Nash's POV
I sat on the bed staring aimlessly at the ceiling. Hayes just left. He said he had some business to attend to. Sometimes I wonder if I deserve a brother like him. He always takes care of me. He always makes sure I am okay. So when he found out about my using I couldn't help but feel guilty.
In a sense yes I do feel bad for relapsing. But I can't handle my own emotions. I simply can't.
What Hayes said has been running through my mind. Cameron has a new boyfriend. I've been replaced in his life. I don't matter to him anymore. Do you have any idea how much that hurts? Because it's a lot. All I've ever wanted was Cameron. But I keep fucking up. There's no point for me to live a decent life if he's not in it.
I miss him so much. I miss him so much. I miss the way his hand would intertwine with mine, I miss the way I feel inside of him and I miss his kiss. I just miss him. I miss him so much.
Ten minutes can't go past without him brushing my thoughts. I dream about him. It's becoming a problem. I feel like I'll never get over this. I feel like I'll never get over him.
And strangely enough, I didnt want to. As much as I knew I needed to get over him, I didn't want to. And I was okay with that.
//
Hayes' POV
I sat in the living room, anxiously awaiting Shawn and Taylor. They had sent me a message saying that they were showing up. I didn't respond. I don't respond to most of their messages.
I hated that they were showing up. I knew that they wouldn't take no for an answer though.
I know that this is about the wedding. But to be brutally honest I doubt I would be going. I doubt Nash would go either, seen as Cameron would be there. I didn't want to disappoint them so I just ignored them. I know it wasn't the best but I hoped it would get the point across. It obviously didn't.
It's not that I wasn't happy for them or anything. I was, I really was. I've always shipped Shaylor, it's just with the Nash issue, all I can do is worry. Worry that one day I might find Nash dead.
I heard a car pull into a driveway. I let out a sigh and got up. I walked to the front door. I mentally prepared myself.
I opened the door and there stood Shawn, Taylor and Cameron.
My heart began to increase. No. No. No. He cannot be here. What if Nash sees him?
"What is he doing here?" I asked while making eye contact with Cameron.
"Hayes look-"
"No Cameron. Do you not recall our little conversation. You're not welcome here." I stated.
"Look give him a chance Hayes." Taylor said.
I glared at Taylor. So he was on Cameron's side then?
"No, he doesn't get a chance. He had a chance. Before he left. And he threw it away." I then faced Cameron. "And now you think you can just stroll in here. No Cameron. You need to leave." I stated.
"Hayes. Give him five minutes. Hear him out." Shawn said.
I ignored Shawn and faced Cameron.
I sighed. "I'm so fucking surprised you didn't bring your boyfriend along with you. Do you just want to hurt Nash. Because that's what you're doing-"
"You seem to forget Hayes! You seem to forget all the shit your brother put me through hay! Let's not forget that he put me in hospital for fucks sake. Hospital. I was near death. He messed me around Hayes. He really fucking did. He got engaged for fucks sake. He made me feel like I was incapable of ever being loved so excuse me for reacting the way I did. I know that it doesn't justify my actions but Hayes. You don't know what happened on your birthday. You don't know the whole fucking story." Cameron screamed. "I made a promise to myself. I promised that I wouldn't let him lay a hand on me again. Hell, he promised he wouldn't lay a hand on me again. And he did. So sorry okay. Sorry for trying to find love in another place. I'm sorry I tried to find someone who actually loved me. Who was proud of being with me!" He continued. He had tears in his eyes.
"Nash loves you more than anyone else does! You have NO idea!" I shouted.
Cameron let out a bitter laugh. "It doesn't fucking seem like it. I am one hundred percent done with everyone judging me on my decisions." He said.
"So you are going to give me a god damn chance to talk to you properly and to talk to Nash after you explain to me what the hell has been going on here." Cameron demanded.
I gulped and nodded my head while stepping out of the way so they could come in the house. Cameron was terrifying when he was angry. I knew that it wouldn't matter what I said. When Cameron wanted something he got it.
Taylor smiled lightly while Shawn let out a sigh of relief. They walked into the house with their hands intertwined. I couldn't help but admire their relationship.
Cameron took a seat on the couch. So did Shawn and Taylor.
"You are going to sit here and explain everything."
//
QOTD: favorite Youtuber?
- Onision, Bertiebertg, Caspar Lee, Troye Sivan, Cameron and Nash (obvi) and probably Superwoman