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Now I sit in detention during my lunch hour with three other students.
One rando egg I've never met that keeps sending me kissy faces and making obscene gestures in my direction. I swear if he takes one step my way I will karate chop his head right off.
For some reason, Carl, who appears to be in a bad mood and is off pouting in a corner, speaking to no one.
The other is one of Namjoon's friends that I've never met, but the moment he entered the room he came straight to where I was situated and pulled up a chair to sit at the same table. He fluffs his black hair and eyes me in boredom before offering his name and a small wave.
"Yoongi."
I nod. "Y/n."
"You smell like cat." he says bluntly.
"Cats are life. Don't come at me."
"I prefer dogs."
All of the friendliness drops from my soul. "Why are you insulting me like this?"
Yoongi only scoffs and then turns away to watch the ticking clock on the wall. "You're stupid."
"Wha-"
I'm effectively cut off by the door swinging open and one of the more useful interim teachers, and captain of the women's tennis team, walks in. Kim Heechul. His classes were one of the most interesting and fun experiences in school life. And his detentions (or so I've heard) could be some of the worst, as he enjoyed giving out more creative punishments. At least he's good looking.
"Hello, hello, folks." he greets us with a cheerful voice but with a vindictive gleam in his eye as though we had all done something to personally offend him. "Why don't we get rid of these pesky tables and gather round. Come on, now," he waves an arm to motion us forward.
I want nothing more than to be at home right now under a pile of cats but here I am instead. Damn you, Namjoon. It's your fault.
Mister Kim has us bring our chairs to the front of the room and we all sit facing each other in a circle, him included.
"Everyone take in a deep breath." he instructs and unenthusiastically, we all do. "Gooood, now lets introduce ourselves. I'll go first. I'm Kim Heechul, your teacher for the next hour. I love sad music, the color red, and I hate rainy days. My most valuable treasure is myself."
Oh GOD why am I here? I'd rather clean the gym or write an essay. Why should we have to talk about ourselves? I spend a good amount of time already ignoring my own feelings but now am expected to talk about this. Damn you Mister Kim. Damn you Namjoon. It's the last thing I want to do but now Mister Kim's eyes are on me so I speak anyway, trying and failing to keep the boredom out of my voice.
"I'm Lee Y/n. I like cats. I dislike the color purple, and wolves-" I catch the perverted student waggling his tongue at me, "-and YOU."
"Very good." The teacher nods, ignoring the fact that me and the other student are having a silent war now. He directs his attention to Yoongi. "And you?"
Yoongi looks more unexcited than I do. "Min Yoongi," he drawls, "I don't like detention." his gaze drifts to the pervert. "Or you."
Mister Kim looks at a still pouting Carl.
"Imma Carl Vogt. I like a cats and my girlfriends but the boys says she not a girlfriend cause I no ask her out. I don't know what ask her out mean. But I like all my girlfriends. I like girls, lots of girls is good."
I have yet to determine if Carl is an innocent bunny or if he's a mad talented playboy good at playing the innocent bunny. Whatever. He's cool with me as long as he likes cats.
"I'm Mikey." the pervert cuts into Carl's barely coherent rambling. "I like girls too." his head turns freakishly fast in my direction. "Specifically, you."
I can't help it. "EW!"
"Settle down, folks." Mister Kim breathes. "Let's discuss why we're all here. I'm here because you brats couldn't behave for a few hours into your school day. I could be relaxing in the teachers lounge, texting my girlfriend, grading some papers, making some use of my time. But alas, here I sit with you disrespectful jerks and wasting what could have been a productive lunch hour. So tell me Miss Y/n, why are you here?"
The last time I was in trouble in school was years ago when I beat up the girls for hurting Eun-ji. Since then I've never even been reprimanded once. At this point I'd much rather Mister Kim yell at me and send me on my way than making me talk.
"I accidentally spit water on my classmate." I speak while facing my lap in the hopes that maybe I'll look pitiful enough for him to want to go easy on me. He doesn't.
"How do you accidentally spit on someone?"
Telepathically I send angry thoughts in Namjoon's direction for getting me into this. Why would he say something that hilarious? With witnesses! And a camera, for god's sake!
"I was laughing."
"And why were you laughing in class instead of paying attention?" he presses on.
I furiously fight with myself to keep the attitude out of my voice. "It was literally the second class started."
Mister Kim slaps his knee. "Negative five points."
"Wha-"
"What were you laughing at?" he cuts me off and raises an eyebrow. I gape at him, totally confused over what just happened. "Ten points if you tell me. Twenty if you tell me in detail."
What the hell are the points for? And am I really expected to tell him in detail what I saw on that phone? Jimin and Taehyung might die if Namjoon finds out that they still have that footage. Are their lives more important than me gaining points in this stupid detention session? It might help if I understood what the point system was about. I glance over at Yoongi to find him studying his nails. If I repeat what I saw, would he let Namjoon know about it?
Only one way to find out.
"A video of my boy—of my friend rapping to a room full of witnesses that he's a sexy porn star."
It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. For one wild second I thought I was gonna lose it and bust out laughing when Yoongi's head whipped around to stare at me, wide-eyed. Somehow I managed to hold this in while Mister Kim observes me.
He nods. "Negative fifty points."
"WHAT?" I burst.
"That was a test. You failed! Mister Carl, tell us why you're here. And be truthful," his eyes narrow into slits, "or negative two thousand points."
This makes no sense.
Carl jumps into a long-winded story that I barely understand. Something about an argument in home ec about cupcakes and the metric system. His accent is strong and his sentences disjointed and I'm pretty sure Mister Kim doesn't understand it either, but just pretends to so he can be more annoying.
"Very good, Carl. You get six hundred thousand and ninety four points." He moves his attention to the pervert as Carl punches the air in victory. "And you?"
"Oi, that bitch Miss Ahn said-"
Mister Kim cuts him off with an angry look. "First of all, watch your tongue or it's a suspension. Second, Miss Ahn is a beautiful woman and I won't have you disrespecting her."
Miss Ahn looks more like a turtle than a human, and her ass is in the shape of a square, but I can't help but admire Mister Kim for his passionate defense. As stupid as his point system is.
"Fine." Pervert Mike says. "Teacher Ahn caught me texting in class."
"Who were you texting?"
"My Ma."
"What were you texting her?"
"I'm not saying."
Pervert Mike and Mister Kim then preceded to have a lengthy stare down. This seriously went on for six whole minutes before finally the teacher declares with fury in his tone: "Negative seventy TRILLION points!"
Yoongi, Carl and I all chorused at the same time, "OoOOOOOoooOOO!"
I don't know why.
This point system still makes no sense.
"Mister Yoongi," Mister Kim turns back to face the rest of us, annoyance etched on his face. "It's your turn."
"I skipped gym class and slept under the bleachers instead." Yoongi says without preamble. "Because I hate gym class and I was sleepy. I don't regret it."
That last part was unnecessary and just when I think he's going to be scolded, Mister Kim smiles instead.
"Very good, you get one point. You can all leave now but I want a five thousand word essay on why school is important by Wednesday morning. Except for you, Carl. You're a perfect and beautiful man and you don't deserve the injustice that's been done to you."
I'm still pretty sure Mister Kim has no idea what Carl said, but ok. Also I'm ninety-nine percent positive that even he doesn't understand his own point system. Honestly, who could?
When we leave the classroom I'm grateful for Yoongi because he falls into step next to me, cutting off Pervert Mike's advance. So after sending a glare Yoongi's way, his gaze falls back to me and he grabs his crotch and winks once more before strutting off.
What a lovely person.
"Hey cat woman." Yoongi speaks up when Pervert Mike is out of sight. Before proceeding with whatever he wants to say he looks around, presumably to check if anyone else was within earshot. "Where did you see it?"
It takes me a minute to figure out what he's talking about. Oh. The top secret Namjoon footage. I shrug in reply but I know it doesn't take a genius to figure it out. The only people from their group I talk to (apart from Namjoon) are Jimin and Taehyung.
Yoongi considers me for a moment. "I will pay you money if you give it to me."
...what?
"Why?"
"That isn't important." he waves the question off and fixes me with a serious look. "How much do you want for it?"
"How much...can you get me?"
What am I doing?
"Twenty."
"Thousand?"
He rolls his eyes and sighs in annoyance. "Do I look rich to you, woman?"
"Not really. You look like a bum."
He rolls his eyes again and I can hear my dad's voice in my head, reprimanding: "Your eyes will get stuck like that if you aren't careful!" Untrue, but enough for twelve-year-old me to be too scared to roll my eyes for the next three years. Yeah, I wasn't too bright.
"Fifty."
"Would you sell a national treasure for dog shit?"
"Aish." he gripes at me but agrees. "How about this." Yoongi looks back and forth again to check that we're still alone. "I'll get you a cat tower."
By the smirk growing on his face I can tell that he knows that he's won me over. My precious babies deserve a tower and I'd wanted to get them one for years but dad always refused, insisting 'they don't need that shit'. While at the same time won't let me get a job to buy one myself because he wants me to focus on my studies.
"Fine." I concede. "But a nice one. With pouches for catnip. And a place to hang toys!"
"Yeah, yeah, it's a deal, but I want that video."
Never mind that I don't have the video. Never mind Jimin and Taehyung and now maybe Yoongi may or may not die once Namjoon finds out. Never mind that my not-a-boyfriend-cause-we're-on-a-break might not take too kindly to me putting this video in Yoongi's hands.
My cats are getting a cat tower! This is a win.
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Edited 7/28/21