You must begin "healing"
The therapist had said
Cross legged
Lips pressed
Pen tapping
Lines & lines of my
Heartache and distress
Wrote by her in
Short-hand
Oxford-note
Form
I had only met her once
On my release from
The A&E hospital bed
I don't know why
I thought this time would be
Any different?
Perhaps the mental health team would
Understand me by
This point?
My hands shook
My words
S
p
l
u
t
t
e
r
e
d
I didn't notice
But it was in her
Formal letter
In her notes she
Detailed that
I held eye contact
'A good sign'
Did she not see
That I was begging for
A lifeline?
Show me how to heal
I don't want to keep
Dreaming of black endless
Nights
And wishing for
Silence
I know life is beautiful
Please
I want to
Feel
It all
Instead I left hospital with a
Letter to my employer
Describing how I tried to
End this book of pain
& a recommendation to my doctor
Not to prescribe me
Unsupervised pills
Again
So, I sat in the ice walls of
Home
& read & read & read aloud
The voices of others
To warm my soul
Imagining
That if they can
Keep on writing
Then surely
I can
Too
- The start of healing is of course: Hope