Sierra's POV
My eyes fluttered open as the calming sounds of waves could be heard crashing against the rocks while I lay there. There was a wide variety of sensations encompassing me. I felt light like I was levitating. I experienced a total sense of serenity, security, and warmth. Like nothing and nobody could touch me. It was a feeling of absolute dissolution.
I lifted my head, gently pushing myself up to a seated position. I looked around to notice I was in the middle of nothing. There was nothing around me. The ground was like a short spread of hazy smoke. I slowly rose to my feet, dusting myself off. I twirl around looking above me then below me but I was surrounded with nothingness. Suddenly I heard a loud and distinctive bark. I snapped around to see a bright light where the barking was originating from.
I began walking slowly towards the light, and closer to the barking. I noticed as a small silhouette became larger as I went. Eventually, the brightness of the light dimmed slightly and I saw the face belonging to the silhouette. It can't be...
"Índigo?" My voice was barely a whisper as I watched her running, beelining her way to me.
She lunged herself at me, pushing off my body as she connected with it. She then did a twirl before looking up at me with her wagging tail, her stunning wide Staffordshire smile and slight hopping of her front paws. She used to do this every time we arrived home when she was alive.
I crouched down in front of her and tried kissing her. As per usual, her zestful form was too much and her boisterous personality took over as she jumped up and down, making it difficult to attain that kiss. Índigo was my childhood dog. My best friend. And my companion when everything went wrong. She passed away a year after my mother and it was probably the last nail in the coffin for me and the girl that I used to be.
"Mija, what are you doing here?" The instant my ears received and perceived her voice, the tears began filling up in my eyes.
I looked up and saw Abuelita standing there. She was dressed in a peaceful white dress as she smiled at me. Her eyes were shining brightly, filled with happiness. I felt the first stray tear fall down its path. Her smile grew wider as she gently bent over and wiped it away. She then moved aside and that's when I saw her.
"Mamá?" I slowly stood, shutting my eyes tightly then opening them to see if it was all real.
"My beautiful girl, look at you." Her voice was just as I remembered. Gentle, pure, and exquisitely ethereal. Her head tilted to the side as she gave me that exultantly loving smile she used to give me every time she was about to tell me how proud of me she was.
I began shaking my head profusely.
"You can't be proud of me. I've done nothing to be proud of." The sobs begging to be released ran through me as the tears fell in an uncontrollable form.
"Oh, but I am. I am so unbelievably proud of you and the woman you have become." She never faltered in her demeanor.
"Why? Look at the pain I inflicted. Look at the suffering I caused to a family that never once deserved it! A family you held dearly and close to your heart. A family that respected you in its highest form. I will never be able to measure up to the woman you envision me as." I sucked in a sharp breath as the sob escaped again.
"Baby girl, you are so wrong. You were misguided, poisoned, and abused. However, you turned around and fought back. You righted your wrongs. You never backed down from that. You might have failed in the beginning but your victories today are greater, filled with dignity and love. You hold so much love in your heart, which is the greatest achievement I could have ever wished upon you. An achievement I wish I could have taught you. You allowed it to encompass you. You allowed it to flow through your veins. You allowed it to show you your truth. You are more than enough and worth every single bit of it."
"But look at the destruction I left behind me in my path." I rebutted in a shaky whisper.
"But look at the fulfillment and healing you left behind in others."
I furrowed my brows slightly as I tried comprehending her words.
"Without you, someone wouldn't be whole again. Without you someone would still be in pieces, wallowing around the world feeling unworthy. Someone would still be in pain, suffering their own internal demons. Only you were able to quieten them down and heal the destruction they left behind. Only you."
Niccolo...
My eyes closed as I remembered everything that has happened over these months. Everything that transpired in the last 48 hours.
"But he..." I trailed off shutting my eyes in an attempt to control the tears. "He hates me. He looks at me and sees nothing but pure malignancy and repugnance."
"No, my baby. Come here." She waved me over to her. I slowly walked past Índigo, patting her on the head as I went. I stopped in front of my mother, afraid to touch her in case it would all vanish before me, and trying to understand what was happening.
She gave me the same smile, cupping my face gently before caressing my cheek with the back of her fingers. I reveled in the feeling of having her so near.
"You have grown into such a beautiful woman and I have had such pleasure watching you enter into your beauty, watching you grow and find yourself. Watching you grow into the person you have become."
The tears began falling again as I felt her fingers on my skin. They were warm and it was a touch I had missed dearly. She wiped my tears away before pulling me into her embrace. It was at this moment that I broke. The last pieces of string holding me together ripped apart as I felt the love I should have felt all my life. In her arms again, I allowed myself to feel everything.
"You may have scars, baby girl, but you keep rising. You have been bruised but you continue to be brave. You have had your heart broken but you proceed to love. You have seen fear, death, destruction and yet you continue to walk through that canyon of darkness with strength like no other in hopes of finding that valley of bliss. You have been shown every reason to lose faith in what you deserve but you still believe deep inside that it's there waiting for you. You still believe that you belong. And you do belong because you are my baby girl."
"You embody a wild heart, my dear. A heart that cannot be tamed by lies, hatred, and despair. Your heart keeps fighting until you find the freedom you believe holds all the truth, no matter the painful obstacles needed to overcome. And to want your share of that happiness is not a sin. No matter how many mistakes you have made, don't deny yourself that because you found the light in a hopeless and dark place. You found love in that place too."
"But he doesn't -" I began before my mother placed her finger on my lips.
"Hush, my child. I want you to close your eyes, clear your mind. Look past all this haze, all the ringing noises, all the screaming voices. Listen carefully." She placed her forehead on mine as she spoke.
"What am I listening for?"
"You will know when you hear it." She lifted her head and kissed my forehead. I felt a deep, stifling pang in multiple areas of my chest. I hissed as my hands lifted to hold onto myself. It happened so quickly and was over within seconds. I looked at my mother and Abuelita in perplexity before releasing my breath.
"I think it's time to go, baby girl. Abuelita and I need to get back." She had a smile even as she was bidding adieu.
"No! I want to stay with you! No, I don't want to be without you again!" I wrapped my arms around her midsection and held onto her as tightly as I could.
"It is not your time, baby girl. You have so much still to do. You have so much coming to grace your life that I have seen. You have so much still to grow. And we will always be here. I will always be here." She pulled back and tapped my chest.
"You will be living for the two of us. Don't you ever hang your head because I will always be there. I will be there in every song sung, each sunset and sunrise. Just as I was before. Every one of our memories will always be within reach. We will both be within reach." She gestured her head in Abuelita's direction.
Abuelita came and stood by her side, wrapping her arm around my mother's shoulders. They both held my hands in theirs and squeezed gently. I felt a nudge on my leg causing me to look down to see Índigo watching me with her beady eyes. That wide smile lit up her face as she licked my barefoot.
"Mija, I am so proud of you. I always was and I always will be, no matter what. Always remember that. You found your truth and you saw it through your eyes, not your father's words. Te queiro (I love you)." Abuelita spoke to me before kissing my cheek.
"Te queiro mucho, mi querida (I love you so much, my dear)." My mother said grabbing my attention. She gave me another kiss on my forehead then pulled me into one last hug as I closed my eyes.
"Yo también te quiero (I love you too)," I whispered softly.
She pulled back enough for her lips to reach my ear as she whispered.
"Now, listen, baby girl."
I opened my eyes but they were all gone. I looked around me and it was only myself in the middle of a smoky room. The bright light was no longer there and I could feel fear and anguish. I could feel a pain like no other. However, it was not my own. None of it was mine which confused me. I took a deep breath and shut my eyes again in an attempt to listen as my mother had mentioned. I tried concentrating as I heard machines reverberating a harsh sound, voices screaming in distress, a banging of some sort with an electrifying sound. I could hear crying and sobs of gloom and desolation. Eventually, I heard what I think my mother wanted me to hear. I heard those words that I never imagined were possible. That I never believed I deserved to hear. Those words that I never thought anyone would be capable of saying to me. Those words I never expected him to say.
"I love you, Princess."
Niccolo's POV
After my father managed to restrain me outside Sierra's room, I broke down. My whole body felt like it was losing a piece of me I never knew was there. A piece I never realized had made its way into my heart unknowingly, lighting up its path and warming up every crevice.
I heard that defibrillator sound, haunting me twice more before a silence tormented my mind. I sat on the floor with my back against the wall and my head in my hands as my fingers grasped the strands of my hair tightly.
Soon after, my mother emerged from the room. Her face was crestfallen which made my heart race. I began trembling at the thought of what words were about to leave her lips. She looked up, scanning the area until she found me. She walked over then crouched down before me, her hand on my knee.
"Baby..." She stopped and took a deep breath. "We managed to bring her back but her heartbeat is weak. Baby, I cannot promise you anything. I cannot say she will make it or that she won't because I truly do not know. My suggestion to you would be to say what you need to say... Say your goodbyes..." A few tears trickled down her cheeks before she finished off. "Just in case."
My head was spinning now, my breathing was labored as I tried to hold my composure and my consciousness. I shot up and went straight into her room, not a single word to anybody else.
The nurses were finishing their clean up before covering Sierra's exposed chest and laying her comfortably in the bed. I watched them as they all left, one by one, before closing the door behind them. I needed to be alone with her. My father had already called for Rafael, who went home earlier in the day to check on Odette and Alessia.
I sat on the chair beside her bed, taking her hand in mine. I sighed as I stared at her face, studied her postures and committing it all to memory. I picked up her hand and brought it to my lips, placing a delicate kiss upon the back.
"I don't know what more to say to you. What more do I do to make you stay? What more can I do or say? I don't know what I did with my life before you. I don't even remember how I got by. I was simply existing in an active world, but you came and showed me what it felt like to be living. I need you to listen and hear me, taking in what I'm saying." I felt the tears falling down my cheeks. I didn't even bother wiping them away, there was still more to come.
"I love you, Princess." I bowed my head, closing my eyes and replaying all our memories like a movie reel. The ones that held nothing more than me and her in pure bliss. I sat there with my head in my hands, my hand still holding onto hers like it's the lifeline keeping her here with me.
The silence fell upon us again, but this time the silence wasn't quiet. It was earth-shattering for me. However, when I felt a small squeeze of my hand then the voice that ignited every single crevice of my body within, it became earth-shattering of the good kind. The beautiful kind.
"I love you too." Her coarse and pained voice sounded out.
At first, I was almost convinced it was a figment of my imagination, but soon after when I felt that gentle squeeze, everything changed.
My head snapped up swiftly. Those green and brown ombre styled eyes bore into mine. She gave me a weak smile before nibbling on the inside of her mouth nervously.
My body reacted the second it actualized she was here. As soon as my mind presented the realization that she was, in fact, truly awake before me again, it commanded a reaction. I stood up abruptly, leaned over the bed as my hands found her face. I held her as I hastily connected our lips.
She let out a sharp moan from the impact that she unexpectedly received. Her hands rose, placing themselves on my chest as I deepened the encounter. My tongue swiped her lips and she parted them, her tongue instantly darting out and meeting mine. She raised her hands to cup my face as she pushed against me harder, the kiss turning into another earth-shattering experience.
She grunted in discomfort as she tried shifting closer to me. I pulled back and looked at her concerned.
"What's wrong?"
She hissed slightly as she lay her head back and tried stretching her torso gently and slowly.
"It's fucking sore." She grumbled underneath her breath. She tried controlling her intake to short and quick ones in an attempt to not move her abdomen too much.
"Let me get my mother or Olivia." I turned around to walk out when I felt her hand grab my wrist.
I shifted myself back to her, watching as she took in a short breath.
"Please, don't go. I'm not ready to be bombarded with doctors and nurses." She spoke softly to me.
I gave her a small smile before settling in the chair again, twisting my hand around to grab the one she had wrapped around my wrist. I held it, gently stroking my thumbs over her knuckles as we just sat there in a silence that I was still unsure of whether it was a comfortable one or not.
At times, I sat watching her, running my eyes over her face. I know she can feel me staring, but she avoided eye contact. She kept evading it, even when we spoke. She kept looking out the window, in a pensive state.
"Did you mean it?" She whispered.
I could barely hear her but I had made a mental note to pay attention to her when I heard her attempting to take a deep breath in before speaking.
"Did I mean what?" My voice was slightly higher.
"That you..." I could see, from watching the side of her face, that she closed her eyes in an attempt to gather herself.
"You know what, nevermind. I think the meds are finally catching up to me now." I watched her force a small chuckle, lacking amusement.
I narrowed my eyes on her, observing as a tear fell down her cheek. She used her free hand to discretely wipe it away, attempting to make it seem like she was scratching the side of her neck.
I stood from my seat while letting go of her hand. I pulled a lever that allowed me to bring down the sidebars of her bed. This caused her to twitch slightly as she looked at me with a startled expression.
I sat down on the side of her bed, making sure I was as close as I could be without hurting her. I placed my fingers below her chin and gently pushed her face up to look at me. She tried avoiding my eyes again until I wrapped my hands around the sides of her neck, my index finger and thumb placed on her jawline. I gently held her in place before talking.
"Hey, hey. Look at me." I followed her gaze to try to place myself in its line of sight. Eventually, I caught it, looking into those eyes that somehow managed to take my breath away even when they had lost part of their sparkle.
"Yes, I did mean it," I spoke sternly. Her brows knitted together.
She thinks I didn't understand what she was asking, but I knew. I knew the instant her mouth sounded out the first word.
"I love you, Sierra, and I am so fucking sorry it took me this long and this kind of suffering for me to see it."
I held her gaze as her tears fell down her cheeks again, this time my fingers being the ones to wipe them away.
"You shouldn't." She began shaking her head with her eyes shut.
"Don't." A small sob escaped her as she forced her face out of my hands to turn to the side.
"Not after everything."
"Baby, stop it. You don't get to hide. Not now that I know your ways. Especially not now that I know how you truly feel. I most definitely should, I can and I will. Even after everything, through all of our mistakes. Mine included." I gently ran my fingers up and down her arm in an attempt to calm her.
The feel of her skin beneath my hand was doing things to me. Fuck, I missed her. I can't go through that again. I need to have her in my arms and by my side indefinitely.
She turned her face to look at my hands. I watched her take in a breath as she prepared herself to speak again. However, the click of the door opening interjected causing us both to look up just as my mother gasped, her eyes wide as she scanned Sierra.
"Oh my God, you're awake! Olivia!" My mother stepped back and shouted down the corridor, her eyes still glued to Sierra.
She then charged inside, making her way to the other side of the bed.
"Sweety, how are you feeling?" My mother started asking her as she pushed some strands of hair behind her ear.
"I'm alright. It's just sore." Sierra replied as she tried to gently shuffle on the bed.
"Any headaches? Dizziness? Vomiting?" My mother continued her questioning as she proceeded to examine her.
"No, nothing of that sort. I am really thirsty though. Am I allowed to have some water?" As she finished speaking I got up, making my way over to the little hospital tray where there was a water jug and glass set. I poured out some water and took it back.
"Of course, darling." My mother replied, nodding her head in my direction to indicate to Sierra the water was there.
She slowly maneuvered herself to look at me. Just then, Olivia walked into the room, her eyes widened as she froze then made her way over to my mother where they began softly discussing Sierra's condition.
I held out the glass of water which Sierra gradually took from me. She placed it to her lips and drank the full cup in one go. She let out a deep sigh as she finished before handing me back the glass.
"Thank you." Her voice was low, a whisper, but still distant.
She wasn't her feisty self. She wasn't speaking more than a couple of words at a time. Her big-mouthed replies are nowhere to be seen to challenge me. We needed to talk about this, I could see it was affecting her.
There was a knock at the door and we all turned to see my father standing there. Sierra immediately bowed her head, keeping her eyes fixated on her blanket's hem that she was fiddling with. Her brows became furrowed and her facial expression changed to a distressed one.
"How is she?" He asked my mother, still watching Sierra as she shuffled in her nerves.
"She seems alright. She is very weak and the wound is healing very slowly. But, otherwise, everything seems fine." My mother beamed as she spoke. My father returned a small smile before his gaze went back to Sierra.
"May you all kindly leave the room? I would like to have a moment alone with Sierra." His voice was stern yet calm and sensitive.
I watched as Sierra's breathing hitched and she swallowed apprehensively. She pursed her lips in between her teeth and a stray tear fell down her cheek.
"Dad, I don't think now is a good time. Can we do this tomorrow?" I tried.
"My boy, it's only a conversation. Nothing else. It will be quick and nothing stressful." My father was adamant.
I sighed looking over at Sierra. She had noticed my attempt and gave me a fragile smile before replying with a curt nod to tell me it was alright. I reciprocated the nod while walking back to her side.
"I'm right outside if you need me," I told her while I stood there. I then bent over and placed a lingering kiss on her temple, pulling my lips back to her ear for a split second.
"I love you," I whispered.
I noticed the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end as she rubbed her arm up and down, probably trying to tame her body's reaction to me. I couldn't help the grin that formed on my lips but I hid it as soon as I could before making my way out of the room, right behind my mother and Olivia, and shutting the door behind me.