There aren't enough words to describe the emotion that surges through my veins into my heart and mind. I feel an intense emotion of happiness coddle with my every nerve, lighting a firey feeling across my skin. Yes, just watching her face brings a roundabout of emotions in me.
When I first stepped into Mama's bakery, the fragrance of the chirping AC air and cool icing on the cakes had taken over my sense. It was a small bakery fit to feed only ten or so people at a time. Not many could find space here. However, the cakes came out of the kitchen and into the display every now and then. People walked in and out of the bakery often, purchasing every bit of their special treat. And there, in the back corner of the seated area was she.
Saloni Neves, the very woman who seems to be making me insane for months now. The problem of my life.
But was she really the problem of life? I was beginning to question what I was thinking. Because it could be, that I am wrong. For now, when our eyes meet and I watched her dark chocolate eyes widen with a gasp from her lips, I felt like she was the solution to all my problems.
Within seconds I had walked across the room and she was rising from her seat with trembling hands. What took over me then, I still have to figure out. But the moment I reached into her personal space I had captured her in my arms. A heave of breath released from my lips that I didn't know I was holding onto until now. Warmth flooded into my skin. My thundering heartbeat fell into the rhythm of the melody. I was feeling calm and happy for the first time in days.
No problem was supposed to feel this calming; so beautiful and heartwarming. Indeed, she wasn't the problem, I have come to realise. The problem was in me. The problem was that I longed for her.
A moment passed before I pulled back and genteelly cupped her face into the palms of my hands. Her dusk coloured skin flooded with a crimson blush onto her cheeks. Her pink lips parted to release a breath, I sucked in air. My eyes never left hers; chocolate eyes melting into my very own. Her hair gingerly fell in a thick wavy mess around the curve of her face. And her ears felt hot against my fingers.
I had longed to see this face for months. Just a glance wasn't enough to feed my hungry soul. I wanted to absorb everything in front of me.
"Why?" I let the word fall through my lips.
"Why, what?" She knitted her thick finely shaped eyebrows together, a frown expressed itself on her face.
"Why did you leave like that? Why have you been avoiding me?" My hands made it's way from her face to her arms and into melting against her fingers.
"I..." She started, her mouth opening and closing soundless before she said. "I had to do what was right."
"What do you mean by that?" I mirrored her frown now. What could she possibly be mean by that?
"You won't understand, Aahan." She shook her head.
"Make me." I firmly squeezed onto her hands. "Tell me why you left like that."
"I can't tell you, not just yet." She bit onto her bottom lip, averting her eyes away from mine.
"It's okay." I pulled her closer, "I'm not leaving anytime soon, nor are you allowed to do the same."
Her eyes seemed to glaze over. I don't know why she seemed to want to cry. And all I wanted to do was comfort her and make sure she never shed a tear.
Yet, all you did in past was make her upset and cry. My subconscious was screaming with memories.
"Take your time, Saloni." I softly released her from my arms. "But please talk to me."
***
As a kid, I ate a whole lot of sweets. My mother often worried about me becoming a diabetic patient, hence, sweets were banned in my household. Despite having the love and a sweet tooth for everything sugary and sweet, I rarely delighted myself with such treats. I don't remember when was the last time I had a sweet dish like this, but the fragrant aroma of the chocolate oozing mud cakes and crusty honey flavoured apple pies were a tease to my taste buds.
"You're more into the sweets than me," Saloni remarked with a hint of a smile playing along the lines of her lips.
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to make it seem so obvious but it's been a while." I let my tongue lick around the lines of my lower lip before clicking them back shut into my mouth. I realised only now that I have been craving something to eat. "And it's hot."
"And I'm not?" She quirks her eyebrow at me.
"I wouldn't say hot..." I say teasingly, letting my words trail off to have a look of her face. When I see her scoff slightly, I let a grin spread across my lips. "I would say instead, you're beautiful."
My words shock her. For her skin flushes in shades of red and her lips move ajar. Feeling accomplished, I let out a chuckle.
"Maybe we should eat and then talk," Saloni says, prying open the box of cakes. We are seated in the park close to Mama's bakery. The open-air has a winter chill swaying. The leaves of the trees are falling. Even the park bench seemed a tad bit cool against the warm box of cakes. It feels good. Especially sitting side of Saloni.
What are these feelings? How are they different from my feelings for Sushmita?
I take a good look of Saloni as she picks up her mud cake and places on her lap. She moves nervously under my glance and so I avert my eyes onto the apple pie.
There's a wooden for and spoon in the box, besides the apple pie. I carry it and immediately feel a slight warmth burn at my fingers. Regardless I thrust the fork right in the centre of the pie and fish out a scoop of honey-dipped apple. The very first bite of the sweet dish is like heaven. I feel a moan rumble through my throat, at which Saloni laughs.
"You're such a foodie." She says, and I look at her with a shrug. "Food is life."
"I remember you stuffing your face with paneer tikkas, when I was on my first date." She laughs at the memory of it and takes a scoop of her own sweet dish. She hums in satisfaction and then looks at me. "Do you want a bite?"
The image of Saloni with Ashish surfaces into the top centre of my mind. It's freshly painted in my head now that she's mentioned it. The image of his hand melting into hers. Her face lighting up with some wild idea he Whispers. Them running down the street. And the most painful memory then swirls into my mind. The one in which he kissed her. And when she kissed him back.
My eyes glaze over at the memory of it and I set the apple pie down in the box. Why did it bother me so much back then? Wasn't it me who had pushed Saloni into the dates deal? Then why was I so worked up over every date she went to? Why was I going back to Sushmita only to do nothing with her but fight? Why did Saloni provoke these thoughts and questions into my mind?
"Aahan?" She calls out my name. It sounds so sweet when she does. "Do you want a taste of my mud cake?"
"Yes." I nod and immediately lean over to seize her face into my hands. "Push me away, if you don't want this," I whisper and I feel her drop the cake in the space between us. I wait for any signs of rejection but all I meet is with the eyes of approval looking into mine, asking as if I'll fulfil what she needs. And just like that, I capture her lips with mine.
The sun is setting overhead. The park is turning empty. I can feel no presence of anyone else or anything else except the body pressed against mine and the fire spreading my from my lips to my every nerve.
Our lips move in a synchronised rhythm. Our breathing collapses against each others. But nothing stops us until I feel a strong presence awakening in me, which makes me pull back. Fuck.
"It did taste good." I bite onto my lower lip. She looks into my eyes blushes. "I think, I like tasting mud cakes like this."
"You can't do this." She leans back from my face but doesn't detach herself from my arms. "You can't just show up and..."
"I was never gone, Saloni." I feel my arms tighten its grasp onto her. "It was you."
"I had my reasons." She exclaims, heaving for her breath.
"And I have my reasons, too." I lean in closer, letting my lips brush against hers. "I want to stay and find out everything about us."
She pulls away, this time, away from my arms too. I feel the heat leave my body and the strength between my legs weaken.
"Come to my uncle's villa, with me." She begins to stand up and clear out the mess we've made of the mud cake on the bench. "Meet me, at the station. I want to think this over, this weekend."
I smile as a ray of hope lights up. I'll finally get the answer to all my feelings. The answer to all my questions. And Saloni Neeves.
"This weekend, it is."
***
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