━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━
This OC and references experimentation, non-explicit medical abuse and implied undiagnosed PTSD. If you're uncomfortable with any of the above, I suggest overlooking this review.
━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━
Fandom: Original Universe. It's very similar to our universe right now except there's a lot of wiggle room in terms of science and there is magic that can be explained/limited by science. Imagine a universe like the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it is something close to that idea. This is the closest I can probably get to how the universe functions.
Full Name: B22-9699
Nickname: B* (A shortened version of their experiment name. Got out of convenience after they became the last living experiment under this specific experimentation batch and the second successful recreation of "God"-- more on this later)
[ I know you're aware of my suggestion regarding the numbers from A's review, so I won't repeat myself.]
Age: About 8
Gender: Non-Binary
Sexuality: Asexual; too young to think/care about it
Species: Human (can be considered artificial-- more on this later)
Nationality: Unknown biological parents and unknown birthplace so there isn't a for sure way of knowing the nationality or even ethnicity at the very least. Has traces of Middle Eastern descent but does not follow any specific culture.
Appearance: B looked just like a young child with incredibly pale blonde hair that floated around their head like a halo. Their skin shone as a golden brown color that matched their blonde hair in a flattering contrast that made them look almost akin to a shining star, glowing brilliantly without needing a single word to astound a casual viewer. Where what should have been brilliant eyes that showed power and majesty that should have made anyone bend to one knee were dark eyes that seemed to swallow light itself-- an imperfection on what should have been a perfect being -- but yet showed to any casual observer that this child was not to be trifled with. The reason for their many oddities is the singularity inside them that is so dense that it can create its own mini gravitational pull allowing their hair to defy gravity, as compared to their sibling whose hair would fall over their face, and made their eyes a true black because no light would escape from it.
Furthermore, B wore sweaters. It reminds them of the warmth and comfort their brother used to give when they were younger. Despite not being able to feel anything anymore (more on this later), the soft buzz of warmth and comfort in the back of their mind made them cling to sweaters like the child they are. Additionally to this, B wears cuffs around his wrists to limit their powers and prevent their gravitational field from exiting to confines of B's body.
[ All is fine with B's appearance, consider how strong B's body has to be to hold their singularity.]
Height: 121.1 cm (shorter than their sibling because they are younger)
Weight: 5.972 × 10^24 kg (a lot of mass basically but this is a [Placeholder Weight] because we need a dense enough singularity that it doesn't just disappear in minutes so this is the minimum weight. Fun fact though: this is how heavy the Earth is)
[ Consider not disclosing B's weight/mass to the reader's of your story, hopefully, this should add a little more 'something' when the readers discover B is beginning to lose their mass and with that their power.]
Photo can be found here: https://www.wattpad.com/811561229-my-ocs-b22-96990
Personality: B does not feel emotions as well or as powerfully as their brother does. This is because, unlike their sibling who has an artificial soul, they have a singularity in replacement of a soul and this causes a limit on what emotions they feel. Which is why there are usually seen with a blank face, waiting to follow their sibling to whatever they deemed worthy to do. Without an affinity to emotions, they do, of course, feel apathetic to different things and does not question when ordered to do something no matter how unsavory. However, they do still feel small flickers of emotion and compassion that they cling to. There are some actions that can bring about these small flickers of emotion where there are flashes of joy in their face that makes them look more like a kid.
They are surprisingly gentle as well when not ordered to do something cruel, loving the feel of nature and the soft yarn of a well knit sweater. People and creatures are magnetized to their surprisingly disarming aura because of how silent and seemingly gentle they can be. Other than this, however, they are very codependent and rely on A heavily. Not just because they can't see, but because A is the only other person other than their creator who they have ever really interacted. B wants to please A and their father and will do what they say without question. However, as the story progresses, this idea is challenged as A and B gets separated and the two have to learn to develop away from each other.
[ B's got everything I look for in a near-emotionally empty character. Good job.]
Skills: B is incredibly powerful with seemingly infinite power because of the constant thrum of energy inside of them that is created by the singularity. This allows them the skill to create and destroy whatever they see fit. In addition to this, they have a surprising skill for knitting! Even though they can not see, they used to follow A's directions and would trust them when they were just starting to learn. Later in life, B gets to develop their skill further with special yarn that allows them to differentiate the different colors through touch alone and knit effortlessly through muscle memory.
Weaknesses: B's biggest weakness is their inability to differentiate between right and wrong. They would have a very shaky moral ground with such a limited touch on their emotions, but without a dependable role model, they find even the most unsavory acts reasonable as long as either their creator or A tells them to do it. It gives them minute imprints on their subconscious that prevents them from developing fully, clinging to A as much as possible. Following that, they are incredibly dependent on their sibling that they do not make their own decisions themselves. Even though they are arguably the more powerful of the two, B is stuck as merely a weapon and under the shadow of their eldest sibling.
Strengths: They are incredibly cooperative and loyal. B will blindly follow their creator and their sibling which proves that they are incredibly loyal and cooperative. Unlike their sibling who began to rebel once they realized what sorts of things their father was doing, B still hesitated to kill him and only did so when A was really in danger. Other than the attitude of servitude that was ingrained in them for years, B developed a gentle and magnetic aura that brings people and creatures towards them despite their pull of power which is a stark difference from their sibling's own personality.
[ Yeh, these are all fine. I can't find any issues.]
Powers: With a singularity as their energy source, they are able to transform and focus that energy to create seemingly impossible things such as a sun on the palm of their hand without breaking a sweat. However, this power has many limitations. A very prominent limitation is their incredible density that limits their speed and agility because they would have difficulty in adjusting their acceleration when moving because of how much mass the singularity in them contains. Of course, they are able to substitute their inability to dodge attacks through items, whatever is around, that work as temporary shields. B also is limited by the very power source inside them because if too much of the Hawking Radiation, a sort of radiation emitted by black holes that B makes use of, is used up, the singularity in them will lose completely mass and inevitably evaporate. Similar to A's powers that will eventually break down their very body, B's own powers has a time crunch and will not last forever.
[ B's powers are fine and are a nice take on omnipotence... or more so near-omnipotence. I know you've jumped down the omnipotence/omniscience and omnibenevolence rabbit hole and I bet you're having a whale of a time with that. But I'm gonna suggest another rabbit hole for you to jump in if you feel up to it, can something even be omnipotent?]
Fears: At first glance, B does not fear anything. They do not fear death, nor do they fear their father. However, what they fear the most is a little more abstract. As stated many times before, they aren't that attuned to their emotions which is why it is incredibly rare that they feel anything with a semblance to fear, but they still feel it, albeit rarely. Their most prominent fear that affects their decisions greatly is their fear of disobedience. As a being designed to be the perfect weapon and is shaped as such, B finds it hard and scary to go against their father's and A's orders to them. It isn't a very strong feeling of fear, not like A does for their own fears, but a small flicker of emotion that can bring about hesitations and second thoughts.
[ Very nice and interesting fear.]
Relationship with Family:
A [older sibling, alive]
A and B are incredibly dependent on one another. A is B's foil, personality-wise and powers-wise, and same goes the other way around. They are one of the few people that B listens to, the other being their father, and is the closest thing B has to family. Even though B doesn't normally feel emotions as they used to and isn't treated the best by their sibling, they still find the most comfort in their presence than with anybody else.
Adopted Father [name is unimportant, deceased]
An obsessed but incredibly brilliant man that created both A and B and allowed them to be who and what they are now. B has no opinion of him. They used to be incredibly obedient to him and would be used and trained as a weapon for his own use. He would push B well past their limits to see how well the singularity inside them was holding up and to see the limits of their power even well after what is safe for B. After killing their father, B rarely talks about him.
Relationship with Friends: N/A. Same with A it is part of their character arc so spoiler. Though they have minor character friends that aren't relevant to B or the plot.
Backstory Story: The basis of the story is that there is a man, the adopted father of A and B, who was obsessed with the idea of God and his magnificence and power. He was greedy and wanted God's unattainable power. He wanted to reach God, he wanted to be like God and he wanted to create something like God so he can be above God.
A and B were, of course, his two most successful results. The second half of the pair is called B, the one created to try and recreate omnipotence. The younger of the two because they are the second creation to have been successfully created.
B is beyond powerful. They have the ability to bend the laws of physics if they wanted to. Their core, instead of an artificial soul like their sibling, is a singularity, similar to those found in black holes. Their energy comes from Hawking Radiation where the energy emitted is transformed into whatever they could possibly want. Their eyes are a true black where no light reflects off their eyes because of this, a stark contrast from their sibling's bright and starry eyes.
However, this proves to have some physical limitations. They are incredibly dense, a lot of mass in a small volume, so they are slow and incapable os quickly dodging, unlike A, but can defend themselves by bringing objects in front of them. They also can't see so they rely heavily on A and their other senses.
[ Some more paradoxes for you to consider in your story; If B were truly omnipotent and beyond powerful, they would be able to create vision for themself and their mass wouldn't be an issue for them.]
Although B is capable of cognitive thinking, they are unable to understand nor register emotions very well. They are usually seen with a blank expression on their face, following through with whatever who created them or A would tell them to do. Many people would say that B was just a weapon because of this and they would be right because B was designed that way.
During the time that they were in the laboratory, B, just as stated previously, was shaped into a weapon that would follow any order given to them. They were pushed to the very brink of what their powers could physically allow to see the extent of the power of the singularity and to see what B was capable of with the energy given to them.
[ I know that B is a recreation of omnipotence, not actual omnipotence. Consider if there can be an omnipotent being, this could be something their father is constantly battling while trying to perfect B.]
Compared to A's treatment, they were treated much more harshly. This reason is what brought A to finally decide to leave. What was not in their original plan was their father's death which was an unplanned occurrence that happened out of necessity and was something that B did not want to happen originally out of loyalty to their father, but that changed when their loyalty and dependence on their brother overruled this reasoning when their father caught them before they could successfully escape.
After their time there, B found solace in knitting and was one of the things that the two of them--A originally taught B how to knit after they found out what it was during their own laboratory sessions with their father and then would continue helping B throughout their time there--used to find comfort in their time there and would still remain as a comfort now that they have escaped. The clothes that they would end up wearing after they escape were made by B themself and the first scarf that B ever made by himself is still worn by A to this day.
Being the only successful results of the man, A and B have become very co-dependent on one another because they complete each other. Without A, B would have no reason to fight or would lose the ability to see and without B, A cannot fight at all. This could be seen as A being the eyes and soul of B while B is the body of A, both incredibly necessary to one another and without either, they aren't nearly as strong as they could be.
━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━
Righto folks, let's talk business
»»————Pros ————-««
Similarily to A, there are some interesting and potentially complex concepts and ideas being implied with some lovely character design.
B's personality as well as their strengths, weaknesses and skills are all fine and have no major problems.
Detailed relationships, A and B contrast each other nicely, they have an interesting dynamic.
»»————Cons————-««
Similarily to A, consider linking B's name but that's already been discussed in A so I won't go through it again here.
Consider not giving the reader an accurate mass/weight for B.
More paradoxes if you want it; consider if something can be omnipotent.
»»————Thoughts & Suggestions ————««
Rather than stress yourself out about trying to find B the 'perfect' weight/mass for their singularity, I wouldn't mention it to the readers. The way you've described B's powers makes me think that one could roughly estimate when B will lose their powers and singularity, by tracking his weight. So to avoid other characters and readers from estimating this, you could just be vague about it. Someone could ask about B's weight and just receive a "B is just really heavy" or something along those lines from A or a shrug from B themself. You could think about A expressing their concern for B when B begins to lose mass. Being vague about their weight/mass could, in this instance, be better than being exact.
━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━
I've got another paradox for you to jump into if you are interested. Consider if something can be omnipotent. Like mentioned above this could be something A sees their father constantly considering while trying to create B. To give you a little helping hand into the omnipotence paradox, this is something I remember from R.E. lessons. "Could God create a stone so heavy that even he could not lift it?"
━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━
Like I was with A, I've been very picky with B. I can't really fault much, both A and B have good concepts, good character design, and good content in terms of personalities and so on. As you've said before they complete each other and I really see that. I'm happy with the pair of them and as should you. You've done a mighty job on them.
━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━
I don't think that B is a Mary Sue.
[These are just my thoughts and suggestions, you by no means have to do or take note of any of these.]
━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━
'I'm no prophet or messiah. Should go looking somewhere higher. I'm only human after all, I'm only human after all.'
- Rag'n'Bone Man, Human.
━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━
Thank you to nothing_blah0 for submitting B22-9699, it's been a pleasure reviewing them!
If you have any questions or queries about this review or require any help with this or any future OC just drop me a message, I'd be happy to help any way I can.
-=- ISAAC -=-