I just stared at my cousin who still had her arm wrapped around me. Then I looked at Gabe sitting on the couch, I narrowed my eyes. I could tell that he was in an uncomfortable position. Well, he has all reason to be. It was like some one had walked in and ripped my heart out, and burned it. Not even throw it away, but burned.
My body temperature rising. Then I realized, I was angry. Actually I was furious. I know it sounds strange that I'm not sad or depressed, but I was fuming. I was actually scared that you could see steam rising from the top of my head. Not like I cared at this moment in time. I was just so angry at my cousin. She got everything.
The looks, the style, the fans (I know I'm famous but she is a bit more), the clothes (but mine are awesome too), the accent (british, just not fair) and the boys (Gabe...no explaination needed).
"Mandy? Cousin, are you alright?" Mia said waving her hand infront of my face. I just stared at her.
Of course I'm not ok. No duh, sherlock. But the thing was, I wasn't angry at my cousin. I was angry at Gabe.
I remembered today. The mall, the driveway chase and that moment in the bedroom (do not think wrong readers). I can't believe I thought of us being anything more than friends.
"Well I guess I should leave you guys alone then", I said turning towards the door. As I gripped the handle, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I whipped around to see it was my cousin. For once she actually looked worried. I loved my cousin deep inside, we were actually good friends once. But we hated each other to the point of competition and games. Not to the point of destruction, but sometimes it was. But when it was, it would only be temporary.
I looked at her and smiled, well tried to. I didn't want her to worry, I just wanted my friendly yet vicious rival back. She smiled at me which was a sign that we were good.
I walked out of the room into the main foyer. I looked at the people aroung me, having a great time. If i'm going to be on a tv. show, might as well learn how to act now.
So i took a big breath in and plastered a huge smile on my face and joined the party. After a few minutes, the smile on my face became real and I started to enjoy myself. Then finally, the music started to play. I found myself dancing randomly.
Hey, when at a party its time to party, right? I started to dance even more crazily (yeah i am aware that is not a real word, hello english major), and starting a conga line with Lizzie and Suzy. We were tearing up the dance floor, and no one bothered to upshow us. Even my cousin started to dance with us, and I have to say that our duo would kick anyone elses in to the ground. I even almost forgot about what had just went down......Almost.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Gabe exit to the backyard. I knew that Cole made it very clear that it was off limits, but I just wanted to see what happened to Gabe. I don't know why I even cared about him at this point. He played me, he led me on, but I still cared. I sighed as I excused myself all the way to the backyard. I took a deep breath and stepped outside.
I cool breeze whipped through my hair. It was one of those epic movie scenes. But my heart just didn't seem to be in it. It was one of those scenes where one is depressed and the other comes and says something deep and they kiss under the moonlight.
You are kidding me right? Those scenes don't happen, those sprinkler scenes don't happen. I am a romantic but even I know that it don't happen. As much as I want it too, it just won't.
My sunk sunk a little more, but then I saw Gabe just wandering the grounds alone. His head ducked, his hands in his pockets, eyes fixed on the ground. My heart lurked, I felt sorry for him. But I don't know why he has any reason to be sad at all.
I mean, i was the one to catch them making out. I was the one who has never had a date in her life. And I was the one with the perfect older brother, a mutlitalented little sister (who is 13 by the way) and a always-seems-to-be-better-than-me cousin. But I decided to go talk to him anyways.
As I ran up to him, I saw a flicker in his eyes. Running in heels is hard, so he better have a good explaination to the whole making-me-run-in-heels thing.
"Gabe! Why are you out here alone? Are you alright?" I panted/ gasped/ asked.
"Huh? Ooh um yeah I'm fine I guess", he said truning his back to me.
"Ok but you only answered one of my questions. Why are you out here alone", I asked again, getting anxious this time.
"I uh..I..needed to...um..I needed to..um ..think", he finally spat out. I just blinked at him. Why is he being so blunt? This is so frustrating.
"Gabe, I don't want a blunt answer. Just tell me. I'm serious, I was um..worried about you", I confessed softly.
"Really? Why?" he asked shocked.
"I dunno, I just don't like seeing people sad, I guess", I said putting my hand on his shoulder, turning him around so he was facing me
"Do you really want to know?" he asked, "I don't think you can handle it thought". Usualy people say this in a teasing tone, but he sounded geniually serious.
"I think I can" I smiled, trying to get him to loosen up a little.
"Ok then, well come with me, but take off your shoes", he said pointing to my feet.
I bent over to unbuckle my shoes, as he kept his gaze fixed on me. I slid out of them and set them on the pavement of the back deck. I ran back toGabe.
"Ready to go?" he asked. I nodded, but I wasn't so sure. What did he have to show me? Why does it have to be a secret place? Why can't he just tell me now?
He finally smiled for the first time tonight. He held out his hand and I took it instantly. He walked us both down to the edge of his backyard. There was a small path, prefectly paved with a rustic style stone. He led me up the sidewalk for about 10 minutes, but what was at the end shocked the life out of me for the second time that night.
It was a beautiful stone garden, lined with perfectly cropped plants and topiary (greenery). There was a gorgeous white gazebo right in the center, surrounded by pure white benches. I was astounded by the sight of this garden. That those five boys had such a classy garden.
Three of the four sides were lined by tall white walls, which were covered with vines. The last side glass, over looking L.A. I let go of his hand and went over to the glass wall. I put my hand on the top, running over its smooth edge. I walked along the wall to find a small platform, jutting out over the cliff, nothing supporting it. On it was a small table and two small chairs and two seater.
I walked out unto the platform, having the breeze blow against me once more. I felt on top of the world right now. Like Rose on the Titanic , feeling as majestic as she could feel. That's how I felt at this moment. I felt fragile yet sturdy, but so alive and free.
Gabe suddenly appeared beside me. And looked out to the city with me.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" he said putting both hands unto the glass.
"Yeah it is totally gorgeous but I don't see why we have to talk up here", I asked still fixated on the view in front of me.
"I just didn't want anyone to disturb us, you know?" he said.
'Uh ok so anyways are you going to tell me or not?"
"Right, so um reme,erm remember earlier tonight? When you caught me and Mia um...together?" he asked me still focused on the city lights.
"Yeah, I think I remember that, sure", I said ducking my head embarassed.
"Well i just wanted to explain"
"Gabe what is there to explain?"
"Um Me and Mia. It's not what you think it is".
"Then what is it? You and Mia are dating, what's there to be confused about"
"I was just worried about you, I mean I saw your face when you walked in there. And I started to be worried about you".
"What? You left the party because you were worried about me?" I said suprised.
"I guess so".
"But I just don't understand why. I mean why do you care at all?"
"Did you even see what I have been trying to do this entire time? How hard I've been trying to evoke any kind of emotion out of you?"
"What are you talking about? You think I'm the poker face, please. I have been trying to read the signals your sending me but I just don't understand. What are you trying to tell me?"
"I'm trying to tell you that I don't like this whole friends thing. I know that we have just meet up again after 6 years but I don't know. Ok just don't know", he admitted running his hand through his perfectly styled hair. I didn't notice I was holding my breath, but i exhaled quickly. Suddenly I was burning hot. I started to fan myself rapidly but it wasn't working.
"Um Amanda are you ok?" he asked putting his hand on my shoulder, which made me freak out even more. I tried to nod but I didn't have the ability to.
"But what about Mia?" I managed to spit out still fanning myself.
"What do you mean?" he said worried.
"You two are dating aren't you? I mean I did catch you guys", I gulped, "making out?".
"Ooh that um that's just a um tv scheme. It's not real", he confessed. He is lying, he has to be.
What kind of show makes two people date for the sake of a show? This is ridiculous. I stared at Gabe with his hand still on my shoulder.
"So wait, managment is making you do this?"
"Yeah, that's why I was worried about you. I didn't want you to think it was real. That's why I was worried".
"So you were worried that I thought you were actually dating my cousin?"
"Yeah, I was worried about your feelings, Amanda", he said pointing to me emphaizing that he was talking to me.
"You were worried about me? I mean, my feelings?" I said wide eyed looking at him. He nodded. I felt heat creep up in my cheeks.
"Yeah I'm one of those really geeky romantic guys, who hide there weirdness in the privacy of their bedroom".
"Are you serious? You are a romantic?"
"Please don't tell the guys they will make fun of me till the day I die. But yeah I'm a romantic, so please I beg you".
"You don't know how hard it is to find a true romantic?" I said softly. He smiled.
"You know earlier today I was thinking about moments like this. How they probably never happen". I stared at him in awe. Wow, we even had the same thoughts. He truly is full of suprises.
"About how they stand under the moonlight talking then one of them decides to kiss the other. And then happily ever after. I've always wanted one of those moments to share with a special girl", he continued.
Then I remembered what he said before performing. A special girl that he liked but didn't realize that she liked him back. It was then I really saw how much I wished I was that girl.
"I have always wanted one of those moments too. But I always keep saying that its impossible and just a dream". I confessed.
"Or maybe its not", he said. I turned to look at him. I don't know what it was, but I knew he was right.
"Maybe this can be that moment, just pretend that I'm the person that holds your heart". he suggested.
I smiled at the idea. I wanted so bad to kiss Gabe at that moment. Gabe, with his amazing hair and charming eyes. His deep and extremly hot voice, his prefect body (hey i am still a girl people). His eyes shone in the light from the moon making him look even hotter. I winced at my own thoughts.
"So do you want to do it or not?" Gabe asked putting his hands on my shoulders. I took a deep breath.
"Yeah, I think its a good idea", I said blushing. He smiled widely, then took a step closer to me.
He slipped his hands around my waist and pulled me right against him. I looked up into his eyes. Then he lowered his head, but I stopped him.
"Gabe wait, this is my first kiss. I I I um just. I don't know if I want to do this", I confessed, "I'm kinda...scared".
"Don't worry Amanda. Here just close your eyes", he said soothingly, I did as he asked me.
"Now imagine the face of the guy you want most", and again I did as he asked.
"Now pretend that I am that guy, and pretend this is the moment that we have always wanted", he said softer.
I opened my eyes to see that he was right infront of me now. So close to my lips, I started to quiver. He moved his hand up my arm and to the back of my neck. His lips brushed mine and electricity shot through me.
"You don't know how long I have been waiting for this", Gabe said in a low voice.
Then he put his lips fully on mine. And I felt like I was floating on air. Our lips moved in sinc against each other. it was amazing. His lips so soft, his hands planted on my waist and neck. Then suddenly, Gabe took a step forward and pressed me agains the glass wall on the tiny platform. Part of me was terrified that I was going to fall over the edge, but the other didn't really care what happened.
Then suddenly his hands moved down my legs and lifted me off the ground. He placed me on the edge on the glass, wrapping my feet around his waist. Then he put a slight pressure on my lips. I've seen it so many times but have never actually felt, but I knew what to do. I opened my mouth and let his tongue explore me. He put even more pressure now. I realised that I wasn't even kissing back. His mouth left mine and rested on my collor bone, leaving kisses down my neck. I held back a moan. How does he have such a huge effect on me?
I had enough of his games. Finally finding control of my hands I ripped his mouth from my neck and planted his lips back on mine. This time I kissed him back. Letting myself fill with pleasure. As his tongue roamed my mouth, I moaned quite loudly. He just smirked at this.
I felt a cramp in my lungs and decided to end the kiss. So I pulled away. I gasped loudly, filling my lungs with air.
"That was just so, wow" I said panting still out of breath.
"Not bad for a first kiss then", Gabe said, trying to cover up that he was just as out of breath.
"Actually, it was perfect" I admitted, feeling like I was turning red again.
"So who were you thinking of", Gabe said.
"A guy I like" I said softly, "What about you?".
He shifted his hands and since I was still on the glass I couldn't go anywhere. So he put his mouth next to my ear. He left a kiss under my ear, then behind, then right on my ear. I shivered again.
"You wanna know who that girl is?" he asked in a low, and sorry to say sexy voice. I nodded.
"Well that girl just so happens to be.." then he trailed off.
"Who? Gabe tell me", I said.
"Alright that girl just so happens to be" he started.
Then he moved his face infront of mine. I gazed at him. I didn't say anything but I was pleading for him to tell me. I wanted to know so bad who he was thinking about during our kiss.
"That girl, Amanda, is you" he finished.
I was shocked. He was thinking about me. We are the same. Want to know why?
Because I was thinking about him.