•Benefits• {cash} {boyxboy}

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I kinda wish I was buried six feet under but oh g o d I wish I was buried in your arms. c.d&n.g Book One... Daha Fazla

Benefits •cash• boyxboy
Chapter 1: This Is How It All Started
Chapter 2: Youtubers and Secrets
Chapter 3: Appointments
Chapter 4: It Meant Nothing
Chapter 5: Comfort
Chapter 6: Just Friends
Chapter 7: #Nia
Chapter 8: Lia
Chapter 9: House Party
Chapter 10: Drunk Matt
Chapter 11: Catthew
Chapter 12: The Agreement
Chapter 13: Matt Needs Help
Chapter 14: I Only Want You
Chapter 15: Scrabble
Chapter 16: Trailer Trash
Author Note *Important*
Chapter 17: A Chat With Matt
Chapter 18 : New York New York (Part One)
Chapter 19: New York New York (Part Two)
Chapter 20: Happiness
Chapter 21: An Awkward Situation
Chapter 22: Matt's Thoughts
Chapter 23: An Unexpected Visit
Chapter 24: All Good Things Come To An End
Chapter 25: Hatred
Chapter 26: Matt Is A Bit Upset
Chapter 27: Silver Linings
Chapter 28: Friendship Is Key
Chapter 29: Misery
Chapter 30: Breakdown
Chapter 31: Ever Heard Of The Term 'Anger Sex'?
Chapter 32:Wonderwall
Chapter 33: Mr Mendes
Chapter 34: Mr Mendes (Part 2)
Chapter 35: Roof Tops
Chapter 36: Oh
Chapter 37: Closure
Chapter 38: Petty
Chapter 39: Hope
Chapter 40: A Big Mistake And Some Heartbreak
A quick note
Chapter 41: Exile
Chapter 42: Sting
Chapter 43: Uncertainty
Chapter 44: Mini Grier
Chapter 45: Misconception
Chapter 46: All Or Nothing
Chapter 47: Cartah Stahp (Part One)
Chapter 48: Cartah Stahp (Part Two)
Chapter 49: Me And You
Chapter 50: Don't Go
Chapter 51: Light My Fire
Chapter 52: I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off Me
Chapter 53: R U Mine?
Chapter 54: Little Things
Chapter 55: Dalliance
Chapter 56: I Want You To Want Me (Part One)
Chapter 57: I Want You To Want Me (Part Two)
Chapter 58: I Want You To Want Me (Part Three)
Chapter 59: I Want You To Want Me (Part Four)
Chapter 60: I Miss You
Chapter 61: Just
Chapter 62: Girl Talk
Chapter 63: Something Big
Chapter 64: Coming Of Age (Part One)
Chapter 65:Coming Of Age (Part Two)
Chapter 66: Coming Of Age (Part Three)
Chapter 67: IFHY
Chapter 69: Not Again
Chapter 70: Back
Chapter 71: Words
Chapter 72: Forget
Chapter 73: Conversations About Nash
Chapter 74: If Only
Chapter 75: Flashbacks
Chapter 76: Plans
Chapter 77: Flights And Goodbyes
Chapter 78: Ponder
Chapter 79: Angry Cameron
Chapter 80: Love Is A Laserquest
Chapter 81: That's Where You're Wrong
Chapter 82: Teddy Picker
Chapter 83: Breaking Point
Chapter 84: Since Forever
Chapter 85: Just For A Day
Chapter 86: I Would Do Anything For You
Chapter 87: Your Love Will Tear Us Apart
Chapter 88: Still Take You Home
Chapter 89: One For The Road
Chapter 90: Pull Yourself Together
One
Chapter 91: Wedding Bells
Chapter 92: Bittersweet
Chapter 93: Late Night Conversations
Chapter 94: What Came First The Chicken Or The Dickhead?
Chapter 95: Under Pressure
Explanation
Chapter 96: And I Swear I Don't Have A Gun
Chapter 97: I Write Sins Not Tragedies
Chapter 98: It's A Bad Religion
Chapter 99: Tick Where It Hurts
Chapter 100: Epilogue
Ending Notes and Alternative Endings
Soundtrack
We Need To Talk
Asking Me Personal stuff

Chapter 68: Shutdown

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wedontbelieveinyou tarafından

Hayes' POV

"Shawn!" I yelled.

For the past few weeks I had thought Shawn was missing or dead. Seeing Shawn standing there made me feel so much better. It was the best birthday present ever, just knowing that he's okay.

Just as I began to run over to him there was a loud crash from upstairs. I jumped at the fright. Everyone's eyes grew wide. Then the sound of footsteps hastily walking down the stairs was heard. Cameron emerged from upstairs. He had tears in his eyes.

Everyone exchanged nervous glances. Something bad had happened.

I couldn't help but ignore the horrible feeling in my gut telling me that this is just the beginning of a huge shit storm about to hit.

"I have to go." He said quickly while wiping a tear from his face. He then gave me a sympathetic smile. "Happy birthday." He said as he hastily walked out the front door.

Everyone was quiet. "What the hell just happened?" Taylor asked while emerging from behind Shawn.

My heart started beating really fast.

Nash. I needed to see if he was okay. I quickly ran upstairs to check on Nash. Whatever just happened could not be good. Especially considering Nash's recent mood.

My heart stopped and I froze. Nash was standing, aimlessly staring at the floor. The floor was filled with broken glass and the remains of a watch.

There were tears dropping out of his eyes, yet his face showed no emotion.

I ran up to Nash and grabbed him. "Nash?" I asked. He looked at me with no emotion whatsoever. "Nash what happened?" I demanded. Nash didn't reply. He just looked at me, a single tear dropping from his eye.

"Nash goddamit! Answer me!" I continued.

No no no. This was not happening. He hasn't had an episode in over a year. He can't have one now. He's been doing so well for himself. I thought he could control this.

"Nash! Look at me!" I yelled. He lifted his head up. And then I noticed.

His eyes were grey.

And that's when I knew, that he was gone.

//

I slowly backed away from Nash.

I quickly ran back down stairs.

"EVERYONE OUT NOW!" I yelled.
Everyone looked at me with confused and puzzled faces. "NOW!" I repeated.

No one moved. I felt myself getting weak. I collapsed on the ground.

Mahogany rushed over to me. The tears were pouring out of my eyes at an imaginable speed. "Hayes what is wrong?" she demanded. I looked up at her.

"Please, just get everyone out of here and call my dad." I said softly. Mahogany hesitated. "Please..." I begged.

Mahogany nodded her head and let me go. I curled up into a ball and started balling.

"Everyone. You heard what Hayes said. Please leave. Now." Mahogany said assertively.

"Why? What's going on?" Jack Johnson asked. "Yeah, we want to know. We can help." Taylor added.

"Guys PLEASE. I'll keep you updated just please leave." Mahogany begged.

I heard the soft murmurs of complains as all the guys were forced to leave. I didn't care. All I cared about was my brother. I knew he wasn't okay. He had gone back to that dark place.

After everyone had left, Mahogany dialed my dad's number.

"Hi Mr Grier? Yes it's Mahogany. You need to come home immediately. Something's happened." She said calmly. "No I am not sure. Hold on a second." She said while bringing the phone over to me. I quickly grabbed it.

"Hayes what is the issue?" My dad asked. He sounded annoyed. We probably interrupted him watching some show.

"Nash is bad again." I said softly.

Mahogany raised an eyebrow.

The other end was silent.

"I'll be there immediately." My dad said while hanging up.

"What do you mean 'Nash is bad again'?" Mahogany asked. All her sense of calmness had vanished. I didn't say anything. I wasn't sure if I should tell her or not.

She turned around and started to go upstairs.

I quickly got up and stopped her. "No. Don't go up there." I said firmly.

She threw her hands up. "Then explain to me Hayes. Explain to me what is going on here!" She demanded.

I took in a deep breath.

"Nash is bipolar. Manic-depressive. Whatever you want to call it okay. He has it at its severest. He's been on medication his whole life."

Mahogany started breathing really fast. "How come I didn't know? How come the guys didn't know?" she asked.

I shrugged. "He wanted to keep it a secret. We all thought he was getting better. It's been over a year since the last time he had an episode. I didn't... I didn't think it would happen again."

"An episode?" Mahogany asked.

"He either gets really happy or really sad. And when he gets really happy, he gets really happy. So happy it's kind of terrifying. But it's worst when he gets sad. He doesn't leave his room. He doesn't talk. You can go up to him and he will have no emotion whatsoever. He builds this wall in his mind and he does it so well that if he is behind it for long enough, he can't even get out. It's only ever been like this once before. He didn't talk or leave his room for three months. When he did leave, it was to attempt to jump off a building." I said. I started crying even harder at the memory. That horrible day.

Mahogany looked like she was on the verge of breaking down too. She was swaying back and forth. "God. I am so sorry Hayes." She said softly.

"It's hereditary. Nothing to be sorry about."

"You don't have it do you?"
Mahogany asked slowly.

"No. I haven't shown any signs of it so." I said with a sigh.

Mahogany nodded.

"How do you stop it?" she asked.

"You don't. You have to wait till the episodes over. And that can take weeks."

//

QOTD: when you feel down or sad, what do you do to cheer yourself up?

-I like to watch the first two seasons of Glee idk why don't judge.

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