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Did I really scent Namjoon while I was a cat? As I get dressed again in the privacy of his bedroom, I blush red at the thought. The implications of that was a direct interpretation of how much he meant to me.
I haven't told him that yet, but I guess the fact that I scented him sort of says it all without my mouth having to find the words.
Initially, it had scared me. I knew I was falling in love with him and the idea was intimidating. This was...different. I've never loved someone like this, to the point that it feels like he makes up a part of me that I never realized was missing.
But that's exactly what it feels like. Colors are brighter, food tastes better, the whole world is more beautiful than it's ever been because I have him. It feels strange to think that I used to live a life with no Namjoon.
A life with no Eskimo kisses, or love poems written for me, or someone holding my hand all the way to and from school, or late nights where he tries to impress me with his knowledge of constellations. Except that he has zero knowledge about them and ends up renaming them all after our cats. ("That one is Madam Sparklepuss because it looks like it's wearing a crown.")
While it was frightening to realize I had fallen so hard for him, at the same time, it felt so good to let go and just fall. To let these feelings take over me completely. I was through with running from it, and after BooBoo left, I needed something stable to hold me up.
Namjoon was the perfect choice because of the mate bond since he can't run away from me.
He's stuck.
Lucky him.
Also he's perfect because he's Namjoon. I don't know how but he always seems to know what I need before even I do.
After BooBoo, everyone sort of banded together to help. At the time I was so depressed I didn't realize it, but now when I think back on it I realize how much they all did for me. Surprising. I wasn't aware that many people liked me.
The main three were Namjoon, Eun-ji, and Lucifairy. Namjoon and Eun-ji got me. They understand what BooBoo had meant to me and what losing him had done to my spirit. At one point, I felt strangely ashamed that I was so depressed and broken over the loss of a pet. Society told me that it was 'just a cat'. That animals aren't on the same level as people.
Supposedly, we're superior. Maybe. But what had society done for me that my pets hadn't?
Society wasn't there for me when I lost my mom. Society didn't stick by my side and make me feel loved and made sure I had a companion. Society didn't give a shit every time I cried, whether it was over something serious or trivial.
That was all BooBoo. He carried that.
And now my sweet little Luci is trying her best to keep me company. I have no idea why she started sticking so close to me, but I'm not complaining. I still miss my orange, grandpa cat like crazy, but at least I don't feel alone.
A knock sounds at the door and I startle slightly, having been lost in thought.
"Y/n? Are you decent?"
Namjoon. What should I say when I see him? 'Yeah, so I scented you but it's because you smelled like a bowl of ice cream'. But it's true. And the funniest part, he smells like mint chocolate chip.
I'm gonna throw that in his face.
When I'm less self conscious over what I just did.
This was the first time I've ever been close enough as a cat to smell him, so it had caught me off guard. Why did he smell that good? He doesn't smell like that when I'm a human. And it's not just mint chocolate chip ice cream. It's mint chocolate chip ice cream with a touch of maple syrup and something homey that vaguely reminds me of my childhood. And it isn't just that smell that got to me, it's the way it made me feel. Like...I was home, safe and warm, cuddled in my bed.
"I-I am." Damn you Y/n for stuttering. We're way past the shy and awkward stuttering stage now. I should be more confident. That's right. I'm a strong, confident woman, I can face this.
The door creaks open and there's my boyfriend, looking happier than I've ever seen him before. For some reason I'm not a confident woman anymore and want to avoid eye contact. Not that it matters since he immediately goes to wrap me up in yet another hug, and I will never complain about his hugs. They never escalate to python level anymore but always make me feel whole. We don't have to speak when he holds me like this anymore, either. What he wants to convey is a thank you and what I respond with is 'sure but let's never mention this again'.
I have to wonder if he understood what I was thinking when he was holding me as a cat earlier, too. It wasn't much. Just: 'wow you smell so good lets cuddle forever you're mine'. I didn't even care that he introduced me to his friends like that. They'd all been curious, but Namjoon nearly bit Jimin's hand off when he tried to pet me. Which reminds me.
"Why is your nose turning purple?" I pull away and gently stroke the damaged bridge of his nose, wondering if Hoseok ended up being too much of a handful, after all.
"No reason." One of his shoulders lifts into a shrug and he ducks down for a kiss.
I avoid it. "Obviously there's a reason. Did you guys fight?"
"There was a slight tussle." his lips aim for mine and I dodge him once again by leaning backwards.
"Who hit you?" I need to know so that I could hit them back, but I refrain from letting him know that. No one, not even his friends, get to hurt my Namjoon and get away with it.
He sighs. "I don't know. It was dark and there was a struggle. Don't worry," he smiles down at me as if he knows exactly what I'm thinking. "I'm fine. It was an accident."
Maybe so, but I still need to hurt them back. I'm about to press the issue further when the subject of why I came here in the first place comes back to me.
"Oh! I just remembered why I came here." I tell him happily, and his expression drops to one of confusion.
"You didn't come to visit?"
"No." Lately I've been cutting our time together because finals aren't that far off. Namjoon might be a genius and may have already been accepted into a good university, but I've still got a whole year left to study my ass off. I feel like I've neglected my studies for long enough and plan to make up for it. Today is the first time in three weeks we've seen each other on the weekend. And that was only because: "granny sent me over to invite you to dad and Ronald's commitment ceremony. She said 'those youngins wouldn't appreciate a good invitation'. That, and she seemed to think you wouldn't know how to RSVP."
"Just me? Or..?"
I'd wondered this, too. None of them really know dad apart from Namjoon. Jimin and Taehyung had briefly met him once a few months back when us three and Eun-ji thought it was a good idea to form our own study group. That was a stupid idea. We got literally zero work done. Partly because I found a rerun of that robot monkey documentary and made everyone watch it, but mostly because Granny saw that a group of young, healthy people were there and made us all do housework. For four hours. Then she gave us all one shot bottles of butterscotch liquor for our hard work. Needless to say, homework was the last thing from our minds after that.
Back to the point. None of them really know dad and Ronald, but I felt weird about not inviting everyone. I talked about them all the time and had spoken about the ceremony. Jin even comforted me more than once when I showed insecurity about having to share a home with a new man. Ronald had slowly moved in over time and at this point, it was comfortable, but it hadn't always been that way.
"Whoever wants to come." I finally decide on. "But they have to RSVP today. Text me the number of people later. And the whole theme is super boring and cliché. All white on the beach."
"Alright. RSVP, everyone wears white, got it." Namjoon nods and then leans again. "Can I have a kiss now?"
I roll my eyes. Was he thinking about that this whole time? I'm moving forward to give him what he wants when my phone goes off. Before I even glance at it, I know who it's going to be.
"Shit!" I completely forgot about my plans with Eun-ji today. As though his dreams have been crushed, Namjoon sighs sadly and moves to sit on the edge of his bed, watching quietly as I talk on the phone and apologize over and over.
I'm a terrible friend. Eun-ji has been wanting to go buy dresses for this ceremony for months and I keep blowing her off for one thing or another. I'd promised today and forgotten once again.
"I'll meet you there in fifteen minutes, I promise." she merely scoffed at my reply and threatened to never buy me Jolly Ranchers again if I didn't hold my promise. I know I haven't been the best friend, but that was a low blow.
Namjoon's eyes are downcast and he looks like someone just rained on his parade. It makes me want to double back and tell Eun-ji I can't come, but the responsible part of my brain tells me not to do that.
After hanging up I grab my bag and head for the door, giving him a casual goodbye with no hug or kiss to tease him. Knowing him, he's probably so lost in his own self angst that he'd buy it.
"Ok, bye, homie." he absolutely hates when I address him this way and I can see the way it prods at his current mood, like I'm poking a sullen bear with a stick. I skip from the room like I'm happy about leaving him, sending him a wave over my shoulder.
There's a quiet few seconds where I sneak back to the door and peak in to find him still seated on the edge of his bed and pouting heavily, eyes on the doorway as if he fully expects me to come back through.
He's so cute.
And even cuter when he perks up as I skip back into the room. Not wanting Eun-ji to wait for too long, I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him quickly. Short but sweet, enough that he's satisfied.
Or so I thought.
"That's not enough." his arms hold me tightly around my lower back when I try to move away, his bottom lip stuck out comically. "One more."
Always so eager and loving, he never makes me feel unwanted. If anything, I feel too wanted. I kiss him again, this time a little longer and he pulls me closer, causing my back to ache from the awkward angle.
Again, it's like he knows what I need because the next second I'm seated next to him rather than bending over him. My legs resting comfortably across his lap and the hand that isn't encircled around my back is avoiding the extremely ticklish area of my knee. Instead it's balled into a fist and resting against my outer thigh. Like the gentleman he is, if he thinks I might not like for his hand to be some place he curls it up and keeps it out of the way...Or this could be because I've had to kick him a lot.
That's his hands. There's nothing gentlemanly about his mouth. Months of experience have taught him what I like and how to do it right and he doesn't hesitate to go right in. His lips are hot and move against mine seamlessly, causing me to forget that I'm supposed to be leaving.
Pulling back slightly, he gingerly nibbles on my bottom lip and slides his tongue against it, only for me to pull away and go back to mild and chaste touches. He goes along with this for a few seconds before trying again, this time forgoing the love bites and attempting to slide in the hot appendage straight away, but again I pull away and deliver a peck to the corner of his mouth before going back to kissing.
He grumbles something unintelligible against my mouth that I can't make out, but the tone is frustration. I like kissing him. But I like teasing him even more.
No, wait. There's somewhere I need to be.
"Namjoon-ie." I move my head backwards to break the kiss, but this time he's not having it. Instantly I'm pulled back and the hand formerly balled into a fist is in my hair, holding me close as he kisses me deeper.
I have no idea how I got here. Actually. Where is here, again?
Eun-ji. Eun-ji is waiting.
"Wait." I manage to pull back long enough but then gasp when his mouth latches on to his spot on my neck. "N-nam-" I stutter before his tongue rolls hotly over his favored place.
Well. I'm not about to argue with that.
Fuck Eun-ji! I'll find other friends!
God, I love this. I love him. Now's not a good time for that, though, right? Or is there a such thing as a right time? That doesn't register in my brain so much. Namjoon's kisses make me feel high. They make me feel like any time is a good time. They make me feel loved, he makes me feel loved, and I want for him to know that he's loved, so that he can feel that too.
Fuck it. I'm gonna tell him.
"Namjoon," I sigh, uncaring of how breathless I sound. "I lo-"
"Noona!"
Jungkook bursts into the room—why the hell do we never lock it—and launches into a story about his cat, Bunny. Either he doesn't notice that we're scrambling to pull ourselves apart, or he really is that sadistic and doesn't care, I can't say. What I can say is that his cat is twerking.
Wait, what?
"Say that again." I tell him, red faced and straightening my hair as if that's going to erase what he just walked in on.
"She's doing this weird meowing thing," he says, his eyes round with worry. "And, well, twerking."
"Cats don't twerk."
"Bunny is!" he insists, grabbing my hand and dragging me down the stairs.
We find Bunny who is clearly in heat, caterwauling and taking every opportunity to stick her butt in the other cats faces. Jungkook obviously wouldn't know what this is and it makes me giggle to think he really thought the cat was twerking.
"Jungkook, she needs to be spayed." I tell him gently, glancing at the time on my phone and mentally freaking out when I realize I'm already late.
"Spayed?" his eyes blink 'innocently' but I know better. At least I have a feeling I do. "By the way, noona," he leans closer and sniffs at the air. "You smell funny." then he grins, evilly, his head titled while his eyes slightly widen in a maniacal fashion. "Like sugarcane."
If Jin and Namjoon hadn't walked into the room right then, I might have punched him in the throat. As luck would have it, with witnesses I could only blush wildly and scowl, my eyes promising retribution that I would probably end up forgetting to deliver.
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Edited 6/2/22