Buffy's POV
I shift on the bed as I start to wake up.
I don't want to wake up. I wanna stay here in the warm, strong arms of the woman I love. The woman who's forgiven me for all the horrible things I've said and done to her since I've been back. She's forgiven me. Forgiven me for blaming her for being back. She's forgiven me for hurting her and lying to her and everything else.
I've done so many horrible things to her and still she finds it in her to love me and forgive me for what I've done. And she didn't do it for me, I know that. She didn't do it because she felt bad that I got tortured either. If she had done it because of the torture then she would've been there for me every minute I was in the hospital, even after the shock of finding out the truth about Dawn, but she wasn't.
She disappeared completely from me for almost 4 whole weeks because she had a decision to make. A decision that had nothing to do with me. It may have affected me, it could've changed my life for better or worse no matter what the outcome was, but it was never really about me. It was about her. She had to choose for herself whether or not I was worth another shot. Whether I was worth all the pain and heartache to get to this point where we just might be happy. I never would have blamed her if she decided I wasn't.
I open my eyes and look at the sleeping beauty in front of me.
I don't deserve such a woman. I'm not worthy of someone so incredible. We may both be slayers, the only two in the world, but we're nothing a like. She's honest and caring and incredibly selfless. I'm only honest when I have to be, and only caring and selfless when I want to be. She's all these things all the time and so much more. I could never measure up to someone like her, but I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try and be a better person, for her and for Dawn.
I bite my bottom lip and try and hold back the tears in my eyes.
They deserve someone they can be proud of, someone worthy of them.
I reach out and caress her cheek.
I will one day be that person for them.
My gentle touch wakes the love of my life.
"Mmm, morning..."
She opens her eyes and that beautiful smile becomes a well of concern as she sees my face.
"What's wrong?"
Those two simple words make my tears flow free.
All the things I've done to her and she still cares enough to ask me that.
"I'm sorry."
She smiles at me again.
"You gotta stop saying that B. You might develop repetitive stress disorder or something."
I try and smile at her but the tears keep coming.
"I'm still sorry."
She takes my hands in hers and leads us both to a sitting position. I turn to face her on the bed as she does the same.
"I know that B. I told you last night that I believed you. It's one of the reasons I was willing to forgive you."
I wrap my arms around my knees.
"I don't deserve your forgiveness. I'm a horrible person."
She puts her arm around me.
"Buffy, I of all people know what being forgiven is all about. I know what it means to feel like a horrible person who doesn't deserve any happiness. But it was you who showed me different."
I drop my head to rest it against my knees.
"You showed me that I deserve to be loved just as much as anyone. You saw past the things I've done and saw the person I was, the person I could be."
"Faith..."
"Ever since I realized that I've done whatever I could to become the person you saw in me. A person you deserve to be with."
I look up at her.
"But it's me who doesn't deserve you. I'm the horrible one in this relationship."
I look away from her.
"You're not..."
She turns my head to look her in the eyes.
"You're not a horrible person B. You've done a lot for me and for your friends. More than that you stood up to them for me when you shouldn't have, when you had no reason to."
I take her hand from my cheek and hold it between us.
"I couldn't let them judge you until they saw the real you."
She inches closer and wipes the tears from my eyes.
"That's not something a horrible person would do. That's something a hero would do."
A hero?
"I'm not a hero Faith."
She kisses me sweet and simply.
"Yes, you are. You're my hero B."
I try and look away but she holds me firm.
"Do I even have to remind you what you did for me? You died for me. You gave up your life to save my own and I will always be grateful to you for that."
She kisses me, a little deeper this time.
"You're just as good a person as I am, and I don't want you to ever forget that."
She's right. She's a really good person.
I kiss her back deeply and passionately.
"Thank you..."
She kisses me again and my tears stop. I lean back on the bed as we start to make out. Our bodies press together and I reach my hands up into her hair. I moan into our kiss as her hand slides it's way to my breast until... the door flies open letting the rest of the world in, and Dawn. She runs into the room and starts jumping on the bed.
"It's morning time you lazy sluts get out of bed or I'll kick both your butts!"
We stop making out and Faith rolls off me so we can look at Dawn.
The bed's not supposed to shake till later.
Faith raises her voice.
"Dawn, go away!"
"Why?"
"Because we want you to?"
She jumps up and down a little harder.
"Not good enough."
Faith looks at me and then sits up. Her voice gets louder.
"Dawn what did we tell you about bursting into our room without knocking?"
She stops bouncing up and down and looks at Faith kinda funny.
"Try and cut back a little?"
I sit up too.
"I'm pretty sure we told you to cut it out. You do remember what happened last time you did that don't you?"
She drops down to her knees on the bed and puts her hand on her cheek.
"Yeah, I got clocked in the face by a supped-up slayer."
I look over at Faith and she has a hurt look about her.
"Dawn, would you just... go back to bed already?"
"Why?"
She starts crawling down the bed between us.
For god sake...
"Cause we'd like to be alone all right?"
She plops down on the bed right between both of us.
"Oh come on, it's not like I don't have all the same parts you have. Maybe I could watch? Get a few pointers for when I take health class next year?"
Okay that's it...
I get out of bed, pick up Dawn and carry her to the door.
"Go back to bed you sick little freak."
I put her down outside the door and she turns around.
"Fine but..."
I shut the door in Dawn's face. She shouts through the door.
"If I get an F in health I'm blaming the two of you!"
I listen to her walk off and slam her door before I turn around and head back to bed.
"We're really gonna have to talk to your daughter about barging into our room uninvited. I mean there's a spell to kick vamps out of your house, shouldn't there be one for sisters and rooms?"
I reach the bed and notice that Faith isn't even smiling.
"Faith?"
I climb into bed and she just stares at the door.
"Honey what's wrong?"
"I should never have yelled at her."
What?
"Dawn?"
"I should never have yelled at her that night."
"Faith, don't..."
"She's never gonna forget that night B. She's gonna remember that night for the rest of her life. I know I did."
I put my arm around hers, trying to comfort her.
"Faith, you shouldn't blame yourself for that. It's my fault more than yours. If I had been honest with you right from the beginning we never would have fought that night and Dawn never would've gotten hurt. Don't blame yourself, blame me."
She looks at me and touches my cheek.
"It's not about whose fault it is, it's about what she'll remember."
"She's tough, she'll get over it."
I can't let her beat herself up.
"Someone she cares about hit her. She'll never get over that. Trust me I know."
This is about more than just Dawn for her.
"Faith whatever it is, you can tell me and we'll deal."
She doesn't get a chance as a crash sounds, somewhere in the house. Faith gets tense.
"What was that?"
I give the only answer I can give.
"I don't know."
Footsteps come barrelling down the hall and she knocks frantically.
"Guys? Guys did you hear that?"
Faith and I jump out of bed and put on some clothes before opening the door.
"What was it Dawn?"
"I don't know but I think it came from downstairs."
We rush down the stairs, Dawn following close behind. Faith runs into the dining room, I run into the living room.
Nothing...
Dawn runs into the kitchen and screams.
Dawn?
We bolt into the kitchen to find Dawn kneeling over...
OH MY GOD!
"Mom?"
I'm at her side in seconds to see if she's all right.
"What's wrong with her?"
"I-I don't know Dawn."
I shake her gently to see if she wakes up, she doesn't. Faith joins us on the floor, phone in hand.
"Is she breathing?"
"I think so."
I check for a pulse.
"She's got a heartbeat too."
"Thank god... yes hello, I have an emergency. I need an ambulance at 1640 Rovello Drive. My mom she... we came downstairs this morning after hearing a crash and found her lying on the floor unconscious. Yes she's still breathing... she has a pulse she's just unconscious and she won't wake up. Please hurry..."
"Mommy?"
I look over at Dawn and she's crying. I put my arms around her and give her a shoulder to cry on, but I'm almost crying myself.
I can't cry. I have to be strong for Dawn.
"No, it doesn't look like she's bleeding or has any kind of injury."
The sirens seem to come out of nowhere and get louder. Dawn looks up from my shoulder.
"They're here..."
She keeps crying but she has this look of hope mixed in there.
"Do they know which house it is?"
The hope is suddenly replaced by panic.
"They have to know what house it is."
She pushes herself out of my arms.
"If they don't know what house it is then they can't be here to save her."
"Dawn..."
"Oh god, what if they can't do anything? What if...?"
"Dawn, everything's gonna be all right. I'm gonna go outside and make sure the paramedics get here and they're going to save her okay?"
She's still kinda panicking but she's less upset.
"Okay..."
I start to rush to the front door.
She's gonna be okay, she has to be.