"So... are you going to tell me where we're going?" Jimin called from over his shoulder.
Jungkook sighed, exhausted from his sleepless nights and dreading this conversation.
"I don't know, just somewhere quiet I guess," he answered nevertheless, guiding his best friend away from the hustle and bustle of the cafeteria.
It was as they were walking past the men's toilets that it happened. Looking up, Jungkook stopped, heart thumping wildly in his chest. Because there, ahead of them was a woman, but she had animal ears, long diaphanous wings on her back and... was that a snake tail? Jungkook drew in such a ragged gasp that he choked on his own spit and was sent into a coughing fit, his eyes blinking away the tears as he tried to watch the woman. But one blink was all it took for her to disappear.
"Kook, you okay?" Jimin worried, having caught up and now rubbing his back comfortingly.
"Did you see her?!" Jungkook nearly screamed back, eyes searching wildly.
"Saw who, Kook? No one's there, you're scaring me..."
But he was sure someone had been there, or something. She'd been there as clearly as he could see Jimin, and it forced panic down into his lungs, because how could he not panic? He'd had wonderful, magical dreams which weren't dreams, where he'd gotten hurt and then he'd stopped dreaming but he remained injured. He felt empty and alone, even with his friend there next to him, and now he was seeing things. Seeing monsters, or magical beings, or something in between. And it was too much. He could feel his legs shaking and his mind turning into a mess of endless nonsensical chatter.
He could sense the panic attack arriving and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
Nothing.
That's when the toilet door swung open and a shadow barrelled through, colliding with the two men stood right in front of it. Jungkook and Jimin stumbled backwards under the strain, both holding onto each other for dear life as they tried to right themselves.
"Ah, sorry!" a voice fired at them, and although it was deep and smooth it was bubbling with excitement. It sent chills up Jungkook's spine. "I'm in a hurry so I've got to run, but sorry again!"
The stranger ran back the way they had come, his hand waving wildly behind him, a great big grin lighting up his face, leaving behind a memory of sparkling dark eyes in Jungkook's dazed mind.
"Wasn't that..." Jimin started.
"He was beautiful," Jungkook breathed out, eyes still fixed on the doors the stranger had disappeared through, not seeming to realise he'd said anything, not noticing his panic attack had been absorbed by the trance he now found himself in.
"Yeah..." his best friend answered, and the obvious smirk in his voice brought Jungkook back to reality. "I was going to say I think that was Kim Taehyung."
Jungkook stared at him cluelessly, as if this meant nothing to him, and Jimin gaped.
"Kim Taehyung: winner of two daesangs; came out with a new album three weeks ago; came out as gay at the same time?! HE MADE IT ONTO THE BILLBOARD 200?!"
None of this was ringing any bells with his friend, and Jimin moaned dramatically, immediately dragging the other one by the hand, ranting as they walked about how he'd been talking about this all morning, about how he was a terrible friend, about how Kim Taehyung had single handedly started a social media frenzy of people coming out, about how he was the first Korean artist to ever reach so high up the charts with music mentioning same-sex relationships.
When they got back to Jungkook's desk, Jimin sat him down and grabbed a chair for himself, before going straight to YouTube and typing in the search bar.
"He posted two MVs, the first one is a coming out song and, honestly? I sobbed."
He clicked on a video with a purely black thumbnail.
"Jimin..." Jungkook choked slightly. "I'm not sure I can take sad songs right now..."
His best friend glanced his way, his face calculating and worried.
"Okay, well let's watch to his second MV then, it's much more upbeat."
He went back, then clicked on the video beneath it, which this time had a pure white thumbnail.
"This one is like a letter to the world, positive and makes you want to just... I don't know, support him, I guess? It's amazing."
[A/N: Listen to: Free To Be Me by Francesca Battistelli*]
Soft drums and a single guitar came on. Some sort of synth in the background. The song was upbeat, happy, like it wanted to dance and hold you. Like it wanted you to come in and listen closer.
At twenty three years old
I'm still looking for a dream
A war's already waged for my destiny
Kim Taehyung's voice was impossibly soft, so calming, because he was at peace, and he was just sharing a part of that with the world, with his fans.
But You've already won the battle And You've got great plans for meThough I can't always see
Suddenly the voice filled with power and passion. It filled Jungkook's head with hurricane gusts, yet he could hear a smile in the echoing voice and it drew the darkness out of him.
'Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeansTry to fit the pieces togetherBut perfection is my enemy
He sang like he was glad he had been broken at some point... because it had led him to where he was, and Jungkook felt his throat tighten, his eyes began to sting.
And on my own I'm so clumsyBut on Your shoulders I can seeI'm free to be me
Chills travelled down Jungkook's arms, feeling the love and hearing the smiles the singer was pouring into the song. He felt his soul shudder inside of him, like it was trying to answer a call but was kept locked inside it's prison.
When I was just a boy
I thought I had it figured outSee my life would turn out rightAnd I'd make it here somehow
It was... hope. Bottled up and offered to him as gift.
But things don't always come that easyAnd sometimes I would doubt, oh
And he knew nothing about him, but he wanted to tear that doubt apart and raise him to new skies.
'Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeansTry to fit the pieces togetherBut perfection is my enemy
Chills ran up and down his arms, one single tear escaping, not in sadness but in... something else.
And on my own I'm so clumsyBut on Your shoulders I can seeI'm free to be me
and You're free to be You
He just wanted to carry the man to the moon... was that how stanning someone felt? It wasn't that strong normally... right? He hadn't ever reacted to a song like this, had never felt so strongly just by listening to a voice before.
Sometimes I believe that I can do anything
Yet other times I thinkI've got nothing good to bring
A growl left the back of his throat, and he didn't care, not even with Jimin staring at him from the chair next to his, astonished.
No. Kim Taehyung had so much to bring to this world. He needed to know that.
But You look at my heart and You tell me
That I've got all You seek, ohAnd it's easy to believe
even though
His voice reached to impossible heights and Jungkook was sucked into it, forgetting the world around him entirely, giving himself over to the song.
I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeansTry to fit the pieces togetherBut perfection is my enemy
Another tear slid down his cheek, emotions too strong and spilling over.
And on my own I'm so clumsyBut on Your shoulders I can see
He wiped it away with a single, shaking hand.
I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeansTry to fit the pieces togetherBut perfection is my enemy
And on my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can seeI'm free to be me
and You're free to be You
It ended, and the waves crashed down into nothingness. Jungkook shook himself out of the trance he had been in, tensing up immediately. Next to him, Jimin spoke, his tone soft and careful.
"You okay?" he asked, no malice or pity in his voice.
Jungkook didn't answer, just stared down at his hands which were now fiddling with each other nervously.
"It's a beautiful song," his best friend continued. "It's okay to react to it strongly."
But 'react to it strongly' didn't seem anywhere near to covering just how much the notes and lyrics had touched him. Every one of his cells felt like they were moving, speaking to one another, like they were trying to tell him something.
He shook his head and forced himself to concentrate on the real world, head spinning, his voice returning. And a strange thought struck him.
"Hey... don't those lyrics sound familiar somehow?" Jungkook asked.
Jimin made a face at him.
"Uh... no? I don't think so? Don't tell me you think he plagiarised because BOY I will fight yo..."
"No, no!" the younger chuckled despite himself. "I just feel like I've heard those words before...'On your shoulders I can see'?"
The phone on his desk rang, pulling him out of his thoughts. He picked up the receiver and winced when a voice came through.
"Is Jeon Jungkook there?"
"Yeah that's me... who am I tal...?"
"You're late," they interrupted, with a lazy yet cold lilt. "You have two minutes to get here."
The line went dead immediately, signalling whoever it was had hung up on him, possibly in anger.
"Who was that?" Jimin asked, as he clicked on the replay button for the forth time.
"CRAP!" Jungkook shouted, rushing to his feet and yanking his computer out of it's charging cable. "I forgot I had a meeting!"
"With who?!" Jimin shouted at him as Jungkook sprinted down the corridor, his silhouette a mess of hanging cables and fluttering papers.
"Min Yoongi!"
***
[*When I was choosing the song, I was scouring the internet for a certain kind of lyrics
I found this and thought it was perfect, because I was imagining it as a gift to his fans.
It wasn't until much later that I realised it was a Christian song written about God.
The song still fits though, and I like it so that's why I picked it, not for any religious reasons.
I'm not comparing Army (or Tae's fans) to God. I just like the feeling the song gave of support and togetherness and openness.
It fits. I think. :) ]