. He moves a strand of my hair from my face and kisses my cheek.
"Don't ever feel bad about it. I've gone way too far sometimes and you haven't stopped me. I'm glad you did," Gerard says, he rubs my side and kisses me some more. I rub my thigh against his crotch and he moans. He bucks his hips into me and I groan. I move down and pull his pants off, exposing just how hard he is. He moves into a sitting position, giving me more room. I stroke his dick with my hand before taking him in my mouth. He slides his hands in my hair, tugging it. He tilts his head back and lets out a low groan. I lick his tip and remove my mouth from his dick, hovering over him. I slide my bottoms off slowly. He looks up at me, his lips curling into a smirk as I push into him. His eyes close and his mouth falls open. I rub my thumb on his bottom lip, wiping the little line of spit that was going to fall away. He grabs my wrist and pushes my fingers into his mouth, coating them in spit. I move out and back into him and he let's go of my wrist. My hand trails down his skin, from his jaw to his chest. I rub my thumb over his nipple, coating it in his own saliva before I tilt my head back. I grind my teeth together, trying not to be as quiet as possible and close my eyes. I roll my hips into him and he bites his lip. He reaches his hand forward and touches my cheek, forcing my eyes open and staring at him. He's got this look of pure ecstasy on his face as I continue to thrust in and out of him. His hand falls to my shoulders and grips them tightly. His facial expressions sending shivers down my spine and it doesn't take long before I come. I pull out, groaning and panting. I help Gerard find his release by stroking him slowly until he comes on his chest. He moans my name and arches his back. I pull on my pants and sit beside Gerard.
Fletcher starts crying and I walk over to him. I pick him up into my arms and I can already tell what the problem is. I go into the bathroom with him and lay a towel on the counter space beside the sink since we don't have a table anymore. I change his diaper and throw away the dirty one. I carry the little guy back out into the living room and I see Gerard sitting with his face in his hands.
"He's been gone for almost three hours and he's not answering. You don't think he left again, do you?" He asks me.
"Fuck, its not like I don't like the little guy but it's hard to deal with everyday when I have a fulltime job," Gerard shouts. Fletcher starts crying again and I start trying to calm him down.
"You don't think.... You don't think he did something to himself... Do you?" He asks.
"I don't think so," I reply, the thought hadn't really past through my mind.
Hours go by before Gerard's phone starts ringing. He answers it immediately without checking who it is. "Hello?" Gerard asks desperately.
"Where are you? What did you do? I'll be right there," Gerard says. He stands up and grabs his coat. His swings it over his arms and pulls on a hat. I put on my gloves and my coat. I pick up Fletcher. He passes me a scarf and I wrap it around my neck before we race out of his apartment. Once we get in the car, I ask him where we're going.
"The local bar," he replies, his voice stern and unimpressed. Gerard's driving to get to the bar is rough and unpleasant but fast and it doesn't take long to arrive. I see Mikey sitting in the alleyway beside the bar, puking. Gerard barely stops the car before jumping out to get his brother. He helps Mikey to his feet and carries him to set him in the backseat of the car.
Gerard is visibly upset and disappointed. Mikey reeks of alcohol and vomit. Mikey begins apologizing but Gerard gives him the cold shoulder. I can sense that there's something more going on behind the scenes that I haven't been told and it gets me wondering if Mikey was an alcoholic or something. We bring Mikey back to Gerard's and the whole drive back is full of Mikey crying and apologizing.
I can sense that they need some time alone so after I put Fletcher back in his crib, I turn and leave. I pass by an older couple on the stairs and almost bump into them. I whisper a sorry and continue on down the stairs. Once I get outside, I don't know where I want to go. Where can I go? I'm sure as hell not going to my mom's place. I haven't seen Ryan in awhile, maybe I should check in and see how he's doing.
When I get to Ryan's, I don't see any cars in the driveway and disappointment washes over me. He's probably not here. I head up to his front door anyway and knock a couple of times. I wait a minute or so and nobody answers. I try again. I sigh and turn to go back down the steps. I hear the door open and I turn around, I see Ryan.
"Frank!" He shouts with excitement. He grabs onto my scarf and pulls me into his house, closing the door behind me.
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