You were finally home. You were finally able to sleep in your own bed and you were able to finally be with your babies. However, it wasn't the same. You were pretty much stuck in bed or stuck on the couch. You weren't able to walk yet and even if you could, it would be with crutches. Harry pretty much carried you around the house, when you wanted a change of scenery or when you needed to use the restroom.
It also didn't help that you were pregnant. You were feeling nauseous practically all day and you were just hoping that you never actually got sick because your ribs were still bruised pretty bad. You weren't able to play with the kids either, and it was driving you insane. You missed the tea parties with Ella and running around after Jackson in the backyard.
Another thing that was going through your mind was everything else that was and had been going on. You and Harry were practically on a break just a few weeks ago. Simon had someone following you, which lead to the accident. Harry was dealing with the legal issues against Simon for the accident and to get Simon's parental rights of Ella taken away.
You could tell that he was stressed to the max. Between taking care of the kids, taking care of you, and all the legal things going on, he was running himself ragged. He did have the help of your parents and his, but there just some things that Harry preferred to do himself.
You two also hadn't talked about the fact that you were pregnant recently either and quite honestly it was probably because everything else sort of took priority over it. You felt horrible thinking that and that you weren't that excited about the baby, but this was not how you wanted the pregnancy of your first child with Harry to be.
You were sitting up in the bed and you felt yourself tearing up at all the horrible thoughts going through your mind. What if you never had a bond with this baby? What if you never got to experience all the joys that pregnancy could bring? You didn't realize just how much you were crying, until you felt yourself shaking and aggravating your bruised ribs.
Harry walked in carrying your lunch on a tray, when he heard and saw you bawling your eyes out. He quickly, but carefully puts the tray on the ground before rushing over to you.
"Y/N, baby what's wrong? Are you okay?" He asks worriedly.
You shake your head. "N-no." You sniffle.
"Oh my god. Uh.. What's going on? Do I need to call an ambulance?" He asks.
"N-No.." You say. "I'm not hurting or sick.."
"Then what is it?" He asks.
"I'm a horrible mother." You cry.
"What? No, you're not." He says. "You're an amazing mother."
"No, I'm not. I'm pregnant and I don't even really care... for a lack of a better word. I do care, but I just don't feel pregnant. We haven't talked about it.. The kids don't even know. I'm stuck in bed with a cast on my leg.. I can't do anything. I'm worrying if I'm ever going to even have a bond with this baby and the fact that this is our first child together and this is not how I wanted this to go. I wanted us to be happy about it and planning for it and going to doctors appointments... I didn't want it to be like this..." You sniff.
Harry looks at you sadly. "I know what you mean. When I found out you were pregnant, I was shocked. I wanted to be thrilled and ecstatic, but I didn't even know if you were going to wake up anytime soon. It was like all of these things were happening and I couldn't process it. Plus, we weren't exactly in the best place at the time..." he sighs.
"And us being in a bad place started because of us wanting to have another baby." You whisper.
"I know." He says. "And I know that we already have so much going on and that you're still healing and we have a lot to worry about, but I promise you that we're going to treat this pregnancy just like any other one. I'm going to cherish your growing bump and talk to the little one growing inside. I'm going to rub your feet and massage your shoulders. I'll get you late night cravings. I'll get the nursery together. Whatever you want, I'll do." He whispers.
"But how do you think the kids are going to take it?" You sigh.
"I'm sure Jackson might have a hard time at first, but I know that in time he'll come around." He says.
"I hope so." You say.
"How about, I bring the kids up here and we all can have lunch together?" He asks. "And then we can tell them about the baby."
"Yes to the lunch, but I think maybe we should tell them about the baby a little later." You say.
He nods. "We can tel them whenever you're ready."
"Thank you." You say.
"And baby, please don't worry about how you're feeling right now reflect on you being a bad mother because you're not. You're going through a lot right now and your emotions are all over the place. I'm sure that in a few months or less than that, you'll find yourself being yourself again." Harry smiles.
You nod putting your hand over your stomach. Harry smiles leaning down to give your belly a quick kiss before giving you one and heading down to get the kids.
You sigh leaning back against the pillows and you just hoped that Harry was right about your emotions being all over the place because you wanted nothing more than to be able to enjoy and be happy about having a baby with the love of your life.
**
You were finally out of your cast and put into a boot. It was a little easier to walk around with, but it still was harder to walk for you. You were starting to show a little baby bump and you knew that it was only a matter of time before you and Harry needed to tell your families and the kids.
You still didn't feel pregnant, but how could you when there was so much going through your mind. There was a now a court cause involving Simon and the PI he hired and there was a custody hearing about forcing Simon to give up his rights after endangering his child.
Harry on the other hand, was keeping to his word about taking care of you and enjoying this pregnancy. You woke up early one morning to him singing softly to your bare belly. You couldn't help, but smile as you watched him and it was moments like this that made you excited for what was to come in a few months.
You were walking down the stairs slowly after waking up with Harry not in bed that morning and you saw he was cooking breakfast and he was holding Ella while he flipped pancakes. You stand in the doorway and watch the two of them together.
"Daddy silly." She giggles.
"Ella's silly." He smiles putting a little pancake batter on her nose.
She giggles shaking her head and laying it on his shoulder. "Wuv Daddy." she whispers.
"Love Ella." He whispers kissing her head.
You were tired of standing, so you walk into the kitchen and sit down at the table. "Morning, loves." You smile.
"Oh, baby I didn't know you were up. I would have helped you." He said.
"It's okay. I got it. It just might take me a little longer to get down the stairs than normal." You shrug.
"Mommy!" Ella smiles reaching for you.
You smile taking her from Harry and holding her in your lap. "Wakson come day?" she asks.
"Yep, he'll come tonight before dinner." You smile.
"Yay! Miss him!" She pouts.
Harry gives a small smile. "I know you do, baby. He misses you too, but he'll be here before you know it."
She giggles and claps.
**
Later that day, Abby brings Jackson over and the kids quickly go over to play with their toys.
"I see how it is!" Harry feigns hurt when Jackson completely runs by him.
"Hi Daddy!" He giggles laying down in the floor and pushing his cars around.
You all laugh and Abby looks over at you. "So, how are you feeling?"
"Better." You say. "It's still day by day though."
"Well, I'm glad that you're doing better." She says.
"Thanks." You smile. "How have you been?"
"Good. Hunter's been away for a few days, so it's been nice to sort of have some one on one with Jackson, but I do miss him." she says.
"Yeah, I know what you mean." You nod.
You two talk a little bit more before Abby leaves. You and Harry walk into the living room where the kids are and when you sit down on the couch, Jackson walks over and climbs into your lap. You smile wrapping your arms around him and he smiles.
"Miss Mummy." He whispers.
"I missed you too." You whisper.
"Mummy feel better?" He asks.
"I am especially now that you're here. You know Ella missed you too." You smile.
He giggles and looks over at her. "Miss Wella!"
She giggles and comes over to climb onto the couch and sits in Harry's lap.
"So, what should we do tonight?" Harry smiles.
"Uhh... Pisfa!" ella giggles.
He laughs. "I didn't say what we should eat for dinner." He says tickling her.
She giggles. "Yes uh!"
Jackson giggles. "I wan mwoive night! and uh a fort!"
"We can do that." Harry smiles. "And we can order pizza for miss Ella here."
"Yay!" They both shout happily.
You and Harry laugh before tickling both of them. They screech and giggle and move around trying to get away from the tickles. This was what you missed, having the kids here and just hearing and seeing them laugh, you just hoped that when they found out about the new baby, they would still be happy.